Very slowly but surely

We're in our new house, and we're doing OK living through the chaos. On top of having most of our stuff in boxes or strewn on random floors at our house, this week is VBS week at church, and I'm helping again this year. Can you say "stress"? :) So far at the house, I've painted Lucy's room (two coats primer, one coat of a super light pink), cleaned a lot, painted about 1/3 of the main bathroom (just the area that is around/behind the washer/dryer), unpacked a lot of kitchen boxes, and I'm sure there's more but I think I'm too tired to think!

Our internet is getting hooked up here in the next few days (we're online using Jon's phone right now), so I'll be on more then and will post some pictures too. :)

Done deal

Escrow closed on the condo today--it's ours! We went by tonight to pick up the keys, and I immediately took down the purple curtains in the living room, dining room, and master bedroom (this girl definitely has a thing for purple). Colleen and I took out the contact paper from the kitchen cabinets too. It looks like tomorrow will be a cleaning day and a "partial moving" day. I doubt we'll get everything moved, but we'll get started. Jon has his company's 14-foot truck this weekend, but I think he could probably get it next weekend if we needed it then too.

I don't think I ever mentioned it, but we were able to make the loans work so that we are also able to keep our Irvine house and rent it out. Yay!

Questions I've been pondering

Where is the balance between helping Nate to be "normal" and accepting him for who he is? I am glad he is getting so many kinds of therapy and seems to be doing well with it. But is there a point where we are pushing him too much, not allowing him to be his own person?

No parent wants to hear their child has something "wrong." We want our children's lives to be easy, happy, so when we hear they have a condition that means things will be more difficult for them, it's heartbreaking. But do I really know what's going to make Nate happy when he's older, or am I projecting what I would want for him (to have friends, to do well in school, to speak eloquently, to get married and have children)?

Estee Klar-Wolfond, a mother of a child with autism and an activist, writes,

We do not hear about research that seeks to help autistic people be the best autistic people they can be. We need to redirect our attention to merging help (with the more disabling aspects of autism) with respect (respecting the autistic person’s right to exist) and realize that there is life beyond an over-simplified “cure.” Further, helping the more disabling aspects of autism (anxiety, sensory issues) can exist outside of a "cure" for autism.

I urge every parent (but for those who visit this blog, I bet I’m preaching to the choir), to actively seek out the alternatives and become proactive in not accepting strategies that change your child to “appear normal” because they will ultimately be very damaging to their self-image as teenagers and adults, and we will have greater problems to contend with later.

I don't necessarily agree completely with the author (e.g., "self image" and self esteem often encourage us to look inside ourselves for our identity, when really our identity is in Christ), but she did make me think. I don't want Nate to think we believe there's something wrong with who he is. He does need therapy, because we want him to be able to communicate effectively and function in the world. But beyond his learning to talk and at least identify (if not understand) social mores, I don't want to push him too much. (But what is too much? I don't want to waste his most formative years when therapy and behavior "modification" and discipline and proactive parenting have the most impact! I don't want to say, "Nate is just going to be this way," just because it's easier not to take action. As you can see, I haven't worked this all out in my head, which is why this post is titled, "Questions.")

I guess what I really need to keep my focus on is fostering Nate's spiritual growth. I want him to become a believer in Christ, and I want him to be happy, however that happens. I want him to know we love him no matter what, that we enjoy his personality and want him to pursue his interests.

VA

Here are some highlights from our trip.

• Jon and I left Nate and Lucy with my parents midway through the week and went to Natural Bridge and the caverns that are there too. It was really neat. I'd been to Natural Bridge about 10 years ago but hadn't been to the caverns.
• Nate played some new games with my parents. My dad put three cups upside down and placed an object underneath one; then he moved the cups around while Nate watched and then had to pick which cup the object was under. Nate loved it. He also liked an alphabet puzzle my mom had, and by the third or fourth day of the trip, he knew all 26 letters (he can even say some of them correctly). He says "Umpa" for Grandpa and "Neenee" or "Nannie" for Mimi. (FYI for the video below: Jack is my parents' dog.)





• Several people commented on how Lucy looks more like Jon than pictures made it seem. She definitely seems to have his eyes and face/head shape. I love that! :)
• My dad and I played at "social hour" at the place where my grandparents live. Pop introduced us, and we played six or seven pieces. It was fun!
  
  
  
  
• At the end of the week, our friends Nate and Louise and their children, who are in the states for a family reunion in North Carolina, came and stayed at Hanshill for two nights. It was a sweet but very short time. Their three girls, who are 4, 2, and 4 months, are adorable. Here is the youngest with Lucy and then a cute bath pic (hate those red eyes):
  
  
  
  
  

We had a lovely trip!

Who, me?

Home sweet home

We made it back last night after a long day (and night) of travel. Those inevitable travel hiccups (a lady in our row on the long flight getting sick, or ending up in the wrong parking lot at 11:00 p.m. to get our car) just seem worse when there are children involved! However, we are home and happy. I think both kids are back on CA time already--at least their naps have been CA time.

Speaking of home, our house situation isn't quite resolved: an unrelated-to-us issue came up with our loan, so it didn't fund. It looks like we might get it worked out without having to start the loan process all over, so I'm hopeful we'll have the deal closed by the end of this week. That would mean our projected move date of this weekend would still work. We'll see!

I'll post again soon about our trip.

More trip pics

We are still having a relaxing time here. Every day is mostly the same--try to stay cool while my mom has fun with Nate and Lucy. Nate hasn't been behaving particularly well. He is super attached to Jon and whines when Jon is in the room and then fusses when he leaves. This is really the first time ever that Nate hasn't traveled extremely well, so I think we've just been spoiled until now. Overall, we're still having a nice trip.

Two baldies

My dad with Luce

You know you're a redneck if...

Jon and I went to Natural Bridge on Wednesday

Fun at dinner on Wednesday

Nannie and Nate

Virginia pics

Nannie and Lucy

Fun at the pondFather and daughter

Outside Hanshill... watch out for mosquitoes!
The Hanshill bathtub has hosted generations of splashing

VA

We're having a very relaxing time here in Virginia. It's more than a bit sticky, but that's to be expected. Nate went swimming (with life vest and in Mimi's arms) in the pond yesterday and today and thought it was pretty cool. His Grandpa and Mimi have come up with some new games he likes to play, and he calls my mom (Mimi) "Neenee." Lucy is acting precious and sweet as usual. She adjusted to the three-hour time difference within 24 hours--seems like little babies make that transition pretty easily (at least my little babies do). I took some fun pictures today, so I'll try to post them tomorrow!

Friends

Here are Nate and Lucy with some sweet friends who are the same ages. So cute!

Packing

So, the packing party might be the best idea I've ever had. We got so much packed tonight... and really, I should say they got so much packed tonight, because I probably packed two boxes total and did a lot of directing and answering questions ("Katie, do you really want to pack this mostly empty bottle of 4-year-old Nair?") and organizing instead. Ricci, Katrina, Katie, Lissa, Heather, Casey, and Colleen packed our entire kitchen, pantry, every toy, much of the garage, both bathrooms, and more--dozens and dozens and dozens of boxes. And I think we all had fun! It was great and now I feel so wonderful and stress-free.

Thank you to my sweet, wonderful friends!

Decorating

There are a few rooms in our new house that I want to redecorate right away: the bathrooms, Lucy's room, and the kitchen.

Lucy's room
Currently painted a boyish neutral (looks lighter in the photo):




My changes:
Pink and green bedding and curtains. I'm thinking about a barely-pink pink for the walls. For curtains, maybe something like these, with the same fabric and pom-pom trim as the crib bedding:


Main floor (guest) bathroom (currently painted very lavender):
Wallpaper (very un-Californian!). I like the idea of a bold black-and-white wallpaper and then accenting the room with either ice blue or red accessories. But I've also found some cool colored wallpapers. I like these:

or...

Downstairs (master) bathroom (currently painted an orangeish neutral on all walls and the ceiling)
Needs something. I will definitely paint the ceiling white and then either a light color on the walls or maybe one of the wallpapers from above if I like how the wallpapering turns out in the other bathroom.

Kitchen
We are hoping to do an overhaul with new cabinets and countertops at some point, but for now, the purple wall has to go.

I've found a few fun wallpaper things but might just be going a bit wallpaper happy.

I'll probably just paint over the purple with white or red and wait until we do the kitchen makeover and put some sort of cool 1/2-inch tile backsplash there instead.

Here's Nate's room. I think we'll take down the mirrors; I don't know if there's paint behind them, so that might mean a whole-room repaint if there isn't.

Countdown

We are going to Virginia on Friday! I can barely wait for everyone to meet Lucy. I'm also secretly hoping (not so secretly anymore) to get a few "Wow, Nate is doing so well" remarks; sometimes it's hard for me to see his progress since I'm with him 24/7 and don't get to step back and see the big picture or easily compare how he was a few months ago to now.

Also, escrow should be closing Thursday on our house! I think the only thing left to happen is our loan funding. I've been doing OK packing--I get two or three boxes packed each day, which I consider an accomplishment! :) I'm having a "packing party" tomorrow night--a bunch of girlfriends are coming over to help. Then Jon is taking Thursday off; we will pack the house, pack for Virginia, and (I hope) sign papers for the house. We won't move to the new place until the weekend after we get back from VA.

More pictures from Sunday:

Nate fake laughing on the way to church

My precious girl

Too exhausted on the way home (he doesn't usually fall asleep in the car)

Baby dedication

Today was Lucy's baby dedication in church. She looked very cute wearing the same Dior dress (and adorable bonnet) I wore as a baby.

Lucy:


Me, circa December, 1980:

At our church, the baby dedication is about the parents dedicating themselves to training up the child in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. This is a high calling, one I can only accomplish through the power of God working in and through me.

We love you, Lucy!

Seasons

I've been thinking lately about seasons of life and how important it is to appreciate and experience fully each season as it comes. I spend too much time wishing for things that will come in time (e.g., no diapers, or talking in full sentences). Often, when those things come, I'm already wishing for the next thing. What a terrible way to live life!

Things to appreciate now: the hectic craziness of running around after a two year old while also holding a three month old... and still having the energy to do it (most days). (Truly makes me wonder how mothers of three, four, or more do it!) The sweet innocence of my baby girl. The absolute trust and devotion of my children. Full days to devote to play. Being young with my husband.

I know I will look back one day and think fondly of these years. I also want to look back and know that I made the best of them, not wasting the time and opportunities God gave.

Happy 4th

We had a nice family day yesterday. I love when Jon is home from work on a weekday! We went to Casey's parents' house in the late afternoon for swimming and fellowship. We stayed for dinner and watched the fireworks (though Nate, who would have appreciated them I think, was already in bed, and Lucy slept through them in her carseat).

Nate update

Therapy
Nate was reevaluated at Cornerstone (the therapy center) this month, and they recommended an increase in hours--from 5 per week to 10. He'll now be getting 5 hours ABA, 2 hours occupational therapy, 1 hour physical therapy, and 1.5 hours speech therapy (the extra half hour is for the parent meeting). I've been debating about whether to ask his caseworker to place him somewhere else closer to us for at least part of the therapy (maybe he could continue ABA at Cornerstone but get OT, PT, and speech at other places). I spoke to the scheduler at Cornerstone, though, and they are able to keep it so that we still only have to drive up there two days a week; Nate would continue to get in-home ABA on Tuesdays and now also Fridays. If we were to split up his different therapies among various vendors, it would make things more difficult schedule-wise, and it would mean more driving around and more adjustment for Nate (new therapists and locations).

The two days we would have to go to Cornestone in Huntington (Wednesdays and Thursdays) would be extended from an hour and a half each time to something more like three hours each time. This would be a big adjustment for Nate, because 1) that would cross over into nap territory and 2) he's already really ready to go by the end of the hour and a half. However, the more I think about it, the more I'm leaning toward keeping everything at Cornestone. Yes, it's a far drive. Yes, I will basically have to sit there with Lucy for three hours both days (too far and too much gas to drop him off, come back home, and then drive back. Edited to add: I do already do some grocery shopping or other errand running if possible up there in Huntington Beach while Nate is in therapy, so I'll keep doing that of course). But Nate is getting to like some of his therapists there, and it's nice to have everything all at one place (just wish it were closer!).

Enzymes
Things are going well with the enzymes. I haven't seen any breakthrough huge improvement, but in general I think Nate is more agreeable (usually... but he's still 2). He's doing much better at understanding and obeying what I tell him to do. He is still refusing any new/unliked food I try to introduce, and his diapers are still atypical, but I'm still hopeful for improvement in those areas too.

I pray that, in the future, I will look back on these days and say, "Wow, all of that work was really worth it!"

Weekend pics

Water boy


Lucy lovin' Daddy

Did I say we weren't getting the house?

Apparently, I was wrong. You heard me--we are now getting the house! We decided we will put our current house on the market (in several weeks, after we've moved to the other place and also done a bit of fix-up work on this house). I packed four boxes tonight in my excitement. (By the way, "tonight" is Wednesday, but I probably won't post this for several days, seeing as I've already said "we might get it," "we're getting it!" and "nevermind, we're not getting it" in a short span, so I'd like to be sure if I'm going to post another change of plan.) Why didn't we do the selling-our-house thing in the first place, you ask? Well, it isn't the greatest market to try and sell and we also think it would be great in the long run to have two properties, but it just won't work right now. But now I'm excited all over again about the new house! Three bedrooms--yay! New decorating--yay!

I have fabric for Lucy's crib bedding, and I sent it to my mom today (now Friday) so she can make the bumper and bed skirt. Here's the bed skirt:


I can come up with the ideas like this, but I have a harder time executing them and figuring out how to get to the end product when starting with just a strip of fabric. My mom's good at that. I have some super cute pink and green fabrics, including the paisley I found several months ago.

Yay for new plans!