Welcome to the world, Nathaniel Shane Varela
Born Sunday, May 1, at 7:44 p.m.
6 pounds, 8 ounces
19 inches long
...with a head full of beautiful dark hair

Pictures and more details coming soon. Mama, Daddy, and Baby are all doing great! :)

Thoughts as I say goodbye to work
1. I'm going to miss the daily activity/brain stimulation. It's satisfying taking a project from beginning to end, learning new things, picking up and using industry jargon without thinking anything of it. Realizing I'm going to miss this makes me thankful that I still have the freelance stuff I can do from home (when I'm ready). I plan on taking "leave" from editing until probably some time in June.

2. I'm not really going to miss anyone in particular. This is sad, I know, especially considering I've been here for 2 years. I am the only Christian in my department (of 15 people) and met very few other Christians in the company (and those I did meet weren't "buddy" material; although the male 45-year-old manager of the mail room is nice, I don't think a nice friendship was possible). And it isn't that I would have only become friends with other believers; I guess I'm just illustrating that I don't have much in common with anyone else. There are two girls I will miss, but our friendship is just surface.

3. I could have done more. Yes, my coworkers know that I'm a Christian, but I did not make enough of an effort to live that out daily or to be vocal about it. I spoke plainly and too often with those two friends about one of our fellow coworkers who frustrates us; I missed opportunities to talk about God, faith, and Christianity on general and person levels. I think I could always look back and think I could have done more, no matter the transition/life situation.

4. I am so excited! I'm right in the middle of a major life shift, moving on to something I've looked forward to for years. I never looked forward to being a proposal writer per se (though I did look forward to the idea of work in general--and I have enjoyed it). I'm excited to see what God has in store for us.

Today starts my last week of work!

Here's one of the pictures we had taken at Sears yesterday for our 3-year wedding anniversary and to celebrate the pregnancy in general (Jon is such an indulgent husband--he hates going to have his picture taken but does it for me without a word of complaint because he knows I like it):

Getting close
I feel good preparedness-wise for the baby after this weekend. Not only did I pick our pediatrician and notify both his office and my OB, but I also finished all of the pre-admission forms for the hospital and did several loads of baby-related laundry (washed all baby's clothes, blankets, and bed linens). I also wrote out a list of the other things we have left to do to be physically prepared for the baby (things left to buy, items left to set up, etc.).

Then on Saturday, after Jon put together the stroller and carseat, he and I decided to get started on the furniture rearranging we'd been planning: in order to move our computer desk from the baby's room into our bedroom, we have to move Jon's dresser to a different wall. In order to move his dresser, we have to move an antique writing desk out of our room. Instead of putting that writing desk, my favorite piece of furniture, in the garage, I wanted to work it into the living room, which was already kind of crowded in its current arrangement. Well, I had wanted to rearrange the living room anyway, because it is kind of closed off and doesn't have any room to lay down a blanket to put a baby:

(in this first picture you can also see Jon's dresser in our bedroom, which is what originally had to be moved so we could put the computer desk there)


We figured, since we were going to move around the furniture, we might as well put down the rug underlay that we never put down underneath the rug. We moved every piece of furniture out of the living room (including the bookshelf, which had to be emptied). I'm not supposed to do heavy lifting, so Jon did most all of this by himself. We put down the rug pad and the rug, vacuuming accumulated under-furniture dust along the way. Then Jon decided we needed to put new felt-bottomed feet on the couches, as the metal ones on them had been scratching the tile floors, so he went to Home Depot while I sat around feeling useless. ;) ...Do you see how this very small project of moving the computer desk into our bedroom turned into much more than we had been planning?! So, 6 hours and a Home Depot trip later, our living room is rearranged, the writing desk is out of our bedroom, and the computer desk and dresser are still in their original places. We'll do those next.
Here are the new pictures (and, yes, the dresser still in the wrong place):

I went on our church's annual women's retreat this weekend, and I loved it. Three other "younger" women went, too (by younger, I just mean that we don't have kids yet. So I guess I barely fit into this category), and we roomed together, staying up extremely late on both Friday and Saturday nights just talking. The speaker for the weekend was excellent--possibly controversial in some of her points (especially about birth control, which she believes should not be used)--but overall I really loved her main messages: the world really devalues the roles of wife and mother, telling women that being "just a wife and mother" is not enough. However, these are our God-given, God-created roles. God calls us to these roles as our primary ministry on earth. As a woman, my spheres of influence are first inside the home (husband, children, the physical house) then move outside the home (church, community). As parents, we raise children with the purpose of adding to the army of God. These ideas certainly don't jive with what most people in the world (and, frankly, in the church) believe/teach, but I really enjoyed thinking and hearing about them this weekend, and I agree with them. I am a child of God, a wife, and a mother, and that is enough.

As requested, here are some pictures...
From two weeks ago in the baby's room:


From one week ago wearing my favorite paint-covered pants:

I always used to wonder why my friends, toward the end of their pregnancies, said they wanted to be "done" with being pregnant. I'd think to myself, "But they're getting to wear such cute clothes, and their tummies look so cute, and they're getting so much more sleep right now than they will when the baby comes, and don't they want to hold on to these last weeks of being just husband and wife?" Now, I think I'm beginning to see.

The clothes: I could chuck my maternity pants out the window. I'm fine with the shirts--I still like those--but the very limited selection of pants I have to wear to work (one pair of now tight-fitting khakis, one pair black, and one pair grey that we just bought this past weekend) is getting annoying.

The tummy: Sure, I can see the cuteness factor. I like my tummy still (but ask me again when the stretch marks start forming and I may give a different answer); it's the swollen ankles/feet/hands, legs, face, and the rest of me that are getting old... not to mention the fact that carrying around ("waddling around" is more like it) an extra 30+ pounds isn't the easiest thing on one's body. :)

The sleep: I'm still of the same opinion when it comes to the sleep. I love and cherish my sleep, and even getting up two or three times a night to go to the bathroom like I'm doing now is nothing compared to what I know those first few weeks/months (years?) are going to be like with the baby.

The last few weeks of just husband and wife: Although I know I'm going to look back and reminisce with fondness about what it was like to be just the two of us--how relaxing our life was--I now understand, because of the other factors (clothes, tummy, so much anticipation) and because this baby is going to be such a blessing, the feeling of just wanting to be done!

This past Sunday after church was over, Jon found an envelope tucked into his Bible, addressed to JOHN AND KATIE VARELA. Inside was a short typed note (also in all caps) and $200 in cash!--no signature or anything. The typed note says something like, "Hope you can use this for something for the baby--maybe a crib or a glider!" We have no idea who it’s from--but it’s someone who at least knows the couple of things we still have to buy for the baby’s room. I haven't spent too much brain time trying to figure out who might be the giver(s), since they want to be anonymous, but I can't figure out if perhaps they purposely misspelled Jon's name in order to throw us off. :) But then they mentioned the crib and glider, making it obvious that they know us enough to know we need those things... Neat, huh?

I gave my notice (as in, I'm not coming back) to my boss today. I was going to do it this Friday, which is exactly 4 weeks before what I anticipate will be my last day (April 29), but I decided to do it today instead because tomorrow is the baby shower the department is throwing for me. I guess I just didn't want to go to the boss the day after this nice shower and say, "Thanks for the party. I quit." Anyway, she took the news relatively well--I can't imagine she was too surprised--and we decided we/she will probably tell the rest of the department some time next week. The semi-nice thing is that, since another proposal writer quit a couple of weeks ago (which in and of itself is a bad thing, leaving the department short yet another person when I go, but overall is a good thing since he was, frankly, a poor proposal writer), my boss has already started interviewing prospective proposal writers.

I was nervous to talk to my boss, but after it was over I realized I was more nervous in general about the finality of it: I'm actually quitting! I hadn’t had to think about it too much ‘til now. I won't be working anymore...because I will have a kid! This is going to be a huge change...

Sorry about the two-week hiatus in blogging. Things have been nice and busy at work, which leaves little time for dawdling on the internet!

We've had a nice couple of weeks, doing the same old same old during the week (work, flute lessons, etc.) and having relaxing weekends. We went out to a nice dinner at Five Crowns this past Friday night with Scott and Kim--that was a special treat. We went over to Phil and Katrina's house on Saturday evening, and the guys played Settlers for hours while Katrina and I hung out (we felt like an old married couple being so tired after staying out until 1:30). For Easter yesterday, we went to Kim's parents' house in La Mirada and enjoyed a great time--and a delicious meal--with Scott, Kim, their kids, Kim's parents, her uncle and grandmother, and Dustin and Lissa.

Saturday 3/26 marked 32 weeks--that's 8 months. I've been starting to feel a bit uncomfortable in general with all this weight in one place, but I'm still feeling good overall. On Saturday night when we were at Phil and Katrina's, I swelled up like a balloon! I think it was because we stayed up so late and it was a bit hot in their place. Good thing I had taken my wedding rings off and put them on my pinky. My feet and ankles didn't even look like my own. The swelling went down a little bit by morning, but I still don't look like myself. I might be this way through the end! Even Jon noticed when he held my hand, and then I told him to look at my feet and he just about jumped. ;)

Weekend in Laguna
Our "get-away" weekend was great. The bed and breakfast was very nice, and we would definitely enjoy staying there again. It had an "old-fashioned" feel in keeping with the history of the original house, which was built in the 1920s. The breakfast both mornings was delicious, and they also serve “refreshments” each evening from 5:00 to 7:00, so we had appetizers (cheese, crackers, vegetables, dip, wine, etc.) both nights before we went out to dinner. On Friday night, Jon had made reservations for the Cedar Creek Inn. He got lamb, and I had pork--both were delicious. We enjoyed talking and just spending time with each other; we marveled about how it felt like we were on vacation and "far away" from home, when we were really only about 10 minutes from home! After our long dinner, we headed back to the B&B and lit a fire in the fireplace. After breakfast on Saturday, we walked around the gardens and grounds at the Montage Hotel (further south on PCH--it was really pretty), walked around downtown Laguna a lot, had coffee, searched for a restaurant some other guests had told us about (The Sundried Tomato--we found it and made reservations for dinner), ate some pizza, and then went back to our suite and watched a movie (“Philadelphia Story”) and read our books. Neil and Casey came down and had dinner with us at The Sundried Tomato (now one of my new favorite restaurants, because the cream of sundried tomato soup was absolutely delicious) and also came back to the B&B with us to look around. So all in all, it was a very relaxing, low-key weekend--I loved it! We went home Sunday at about 11:00 and did things around the house for the rest of the day.

Although we didn't bring our camera with us, Jon did take a couple of pictures with his phone--maybe I can post those.

Baby shower #2
Sunday, March 6 was my second baby shower, hosted by my good friend Casey. It was so lovely and so special! I arrived with Kim a few minutes before 12:30, just as Lucy and her friend Michelle were getting there (they had gone to Mission Hills church for the morning). The other guests were my college roommate Katrina (she helped Casey host), Liz, Colleen (mother-in-law), Jennifer (sister-in-law), Shiloh, Lissa, Amy, and Kristan. Casey took a picture of me with each guest, and she had each guest fill out a scrapbook page she had pre-made--she's going to put each picture with its corresponding page, and then I'll have a nice baby shower scrapbook! We had a delicious homemade lunch of pasta salad, vegetables with dip, delectable herb/parmesan-filled tomato halves (made especially with me in mind), potato salad, ham, warm crusty bread rolls, salad with mandarin oranges, and pound cake with strawberries and blueberries for dessert. We played several fun games organized by Katrina, including the one where guests break off the length of streamer they think will fit around my stomach (I think Lucy's was the longest! Kristan's length was exactly right, so she won).

Then I opened all of the wonderful gifts: this baby bathtub with a little robe, rubber ducky, and bath toys; a monitor (excellent for us since our two bedrooms are on opposite ends of the house; a health and grooming kit I'd picked out; this Snugli carrier like the one Ricci has; a bunch of cute little learning books from Colleen and Jennifer; several very cute outfits, onesies, socks, and shirts; things for help feeding the baby (milk storage kit, etc.); blankets; a sweet card and check from my aunt; and more! Then came the "surprise gifts"--things I definitely hadn't been expecting:

--a gift from Nannie! Lucy brought it with her, but I didn't know. Nannie had made several cute, fluffy blankets--I think there are six or seven of them. All of them but one are white with different stitching along the outside (one blue, one pink, two different greens, etc.). Then one blanket is of a multi-colored fabric with corresponding multi-colored stitching. Now I know what Nannie has been sewing for the past several months when she mentioned sewing over e-mail. :)
--a gift from Nell! This wasn't as much of a surprise, because I did know she sent the gift, but it was still special. She sent an adorable soft-cover book and--how perfect--a froggy dish set (baby's first cup, bowl, spoon, etc.). A little background: in high school and into college, I ended up with a sort of frog collection, and it all started with several very cute little frog figurines Nell gave me one year. Thank you Nell!!!
--a gift from my parents. I thought my mom would probably send something, but I didn't know it would be in such a huge box--that thing must have been over 3 feet tall by 3 feet wide by 5 feet long. When I first started opening it, I thought it was a joke, because I reached in to start taking out the newspaper stuffed in the box and couldn't feel anything but newspaper. But then I saw it: it was the rocking horse that was mine as a child! That my dad made for me! That our family friend painted for me! I had no idea my mom had even saved it all these years. I'm very glad to have it--it looks so cute in the baby's room.
--a gift from Casey. Now that isn't a surprise, but the gift itself was: the most adorable crocheted hat I think I've ever seen. It has a removable flower (remove if the baby is a boy). I didn't even remember that Casey could crochet, so I wasn't expecting such a sweet gift. Everyone in the room "oohed and ahhed." :)

After the gifts, this special shower was finished. Thank you Casey!

Woah! I just viewed our blog with Mozilla Firefox (we have this on our home computer now), and it looks horrible! The fonts are messed up, and a lot of it is green. Does it look this way to anyone else? I've always used Internet Explorer. Now, on to the post:

Ashley asked if we have settled on names for the baby, but we still haven't. We have kind of stalled at three girl names and two boy names (included below with their meanings):

Girl:
Emiline (nickname Emmy) (hardworking)
Claire (clear, bright)
Anne (gracious)

Boy:
Nathaniel (nickname Nate) (gift of God)
Benjamin (nickname Ben) (son of my right hand)

I've toyed around with different first-middle name combinations:
Emiline Grace. Claire Louise. Anne Elizabeth. Emiline Anne. Benjamin Ray. Nathaniel Shane. Benjamin Reagan.

I wouldn't be too upset if we went to the hospital still with no final decision made--one or two boy names and one or two girl names would be fine with me. We could decide the name after we met the baby. :) Feel free to "vote" on your favorites!

Oh, and since my comments get deleted after a couple of months, I thought I'd include the tidbits I told in some comments below:

One thing I have noticed is how I'm unaware of exactly how big I am. In the past week, I have closed a door on myself (thought I was standing far enough back from the door, but when it went to close, it hit my belly and stopped) and scraped against a dirty car (thought I could squeeze sideways in between two cars in a parking lot, but my belly was too big and got pushed up against the sideview mirror). The usual distances/measurements I subconsciously know are right for my size body just don't work anymore!

Baby is moving and shaking all over the place this afternoon--it's so cool. I'm looking humongous, and here are the pictures to prove it:




:)

Having a kid is a scary thing. First, being pregnant is new, unknown, possibly scary since you don't know exactly what's happening in there. The idea of labor is scary (the physics of it and the pain). Then, giving birth to a tiny, helpless baby means you are 100% responsible for this human being who can do absolutely nothing for himself. If something horrible happens to the baby, it's probably because of something you did or didn't do. Scary! But, even beyond the fragile baby stage, what about "train[ing] up a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6)? How do you do that? How do you not become one of those families in the grocery store (we all know we don't want to become them--but how?)? And then, oh then, the teenage years. Scary! I can read the parenting books and listen to the wisdom of those who have done a good job before me, but it's still daunting. I pray that God will give me grace, wisdom, and peace through all the scary stages...


Yesterday, two people told me something along the lines of "You are huge!" However, I took it as a compliment from Ricci, because she knew I wanted to be showing, and her comment was followed by one about being "cute." The other commenter (a coworker) may have had some ulterior/unkind motives, but I surprised myself at how little I cared, and I replied with a sincere "Thank you." I think I had my pregnancy "pop" in the past week or so; now it's evident to anyone that I'm pregnant.

I will hit 28 weeks--7 months (and the start of the third trimester I think)!--tomorrow, so Jon will probably take a couple of pictures like we did for hitting 6 months. (The picture I was going to add for you here is just not working. It isn't the picture's fault, so don't be mad...)

We had a nice long weekend here. We spent the day together on Saturday, going to lunch in downtown Fullerton and attending a CIF high school girls basketball game later in the evening (our friend is the coach). We went with some friends over to Jon's parents' house after the game to watch the NBA All Star events that Ray and Colleen had recorded for us. On Sunday, we had a normal morning at church (this week is missions week, and the speaker was head of Campus Crusade for Christ) and spent a good time at the food court with friends after church discussing the message. That evening, Neil, Casey, and Dan came over with us to Ray and Colleen's house to have Colleen's tacos and watch the All Star game. I had Monday off from work but Jon didn't, so I went to the lab to do the one-hour glucose test (uneventful; results will be back in a couple of days) and then to Target to buy a photo album. I spent most of the rest of the day putting in all of our pictures from summer 2002-present (we don't have that many, since we have a digital camera and mostly use that). So now I'm all caught up with pictures and will be ready to start a new album when the baby comes!

And Ashley, to answer your question: we went out to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen for Valentine's Day. We didn't do much for the day (no cards or anything), because Jon prefers spontanaeity over "forced romance." He likes to surprise me with flowers or cards, etc., so he doesn't like days where it's expected. That's fine by me. :)

Since I haven't been posting much at all, I thought I'd use my answers to Nell's questions left in the comments section below as my next post.

When is your last day of work?
Although I haven't officially given a day, I think it will be Friday, April 29. That will give me three weeks before my due date.

What have you decided to tell you boss about your "maternity leave?"
I'm going to continue avoiding questions of this nature (posed by my boss, that is) until probably the end of March, when I will give one month's notice about April 29 being my last day. I'm only obligated to give them two weeks' notice, but I think a month is 1) kinder, as they will have more time to find a replacement and 2) still fairly safe, as they could let me go on the spot, but I doubt they would because I think they need me and will want me to stay as long as I can.

Will you teach your flute students through the first few months with the baby?
Yes. I plan on taking approximately a month off from teaching lessons. I'm sending home a note to my students/their parents in the next week or two to let them know I'm pregnant (I usually don't see the parents--they just drop the kids off) and that there will be a month or so of no lessons beginning around the end of May. I think this will coincide well with summer, actually, so that we can start a summer schedule of lessons for July and August. That summer schedule can be worked out so that either 1) Jon's mom could come over/help with the baby during lessons, 2) I could see about scheduling lessons during baby's nap times, or 3) we could continue evening lessons so that Jon would be home. I figure that, as long as we don't have a super fussy baby and I can make sure I feed him/her at the right times before or after lessons, it should work out well.

I'm also going to continue editing, but the logistics of that aren't as difficult, as that is completely on my own time and schedule, and I can accept or deny jobs as necessary.

:)

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, and it went well. I had a couple of things to bring up with the doctor, and she was helpful and nice. I told her about my back hurting every day (for the past several months) in the evenings, and she said I could use a heating pad. This was after I asked about a couple of other questions about uncomfortable symptoms I've been having, and so she said something like how she was sorry I was having to go through having these symptoms. I said that it is completely worth it and these things are nothing--it's true! I’m feeling great, I said, and loving being pregnant. She said, "I can tell!" I have that glow, I guess. ;o)

Update
What a boring blogger I am! The reason I haven't been updating is that nothing much has been happening. Things are going great with the pregnancy--I'm feeling good and still enjoying feeling the baby kick. This past Saturday I hit 24 weeks--6 months--and so we took a couple of pictures:





Upcoming events:
My sister Lucy is coming to visit with her friend Michelle during their spring break. They'll be here March 5-11.

A couple of days ago, Jon booked a weekend trip for us for March 11-13--I am so excited! We decided we'd like to take one last weekend trip as a two-person family, especially seeing as it will probably be a while before we can take a trip just the two of us again. This time, we aren't going far, though: we're staying at the Casa Laguna Inn for two nights in the Mission Suite. (The link hasn't been working for me today, but I'm 99% sure that's the correct website.)

Oh, and my next baby shower is going to be on March 6. So March 5-13 is going to be a fun week for me!

Same old same old
Things are going well here--and that means normal, the same, nothing new to post! Baby has been moving a lot, and that is my favorite part of pregnancy so far. I still only halfway fit my maternity clothes, but I'm wearing them anyway.

Now, on to something completely different.

One of my friends is struggling with the beginnings of infertility. I say "beginnings" because I don't think she would even label it infertility herself yet. I don't think she's ready mentally to put herself in that category. But she told me that she and her husband were starting to try to have kids well over a year ago, and she had one early miscarriage several months ago. She was one of the ones I wasn't sure how to tell when we found out we were pregnant in September. Since September, I discovered and have been avidly reading the host of infertility/adoption/pregnancy blogs out there. Some of the authors are witty, intelligent, and fun to read. Indirectly, they have given me a lot of insight about what to say (and what not to say) to this friend and how to talk to her. The other day when she was over at the house, I spoke frankly with her about what they've been going through and how I struggled with how to tell her about my pregnancy. She was candid too, telling me that it was a wonderful and very difficult day when I told her. Anyway, I'm thankful for those authors and blogs--without them, I don't think I would have known what to say.

Here are my favorites:
Chez Miscarriage - a surrogate is carrying their baby
Julia/"Here Be Hippogriffs" - "secondary infertility"--they have a son (the one "completed" pregnancy out of 7 or 8) but would like more
Uncommon Misconception - she just gave birth last week to a baby girl; dealt with placenta previa (serious condition where placenta attaches to uterine wall)
Tertia - just brought home the tiny twins
A Little Pregnant - just brought home a premie son

First baby shower
I had such a nice time at my first baby shower yesterday. I tried on a bunch of my maternity shirts in the morning and picked the one that made me look the most pregnant (this isn't me):



After church, Colleen and I went over to the Hutchins' house, and Carolyn and Ashley welcomed us in. Kari and Katrina arrived next, then Ricci (with Miles) and Jenny, Sabrina, and finally Jennaya. We enjoyed punch and had a good time talking with each other, and then we ate a delicious light lunch (quiche, fresh fruit--including blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, yum!--fresh vegetables with dip, and a light spinach-strawberry salad). Next, I opened the gifts--a very generous pile! My mom even mailed a gift to the Hutchins' house so it would be there for the shower--that was very sweet. I got a great mix of practical and fun things--some diapers, onesies, hooded towels, crib bedding (the duvet, bumper, and crib sheets), outfits, socks, bibs, rattles, teethers, etc. And I love the ducky pattern that came on a lot of the things! After the gifts, we ate a good dessert and played two word games. In all, it was a pleasant, lovely afternoon!

Sabrina came over to the house with me after the shower to help put things away and figure out where things will eventually go when we get the baby furniture. The second bedroom is starting to feel like the baby's room now!

I'm at 21 weeks 4 days!

I’m wearing a maternity shirt and pants today. Although I feel like I’m swimming in this shirt, I’m tired of wearing all my old shirts and stretching them out! This has to be the only frustrating/uncomfortable thing about the second trimester of pregnancy--not fitting into any clothes! :o) Anyway, this is a size small maternity shirt, so it doesn’t look quite as silly as some of the other ones might. Oh well! I’m sure in a couple of weeks I’ll fill out these shirts better. The pants are fitting great though.

My first shower is this Sunday! I'm so excited. Maybe I should secure a small pillow around my waist to look a bit more pregnant... :)

This weekend, Jon is flying to Florida and then driving home! Scott bought a car online a couple of weeks ago, and it’s at a dealer in Orlando. So Jon and Scott are flying to Orlando together on Saturday and driving the car straight back to California--they hope to get home by Monday night. Crazy. Jon used one of his free flights on Southwest (just had to use one ticket since it’s just one way for each of them). I hope to spend some of that free weekend time going through the second bedroom and majorly cleaning out one side of the closet to get it ready to hold baby things.

(Can you tell I have baby on the brain?)

Quick pregnancy tidbit
Jon felt the baby move yesterday! I was lying down on my side in the afternoon, and I felt a definite bubble/kick on the left side, where Baby's legs are. I put my hand there, waiting to see if I would feel it again, and I did--both from the inside and with my hand. So I called Jon over and had him rest his hand there. After a moment, I felt the baby again from the inside and said, "There! Did you feel that?" And he did! He said it was faint, but he did feel it. Cool!

Ultrasound picture
Here are two copies of the profile picture from yesterday:




We have one more picture ("Alien Baby"), but we'll have to scan it. ;)

Ultrasound
The ultrasound was this morning. It was SO COOL!!!! We got to see the profile, the face, the little hands and feet, the arms and legs, the heart (could even see the two distinct sides of the heart), the brain, the spine/lungs/skeleton, everything! And it was so fun watching him/her move. The baby stayed relatively still, but every couple of seconds he/she would move arms or legs. It was so neat. We got a picture of the profile and one of the face straight on, but that one just captures the skull (I call it "alien baby"). We did see the facial features, though--especially the nose and lips. I loved it! And I’m so glad Jon came. Then I had a regular appointment after that and that went just fine--just a check-in with the doctor...

Oh, and we did not find out if it's a boy or girl. ;)

Sorry I haven't posted in over a week, but everything has been pretty boring/normal around here! And that's good.

We had a nice New Year's. I had Friday off from work, and Jon took the day off too. We went to see the new movie version of "Phantom of the Opera." We liked it, and it reminded me of when we went to see the play several years ago. (Somewhat funny story that illustrates my gullibility: taking me to see the play was Jon's present to me for my birthday in 1999, but it was a surprise. I knew something was scheduled for that evening and that I was to dress up, but that was it. One day several weeks before the event, Jon slipped and said something like, "When we go to see--". It didn't make me suspicious at all, but Jon thought it might have. So he had his dad "accidentally tell" Jon's secret--that he would be taking me to Sea World for my birthday. I was so mad at Ray for having given away Jon's surprise, but I did not wonder at all what at Sea World would require me to dress up. When the night came and we were at a fancy dinner before the show with our two friends, the waiter asked if we were going to see Phantom. Kristen fumbled through telling him that we were actually going to Sea World. I still had no clue. That's right, I still thought we were going to Sea World--right up until we pulled into the parking garage at the theater.) Anyway, the movie on Friday was good because it made the story a little easier to understand.

For New Year's Eve, we went to Scott and Kim's house with several others and enjoyed the entertainment provided by their kids until they went to bed. We also ate good Mexican food, and then the girls sat around and talked while the guys played Settlers until (and past) midnight. We love our friends and had a great time.

On New Year's Day, Jon and I took down the Christmas tree and decorations (a much longer task than I had anticipated--but satisfying nonetheless) and ended up doing some other gratifying sorting/throwing away of accumulated junk. Then we went out to dinner with his family and watched "Napoleon Dynamite" at their house.

So, like I said, normal and boring! This week I'm looking forward to the big ultrasound on Thursday morning, and I'm also enjoying feeling the baby move a bit more often! I've felt him/her three distinct times today!

We had a nice, low-key Christmas here. Jon loved the presents I got him, including a 20GB iPod (he stayed up 'til 2:00 a.m. Christmas night putting music on it) and a DVD of one of his favorite movies ("Better Off Dead" with John Cusack). Also, as a non-planned but fun gift, when we were out doing last-minute family Christmas shopping on Thursday night, we found men's suits majorly on sale in Macy's. He got a beautiful pin-striped Kenneth Cole suit for 50% off, and I used my Christmas bonus to pay for it (the bonus covered it all except $75--not bad). This is his first real suit. Jon got me a beautiful light blue wool/cashmere pea coat (I LOVE it), a DVD ("Ever After"--love that movie!), and he's taking me shopping for a new pair of shoes. OH!--and my parents got us a digital video camera!

After we opened our gifts to each other, we went over to Jon's parents' house for the rest of the day (around 10:00). I brought potato casserole and helped Colleen with some of the rest: barbecued green beans (a good recipe!), sweet potatoes, ham, rolls, and pumpkin pie. We all exchanged gifts and then ate around 3:00. Jon spent much of the day testing out the new video camera and iPod, watching the Miama Heat beat the Lakers, and catnapping. He and I went back home around 7:30 and watched Spider-Man 2 (a gift from Jennifer).

Now it's back to the real world... but at least it's just a 4-day week (Friday off).

In pregnancy news: I feel like I have gained about 80 pounds. I think it's closer to 15, but still...

I think I felt the baby move today! I can't be positive that's what it was, but still, I'm pretty sure. I was in bed this morning, having hit the snooze button a couple of times. I rolled over on my side and was still, and then, blip! a little tappy sort of bubble. It was a couple of inches below my belly button and a bit to the left. I waited for a few minutes to see if I felt anything else, but nothing felt as strong (and anything else I felt might have been a mind psych-out). Cool!

I'm going to sit still for a few minutes after I eat lunch today to see if I feel anything. ;)

Pregnancy update
Well, there isn't much to update. None of my clothes fit me, and I feel plump, especially in areas that I didn't think needed to get any bigger... This is all for a reason, so I'm not going to obsess too much! I still haven't felt Baby move, but I've been trying to pay attention. I think sitting still after I eat is a good time to feel movement.

My grandparents gave us the stroller/car seat system I found and love for Christmas. Yay! Also, I bid on a nice, gently used white crib on Ebay and was the high bidder, but apparently I didn't meet the reserve price. I didn't want to go above my bid anyway, though, so perhaps the seller will contact me. It's a local pickup arrangement in Del Mar--would be worth it for the money saved.

In other news, I have Friday off from work and am hopeful that they'll let us go early tomorrow too. I'm not taking any paid time off this week or next week in order to save the PTO for later in the pregnancy if I want to take it then. Also, I already used several hours here and there throughout December. That's it!

Blogs I've been reading
I don't have a blogroll on my blog because the purpose of my blog is more personal- and friend-oriented. I don't write anything too interesting to anyone who doesn't know me (perhaps it isn't interesting to those who know me either...). But these are some blogs I've been reading recently:

Chez Miscarriage - Not the best language you will come across, but this woman writes very well and injects humor in surprising places. I've read her archives from March 2004 through today. Struggling for years with infertility, she and her husband have finally chosen a gestational surrogate to carry their baby. That pregnancy is in the early stages still.
The Leery Polyp - Along the same lines (including the language), this woman struggled with infertility and, along with her husband, had decided to adopt. Now at the beginning of that process, she has found out she is pregnant, but she is not too hopeful, having had numerous miscarriages before ("The pregnancy feels imaginary. Unreal. I try to picture myself getting to the point where maternity clothes are necessary, and it actually makes me laugh, it's so ridiculous, so impossible to believe... And of course I want to believe in it, but I'm terrified."). She's currently struggling with still wanting to continue the adoption process but wanting to be hopeful about the pregnancy.
The Proverbial Wife - Written by Marla Swoffer, a Christian who lives with her family in the liberal San Francisco area. Thought-provoking posts.

And, of course, my real friends:
To A Discerning Eye - Bryce and Ashley in Scotland.
Jack Flack Always Escapes - Adventures of my friend Nell, now living in New York. We met in middle school and became good friends in early high school.

18 weeks!
We had a nice time at Denny's for breakfast this morning and are just getting lots done around the house now (I cleaned our bathroom and shower, am doing some laundry, will go empty the dishwasher after this, and wrote a couple of thank you notes for Christmas gifts already received; Jon mowed the lawn, will wash one of our cars, and is doing miscellaneous yard work). We're going over to Phil and Katrina's tonight--that should be fun. It's the first time the four of us have hung out since they got married in October. Nothing else big going on today!

Random thoughts 11 days before Christmas
I finished the rest of my Christmas shopping on Saturday--with two weeks to spare! That's actually cutting it a bit close for me. I don't like big shopping crowds and aisle upon aisle of cluttered merchandise thrown every which way. Before his married days, Jon wouldn't have even started Christmas shopping yet. "Two weeks?! That's plenty of time!" That's why I do the shopping. This year, he just has to buy gifts for his dad and his friend Scott (and me).

At my doctor's appointment last week, they took some blood to do a screening for Down's syndrome and a couple of other birth defects. The doctor said the results would be in within a few days, and they would call me if there was anything to discuss. "If you don't get a call from me," she said, "consider that good news." Yesterday, I had a message on my cell phone to call the doc office to "discuss some lab results." Yikes. I called the number and waited on hold for 10 long minutes. The "lab results," though, were from a urine sample, not the blood test, and I just have some hints of a minor bacterial infection. I already got the prescription and everything is fine. But I wish they could have been a little more specific about which lab results they were calling about. Of course, even if they were calling about the blood test and there was something "wrong" with the baby, we wouldn't be changing a thing. The doctors may recommend "terminating the pregnancy" (come on, people, call it what it is: killing the baby), but we would not consider that. The reason we agreed to have the blood test done in the first place is just to know, to be prepared.

We were very busy this weekend, but it was mostly with fun stuff. The wedding on Friday went very well. Jon was very groomsmanly. I saw quite a few old friends/acquaintances (Mickeal, the Millers, Amy, the Johnsons) and even a person/family I did not want to see, but even that went very well. On Saturday after a Christmas program rehearsal, I tried to help Jon's parents move into their new house, but only being able to lift light boxes doesn't help very much. So instead, that's when I finished my Christmas shopping. Saturday night was the annual ornament exchange party. This was our third year going, and I think we had the most fun this year since we knew a few more people. I even liked the ornaments we went home with (a first!--many people bring joke/ugly ornaments, and then the several that are really neat get "stolen"). After the party, we went over to Neil and Casey's house and had a really great time sitting around and talking until way past my bed time. That caused Sunday morning's message to be a little fuzzy in my mind, but it was still good. I was back at church at 4:30 for a last rehearsal before the Christmas program, which started at 6:00. It went surprisingly well, considering the singers had never practiced with the band and the actors had never practiced with the musicians and the lighting was never planned and there had never been a dress rehearsal. Dinner out with friends after the program was a nice ending to a full but nice weekend.

And so it begins
Our [too-busy] Christmas season seems to be beginning now. Tonight is the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for a wedding Jon is in (the wedding is tomorrow--Friday--and we'll be leaving work early to get to it. I wonder why they chose a Friday for the wedding and, since they chose a Friday, why they chose a time that meant everyone, guests included, would have to take time off of work to attend). Saturday is an annual ornament exchange party. Sunday is our church's Christmas program (I'll be singing). Thursday next is a potluck at work. Friday next is another party, this one involving a white elephant gift exchange (someone want to google the origins of the phrase "white elephant"?). Janel and family arrive some time around then for a week, and we'll be taking a Varela family Christmas picture on the 22nd. Seth's first birthday is the 23rd. Amid all of this, I really do want to continue to take a step back and remember the true significance of Christmas, enjoying the activities, decorations, parties, and company, but always with Christ and God's miraculous gift in mind.

Wednesdays are my favorite week day
Wednesdays are nice because I don't have anything scheduled after work. Mondays and Tuesdays are for flute lessons, and Thursdays are for music rehearsal at church. Wednesdays are free. It makes my whole day a lot more relaxing, knowing that I'm done with obligations at 5:00. I usually just relax at home, but today I'm going to Target to shop for a wedding gift and some ornaments for an ornament exchange we're going to on Saturday.

Oh, my next doctor's appointment is tomorrow, and I'm hoping Jon can come! He hasn't heard the heartbeat yet, so it would be neat if he could hear it tomorrow. I'm over 4 months pregnant now!--and our baby is about 4.5 inches long and weighs very little (a couple of ounces).

We had a very nice time this weekend with my parents. They arrived mid-day Friday, and we went straight from the airport to Laguna Beach for lunch and to enjoy the beautiful, sunshine-y California weather. It's a good thing we enjoyed it Friday, because Saturday and Sunday were dreary, rainy, and chilly. My dad also got another crazy shirt. The four of us went to I Love Sushi for dinner on Friday. I didn't think I would get that jealous of everyone for getting to eat all that good sushi, but I did. I really do miss those Philadelphia rolls and tropical rolls and wasabi... Of everything I'm not supposed to eat while pregnant, sushi is what I miss. The shrimp wontons, miso soup, and salad I had were still very good.

On Saturday, we had breakfast at home and hung around the house for a while. Jon, my mom, and I got lunch at Del Taco while my dad went to a business meeting. Then my mom and I did some baby room shopping at Babies R Us (I think I might register here); we looked at cribs (expensive!), strollers (expensive!), crib mattresses (expensive!), and dressers/changing tables (super expensive!). I found some decently priced things that I like. Saturday evening, the four of us went to the Clippers game versus the Timberwolves. We had seats in the Clear Channel suite (Jon's company advertises on the radio through Clearchannel/Clear Channel--however they write it--and so he gets these tickets sometimes), where they provide lots of good food (free) and comfortable seats. The game was exciting--it went into overtime, but we lost.

On Sunday, Jon and I went together early to church to do our normal routine (Jon setting up sound, me rehearsing music), and my parents came later (already over halfway through the service--I know this was my mom trying to be sensitive to my non-believing dad, but oh well). A bunch of us went out to lunch after church, and I was reminded once again why I like going to the food court at the mall if a bunch of us are going at once: no bill sharing. Trying to figure out how 12 people are going to pay one bill is always a huge hassle. Anyway, Jon was off to Sacramento by this time for work, so my mom, dad, and I spent the rest of the day together (including a drop-off-dad-at-Home-Depot-so-we-can-do-one-more-stint-of-baby-shopping hour. We went to Target and saw the crib linens/room decorations I'd like to register for and also found a dresser that would work as a changing table--less than half the cost of the ones at Babies R Us. It felt weird to do all this baby room shopping when I'm not even really showing yet and still have 6 months to go. I felt like an imposter in Babies R Us, with all these cutely very pregnant women walking around looking at the same things I was. But hey, I'm still pregnant.). We made taco soup for dinner and then watched "Italian Job," since my parents had never seen it.

We got ready this morning at a leisurely pace, and I took them to the airport. That pretty much sums up the weekend!

I don't know if it's my prolonged absence from being around my dad for so long that made me forget or if it is actually that he has changed, but I think he has gotten more set in his ways and impatient. At lunch on Friday, a girl one table over from us had a loud, annoying laugh--it was quite noticeable and inappropriate. While I think most people I would have been with would either not notice it, laugh about it, make fun of her, or just shrug it off, it really frustrated my dad. Things like that annoy him to the point where it could ruin his meal and prevent him from having a good time. I don't know if he has always just been that way and I didn't notice as much or if it really has gotten worse. Interesting.

There isn't too much on tap for this week, but I do have my 16-week appointment on Thursday morning. In addition, Thursday is my one-year anniversary of reaching lifetime status in Weight Watchers.

General news
Work
I have been quite bored here lately. So have the other proposal writers--at least the other two I'm friends with. Because of the restructure of the sales and marketing force in the company and the changing nature of how exactly we're doing business (new products, new sales targets), the salespeople haven't been getting/submitting proposal requests. This is our slow season for proposals anyway, but annual projects are only so interesting (and only take up so much time). The fact that I'm only going to be working here 5 months longer (though no one here knows that yet) also factors in to my boredom/lack of motivation.

Jon's job, on the other hand, is anything but boring. He's working his typical long hours and coming home exhausted. I can tell when he has had a good day, because, though he has usually worked 10+ hours, he feels productive--like he actually got things done. Receiving constant interruptive phone calls and questions surely impedes progress...

Home
We still haven't decided 100% what to do with our house: do the addition after the baby's born? Not do the addition and instead just get a new roof, of which the house is in desperate need? Regardless, we need to have something done about the roof so we don't stay up at night each time it rains praying there are no leaks.

We're still really enjoying our new tile floors and the heat, protection, and comfort God through our home gives us.

Pregnancy
This past week has felt new. I've been feeling great, but I've also noticed that my lower-to-middle back has been hurting. I guess that's typical, even this early in pregnancy when I haven't gained much weight. Also, I've been thinking that it is a boy. Of the 4 or 5 dreams I have had with our baby in it, it has always been a boy. And in discussing names with Jon, I kept thinking about and wanting to talk about boy names--almost like I had forgotten about the girl names I like. This might just be my subconscious "psyching me out," since I have been leaning toward wanting a girl just a little bit more than a boy. But a couple of the boy names we came up with have me very excited, so maybe it's God preparing to change my heart. :)

Weekend plans
My parents are coming to visit this weekend! This is my dad's first time back out to California since they moved exactly two years ago. My mom has been out numerous times (three I think). They're flying in Friday and leaving Monday morning, so this is a short visit, but certainly better than nothing. Though I don't mention it much, I really miss my parents and brother and sister.

We're planning on going to I Love Sushi for dinner at some point over the weekend, and Jon got four tickets to the Clippers game for Saturday night, so we'll go to that too. I think my dad wants to go to Laguna Beach and buy a t-shirt, too (my silly dad).

Flute lessons
I have four flute students right now--two on Mondays and two on Tuesdays. If it weren't for one of my Monday students, I would think that I am a great flute teacher.

Angela, the student I've been teaching the longest, is a diligent 12-year-old who has long fingers and a naturally good tone. She comes from a typical Orange County Asian family; I think her parents push her to do well in everything--tennis, swimming, flute, school, etc. I'm sure her room is always clean too. She has improved steadily since starting lessons.

Tosin is a man from Nigeria who is in the states for school. Although he is busy and sometimes cancels our lessons (well in advance), he is a good student. He practices a lot for our lessons, and he listens well (I'd hope so--he's 27). He's improving steadily.

Natalie is a new student--we've had just two lessons so far (tonight will be the third), but I will have fun teaching her. She is a freshman at a local high school, and she is intimidated by the [snobby] older flute players. Although she has a good sound, we're working on the fundamentals now (scales, reading notes) and on not getting frustrated/flustered when she messes up.

And then there's Annie-Jo. She is a 9-year-old from England living here with her family for 6 months. I have taught others as young as she is, so I don't think the issues stem solely from age. Annie-Jo talks incessantly--her stories start off sounding like they're related to what I've just told her about flute, but then they tangent off and keep going and going. It's hard for me to get a word in edgewise, and so I end up having to be stern with her. But it isn't just the talking. In the three months or so that I've been teaching her, I think she has made about three weeks' worth of improvement. I give her basically the same assignments each week because she either hasn't done them at all or she hasn't made any change/improvement. I do think she practices. Another problem: her mother. Annie-Jo's mom is also a beginner flute player, so I think she tells Annie-Jo how to do things; often, those things are in direct opposition to whatever I've told or assigned Annie-Jo. (Oh, and after talking with the mother a few times, I see where Annie-Jo gets the incessant talking from.)

I think it's time for a new teaching plan with Annie-Jo. Usually, I don't have to do much preparation for my lessons. I set up my flute, the chair, the music stand, and then, when the student arrives, I look over what I assigned him/her last week and start from there. Maybe Annie-Jo needs even more structure: a written out quiz she must start immediately upon arrival while I put her flute together for her (instead of her putting her flute together, which has become a time where she slowly puts together the flute while rambling on and on); a rule sheet with the number one rule of "no story-telling"; a requirement that she repeat my instructions to her after I give them... Look out, Annie-Jo!--you're about to be hit with Extreme Flute Teaching!

Thanksgiving
What a great weekend. Jon's parents and little sister stayed over, and Colleen and I did the traditional meal--turkey, gravy, stuffing, cranberries, potato casserole, squash casserole, green beans, sweet potatoes, and three pies. I cleaned the house, avoided shopping madness, and did most of my Christmas decorating (to be completed when we get a tree) on Friday. It was very nice to spend some extra time with Jon and sleep in. He and I went to dinner and a movie on Saturday night, and we talked about baby names for the first time. I think we whittled the choices down to 2 for a girl and 3 or 4 for a boy. We still have plenty of time to decide, of course, but this was the first time I actually pinned him down to talk about it. I think the whole thing (pregnancy, actually having a baby) hasn't really hit him yet. Will it ever? Maybe not until the baby's born. :)

This year, I am very thankful for
- my salvation
- my husband, his leadership in our home, his work ethic, his love for me, his gentleness
- my husband's job
- the miraculous little life growing inside me
- the abundance of food, shelter, clothing, and every necessity God has provided for us
- Scott and Kim and the other close friends God has blessed us with
- our families

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Weekend report
For some reason, I got very detailed today about my weekend...

Is it over already? We had a busy weekend. On Friday, we went to Bible study after eating dinner at Taco Bell. I held baby Sam during the study, and he fell asleep--I just love that. Bible study ended around 9:45, and Jon and I went with Neil and Casey to see a 10:10 showing of "National Treasure" with Nicolas Cage. It was entertaining but definitely not DVD-worthy. We didn't get to bed until about 2:00 this night, which is way late for us old married people. On Saturday morning, I got my hair done, and Jon and I went out to a delicious lunch at Marie Callender's after this. We sat in a booth and he sat on the same side as me--I love it when he does that (not too often). Back home, I decided to take a nap on the couch and asked Jon to wake me up at 2:10 so I could get ready to go to a wedding I had agreed to help with (I had to leave at 2:30). I heard Jon calling my name to wake me up, and I looked up at the clock: 2:25. Oh darn! My husband and I just don't share the same understanding of time! I rushed to get ready, grabbed an apple, and headed out the door by 2:35 (and I did make it on time, thankfully). I helped set up the ceremony and hand out corsages, etc., at the wedding, then drove to the reception site and set the whole thing up (centerpieces, candles, favors, table arrangements, seating charts, etc.). Not until much later in the day did I realize that, in my haste to get ready, I had not put on the navy blue dress pants I had thought I did, but instead I'd put on my black dress pants. I was wearing black pants, brown shoes, and a dark blue/white/khaki-striped shirt. I hope no one noticed. After I finished helping with the wedding around 7:30, I stopped by Taco Bell on my way home to an evening of relaxing while Jon was at a bachelor party. I also finished an editing job. On Sunday, we went to church (annual Thanksgiving service) then got a quick lunch, changed, and headed up to Hesperia to have an early Thanksgiving with Jon's dad's side of the family. And get this: it was snowing (in Hesperia)! Saddleback Mountain had the most snow on it I've ever seen. Saturday night brought some very strong winds (broke our fence in the backyard), and Sunday was uncharacteristically cold for California. We made it up to Hesperia just fine, though, and spent several hours with family (some of whom I knew, some I didn't. But a funny thing about this family is that no one ever says hello or introduces each other or introduces themselves if they know they don’t know you... Oh well). We started heading home around 6:30 and felt just exhausted by the time we got home. We didn't have much down time this weekend, so this long weekend coming up is especially enticing.

I heard the heartbeat today! It was at 160 and sounded kind of like water quickly sloshing back and forth. The rest of the doc appointment besides hearing the heartbeat was very routine. The doctor went over my bloodwork with me (everything's normal and good, and I'm not a carrier for cystic fibrosis), and she asked if I had any questions, and that's about it. Next appointment is in 3 weeks.

Several people have commented this week that I'm showing a little bit! They already knew I was pregnant, so they were "looking," but still, that is fun.

I'm cooking a good dinner for Jon and me tonight. I feel like we barely see each other during the week, and when we do, it's for a quick hello before one of us leaves for an obligation (music rehearsal or basketball or flute lessons or whatever) or a late-night dinner eaten in the living room. So tonight, it's meatloaf, potato casserole (two of Jon's favorites), and some veggies, with the last piece of pumpkin pie being saved for my husband (I even bought whipped cream--he is going to love it).

Pregnancy report
I'm now entering the second trimester! At 13 weeks 4 days, I'm feeling pretty good and am not as tired as I was a few weeks ago. My second doctor's appointment is tomorrow, and I expect it will be fairly routine, though I'm hoping/thinking I will get to hear the heartbeat. I have gained roughly 3 pounds, but I already feel like I've gained more. My waistline has definitely expanded, and most of my pants either don't fit or are uncomfortable. My skirts and shirts are all still fitting fine. A few days ago, Jon said I'm showing! That makes me happy. I want to look pregnant, not just tired/bloated/queasy.

If you would like to see my sideview belly pictures, taken so far at 8 weeks, 10 weeks, 12 weeks, and 13 weeks, please e-mail me or ask in the comments section here, and I'll send you the link to the album.

Evangelism: anytime, anywhere?
I went with several coworkers (most of our department, in fact) to a "motivational seminar" yesterday--an all-day snooze-fest with speaker after speaker attempting to get 12,000+ of us motivated by telling funny stories or telling us about how rich they are and that we can be too. After one of the speakers/assistant MCs interviewed Jessica Lynch (it was semi-interesting, but she is obviously not a public speaker), he got up and seemed to be transitioning to the next speaker. But he didn't. Slowly, he segued into the fact that we need something "spiritual" to really motivate us. He didn't use any "God" words at first. He said something like, "You just need to believe in something." I might have misheard that statement, but I do think he said that. Not 5 minutes later, he said that it does matter what you believe. "If I believe with all my heart, with all my faith," he said, "that this TV screen will fly me back to Florida tomorrow, all the faith in the world isn't going to make that happen. But if I have just a bit of faith that the airplane I board will get me home, it will happen." OK, I'm thinking, so what is the airplane? What do you believe? He still didn't say. Eventually, he worked in some "God" words and finally told us "the prayer [he] prayed in [his] heart 27 years ago"--Jesus, come in my heart, fill me up, make me into the person you want me to be (real solid). Then he had his wife come on stage, and they told the story of how they met and decided to get engaged "even though [they] didn't love each other. [They] felt God told them to get married."

While I obviously have some issues with the actual message this guy was giving (it was unclear/vague, inconsistent, and Scripturally inaccurate), I was offended (too strong a word? Maybe taken aback) by the sly, less-than-honest way in which it was offered. At our Friday night Bible study a couple of weeks ago, we talked about a book called Permission Evangelism, which, though I only read excerpts, gets a little too extreme for me but that advocates a less obtrusive, in-your-face, now-you-listen-to-me type of evangelism/witnessing. The author of that book would have definitely been squirming in his seat yesterday. At this motivational seminar for business people, we were given no schedule, no agenda, no list of the order of speakers or topics--no warning about this spiritual talk in the middle of "how to understand the stock market" and "the 40 questions to ask in sales." Then, after slowly easing his way into this very vague spiritual talk given to a very captive (and shocked) audience, the speaker then started using religious jargon ("evangelism," "I asked God to put her face before my eyes") that must have turned many off. If his talk were able to help turn one unbeliever into a believer (I say able because he never really presented the gospel and so if someone prayed his prayer for Jesus to fill him/her up and change his/her life, I don't think that does it; I say help because I know it isn't a person who causes another to believe), perhaps it would be worth it. It seems to me, though, that the talk did harm, putting believers like me into a state of dismayed awe, and turning off unbelievers and giving them another reason on their list that Christians are wacko fanatics ("We got engaged even though we didn't love each other because God told us to") who shove their beliefs down others' throats.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves
This book is hilarious. Nell got it for me for my birthday, and I read the first several pages last night. Author Lynne Truss describes me (and my kind)--sticklers--perfectly. She writes how sticklers have been "weeping friendlessly in caves" waiting for a book about punctuation to be written with a panda on the cover. In the first chapter, about the apostrophe, she writes of her meeting with a member of the (real!) Apostrophe Preservation Society (right now I can't remember if it's the Apostrophe Preservation Society or the Apostrophe Protection Society) and about how she was disappointed that the society doesn't have a militant wing to combat those who create signs like "CD's, MOVIE's, DVD's, and BOOK's" (what about climbing ladders in the middle of the night with apostrophe-shaped stencils and paint?).

I love it!

We had a great evening for Kim’s and my birthday last night. The guys took us to dinner at the Blue Bayou (the nice restaurant inside Pirates of the Caribbean) at Disneyland. We got up to D-land around 6:00 and walked to the restaurant for our 6:20 reservations. Kim ordered salmon, Scott got tri-tip, Jon got pork, and I got prime rib. It was all very good (mental note: order the pork next time--I tasted it and it was delicious). And then we ordered 3 desserts and passed them around--we were stuffed! Since the park closed at 8:00, we had time after dinner to go on one ride, so we went on the haunted mansion. Then we walked around Downtown Disney for a while. We all had a very nice time, and Scott and Kim enjoyed an evening together while Glenn and Kathy watched the kids.

I think this is the first year that we got a present for Kim, AND it’s the first year that they got a present for me--it was really cool how that worked out (I wanted to get something for Kim and didn’t expect they would get something for me, and they thought the same). I got Kim a pair of soft black-and-white-striped gloves and a khaki-colored reversible purse. She wore the gloves last night. And they got me a cute picture frame for a first picture of our baby--it is white and has little block ABC letters around the outside. And they also got me another Old Navy maternity top (my mom has already bought/sent me 3--I love them--and a pair of pants)! This one is really cute--here's a picture. It has a ribbon tie in the back too—made of the same fabric as the sweater.


Jon was such a sweetheart yesterday too… He had flowers sent to me at work (really pretty yellow, red, and maroon-yellow mix roses), and then of course he took me to dinner. When we got back to the car after Disneyland, there was a card on the passenger seat waiting for me, and that was very sweet. He had written personal/specific things next to each couple of lines of text. Then we got home, and after I showed him the gifts from my family that I had opened earlier, he took out the trash. When he came back in, he had gifts for me! I thought he was done with the gifts! He got me a really cute red-, blue-, white- and brown-striped purse (it’s reversible too to navy--in fact, it’s the same purse I got for Kim, just different colors! Jon didn’t even know this), and inside had 4 pairs of cute socks (he has noticed a lot lately how old and hole-y my socks are) and a new umbrella. He’s the best.

I had a wonderful day yesterday, spent with my husband and our friends, and couldn't have asked for a better birthday.

Weekend
We had a rather uneventful weekend, which was fine with me. After eating at Taco Bell (my first pregnancy craving! More later) with Scott and Kim, we went to Bible study on Friday night, and it was very good. Then I went to a bridal shower on Saturday, but out of the 30+ women there, I knew only the bride and one other girl, so that wasn't much fun. That evening, Jon and I went to see "The Incredibles," but it was sold out until 2 hours after the show we wanted to see, so we went to Blockbuster and home instead. We watched "Waiting for Guffman"--it has many of the same actors and is in the same vein as "Best in Show" and "A Mighty Wind." They're improv movies, meaning there was no script, and the actors were just given ideas about who their characters were and what the story line might end up being. "Waiting for Guffman" was the first of those three movies; I liked it, but I liked the other two better. We also rented "About Schmidt" but haven't watched it yet. Then Sunday was our usual wonderful Sunday--a terrific church service (Arch and Carolyn's 20th anniversary of being at the church!), food with friends at the mall, and naps and housework at home in the afternoon before Jon's basketball game.

My first pregnancy craving
I've been craving Taco Bell and Del Taco. On Friday, we went to Taco Bell, and then Jon took me to Del Taco Saturday evening for dinner, and then Sunday after church, we drove through Del Taco before meeting everyone at the mall food court. I think I would like a Mexican pizza at every meal, please.

In other news... my birthday
I turn 24 tomorrow. I haven't been thinking much about it at all, I'm sure mostly because I've been thinking more about being pregnant/having a baby. And anyway, what happens at 24? Nothing! At least at 25, I can rent a car without paying extra (we really felt this one strongly when we went on our honeymoon 2 months before Jon turned 25). What I do know is that I will have my first baby in my 24th year, and that's enough for me. :)

I told my boss yesterday that I'm pregnant (she was excited and I think tried to be chummy by asking me what our "future plans" are re: me coming back to work. I avoided that question), and then today at the end of the department meeting, she introduced a little "announcement" and I told everyone else. That was fun.

I knew, just knew, that coworker Lori would bring up the fact that my being due May 21 means I'll be out during our proposal busy season ("out" as in I'll be returning to work 6 or 8 weeks after the baby's born--no reason to clue them all in today that I won't be returning). Those were the first words out of her mouth in the meeting after everyone else's congratulations quieted down.

After we got back to our desks from the meeting, Lori said something like, “So, it’s so exciting!” and then she said that me being pregnant explains why I’ve been so testy and moody lately. Next, she said, “Because you’ve nearly bitten my head off a bunch of times in the past few weeks!” She says all this with her stupid smiling face and plays it off like she is half-joking but she really isn't.

That made me want to bite her head off now. My patience has just worn thin with her over the past few months--starting well before I got pregnant. However, I held my tongue and did not say anything rude or mad at her comment... I just played along with it like, "Yeah, so now you know why! Yeah, I haven't been feeling good."

Although her comments had me seething, and I'd still prefer not to have to interact with her (ever), they did point out to me that I haven't been acting correctly toward her. I have not "nearly bitten [her] head off," but I am impatient with her. I need to remember that I am the Christian here--and she isn't.

It's hard to deal with people you don't like.

Dreams
10/20 - I dreamt that I was Lorelai from Gilmore Girls. (Well, half the time it seemed I was Lorelai, while the other half I was a third party watching the events.) We were in some sort of old-fashioned, wood tavern or restaurant facing a river. Nothing major happened except that Luke and Lorelai kissed and, apparently, made their love public. I wouldn't have written this one down except that it was the second night in a row I had a dream (the night before was the miss-the-wedding-rehearsal dream).

10/24 - I dreamt first that I had to do some quick shopping at Ross, and two of my coworkers from my real work apparently also worked there. Debbie helped me find what I needed, and Lori kept bragging about how she had brought up the idea to get the store the automatic diaper cutter so that the employees no longer had to cut the leg holes in each diaper with scissors. Then the dream switched to me being in a big grocery store with Kim. We kept finding cool items and putting them in our cart, but I couldn't find peanut butter anywhere. We found Jif barbecue sauce. Kim found a different brand of peanut butter, but I specifically wanted Jif so I didn't take what she found. That's all I remember.

11/2 - This dream is a little more difficult to describe, because it was all over the place. I started off sitting in the living room with a mother and daughter I met the evening of 11/2 for a flute lesson consultation [they're very nice and I will start teaching the daughter lessons starting 11/16]. But that scene quickly changed to a restaurant and dinner party that included my dad. A demanding bride came in and started ordering me around, including telling me to go get her dancing clothes. Apparently, I was the reception coordinator. I ran through the restaurant and into a large lobby (of a hotel), with several children following me. We ran through lobbies and stairwells, passing some NBA players (mostly retired ones) posing for a picture along the way. I never did make it to wherever I needed to go to get the dancing clothes...

Election results
Excellent results this morning! I was able to stay up until they gave Bush 269 electoral votes around 12:15 or 12:30, but then I fell asleep. Jon was out of town last night (in Sacramento for one day), so he wasn’t there to keep me up. But I woke up this morning, and he still had 269! Looks like Kerry has made his concession call and will make a speech at 1:00 today. Woo hooooooooooo!

Some of the California propositions we didn’t want to pass did end up passing (of course), including the one providing $3 billion for stem cell research (the worst) and the one taxing 1% of all income over $1,000,000 for hospitals (darn, looks like I will have to turn down that $980,000 raise I was offered here at work). However, the one forcing companies to provide healthcare coverage for employees did not pass (good), and the one lessening the strength of the 3 strikes law also did not pass (good).

David Dreier, the congressman John and Ken (radio hosts) were trying to get out of office, still won his district at about 54%.

This was/is so exciting!

In other news...
I’m thinking about when to tell work I’m pregnant. I feel like I’m showing a little bit! But I don’t know. I wanted to wait until at least 12 weeks to tell, and I’ll be 12 weeks on Friday/Saturday. We have a departmental meeting tomorrow (but I would tell my boss before then and have her segue into any sort of announcement). What do you think--comments?

Election day
I voted this morning before work. Jon seems confident that our presidential candidate is going to win, but I'm not so sure! My presidential vote doesn't mean much in the state of California anyway, but I also felt it was very important to vote on the many propositions on this election's ballot, including ones on stem cell research, forcing companies to pay for employees’ healthcare (can you say, "Drive companies out of California"?), and lessening the strength of the 3 strikes law. I think there were 14 or 15 propositions, and I voted no on most, except for about 3 that had no fiscal impact. The only prop I voted yes on that will cost some money is on DNA testing for all convicted felons.

Also, I will be looking forward to seeing what happens with a little “controversy” ("Political Human Sacrifice") being stirred up by AM 640 talk radio hosts John and Ken--they’ve been trying to get Congressman David Dreier out of office because, even though he’s a Republican, he has a horrible voting record on illegal immigration. Dreier's district is very Republican, so it will be interesting to see if anything comes of that.

How deep the Father's love for us
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold, the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
-Stuart Townend

OK, I'm ready for the second trimester, please. All of the pregnancy books and websites and traditional wisdom say that with the second trimester come renewed energy, no more queasiness/nausea, and a greatly reduced risk of miscarriage, among other desirable improvements. I bought new lip gloss and nail polish for myself at Target on my lunch break today as a mini-celebration of almost reaching that milestone and in anticipation of that extra energy I'm supposed to get. I can paint my nails.

I came down with a sore throat/stuffy nose cold yesterday (woke up with it all of a sudden), so I'm not going to go over to Joe and Ricci's house like we'd planned to visit the parents and new baby. Even though I feel OK, I'd just as soon wait a few days to make sure Ricci feels comfortable with me coming. I keep looking on Mission Hospital's "View Our Newborns" page to see if there will be a picture of little Jeremiah (Miles), but I haven't seen anything yet.

I must be very busy to have not posted in almost a week. But I am as far away from busy at work as I've ever been. The past couple of weeks have just dragged by. If the proposal writer position weren't basically indispensable, I would wonder how much longer we'd be around, because no work is coming in for us (the reason being the sales force has been recently reorganized, and we work closely with them and depend on the sales people to bring proposal prospects to us). But really, if they were going to lay off any proposal writers, it would be proposal writer S and/or proposal writer J before me. They are slackers, slow learners, one of them has ADD and says the most nonsensical things all the time, and their proposals are sub-par. So there.

Phil and Katrina's wedding was this past Saturday. It turned out great. I had Friday off to do the bridesmaid stuff and go to the rehearsal and dinner... even took a few "girl talk" minutes with Katrina as she was quite nervous about the wedding night. The wedding was on Saturday at 11:30, and the reception was at the Summit House in Fullerton, which was really nice. Katrina was a beautiful bride.

This past week, I've had a few "sick" pregnancy days. They haven't been bad, but I'm definitely counting down the days 'til the second trimester. I'm at 10 weeks 3 days today--over 1/4 of the way through the pregnancy already.

One more tidbit of news: Joe and Ricci Brosseau's baby boy, Jeremiah (Miles) Tobin, was born late on Sunday, October 24. He weighed 7 pounds 13 ounces, was 19 inches long, and has light hair! Congratulations!

Pregnancy Dreams
For a few weeks now, I've been having very vivid dreams. I've read that this is a relatively common symptom of pregnancy. Weird! The dreams have mostly had nothing to do with our baby or babies in general. They've just been vivid and I've remembered them (strange for me). Last night, I dreamed that I completely forgot about the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner this Friday for Katrina's wedding--that I just showed up on Saturday for the wedding thinking everything was going fine.

A couple of weeks ago, I dreamed that Jon cheated on me and was not remorseful about it (I woke up sad but then realized that I'm actually married to the best man in the world). (I also read that "spouse cheating" dreams are common in pregnancy!)

Of course, now that I'm thinking about it, I can't remember the other vivid dreams I've had. I'll update periodically when I have them, though. I think they're interesting.

The cruise was great! The food was of course the best part. We were scheduled for the 6:00 "main seating" for dinner each night, and you dress up kind of nice and sit at the same table each night with a different menu. You can order as much as you want (it's free!--all except alcohol and soda). Each night, I ordered 2 appetizers, a main entrée, and a dessert. One night I had a virgin strawberry daiquiri--yum. Saturday night was the "formal" dinner, so we all dressed up.

We also went to the different comedy and musical shows, and Jon and Neil spent some time in the casino. The weather was just perfect, and we spent a couple of hours each day at the pool. Sunday was our day in Ensanada, Mexico, but we didn't stay off the boat long: Ensanada is only about a half notch above Tijuana in cleanliness and niceness. It was nicer to stay on the boat. We slept in Saturday and Sunday mornings and just had a very relaxing time!

We had the "inside information" on how to get off the boat early on Monday morning: we requested white "early debarkation" tags for our luggage and were the first called off our ship. We found out that Jon's and my deck, #2, was going to be the last to get off the ship, and that would have been around noon, even though everyone had to be out of their cabin by 7:00 or 7:30 or so. Anyway, we got off the ship by 7:30, and Jon went to work while Neil and Casey drove me home. It was all very fun!

So that was our weekend! I had yesterday off work too, and I unpacked, did laundry, went to the grocery store, and went to a tailor to get my bridesmaid dress altered for Katrina's wedding (which is this Saturday!). Now I’m back at work.

Our cruise is tomorrow! We've been planning this trip for over a year, so it's very cool that it's actually here. Neil and Casey are picking me up from our house at 1:30 tomorrow (I'm working a half day first), and we're driving up to Jon's office, since he's relatively close to the port. We'll probably make it over to the ship by 3:00 or 4:00, and I think we sail at 6:00. Saturday is our day at sea, so I hope the weather's good for doing activities. Sunday is a day in Ensanada, where Neil, Casey, and Jon have all been but I haven't. Then, we sail back to Long Beach/L.A. Sunday night and arrive Monday morning. One of the evenings is "formal" for dinner, so I'm bringing a long black dress with a silver spider webby design. I haven't worn it since 1999, but I tried it on last night and it looks just OK. It doesn't make me look like I'm pregnant--it just makes me look like I have a poochy tummy (it's a drapy/clingy fabric). Oh well!

Jon and I have never been on a cruise before, so I'm hoping Jon doesn't get seasick. :)

The doctor's appointment went well yesterday. It was basically just like an annual exam. The doctor also did an internal exam to determine how big baby is/when I'm due, but (maybe TMI for some of you guys) she said my uterus is tilted (I guess very common), so I'm going in today for an ultrasound! I get to see the baby and baby's heartbeat! I don't think Jon can come down for this appointment--it's at noon and he has a meeting at 10:00, so that's a bummer since the ultrasound is the cool thing. Anyway, just wanted to let you know everything went well yesterday!

Edit: the ultrasound was SO COOL! I saw our little baby and the heartbeat. The tech said the heartbeat is nice and strong, and I think she said it was beating at 167 (that's right--beats per minute! They're fast little tickers). After measuring the size of the baby, she said my due date will probably stay where it is at May 21--the computer calculated May 20, so we were pretty darn close with our own calculations. I got two little pictures of our bean-shaped kid, and Jon sounded excited to see those tonight. You can actually tell where the head is and even where the arm buds and legs are in the pictures. :)

A nice weekend
I think getting off work early on Friday started everything off right. We spent Friday evening at Scott and Kim's house for dinner and a rented movie ("Big Fish"--Jon and I saw this in the theaters and liked it even more seeing it Friday). On Saturday, we did lots of housework and yardwork (I used my new mop on our tile floors--loved it), but not until after we went out for a late breakfast at Ruby's (so late, in fact, that they had stopped serving breakfast, so we got lunch). Chris and Sabrina came over for dinner on Saturday night; we grilled tri-tip and had salad, potatoes au gratin, and French bread for dinner and Sabrina's homemade pazookies for dessert while we watched "Bourne Identity." (I've just noticed my tendency to sometimes italicize movie names and sometimes put them in quotations--oh well.) (Also, I did tell Sabrina that I'm pregnant--she was very excited and happy. When they came over, I told her that she was one of the only friends I'd known who had been trying to get pregnant--most of my other friends either got preg by accident or didn't tell me they were trying--so because of that, I had expected it to take a lot longer for us. I think she respected the fact that I had taken her experience into consideration.) Sunday was our usual nice Sunday: church (music, sound), lunch with friends at the food court, naps at home (and I am definitely pregnant--I slept for 2 hours!), and Jon's basketball game. We went to Scott and Kim's after the game (Scott's on the team too) and watched the Dodgers lose (sad for Jon). Also on Sunday, I told Katrina that I'm pregnant--and she too, of course, was excited. It's good to have that done now, because I can just focus on her wedding and helping her day be special.

Now I'm back to work for another week, but this will be a shortened one: I'm leaving work early again today, AND I'm only working a half day on Friday, because on Friday we go on our cruise! It's finally here! But more on that later this week...

Today is my first doctor's appointment. My cute husband is going to go with me, despite the fact that the appointment is smack dab in the middle of the day and is located nowhere near his office or any of his stores. I'm excited to talk to the doc!

Ahhhhh, Friday.
This is going to be a nice weekend. The past two have been busy (Katrina's bridal shower on the 25th; memorial service at church--Jon did sound and I played flute--on the 2nd followed by a fun but long 2nd birthday party for Sierra). And I even get to start out my weekend early today: I'm taking 3 hours of paid time off to leave at 1:30 and go get my hair cut/highlighted (I checked into this, and it's OK for me to do that while pregnant--just can't sit around inhaling from all the bottles and chemicals). Mmmm, and I think I will treat myself to a decaf frappucino afterwards (4 weeks of no coffee--even decaf--has already made me miss it a bit!).

I think we've told most everyone (besides my work) about our news... except our friends Chris and Sabrina. We met them through Nate and Louise (and although N & L know, I know they didn't tell C & S), so they are a separate set of friends from most of ours. (Chris and Sabrina go to a different church.) Anyway, I tried to get in touch with Sabrina yesterday but couldn't. I'm just a little bit worried about telling her, though, because I know they have been trying to get pregnant for well over a year. I don't know how to show my excitement and share the news but also be sensitive to how that might affect her (or not affect her--I mean, I know she'll be excited, but I'm not sure how much or even if it will hurt her). I don't think I'll flaunt the ease with which it happened for us. I was expecting a much longer wait. But, anyway, this is what I'm praying about and thinking through today.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Edit: I just remembered that I've also been wondering about whether or not to tell Katrina (college roommate who is getting married in 2 weeks). I don't want to "steal her thunder," though I don't think she would take it that way. I just don't see her in person very often, especially now. With her, I think I just need to call today or this weekend and tell her. That way it won't be a big deal on her wedding day, but she'll also know in case I don't feel good or something (then I wouldn't have to try to explain that on the day of).

A new, great, exciting update...
or The reason I haven't been posting lately

I couldn't just keep blogging as usual, when things haven't been as usual. And I couldn't start blogging about things that were going on--that wasn't the right order of events. Am I being cryptic enough for you? Here we go... I found out on Friday, 9/17, that I'm pregnant. Yes! I had to tell family and close friends before I posted on here--I don't think my grandmother would have appreciated finding out about her next great grandchild by reading it on my blog. As of today, I am about 7 and a half weeks pregnant (baby is about the size of a raspberry!), and my first doctor's appointment is Monday (this doctor group waits until at least 8 weeks). I am so excited! This is something I have been looking forward to for years. My due date is somewhere around May 21, though I'm sure the doctor will give me a bit firmer date after my appointment.

Some of the reactions of my family members and friends:

~From my mother - an actual squeal (I don't think I've ever heard my mom do this) and lots of happiness
~From my dad - "Well shucks, how did that happen?"
~From my grandmother - "Well, Katie, isn't that just absolutely perfect?"
~From Lucy - a couple seconds of silence. Then, "You are? Yaaaaaaayyy!"
~From Greg - after I told him not to cry: "Too late."
~From Scott and Kim - We were with them in the mall parking lot while they put their kids in the car, and Jon said, "We're thinking we're going to have ourselves one of those [kids]." Scott replied, "Yeah, any time in this lifetime?" and I said, "Around May 21st, actually." Kim popped her head back out of the car and asked, "What?! Are you pregnant?" Lots of smiles, hugs, and questions ensued.
~From some of our other friends - Some happy tears! They know how much I've been looking forward to this.

As far as pregnancy symptoms and morning sickness, etc., I'm feeling pretty good. There were about 10 days to 2 weeks there where I was feeling queasy or nauseous all day every day, with it being especially bad in the mornings. That made being at work all day very difficult, especially since no one at work knows--try explaining why I'm so tired and haven't felt good for so long AND that I'm not contagious, all without telling I'm pregnant! I won't announce it at work for several more weeks probably--probably until I'm just showing. Anyway, ever since last Wednesday, I've been feeling much better. I've learned I must have food in my stomach or else I start feeling bad, so I'm eating a mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack in addition to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That helps. It looks like I'll be feeling good when we go on our cruise next weekend (yes we're still going! Of course! Not like I would have really had that much alcohol anyway), and I'm hoping I still easily fit into the bridesmaid dress for Katrina's wedding 10/23--so far so good on that front.

So, that's the news! And, as long as work stays under control (it has been busier this week and last week), I'll be back to posting more regularly.
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

I promise a new, great, exciting update within the next 48 hours. Well, don't hold me to the "great" or "exciting" parts--but I'll try.

For now, here are two (digital) pictures from our trip to Europe:

In front of the cathedral in Strasbourg, France:


Heidelberg cathedral: