Refreshed

We had a great weekend in Big Bear on the marriage retreat. Eight other couples went, including all of our closest friends, so we had a great time going out to meals, talking, hanging out in the cabin, going on walks, etc. Jon and I went on the Alpine Slide--that was fun. We also found Pine Summit, the Christian camp where he went to AWANA scholarship camp as a kid. Perhaps the best part of the weekend was sleeping all night through 'til 8:00 or 9:00 a.m. two nights in a row. Woo hoo! :)

It's the little things

My best friend is coming over today to watch the kids while I go to get my hair done. I haven't gotten it done in about 4 months (longer for a cut), which, in the world of hair color, is a long time. I'm rrrrrrreally looking forward to it!

Nice visit

We just got back an hour ago from dropping my mom off at the airport. It always feels like she hasn't stayed long enough, which I guess is a good thing. We had a great weekend, including coffee out a couple of times, a trip to the Spectrum for Nate to go in the fountains and ride the carousel (a special treat), In-n-Out and a shopping trip (with the kids, who behaved very well), a good Easter dinner at our house, and a dinner/movie out for Jon and me. We took Nate and Lucy to therapy on Monday, and Mama got to see the beginning part of Group, where Nate sings songs with the other kids (it is SO cute) before they split off into smaller groups.







Since it's such a bummer to have my mom gone, it's really nice to have something out of the ordinary to look forward to: Jon and I are going on our church's second annual couples retreat this Friday-Sunday while Nate and Lucy stay with Jon's parents. It's in Big Bear, so Jon plans on going snowboarding, and I plan on spending some nice time reading, maybe scrapbooking, and spending lots of non-snowboarding time with Jon. :)

P.S. All of the pictures on my blog are always "clickable"--click on one and you will see it full size.

Quick hello

I haven't updated the blog because my mom's here and we're having so much fun. But I wanted to write that Operation Lose the Paci has gone quite well. Nate has taken a nap every day since we got rid of the pacifier, though I have had to lie with him in his bed 'til he falls asleep, and then he hasn't slept very long, but that's OK. He woke up in a major funk that lasted well over an hour on Thursday and Friday after naps, but yesterday he was happy in less than 10 minutes. The sleep at night, what I was most worried about, has been better than it has been in weeks, maybe months. I'm serious. I can barely believe it. He is getting up at 6:00 a.m. after having not woken crying in the night. (Knock wood.)

Off for Easter dinner!

A dreaded day

Nate still uses a pacifier for nap time and overnight, and his desire to use one has gotten stronger since he started the m-B12 a couple of months ago--I've had to tell him no pacifier during the day a lot more lately. I've been noticing his teeth/bite getting much worse (you know the thumb-sucker bite I'm talking about), so that's the main reason I decided to nip the paci use in the bud.

This morning, we did it. Nate and I walked outside and gave his pacifier to the garbage man. "Give pacis to garbage man to give to other babies. No more pacis for Nate," Nate said. We had been talking about it for a week, so even though I decided it might be a terrible idea to go cold turkey, we did it anyway since I wanted to follow through with what we had been talking about. Nate said no and held onto the pacifier when he realized he was really going to have to hand it over, but I urged him once and he gave it to the man (who probably thought we were crazy).

So that was 5 hours ago, and we are just about to enter nap territory. Pray for me if you read this! :)

P.S. One of the reasons I thought to do this today is that my mom is coming into town tonight (yay!). She can help me keep him busy in the next few days to keep his mind off of the pacifier.

1:30 p.m. update: I can barely believe it, but he is asleep for his nap. There were some tears (about 20-30 minutes), but then I laid down with him in his bed until he fell asleep--about 20 more minutes. I can handle doing that for a few days. I'm more worried about overnight, though, as I know he wakes early in the morning (2:00-3:00 a.m.), finds his paci, and goes back to sleep (I hear him in the monitor). I'll update! :)

Assessments update (I'm long-winded!)

Nate's assessments at the school district went very well yesterday, and some other interesting things occurred too! First, he had the speech/psych eval with the school psychologist and a speech/language pathologist (SLP). Then, he had an occupational therapy eval, followed by a break when I took him to In-n-Out. Then we went back for his adaptive physical education eval. The interesting stuff happened in the speech/psych assessment, so I'll write about that since he did well in the OT and very well in the APE assessments (followed direction very well, could do all of the physical activities the APE evaluator wanted him to).

During most of the speech/psychology assessment, I sat outside of the cubicle where Nate was with the assessors, but I could see them through a window and hear them too. (I was filling out a comprehensive behavioral inventory of Nate.) He did so well, and it was so fun to watch/listen to him when he didn't know I could. He was compliant and so smart, showing he knows all of his letters and numbers and can do many of the cognitive exercises they had him do (e.g., look at four pictures, like a pair of pants, a shirt, a pair of shoes, and a lamp, and decide which object doesn't belong). He repeated 40 or 50 words after the SLP as she checked his pronunciation, and he did some very basic pretend play with toy animals. He also performed consistent with his normal capabilities, meaning he misused pronouns like he normally does, he showed a lack of imaginary/creative play skills, and he exhibited his slight echolalia.

Toward the end of their assessment, I finished with my paperwork and went into the cubicle with them. They had some good things to say about Nate (isn't it so nice when others think your child is cute?), and the psych asked me what some goals I have for Nate are. I wasn't expecting the question, so I wasn't completely prepared, but I mentioned a few (and then I e-mailed her later in the day with the ones I had written down at home; see * at end of post for that list) and said that they are mostly social in nature (like interaction and conversation with peers), since he is doing well in most other areas.

Then, and this is getting to the interesting part, the psychologist told me that they will probably offer a placement where he is in their "Special Day Class" half the day and then in a small group Intensive Behavioral Intervention (IBI) setting (2 to 4 kids with a therapist; this is just like ABA) the other half. This is interesting because, according to all the special ed law I've been learning, no program is supposed to be put together for Nate until the IEP meeting (next month), and they aren't supposed to try to fit him into their current programs but tailor one to him. So, essentially, this woman had already decided how to fit Nate into what they "usually" do by just spending a hour with him, not even reading the parent's behavioral inventory or considering what was most appropriate for him. At this point, I did not make any mention of my knowledge, as I consider it an advantage to know what they are planning to "offer," so I can decide how to prepare for the IEP to ask for what we want for Nate.

I asked what the Special Day Class (SDC) looks like. The psych said it is comprised of kids with "mild to moderate" disabilities, and not just autism. This does not sound good for Nate, seeing as he is now on the "mild" end, and how is he going to improve his social skills if he is surrounded by other children who also don't talk to each other? Anyway, thinking about this, I asked what the possibilities are of a half day in the regular preschool with a 1:1 aide (and the other half of the day in the small group IBI, which I think is a good idea for Nate). The psych pretty much said no. "We usually do that when the kids are closer to 4," she said. (Again, another violation of law, as what they "usually" do doesn't matter; it's what is appropriate for this particular child. It's also supposed to be what is the least restrictive environment for this child, meaning the most exposure to typically developing peers.) "The placement in the SDC for Nate," she said, "is at the highest end of the spectrum of where we place kids. He needs the SDC first to develop the functional skills to be able to go into the regular preschool." I disagree. How is the SDC going to give him the skills to talk to typical kids?

I scheduled a date with the school to observe the SDC and the IBI setting. I'll go to the school a week before Nate's IEP (which is April 22) and sit in on both settings. However, I saw the kids in the SDC while we were doing Nate's APE assessment outside during their recess, and I already don't think he would thrive in there. All of these kids were walking around on their own, not talking to each other, some exhibiting moderate behaviors/stims.

I asked Nate's ABA supervisor at Cornerstone today what she thought. She said she agreed with me that the SDC isn't a good idea for Nate, so I asked her to come to the IEP meeting with us, and she said yes. It will be nice to have her there as a professional who knows the terminology and can back me up on what I want for Nate, especially since she has known him for over a year, and these evaluators have known him for less than a day.

So, overall, I was pleased with the assessments and am actually glad the psychologist "tipped her hand" to me. Now I'm motivated to come to the IEP with documentation and support for placing Nate where I think he should go, whereas if I didn't know what the district was thinking, I would assume they wouldn't place him in the SDC. It's a bummer that some of the bad things I heard about school districts in the seminars I've attended are turning out to be true.

*Here is the list of goals I sent the psychologist:

• conversation turn-taking
• perspective taking (theory of mind)
• expressive, creative language (not just labeling items or expressing wants)
• imaginary play skills
• initiation of play with peers
• conversation with peers
• using words instead of screaming when frustrated
• self-monitoring with his special diet--that he will ask a parent or adult before he eats any food, and that he will know not to eat some of the obvious "no" foods like pizza
• appropriate initiation and interaction with peers during recess
• no resistance to holding hands with adult for safety purposes
• decrease in his desire to watch things spin (this may be an OT/vision therapy area)
• hand washing on own
• getting undressed on own and getting dressed with minimal assistance
• appropriate response to social comments/questions ("How are you?" "I like your shirt" etc.)
• ability to answer all types of "Wh" questions

Assessments

Nate's school district assessments are tomorrow. These will set the stage for where the district wants to place him, so it's important that they get these assessments right. I'm praying the evaluators are thorough, knowledgeable, and compassionate with a love for children/Nate, and that Nate is rested, cooperative, and "himself."

Do I really sound like this? :)

Translation: "This is Katie. Just calling hi to say. And... eeand... eand... [blah blah] ... hamburger and..."

Oops

The poor guy in this story came up with an original idea to propose to his girlfriend. It went more than a little bit wrong, but the only reaction his girlfriend can muster? Childish insensitivity. The guy says, "Now she is refusing to speak to me until I get her a new ring." Give me a break!

Lucy's first day

Today was Lucy's first time at therapy; she had a half hour of PT and a half hour of "infant stim," where they basically just play with the child and work on interaction, speech, social stuff. All morning, I kept telling Lucy how big a girl she was for getting to go to school like her brother. I told her what fun she was going to have. All the while, she smiled at me adoringly, having no idea what I was saying. That's because I was really saying those things for my own benefit, trying to ignore the fact that my baby needs therapy and I knew she was going to cry through it.

I stayed with her for the first part, PT, when the therapist asked me to. Lucy mostly cried the whole time, not liking that the therapist was making her lean over and reach for things, which was uncomfortable. Lucy doesn't have some of the "fall" reflexes (e.g., she doesn't try to stop herself when she falls backward).

When the time came for Lucy's infant stim half hour to start, that therapist came in to take her: it was Will (Nate's favorite ABA therapist--the one who came to our house for months for his in-home therapy and still works with Nate as his shadow at Group)! Lucy knows Will. She reached for him and, get this, put her head down on his shoulder and didn't even look for me as he walked away with her. Thank you, God! For this half hour, I was in my parent meeting for Nate, which was near where Lucy was with Will, and I didn't hear a peep of crying the whole time. :) Phew!

Here she is, ready for her first day

Look how cute

Baby pictures of my husband... and can you see now why I think Lucy looks so much like him? It's in the eyes and face/head shape. Here are four of Jon and then one of Lucy.

Weekend

We had a busy but sick weekend here. Nate came down with a cold on Thursday, and Lucy and both I had it by Saturday. We still managed a few cute pictures, though...



And Lucy's new daily activity: pulling up on someone's leg in the kitchen, making cooking or cleaning nearly impossible.



Our first family pictures with no one crying (Jon set up the camera on auto, and we told Nate to smile at the red light. Lucy didn't get the smile down, but oh well).

Lucy at 11 months

Lucy is in the midst of a possible-sickness-but-might-just-be-bad-teething week. I don't remember Nate's teething ever being this bad, but I think we got off easy with him in that regard.

Besides the sickness/teething, Lucy is doing so well! I can't believe she will already be a year old in just a few weeks (April 2). She is finally consistently sleeping at night, going to bed between 7:00 and 8:00 and waking at 6:00 or so (I go in there at 6:30). She started pulling up a few weeks ago and has also taken a few cruising steps along the furniture. Her favorite time of day is bath time, especially if Nate is in there with her too. She also loves the park, and she squeals with laughter if Nate pushes her in the swing. (Of course, she only gives me a grin if I push her. It's all about brother.)

She repeats "Mama" and "Dada" if prompted, but I'm not sure if she knows what the words mean. She does say "ba" for ball and also says "ba ba" and waves her arm for bye bye.

She will eat almost anything I put in front of her, but her favorite things are meats (especially bologna), salty things, blueberries, breads, and green vegetables. She does refuse most cheese, beans, and avocado (but I do sneak avocado into baby food, because who couldn't love avocado eventually? It's my favorite food.). I'm suspicious that she might be sensitive to milk, but that might be my paranoia because of Nate.

She still hates being left in the nursery at church, especially at AWANA since that's in the evening. I think in the mornings in the nursery, she stops crying pretty soon after I leave, but she cries nearly the whole time in there on AWANA nights (over 2 hours). It has improved a bit now that she's mobile, though.

Lucy is a content, usually easy-going, sweet baby. :)

Today's pictures and videos

Nate blowing dandelions today




...and then getting excited about arriving at the park:



Lucy the other night sort of saying a word:

Law day

The all-day seminar I went to on Saturday for special education law was really informative, interesting, and jam-packed with stuff I'm putting to use right away. I'm writing a more descriptive post about it on my autism blog, but some of the main points I walked away with are

• don't let the school district try to fit Nate into one of their existing programs. He is to have an individualized program that is most appropriate for him.
• keep everything in writing. If I do make a phone call, follow it up with an e-mail detailing all agreements, so I have record of them.
• tape record the IEP meeting (and give written notice first).
• have the district explain everything. If it's written Nate will have an hour of speech, then with whom? One on one? In a group? If in a group, how many other children? And what types of abilities will those other children have? etc.
• think beyond what is currently available at the school.
• get independent assessments for Nate if possible.
• remember: in these proceedings, my goal is the successful and appropriate education of my child.

Yesterday (Sunday), I wrote an e-mail to our district's special ed director, explaining how we had Nate's transition meeting over 3 weeks ago but have yet to hear anything about his assessments or IEP, etc., and I had a message first thing this morning from the district with dates for his assessments. Sometimes it just takes a little prodding, I guess.

On my autism blog, I'll also detail some of the actual law (IDEA) we went over.