Back to normal

This week is a bit back to normal now that we can go outside without getting covered in ash. The fires are mostly contained, and we're praying the winds don't pick up again.

Nate had another evaluation at Cornerstone, and they recommended he keep the same number of hours but instead of doing in-home ABA on Mondays, he would do what they call "group" on Mondays and Wednesdays. Group is a lot like preschool: there are several children (4-5 I think) together, and they sit together, sing songs, do obstacle courses, raise their hands to volunteer or ask questions, etc. It sounds really cute and perfect for Nate. We'll see if Regional Center approves it.

I'm off to eat lunch while the children nap!

Oh, and here we are as Clark Kent and Lois Lane for a party we went to this weekend:



Edited to add more pictures:

Nateism

For a long time, I've looked forward to the day I could start posting about cute things my children said. Kids really do say the darndest things, and it is a special joy for me that Nate is starting to be one of those kids! Tonight after Bible study (where a babysitter watches the 8-10 kids at the house next door), as we were driving away, Nate said goodbye using a word we've never formally taught him: "Bye bye, children!"

In the works

This week I've been making more calls for the next steps in Nate's treatment. I've been looking for a DAN! (Defeat Autism Now) doctor. These are doctors (sometimes pediatricians, sometimes internists, sometimes other M.D.s, sometimes more "holistic" doctors) who usually have been to one or more DAN! conferences and believe in treating autism biomedically (enzymes, diet changes, supplementation, toxin removal, more) in addition to traditional therapies. I want to start taking Nate to one because some of the next things I want to try should be medically supervised (like if he needs treatment for yeast overgrowth, which often requires prescribed medicine).

The first and most prominent place I called is so full it is not taking new patients and apparently is not even using a waiting list (the girl on the phone was pretty rude, even when I read out loud to her an e-mail I'd received from one of the doctors there). However, another place I called sounds much more promising: the receptionist spent a good 15 minutes on the phone with me describing the doctor and her work, which includes a 2-hour initial appointment. The receptionist said about 30-40% of this doctor's work is with autism, which I like since some of the other places I looked at made little or no mention of autism. In addition, this doctor holds an open-to-the-public session one evening a month, so we could go talk to her and meet her without committing to a large first appointment fee.

This week we also went to get Nate's blood drawn for a second time. We'll have to go back to the lab for a third draw since the amount of blood needed for all the tests the neurologist wants run is too much to draw at one or even two times. Most of the tests are measuring things I don't understand unless I look them up: DNA for Fragile X, carnitine levels, quantitative plasma amino acids, acylcarnitine profile, and quite a few more. There will also be results for levels of lead, lactate, and ammonia in the blood. Whatever doctor we end up going to will no doubt use these results (and maybe more) in determining what we'll try next.

More on motherhood: being appreciated

I often depend on my husband to validate me, to make me feel appreciated, to tell me I'm a good wife and mother. He is good at doing that and does it often; however, I realize that it shouldn't be my motivation, that it isn't what dictates whether I actually am doing a "good job."

Amy from Amy's Humble Musings echoes these thoughts:

For many years, I walked around waiting for someone to notice my sacrifice and hoped for some grand acknowledgment on Mother’s Day. (I admit it.) One day I realized that my obedience is better than feeling appreciated. And this is the secret of the Christian’s life--everything is an offering for Christ. What we do for little ones, we do for Christ.

Aha!

God knows women desire appreciation and to be noticed. The Proverbs 31 woman, who seems to "do it all," is appreciated. A highlight of that chapter for me is verses 28-29:

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”

I do desire for my children and husband to appreciate me, and I don't believe that is wrong. However, verse 30 should be my focus:

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

It is the woman who does all of this work for Him who deserves the praise!

And happy birthday, Lucy M!

Miscellanies

Fires
Many of you have probably seen news coverage on the southern CA wildfires. The Malibu fire destroyed Malibu Presbyterian Church, where I went when I attended Pepperdine. It also destroyed a really neat castle we used to drive by and wonder about.

The air at our house has an eerie brownish tinge to it, and the smoke/ash smell is really strong. The closest fire to our house is still not very close, but having it be in our city does make the fact that people are losing their homes more real.

All of this is to say we're OK, and please pray with us for those affected!

Something new
I've been using my current purse since early high school. It is still in decent shape (which is certainly a testament to the sturdiness of this brand, The Sak), but I've been finding myself feeling a little embarrassed by it because it is so out of style. I have a couple of other bags, but they aren't everyday bags because they have lots of colors or are too fancy or too small. This past week, I used some of my flute lesson money to get myself a new bag. It came today and I LOVE it! It's a Harvey's seatbelt bag. Ricci had (still has?) one and I've always admired it.

I'll try to post a pic of my new bag later!

Cute kids
Here are Nate and Lucy after her nap today. I love these kids!

Language

Nate is saying a LOT! He repeats almost anything I say now, often with correct pronunciation. I hope to catch him on film saying some of the especially cute things, like "Cool," "Exercise," "Good morning," "Okay" (pronounced "Otay" of course), "Hi baby girl," and "Ohhh, nice" (he says that one after he gives someone an unpromted kiss, I think because I often say, "Oh, that's so nice" when he kisses Lucy). We also got his PECS book this week, and we've been using it. He finds the picture of what he wants, places it on the velcro strip next to the "I want" picture, and brings me the strip. Then he says, "I want _____" (cereal, bubbles, whatever). The key here is that he must bring me the strip and communicate with me, not go to what he wants and miss the communication thing (example: running to the fridge and saying "milk" even though I'm in the other room).

Go Nate!

I caught some of the words today:

Busyness

We are into the fall season, and it feels especially busy this year. We have therapy 4 days a week, MOPS (a fun commitment!), AWANA, flute lessons, and of course the normal day-to-day stuff. Now that I look at it, that little list doesn't seem like much... but it is! We don't have any commitments on Fridays, so I always let out a big exhale when we make it to Thursday afternoon. I don't want to get through each day just barely holding on, but some weeks, it feels that way!

Other notes: Nate and Lucy had their first sibling bath together on Monday evening. I was giving Lucy a bath, and Nate wanted to get in. It was cute.

Ricci and I took the kids to the pumpkin patch yesterday. A couple of school groups were there, so it was really crowded, but the kids still had a fun time.

Miles & Nate


Eli


Lucy in the sling

Sweet kids

Nostalgia

The picture I have in the post below of Nate playing with Jon on the couch reminded me of a picture of him from the day he turned one.



My baby certainly isn't a baby anymore! :)

Pics

We've definitely been missing my mom since she left a week ago. Here are some pictures for you, Mama, and one picture of the bathroom too! :)

Vaccines: some things I've been learning

There are those in the autism community who believe certain vaccines like the MMR caused their children's autism. I am not one of those. Nate's was not a regressive case, where he was "fine" and then, one day soon after a shot, lost skills, language, etc. Looking back, we can see signs all along in Nate's development. However, I agree with the experts (like in the book I'm currently reading, Changing the Course of Autism: A Scientific Approach for Parents and Physicians) who posit that autism is not merely a genetic disorder, but a disorder perhaps involving some genetic predispositions (in the brain? gut?) that are triggered by environmental factors that affect the gut, brain, and other areas of the body. One of those environmental triggers might be some of the ingredients in vaccines.

Some studies have found that children with autism are unable to process certain metals, like mercury and/or other vaccine ingredients, properly. Their bodies hold onto these materials, sometimes to toxic levels, which can then manifest in "autistic" behaviors. I'm being as careful as possible with Lucy's vaccinations since 1) autism tends to run in families and she may also have those "genetic predispositions" and 2) I've been finding out what's in these vaccines (a lot of junk, including aluminum, formaldehyde, and human tissue!).

Lucy got her first shot, the Hib (prevents Haemophilus influenzae type b bacteria, which causes bacterial meningitis, pneumonia, and other infections) at five months. Babies' immune systems often aren't ready for shots by two months, so we gave Lucy's body more time to develop. I'm getting her vaccinations one at a time (more spread out), so she only gets one shot at each doctor's visit, as opposed to the four or more that is standard protocol*. Also, she won't get the combination shots like the MMR; instead she'll get separate measles, separate mumps, and separate rubella shots. Here's how I plan to do all of her shots (probably not exactly to this schedule, but in this order and not any sooner than the ages listed):

5 months: Hib
6 months: DTaP
7 months: second series of Hib, IPV (Polio)
8 months: DTaP
9 months: third series of Hib, IPV
10 months: DTaP
15 months: measles
17 months: fourth series of Hib, IPV
27 months: rubella
39 months: mumps**
4-5 years: boosters for the measles, rubella, and mumps** shots (if possible, though, you can check for "titers" before giving boosters and may not need to give the boosters at all)
4 years: Hepatitis B

I haven't listed the chicken pox (varicella/varivax) vaccine because I may not get it for the children at all. I may file exemptions for both Nate and Lucy for some shots. Several states, including California, allow parents to file "philosophical exemptions." This way, they can still attend any school. FYI, California's school immunization record form has space on the back for a "personal beliefs" exemption request.

The book I've gotten most of my information from is What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations by Stephanie Cave. I like that the author, a doctor, isn't completely anti-vaccine; she just gives a fuller picture about what's in each vaccine, possible side effects, how best to protect our children, etc.

* More information on why I'm spreading Lucy's vaccinations out and only getting one at a time: "Marcel Kinsbourne, M.D., a pediatric neurologist and research professor at the Center for Cognitive Studies at Tufts University, expressed his concerns about multiple dosing to the House Committee on Government Reform when he was asked to speak on the subject of vaccine safety. Dr. Kinsbourne told his audience that 'when several vaccines are given at the same time, they may have adverse effects that none of the individual vaccines have when they are given by themselves....' In addition to the added assault on the immune system when more than one vaccine is given, injecting several vaccines makes it virtually impossible to know which one is responsible for any adverse reactions that may occur" (Cave, 2001, pp. 33-34).

** I keep thinking of more stuff to add! Lucy might not get the mumps shots at all. The major threat of the mumps disease is male sterility. (In addition, the rubella disease is rather mild except in cases where a pregnant woman contracts it; it can kill the baby. So girls don't need the mumps vaccine as much as boys do, and boys don't need the rubella vaccine as much as girls do.)

Edited to add: The book I'm currently reading presents evidence that the main issue with the MMR is the measles portion, and even separated out, the measles vaccine has caused problems.

Update January 2008: I have since decided not to get any vaccinations for Lucy. She has gotten the Hib (once at 5 months and once at 9 months), so I will probably get the other two rounds of that shot for her, but nothing else right now.

Fun week

We've been having such a good week with Mama here! I have "helped" ("Yes, that looks straight") as she wallpapered our guest bathroom, and it looks amazing. I'll take a picture tonight after we put up the mirror and light fixture. She also spoke at our MOPS this morning and did a terrific job. Since Nate got his cast off yesterday (YAY!!), we will probably take the kids to the Spectrum this afternoon so he can run in the fountains.

I've been putting together a post on vaccines and hope to get it done soon.

Nate saying "thumbs up!"


More fun pictures: