Little entrepreneurs

All summer, Nate and Lucy have been having fun making bracelets and other creations on their Rainbow Looms, which are looms used to loop little rubber bands.

Here are a couple of bracelets Nate recently made:

So Lucy decided she wanted to sell some of her creations. She made a sign and price tags, and she grouped her creations into prices (50 cents, $1, and $1.50) according to how awesome she thought the creation was. 

We set up on a blanket by the mailboxes around 4:00/4:30.

Nate held the sign (and emphatically held it out whenever a car drove by). Levi declared himself the "pointer": when a car drove by, he stood there and pointed at Lucy. That was pretty cute.

I had told Lucy to expect maybe two or three people to stop by (I didn't want her expectations too high!), but over ten people came (either walking up or driving by, stopping, and coming over; one lady shopped straight from her car). 

Now they have the bug and are already talking about the next sale. Nate told Lucy how she could improve her sign and also thinks we should make a separate sign to put out earlier in the day saying when the sale will begin. He also thinks maybe he'll sell some of his creations (I think he has a harder time parting with stuff he has made, but he can't deny the appeal of big profits... Lucy made over $18, which is 36 weeks' worth of allowance!). Lucy plans on using her money to buy more loom bands to make more creations. 

Nate's class play

Jon and I went to the first performance of Nate's class play, "Noah's Ark," this morning. In the third grade at this school, students learn about "Hebrew Stories"--so even though this is a public school, they read about the Old Testament.

Nate was Noah in the play! Here's a video:

Nine

I missed posting about Nate's birthday. This guy turned 9 twelve days ago. We went for smoothies after school on the actual day, and for dinner, he asked for steak, sweet potato rounds, and plantain chips. Then we had family over on Saturday for dinner.  For the party, we had spicy honey chicken, salad, and bread/chips. Nate chose to have two friends (cousin Seth and church friend Sam) sleep over as his "party."

Happy birthday, big guy!

School update

We met with the administration team at school yesterday about Nate. It was nice to share some of the things that have been going on in the class--and it sounds like we were just confirming things they mostly already knew.

In between my request to move Nate to a different grade and yesterday's meeting, the administration announced they would be adding another 4th grade class next year (the grade Nate will/would be in if we didn't make a change). Nate's current teacher will be one of the 4th grade teachers, and a new teacher will be added to teach the second 4th grade. Some of the current 4th graders would switch to the new class, while a slew of kids on the waiting list to get into the school would complete that class (and some would be added into Nate's current class).

 While I wanted to wait to see what the teachers and administration recommended regarding Nate (whether to switch grades or stay), I thought moving Nate to the new 4th grade class would be a good solution: new teacher, some of the same kids (but not all), no negative reactions about being "held back," etc. The people at yesterday's meeting seemed to agree, and so that's what will be done. Yay!

School update

After praying and thinking through Nate's current school situation, I kept coming back to something I had dismissed at first: keeping Nate in 3rd grade again next year (holding him back). This would mean he would be the oldest (but not by far--only 9 days!), not the youngest. It could mean he would be in his cousin, Cami's, class, which he would love. It would mean he'd have another year to catch up on the things he's behind on (fine motor and gross motor skills, music, handwriting, some math). It would mean he would have a different teacher, and both of the possible teachers (there are two classes for that grade) are more experienced and stricter than Nate's current teacher.

Jon has reminded me that this solution won't solve everything. Nate quite possibly will still be teased. Jon has rightly observed that Nate doesn't know how to react to other boys' typical teasing behavior. He reacts weakly, angrily--basically inviting more teasing. So whatever happens with his classroom situation, Jon and I need to be even more diligent in training him and talking with him about this. He can't control other boys, but he is in control of how he reacts.

I spoke to the principal last week about the situation and my idea. It was obvious he had heard from other parents about the current classroom situation and knew the teacher wasn't equipped to lead this class well. He was very open to my idea of holding Nate back; in fact, it sounds like he thinks it's a very good idea. I think there are formalities that need to take place (approvals, seeing if there is room in one of the classes as far as numbers go, etc.), but I'm pretty confident it will happen. Although I would like to move Nate now, I think I'm the only one who thinks that's a good idea. Since I've never done this before, I'm willing to agree to the timing everyone else recommends--so it will probably be over the summer. In the meantime, he's still in the same situation and will be until June. That makes me sad, but I do feel renewed energy and motivation to do better at guiding Nate in how to behave and react.

We haven't spoken about all of this with Nate, yet. Once things are more solidified, we will. I think he will think it's a good idea.

Clippers game

A couple of weeks ago, we took the boys to a Clippers basketball game; it was Levi's first.

Jon and I used to go quite a bit before we had the kids and he would get partial season tickets. 

Levi loved the game and was interested the whole time--which is impressive!

School and when to step in

I am really happy with the kids' school... for Lucy and for Levi. Lucy loves pretty much everything about 1st grade, and I love her teacher. Levi has adjusted well to his first year of kindergarten. For Nate, I am leaning toward unhappy. His class, unlike any other class I've been in/seen at school, is out of control. The boys especially are raucous, disrespectful, and defiant. I've gone on a couple of field trips with the class and am shocked at how these boys talk to adults. I'm finding that, while Nate's teacher is incredibly nice and is a good teacher as far as the subject matter she teaches and the ideas she has, she is unassertive and has no control over the class.

Most of these boys are pretty mean to Nate. Nate has mentioned little things here and there, but it is actually from other moms that I hear how mean these boys are. (These are usually moms of the girls in the class, who obviously tell their moms much more about school than Nate tells me.) I'm not sure how much the teacher sees/hears and how much the boys are able to keep their comments and behaviors toward Nate out of earshot/eyesight. Even if she does hear/see some of the things, I think the class has gotten so out of control that she is beyond being able to regain it.

My dilemma has been wondering when to step in. So far, I have been pretty "hands off." I have not requested extra meetings with the teacher; I haven't contacted the moms of the biggest offenders. But from what I can tell, Nate is being targeted--daily, consistently, pointedly--by multiple boys. Other moms have definitely used the words "being bullied" to me about Nate. Of course I've talked with Nate about how he should act. I know he plays at recess with Lucy, Cami, and boys/kids from other classes, so he isn't by himself during recess. I do think he reacts meanly/negatively to the boys in his class, which probably eggs them on and might also invite more meanness.

So... Do I wait out the school year in hopes they replace the current teacher (I've heard whispers here and there that this might happen)? Do I speak to the principal? At this point, I really don't see talking to the teacher doing much good; she and I have spoken on occasion, and I don't see her being able to change anything going on in the class. Do I take Nate out of school altogether and homeschool him? Do I have him repeat 3rd grade so he could be in a different class next year (I know that's really not an option, but it has crossed my mind)? I really don't know where I stand right now! I want to keep Nate at school because I value consistency and I do like this school, but I don't want to ignore an issue that has become bigger than a "hardship he can use as a growing opportunity."

Some pictures

Our final trip to Disneyland using our annual passes:

Nate worked up the courage to go on a kids' roller coaster (Goofy's Flight School) and was so proud of himself. He went twice.

Nate's school play

Last week, Nate's class presented its play, Jumping Mouse. It was so cute! The kids memorized a lot of lines. Nate and two other girls were the narrators/story tellers, dressed as Indians.

Here is a video of a couple of minutes of the play. You can hear Nate well around 0:40.

Quick update

I've seen some general improvement in Nate the last week or two--generally happier at school, good comments from his teacher. So this week I asked him, "Do you like school a lot? Or do you like school a tiny bit? Or do you not like school at all?" He answered, "Hmm. I like school a tiny bit. Oh OK, actually I like school a lot."

Nate is 8

Happy birthday, funny, smart, enthusiastic biggish kid. :)

School update - Nate

Hey there! A lot has been going on in the school realm around here. Lucy is doing well and is officially headed to 1st grade in the fall. Nate is doing OK--not great. The reasons for that are twofold: 1) he feels he doesn't fit in and hasn't made friends and 2) he gets easily frustrated with the work they do that is hard for him.

Regarding friendships, Jon and I are seeing Nate struggle in this area because other kids aren't necessarily always being kind but ALSO (and maybe more frequently) because Nate either misinterprets/exaggerates what someone says (e.g., someone tells him to stop doing something and now he thinks that person doesn't like him) or because he is not being thoughtful/kind. He still needs to learn how to be a friend. We're talking about it, but talking and doing are two very different things!

The work in class he is getting frustrated with are the things I knew wouldn't be his favorite: form drawing (art and handwriting related) and music (they are playing the wood flute this year). They aren't his favorites not because of what they are but because they are difficult for him. He wasn't at this school in 1st grade to start learning form drawing, so he started the year at a disadvantage. And the fine motor skills required to cover the holes on the wood flute are frustrating for him, and I think he just gives up. He doesn't want to do anything hard.

Jon and I met with Nate's teacher, Miss Torrey, this week at her request. She showed us some of his work and said generally, he is doing well. His spelling, math, etc. skills are on par. He is a great reader, of course. The more artistic things are improving. But, sweet thing, she said at the beginning of the year Nate was such a light--so enthusiastic and happy. And recently she says he hasn't been that way and seems unhappy at school. :( She was spot on. Jon and I said it's because of the friendships thing and the frustration/not wanting to try with some of the work. But he is still generally a happy kid and doesn't "fight" going to school in the mornings. It's sad to think he's unhappy, BUT I think it will be a life lesson for him if he can push through, learn to be a friend, and end up thriving. Miss Torrey believes he will integrate much better into class come 3rd grade. At Journey School, the children stay together in the same class, so Nate will be with all the same kids next year. Miss Torrey saw some of the children who were new in 1st grade have a hard time, but then they fit right in when 2nd grade started. We're hoping that's the case for Nate.

Update on us

I know I've been sticking with strictly photo posts lately, so I thought I'd write a better update.

House
I now feel completely settled in our home. I have a short wish list of bigger-ticket items to try to get done over the next couple of years (paint the exterior; redo our closet; have recessed lighting in living room and kitchen installed; eventually get new windows), but nearly all of the small things I'd hoped to do to help the place feel like ours again are done. I didn't want the house to be like it was when we first lived here--my tastes have changed quite a bit (I have plenty of those "what was I thinking?" moments)--I just wanted a fresh start. I love it.

Christmas and Traditions
Christmas was great. We hosted the meal for the first time. I made creamed onions, among the other dishes, but the onions were my favorite.

Christmas break was GREAT. Having a break from the everyday rush was just what we all needed.

I spent some time feeling slightly guilty for having so few family traditions. We haven't done gingerbread houses. We don't do crafts. I don't go "all out" on anything. Yes, we do the tree and we go out to view Christmas lights, but I don't make a big to-do about the tree, and I don't pack snacks and hot chocolate and put on a specially made playlist to see the lights. Then I had a miniature epiphany... I don't view my main mothering role as making my children's lives fun--or even memorable. That's right. My main role is to teach them about Christ and to train them to be independent! I should be training them to be equipped (eventually) to live without me, not to depend on me for even more. Traditions and fun things are great, too, of course but I just realized that it isn't me--and that's OK. It isn't supposed to be my main goal anyway. I thought back to my growing-up, and what I appreciate now is not necessarily the fun stuff (there was fun stuff--yes--but not obsessed-over, has-to-be-done fun stuff) but the built-in life training stuff that prepared me for being confident later in life. So there it is--a mini epiphany.

School
Jon drives Nate and Lucy to school at least three days a week now, and it is wonderful. Levi and I don't have to rush out the door, and I can focus on making sure Nate and Luce are on track. Added benefit: Lucy behaves much better for Jon re: clothing bothering her and making it to class without fussing.

Lucy doesn't have anything particular to complain about, but she generally doesn't say she loves school. I can't decide if she's just trying to be difficult or if she's truly bored.

Nate told me over Christmas break that he didn't want to go back to school because no one plays with him. :( I had gotten the impression that no one was especially nice to Nate and that he also acted pretty annoyingly toward other kids (pestering them, getting into their personal space, not keeping his hands to himself, always trying to be first). I didn't know that he was by himself every recess, though. So we talked about some strategies for him and also decided he would make an effort with Jake, one of the boys who isn't "mean." (One of the reasons he was by himself at recess was that Jake always wants to play ball and Nate didn't want to. So we decided if he wants to have a friend, he should offer to play what Jake wants. After starting school again last week, this is what Nate says he did and it worked.) I'm hopeful the rest of the school year will be positive for him.

I've spent most of a day writing bits and pieces of this update... time to publish! :)

Mispronounced

Nate, reading a Superman book aloud to himself in the back of the car: "Clark then emerged as his alter-eggo, Superman."

School: one week in

The transition to school has gone pretty well! Both kids are smiling and talking about the fun they had when I pick them up.

The hardest part so far is the mornings with Lucy--specifically, the 50 feet between the school parking lot and her class, which should take less than a minute but inevitably takes much longer (one day about 25 minutes). She has a rough time with her shoes and socks (required at school), even though she need only wear them between the car and class, since they take them off in class. And yes, you read that right--one day it took 25 minutes, between tantrums in the car, tantrums in the parking lot, and tantrums on the ramp into class (and she still wasn't late--I've been arriving early since I know the meltdowns are coming). I'm pretty sure every parent and every administrator witnessed those. I was pretty close to turning around and taking her home, but then I would be stuck with her! I know that sounds bad, but she has fun in class and does well in class, and then I get a break--from the tantrums and screaming and battles. Last night before bed, we were talking about how much she screamed in the car yesterday on the way to school, and I asked if she has tantrums like that in her class. "No," she said. "I am good for my teachers. I try extra to be good for them." So I asked, "Why don't you try extra to be good for me, too, then?" She answered, "I can't." Hmm... we'll have to talk more about that one.

Nate has had nice things to say about his teacher and the other kids in his class. He loves recess best (they get two) and has been excited about the foods I'm sending in his snack and lunch. He's adjusting well!

Levi is getting used to the quieter house, especially since we still have plenty of out-of-the-house meetings, park dates, and errands to keep us busy.

First day of school

We had a great morning!

Truth be told, I teared up when Nate walked into his class. I was glad he didn't even pause to look back, though!

Lucy had a little bit of a hard time walking from the car to her class because of her shoes (there was a 10-minute delay while she took them off and put them back on a couple of times. I arrived early for this reason), so I actually didn't feel too misty-eyed when she went into her class successfully. :) Here she is with one of her new friends she met at the kindergarten park playdate last week:

And now it's just this guy and me.

We went to the school's opening ceremony together, which was for 1st through 8th graders (so we saw Nate).

Then he asked me to take this picture of him.

Now we're home and it's pretty quiet!

Back to School Party 2012

This year's party (our first) is actually called the Night Before School Party, since we aren't really going "back" to school but starting it for the first time. I wanted to make it special and fun for the kids so we can start a fun tradition that is pretty simple for me to accomplish (dinner? already do that anyway. dessert? not too hard. invitations and decorations? simple to print out and blow up.).

I bought a small gift for each child as a surprise waiting for them at the dinner table. Nate got a mini Simon game. Lucy got three new puzzles--something she has been asking for. Levi got a car.

At dinner, we took time to say what we love about each child, and Nate and Lucy also told us what they're most looking forward to at school. I told Nate I love that he is a leader and that he is a good singer even if he doesn't like to sing. :) I told Lucy I love that she is compassionate and that she loves to color. I told Levi I love that he is affectionate. Nate said he is most looking forward to playing with friends at school. Lucy said she is most looking forward to coloring.

School

As I mentioned briefly, Lucy got into Journey School! We got the call a couple of weeks ago that she'd moved up the waiting list from number 10 all the way into the class. That means that Nate is now number 1 on the 2nd grade waiting list.

Lucy and I went to a brief meeting with several of the kindergarten teachers. They asked me about Lucy's temperament, eating and sleeping habits, likes and dislikes, etc. They do this for all the children and take the information into account when dividing the classes; they try to balance the classrooms this way. I'll be very interested to see if Lucy's "home personality" comes out in the classroom. Although the teachers exchanged smiles remembering other "shy in public, crazy at home" students who reveal their "home personalities" by October or November, I tend to think that won't happen with Lucy. I think she'll save up all her tantrums and craziness for the car ride home from school each day. :)

One of the reasons I didn't post right away with the good news about making it into the school is that I've been struggling with some indecision. I do believe this is a good decision for us, but I can't help feeling guilty for giving up on homeschooling. And there are some things that are so nice about homeschooling that I know we'll miss. (For example, we've gone to the pool several times in the past couple of weeks by 11:00 or 12:00--when the kids would normally still have several hours of school left. Another "nice about homeschooling thing" we'll miss is the flexibility, especially with travel: my sister Lucy is getting married in September--yay!!!!--and homeschooling would have meant we could travel to Virginia for however long we needed/wanted. Being in Journey School will mean the children will have to go to VA for the shortest trip possible.) So, like I said, I'm still wavering. I don't think I want to homeschool; I'm just mourning the loss of the great things about it. (I think.)   :)

Nate is 7

Happy birthday, wonderful boy! Nate is 7 today and is turning into a "big kid." He has matured and grown up a lot in the last few months.

He is so sweet and excited when opening his presents and always thanks the giver. One of the things I love most about him is his enthusiasm! Nate is also smart, happy, and responsible. We love you, Nate!

Rite of passage

Nate got to go to his first Clippers game last night. Jon said Nate was scared when they arrived because the lights were off and it was loud for the player introductions, but by the end of the 1st quarter he was really enjoying himself.