Video equality

Levi was featured yesterday, so here are Nate and Luce:

Nate the amazing reader:



And the only recent video I have of Lucy:

IEP

Nate's annual IEP meeting was yesterday at school. This is a very important meeting to determine Nate's placement for the next year. My hopes were that Nate would get some "typical peer" exposure. My expectations were that the school was going to propose Nate stay in his current placement.

Nate's area of need now is social development, but how is he going to get that if he's the highest functioning in his class and only around children who don't speak or speak atypically? In addition, I've seen Nate start to bring home some negative behaviors. I know he isn't perfect, but I do think if he's going to pick things up from his peers, they would hopefully be "normal kid" things.

After reading over Nate's recent assessments and the proposed goals for him in this next year as a group, the district representative made their offer of placement. I was beyond thrilled; it was exactly what I would have asked for if I had been able to create a "perfect plan" for Nate! Starting in May, Nate will do his normal day at school (first half in non-severe Special Day Class, second half in IBI), but he will leave IBI for one hour to go into the regular preschool, Preschool Connections. An IBI staffer will go with Nate (and possibly one or two other children), but that staffer will help with all the kids in the class and won't be velcroed to Nate. So that person won't be his aide; however, he/she will know Nate's goals and areas of need. After a month or two with this setup, we will probably increase the time Nate is in the regular preschool. Then, by late September/October, he will be in the regular preschool full-time, with probably an hour a day in IBI to work specifically on Nate's goals and kind of as a daily check-in. I'm super excited!

The goals for the next year include maintaining appropriate physical proximity when engaged in conversation or play (i.e., respect personal space); greeting others once and waiting for a response (not repeating the greeting over and over); maintaining a reciprocal conversation (asking questions and waiting for answers); accepting not getting his own way or not getting to be first for an activity; sustaining attention to complete a 10-minute, non-preferred task; skipping; raising his hand and waiting to be called on; cutting better with scissors; and drawing more simple shapes.

Nate will go for the extended school year (school through July) and will have August off, like last year. I signed him up to take the bus in the mornings starting at the end of June!

All in all, it was a wonderful meeting, and I left smiling!

Language development

I've been fascinated with the children's language development lately. It's so cute to watch Lucy as she soaks in tons of knowledge each day. She just got over a stage where she knew she wanted to create possessives when speaking, but she couldn't get it quite right. Instead of "Lucy's cup," she would say, "Lucy cups." Instead of "Nate's room," it was "Nate rooms." She just started getting it right in the last week or two. She also used both "it" and the object in a sentence: "Where is it, cup?" or today: "Cami bonked it head."

Nate is speaking very well. It's fun to watch him make "correct mistakes." That is, he has internalized a certain "rule" for language, but he doesn't know all the weird exceptions to the rule in English. For example, the other day he wanted me to put the deck of cards down so he could deal, but he wanted me to do it like Daddy did: "No Mama, don't do it softly. Do it hardly."

Nate's neuro appointment today

The appointment today went very well! I went in with expectations on the low side since I'm not extremely impressed with this doctor's view of biomedical treatments or with how much she talks (a ton). (This isn't the actual neurologist but the nurse practitioner, Teri, who follows all of the neurologist's original diagnosis patients.) She spent some time talking with us and observing Nate. Although she didn't officially redo the CARS test (bummer), she did have some great things to say about Nate.

• She thinks he would be OK placed in a "regular" preschool.


• She says she can just "hear" autism when a child with autism speaks--something in the inflection, the stilted meter, the way the child speaks; she can't hear it in Nate. She used the words "best I've ever heard" about Nate's language.


• When I asked specifically if it would be beneficial for us to have an updated CARS test on Nate, she said no. Then she said, "If I did the test again on him now, there is a high likelihood he would not place on the autism spectrum at all. Perhaps I could find some tiny thing here or there to put him on the spectrum, but I really don't think so." This was awesome! So although we didn't get a new CARS number, we essentially got the neurologist nurse practitioner to say that Nate probably wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis.

The subject of one-to-one aides also came up, when I said I thought maybe the school could place Nate in a "regular" preschool class this next year with an aide. Teri gave us her opinion of aides in general (a negative one), which was good to hear. Perhaps I don't want an aide for Nate. Teri's opinion was that parents use aides as a crutch in order not to let their children possibly fail or flounder on their own; in addition, aides aren't properly trained.

All in all, the NP was very impressed with Nate and his progress. She also had some nice things to say to/about us as parents and how we interact with him. I left the appointment feeling energized, excited, and proud of our awesome little boy!

Big brother

What a sweet brother Nate is to Levi. If Levi makes any noise, Nate asks, "What's wrong, baby Levi?" He loves introducing him as "my baby Levi" at school to teachers and other kids. When Levi is lying swaddled on the couch, Nate has gone up to him several times and told him a Bible story (video at the bottom; it might be hard to hear, but it's part of the Adam and Eve story and includes Romans 3:23 and John 3:16). Up until tonight, Nate has asked to hold Levi quite a few times but always gives him back after just 2 or 3 seconds. Tonight, he held him for a while and was very proud (I added the second picture to show Lucy being silly):

Smart son

I figure it's OK to brag on my own blog, right? Here is Nate reading. This doesn't even do justice to the amazing things he can do already with letters and words.

Note home from Nate's teacher yesterday:

"Nate is such a joy! Today he was teaching all the children the months of the year... Miss Ann and I said, 'Maybe we aren't needed--we have Nate to teach.' :) It was adorable."

Getting more sleep

I remember the story of Mama and Daddy getting a digital clock for Greg when he was a boy so that he would stop coming out of his room so early in the morning. They told him, "You may come out when the first number is 7." In Greg's effort to obey, things didn't go quite like my parents had expected. He would come into their room at 6:27, or 5:57, or 6:17, etc. This ended up being one of my mom's first indications that Greg might be left-handed. (Years later, when he learned to write, he wrote in mirror image--backward letters and from right to left--crazy!)

A couple of weeks ago, we got a small digital clock for Nate's room. We told him he should stay in his room in the mornings until 6-zero-zero. (Back story: Nate gets up capital-E Early. Most of it is from the various supplements he is on, many of which indicate hyperactivity and/or change in sleep patterns as a side effect. He had made a habit of coming into our room in the mornings some time between 4:30 and 5:30, sometimes going back to sleep and sometimes not.) The first few nights, we reminded him about the 6:00 rule, but we didn't do a great job of enforcing it (how much willpower do YOU have in the middle of the night?), but we kept reminding him about the new rule. On about night 3, it happened. I heard Nate open his door at about 6:02. He came down to our room and said, "Daddy, I stayed in my room until six zero zero!" We made a big deal about it for him, and he was so proud. Since then, he has done a decent job of giving us a bit more sleep! This morning, when I came upstairs, he was sitting in his room in the recliner, with the light on, reading the pages in his children's picture Bible. So cute!

What's going on with us

I've been missing from the blog lately, I know! I haven't felt inspired with anything smart to say. :) Here's what we've been up to... Went to another pool/water park last week (Nate was scared of a big bucket that tipped and created a huge waterfall every few minutes, but once he got used to that, he loved this new place). We also went to a TACA "Pump It Up" night last Wednesday; Jon was able to meet us after work and Nate loved it (it was at a warehouse filled with several huge bounce house/slide contraptions for the kids to climb and jump in). We've also had several playdates, including a fun one today at a park that was new to Nate. The kids have also loved the couple of times we've done a Trader Joes/Chik-fil-a day. Nate can have the fries at Chik-fil-a, so it's a special treat. On Saturday we drove up to Brea to see our friends Phil and Katrina's new house--it is beautiful!!! (Katrina was my college roommate.)



Nate's month of summer has been good and bad. It has been fun for him to get to have some fun-only weeks without commitments. However, I think it has also been a little disorienting to him; he enjoys and is comforted by routine, schedule. Now, with no real schedule of going to school every day, he asks me several times a day what we are doing tomorrow, what we are doing after nap time, etc. He is trying to organize things in his head, I think.

I'm 23 weeks pregnant now. The new development this week has been the baby's exercises at precisely 10:30 every night. He must think I'm a punching bag... He will kick really quickly 10 or more times in a row--too funny. At least it doesn't hurt.

Tomorrow I have an AWANA directors meeting, which means fall ministries are just around the corner... already!!!

Made it

We made it home in one piece yesterday. In fact, the travel day was actually relatively easy. Our first flight left Virginia at 6:20 a.m. (meaning we got up before 5:00, which was 2:00 a.m. west coast time), but the kids did great being woken up a little early. Nate was actually especially talkative on the way to the airport, making sure to give a running commentary: "There's a stop sign! We're going to the airport! I'm yawning!" It seems that Nate is now officially pretty easy to travel with. We think, though, that Lucy's ears really bother her on planes, because she got really agitated during every descent.

I accidentally left our camera's battery charger at my parents' house, so I haven't been able to upload all of our pictures. I'll put some on soon.

I wasn't sure whether Nate would go to school or not today, since we just got back yesterday and everyone's tired. But he was so excited to go, so I took him. I love that he loves school. :)

Today

My friend Casey watched Lucy for me this morning while I went to school with Nate and helped in his morning class (SDC) from 8:30 to 10:45. Let's just say I wish I'd had time for some coffee first! :) It was fun seeing Nate in his element. Today was his turn to count the days/numbers on the class calendar, pointing with a little paintbrush stick, and that was very cute. He is getting to know all of the songs they sing and adjusting to their daily schedule. One of the boys in there, in particular, is very verbal, seems to have no behaviors, and is about 4 and a 1/2 (and also extremely cute), and I was glad to see that Nate is seated next to him in circle time (don't know if it's always that way or not). It was a fun morning.

School and... work?

Nate has been going to school every day this week, and it is going well so far. I picked him up early (12:00) on Monday and Tuesday, but today I'm letting him stay the full time, 8:30-1:30. I think that timing will be an adjustment (a long day for him), but I also think he's having a good time. When I picked him up yesterday, he announced that he had cut with scissors and played soccer (that is some pretty good spontaneous language for him). He also, of course, loves recess.

I also have another update that I've been meaning to write about, but it happened so quickly that I never got a chance. Jon's company works with a graphics design studio in Long Beach, and he mentioned to them that I do freelance editing. They immediately asked for my resume and scheduled an interview within a couple of days. I went up there, interviewed and took a proofreading test, and they offered me a part-time, work-from-home job a couple of days later. So I'm now going to be doing about 10 hours/week of editing/proofreading, mostly from home. (I went in a few half days this week to train, coordinating childcare with family members, but the company, Vision Design Studio, knows I won't be coming into the office more than once a month for a half day.) It's just cool to be able to do something I love (editing) from home that won't take away from being a mom.

First day

I wish I had thought to bring the camera this morning for Nate's first day of "big boy school." I dropped him off at 8:30 with his new teacher, and he seemed excited/curious about what was going on--no tears. I must admit, though, that I got a little teary watching him walk away while holding hands with another little boy on one side and his teacher on the other. I hope he's having fun!

Nate

Yesterday, I brought all the paperwork to La Tierra to register Nate. To my surprise, they put up absolutely no fuss about his not having any immunizations after 18 months. I had brought a letter that included some of the state law that he can't be denied entrance into the school, but I didn't have to bring it out; I just signed their exemption request. Woo hoo! He starts this Friday, May 2.

Tomorrow is his birthday! Three years old... I can barely believe it. I'm going to run by the store today to get birthday candles and the ingredients to make an easy cake (for everyone else to eat; I still have frozen leftovers of the GFCF cake for Nate).

Full IEP report

Is it really Thursday already? I meant to write an update yesterday about the IEP meeting, but I spent all of my computer time listening to our recording of the meeting and writing detailed notes. I'm going to send those notes to the school district so they can include them on the IEP as an addendum.

The meeting and all in attendance were very pleasant. Afterwards, I wished I would have been a little stronger in resisting their putting Nate in the IBI tutoring, but I realized too that he probably still will do well in there, and if he doesn't, we can call another meeting.

Here are just some of my notes (with additional comments in grey). This is long, and it isn't even everything!

- We went over the few minor changes necessary in the assessments (just factual).

- Next, we went over the proposed goals:

• Occupational therapy (vestibular, grasping/drawing, tactile)
  Will use gluten-free products
• Speech/language
  Answering a variety of “wh” questions/functional language
  I asked about a goal for reducing Nate’s echolalia. The SLP said they usually don’t write a specific goal for that--usually it’s an elimination process because the child is comprehending more, and the echolalia decreases on its own.
• Cognitive skills and pre-academic
  The psychologist noted that these skills are on par for Nate’s age expectancy; she wrote goals to keep him moving along.
• Adaptive physical education
  Nate doesn't qualify for individual services for APE, but we included two related goals--using the pedals on a tricycle and learning playground games like red light green light.
• Social goals (initiating play, increase play repertoire)
• Other goal parents brought up but that was not included:
  Self-monitoring of his special diet. Psychologist and speech and language pathologist noted it was particularly difficult to write any sort of goal for this, especially because there aren’t any natural opportunities for choosing different foods at school besides what the child brings.

- Offer of program and parent response

• Special day class 8:30-10:45 five days/week
• IBI tutoring 10:45-1:30 five days/week
  I noted that the we loved the SDC—the kids were talking to each other, interacting (things Nate needs to work on), and we liked the teacher. I noted that the IBI setting did not seem this way. The kids were not interacting, and there were many more apparent behaviors. I asked, “How is he going to work on talking with other kids if the other kids don’t talk?” The district preschool program specialist answered that the SDC feels natural, much like a typical preschool; she said the IBI clinic feels more sterile and is run a little differently—it’s highly structured and they’re really focusing on goals and objectives. She said that, because it is structured with so much adult support, kids really are able to make progress toward goals, especially abstract, social skills. (Hmmm, did this really answer my question? No!)
  She continued by saying that IBI is an autism-specific class, so the kids in there do have language delays and difficulty with socialization. (She was saying this means they really do focus on the language and socialization in there, but in my mind I'm thinking, "Exactly! They have problems with those things! So how will Nate be able to interact with them?")
  The psychologist noted that the IBI tutoring we observed was the 4-year-olds class, but that the 3-year-olds IBI tutoring class has a "different ambience." I asked, then, if Nate were to meet this year’s goals, would he not be in the 4-year-old IBI? She answered that most kids do continue in the IBI—just his goals would be changing. (Another answer I didn't like. If she was confirming that I shouldn't have been comfortable with how bad the 4-year-old IBI looked, then why would it be good for Nate to be in there when he is 4?)
  The psych mentioned the mock Kindergarten program and other opportunities for inclusion and socialization/peer interaction for when kids turn 4. I asked would Nate be able to be in that mock K if he accomplishes these goals, or would we need to add more goals in order for him to be in the mock K? The psych answered that that is the goal; the SLP confirmed it is what we would anticipate, and the psych said that he is on target toward it. Jon and I noted that the mock K is what we want to shoot for.
  I said that our main concern with Nate and the IBI is that his trouble is interacting not with other children with autism but interacting with typical peers, so we are hoping for as much exposure as possible to those typical peers that is appropriate. This is the area we see him struggling the most. The SLP responded that the theory is to teach them in the smaller group so he can gain the skills, even if it’s rote, and he can generalize to the special day class. More practice, less intensive teaching. (Overall, I am not happy with their responses to my questions about typical peer exposure, since they just talked around the issue and didn't really address our concerns.)
• Group speech 15 minutes/week (this is basically nothing)
• Occupational therapy direct service 30 minutes/week
• Occupational therapy group 2x/month (with class)
  

- We talked about a transition plan; Nate will go at least the first few days (or week, or as long as I think it's needed) from 8:30-12:00 instead of all the way to 1:30. This means he'll be in the special day class until 10:45, then do lunch with the IBI class, then do recess, which ends at 12:00.

- We also discussed extended school year. Nate will attend the summer program, which ends July 25, but he will not have services in August. I pushed on this one for a while, but the only group-type program they have in August is for severely impaired children, so that wouldn't work for Nate.

Once I turn in our signed IEP and the registration packet, Nate will be starting next Friday, May 2!

IEP

We had the meeting today, and it went very well. I'm feeling sick right now (caught a really sore throat/stuffy nose/headache thing), so I'll write details soon!

Diet update

I was just reading through old posts and found the one about starting Nate on the GFCF diet. I wrote about how he had a meltdown when everyone else had pizza and he couldn't have any. That got me thinking about how extremely well he is doing with the diet now but that I haven't written about it here. When Nate wants to eat something in particular, but I say, "I'm sorry, but you can't have that. It has gluten [and/or casein] in it," he now responds by saying, "Gluten casein hurt the tummy." Then he moves on, not begging for the food or getting upset that he can't have it. If we are out and Lucy has pizza, he simply points out that it is Lucy's pizza, but he doesn't ask for any. He is starting to recognize which common items, like breads, crackers, and cookies, have gluten. It is so nice that he has become so compliant and go-with-the-flow in this area. I think part of it is that all the gluten and casein (and soy) are out of his system, so 1) his body doesn't have those addictions anymore and 2) he forgets what the foods taste like (and that he loved them so much).

This diet has been the best change we could have made for Nate.

Potty training update

I am extremely surprised at how potty training has turned into a non-issue. After the first three or four days, once I finally figured out what worked for Nate, it just turned into the new normal. I had to figure out that "making" him go every half hour, hour, or whatever didn't work because he doesn't like being told what to do. (OK, most children don't, and I do still tell Nate what to do, but in this situation it was just making him upset and wasn't getting the goal accomplished.) Here is what worked for him:

• Going without pants for a few days helped him figure out the feeling of needing to go.
• Once he figured out that feeling, he usually ran to the bathroom by himself (I'd follow).
• No rewards have been needed except for lots of praise.
• I figured out he can "hold it" for quite a long time (at least a couple of hours), so I don't need to prompt him very often to go--usually just before we leave for somewhere and after we get home.
• When he is in others' care (like in the nursery or at therapy), I tell the caregivers to ask him every once in a while if he needs to go. This seems to work fine, since he still has not quite gotten that he needs to tell someone before he goes.

He is now waking up dry after naps and in the mornings (I'm telling you--total non-issue!), though I still haven't braved putting just underwear on him overnight. :)

Classroom observation

Jon and I went to La Tierra this morning to observe the possible placements for Nate. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the special day class. The class size was good (about 8 children to one teacher with one assistant), and I saw no behaviors, acting out, or stimming going on. Some of the kids were talking to each other and interacting. I think Nate would do well in there. The small group IBI setting (where they have stations set up with two to three children per therapist and they supposedly work very specifically on each child's goals) wasn't as pleasing, though: it was a bit chaotic feeling in there, the children seemed to have more issues, and the therapists weren't interacting very well with the kids. I'll have to think more about that one.

After having gone today, I am actually less sure about what I'd like to ask for for Nate. Before, when I thought the SDC was going to be full of lower functioning kids, I was against it. Now, when I see that it has some good components, I'm not sure.

Observation

Two people from the school district went to Cornerstone this morning to observe Nate as part of the district's assessments of him. They attended Group for the first hour or so and saw Nate in the song time and in the first small group session, where he had speech today. I was not there, as Grampy drove Nate to therapy this morning, but I got a full report from Will.

I had been a little concerned that the observers (the school psychologist and the speech/language pathologist who originally evaluated Nate) were going to be observing him on a Friday, because 1) he is often tired by the end of the week and seems to pay less attention at Group and 2) his shadow on Fridays isn't Will; it's someone else who doesn't do a very good job of redirecting Nate if he gets distracted or whatever. However, Will said that Nate did an awesome job--he sang all the songs (sometimes on Fridays he zones out/stops singing by the end of song time, which is about 25 minutes), answered all the questions the song leader called out, raised his hand to volunteer for things, and participated very well. Will said the observers asked him (Will) a few questions, and they asked something like, "How are we even going to come up with areas for improvement for him?"

It sounds like a great morning. I'm hopeful it will add some ammunition to my argument that Nate shouldn't be put in the special day class.