Our trip to Virginia
July 2005
We had such a nice time in Virginia July 3-10. The flights out there (LAX-Atlanta, Atlanta-Lynchburg) were relatively uneventful, and Nate slept most of the time. We arrived late on Sunday night and Nate met his grandfather and aunt for the first time (my mom and brother had already been out to California)! We spent the first three nights at Hanshill, my grandparents' summer house in the country. Jon, Nate, and I stayed in the air-conditioned cabin and stayed very comfortable (I was especially comfortable knowing Jon killed all of the camel crickets each night before I went to sleep).

The whole family (my grandparents, aunts, uncles, some cousins and their kids, etc.) came out to Hanshill for dinner on the 4th of July. Here is Nannie, Mama, Nate, and me:


This is my cousin's daughter, Ginna, walking in the yard at Hanshill with Jack:


Nate must have been exhausted from being handed around so much at the 4th of July party, because he slept through the night that night! I fed him at 10:00, and he didn't wake up until 6:00. That was glorious. In fact, he slept through the night (a little over 7 hours) two other nights during the trip.

We spent the days at Hanshill reading, relaxing, taking walks--not doing much, really! After the three nights out there, we spent the next three nights in town at my parents' house. The air conditioning and lack of bugs were very nice. :)





Nannie and Pop came for dinner one night:


A moth outside my parents' house (on Jon's finger):




On Saturday, July 9, we all drove to Charlotte (in a huge van my parents rented) to visit my dad's parents. It was neat to bring Nate to see them--he is their first great grandchild. We went to my dad's sister's house on Saturday night for a big party for Papa's 80th birthday. Then we stayed at Grandma and Papa's house on Saturday night and got up early Sunday to drive the 4 hours back to Lynchburg so we could catch our flight home.

We had a long layover in Atlanta (made even longer by several hours of delays--but Nate still did great). Here's Nate in the airport:




We had a great trip!

Here's a picture we took a couple of days ago that I love:


Today we looked at ourselves in the mirror and had some fun:

Nate started smiling (for real) about 10 days ago. It is so fun! Jon is the best at getting him to smile.

Here's his first real smile caught on camera:


Smiles with Dad (you can see his bandaids from his first shots):


In his carseat:


But he doesn't always smile...


We are heading to Virginia on Sunday for a week to visit my family. I'm praying the flights go well!

These pictures, which our friends Neil and Casey took, give a different perspective of Nate's birth from what I saw... :)

Here's Colleen listening at the door to hear Jon yell out that it was a boy:


Here's Jon triumphantly exiting the hospital room for the first time to tell everyone Nate was a boy and what his name, weight, height, etc. were:




Another of me in the hospital room:


It's hard to believe this was already over six weeks ago!

Here we are when Nate turned six weeks:

It's hard to believe that our baby is over 5 weeks old now! Nate's still mostly just sleeping, eating, crying (but not much), and getting bigger. We should start getting some interaction (like real smiles) from him in the coming days!

For our third anniversary, we dropped Nate off with Jon's parents and went to dinner at the Fish Market. Leaving Nate wasn't too difficult--I knew he was in good hands, and I was looking forward to some time with just Jon and me. I wondered if we would be able to talk about anything but Nate, but we did. It was nice!

The other day, Jon and I looked at each other and laughed as we realized our 3-year anniversary is in a few days. We had both not really been thinking about it. I think we will end up leaving Nate with his grandparents or some friends for a few hours and going out to dinner for our anniversary; I've really been missing sushi!

Things are still going well as we continue adjusting. Nate is still sleeping great at night, though he has gotten a bit fussier during the day since something is bothering his stomach. That something is something I'm eating--I just have to figure out what. I stopped eating dairy 4 days ago, but that isn't doing the trick, so I'm going to try something else next (either soda--because of the carbonation [but I barely have any soda anyway]--or acidic foods like orange juice and tomatoes). I started teaching flute lessons again this week and also started editing again. The flute lessons are great--just a half hour or hour and I'm done. The editing is a bit more stressful as I always feel like I have something hanging over my head when I have a job to be working on that isn't done. I did just finish a job today, and I have one more to work on, but it isn't as rushed. My goal is to work on editing just one to two hours a day when I have a job to do.

Time to sign off!

Staying home from work with Nate has been so great. I am amazed, though, at how little I actually get done during a full day! Not only do I feel very scatterbrained (a combination of the post-pregnancy hormone rollercoaster and general new mom-ness), but also there are just so many interruptions--either from Nate (not really an "interruption") or the phone or visitors or whatever. Once I start doing something (walking out the door to fold laundry, heading to the kitchen to put away a few things), I remember three things I need to do first, so I start to do one of those. Then it's time to feed Nate, a process that takes at least 45 minutes when all is said and done (feed, burp, change diaper, etc.). Then the process starts again, and before I know it, it's 5:00!

Here are some more pictures of my favorite little boy.







He's watching his mobile in this one:

So far, life with a baby is wonderful! People always warn about how difficult the first weeks are, how big of an adjustment it is, how little sleep you will get, etc., that they forget to include how wonderful the first weeks are, how you will discover 1,000 cute things about your baby (like how he heaves a big sigh after he sneezes, how his feet are long and skinny, how his eyes roll back in his head when he's full and happy, how you can get him to smile when he's almost asleep if you softly tickle his face), how you will find there is more love inside of you than you thought.

Nate is doing really well. He had his two-week checkup yesterday, and he has surpassed his birth weight (babies lose weight their first week, and the goal is for them to be back up to birth weight by week two); he now weighs 6 pounds 10 ounces. He's doing great at night, sleeping for 3.5- or 4-hour stints in between feedings. (He eats about every 2.5 or 3 hours during the day). We are loving life as parents and can't get enough of our Nate!

Nate's story
On Saturday, April 30 (the day after my last day of work), Jon and I decided to go out to dinner (Marie Callender's) just the two of us. Who knew it would be our last dinner as a two-person family? :) At dinner, I said to Jon, "You know, it could be any day now. I could have the baby tonight." We both sort of shrugged that off, though. I mean, we weren't ready! The room was a mess! I just finished with work! My due date was still three weeks away!

We got home from dinner around 8:30 p.m. and decided to continue working on the baby's room. Jon had moved the computer desk into our room earlier, and now we worked on transferring the equipment and cables, etc. I knelt on the floor and wiped all the dust off the cables. Kneeling while nine months pregnant isn't the most comfortable position, so after a few minutes I rose to my feet. This was around 9:00. That's when I felt something--like a gush. I waddled to the restroom while saying to Jon, "I think I just wet my pants!" That's when I realized what might have happened: my water broke! From the restroom I said the same to Jon, and he responded with... silence. "What?" he finally asked. The rest of the evening went by rather quickly: I finished packing the bag for the hospital, which I had started earlier that same day. I called my mom (it was past midnight there). At some point, we got in the car and drove to the hospital.

In triage at the hospital, the nurses did a test and confirmed that my water had broken; we were having a baby in the next 24 hours! They attached monitors to my belly--one to monitor the baby's heart rate and one to monitor my contractions. A nurse asked me, "Do you feel that?" but I didn't--I was having a contraction, but apparently it was very mild. These mild contractions continued coming--quite close together--while I was in triage and then after I was admitted. Slowly, they started getting stronger and I could actually feel them, but they were still mild. Because I didn't want to have to take medicine like Pitocin unless absolutely necessary, I tried to move labor along by walking the hallways in the hospital and rocking in a rocking chair in our hospital room (which was luxurious, by the way: large, with TV, VCR, whirlpool bathtub [which I couldn't use since my water had broken], places for two people to sleep in addition to the patient). Jon slept during some of this time.

By early Sunday morning, my contractions were a lot stronger but were still manageable; I could still talk through the pain. That's when I agreed to have some Pitocin. I knew that it is important to have the baby within 24 hours after the water has broken to avoid infection and other risks, and at the rate my labor was going, that didn't seem to be happening. I was started on the Pitocin (through IV), and the contractions got stronger. Much stronger. The doctor said that, once the pain got very intense, they would "check" me for the first time (the doctor does a quick internal exam to check dilation, effacement, and station). By noon, I was ready to be checked, as the pain had gotten pretty bad and I couldn't do any walking or talking through the contractions. The doctor did the exam and noted I was 4.5 centimeters dilated; then she asked, "Are you sure your water broke?" I looked at her in amazement. Yes, I was sure! The nurses had even done the lab test with the slide while I was in triage to confirm it! The doctor said that my water was, in fact, not broken. What had happened earlier had been a "high leak," but my main bag of waters had not broken. (Side note: we were told that we still should have come to the hospital.) This explained why my labor had been progressing so slowly. The doctor manually broke my water, which felt weird. And then, on came a monster contraction, then another. The combination of my (real) water breaking and all of the Pitocin they had been giving me made for some intense pain. This is when I requested the epidural.

The anesthesiologist was quick and efficient while I knelt on the edge of the bed and stayed still through two killer contractions for the numbing needle and the epidural. Ahh, sweet relief! Things progressed nicely from this point. I napped and watched the movie "Babe" for a couple of hours, made some phone calls, and visited with Scott and Kim and Jon's family. At around 5:00, the nurse checked me and said I was 8 centimeters and the baby was at +1 station. I'd be pushing soon! I was relaxed and excited. Jon and I figured this might be a good time to decide on names. Boy: we both mentioned that we had been leaning lately toward Nathaniel Shane as the boy name. That was pretty easy! Girl: of the three names we had picked, Jon's favorite was my number three, and my favorite was his number three. Hmm. We also couldn't really pick a middle name for a girl. Neither of us said it out loud, but I think we just knew it was a boy or at least had been thinking for so long that it was a boy that we just couldn't fathom it being a girl!

At 6:30, I was checked again and deemed ready to push. This was it! I had been feeling the contractions rather strongly--even through the epidural (this is normal, as the hospital gives "walking epidurals" so you can still feel your legs a bit and also still have sensation with the contractions, especially as the epidural wears off); I was even having to do some "focused breathing" through them. The pain was definitely not as bad as it had been around noon, though. So, at 6:30, with Jon on one side of me and the nurse on the other, I began pushing: 3 sets of 10 counts with each contraction. I liked pushing! It made the pain of the contraction almost nonexistent as I was focusing on something else. Jon was such a great support, too. He dabbed my face with a wet washcloth in between the contractions, and then he supported my head and one leg (a nurse supported the other) while I pushed. It was so cute--he also seemed to be holding his breath with me while I did the 10-counts. :) I pushed for an hour or so before the doctor came in and the room was prepped for delivery. With just a few more contractions and some major pushing, baby Nate was born! At 7:44 p.m., the doctor said, "It's a little.....Dad, what is it?" and Jon announced, "Boy!" They handed our son to me right away:


He was perfect! The nurse rubbed his back a bit while he was on my chest to get him to let out some more cries, and I cried myself as I held this soft, perfect little child.

Nathaniel Shane weighed in at 6 pounds, 8 ounces and measured 19 inches long, with a 9/9 on his APGARs. After he was measured and footprinted, I nursed him for the first time (with some help from my great nurse, Holly), and we enjoyed some time as a family.


My mom's flight arrived from Virginia into John Wayne just three hours after Nate was born; Scott picked her up and whisked her to the hospital, where she met her first grandchild. Nate had already had some visitors: Scott and Kim, Neil and Casey, Kevin and Amy, Grandma Colleen and Grandpa Ray, Aunt Jennifer, and Aunt Janel.

We spent Sunday and Monday nights in the hospital. I was able to get up and walk around within a few hours, and I have made a quick recovery and feel great! We all came home mid-day on Tuesday; here's Nate after his first car ride:


The pediatrician who checked Nate at the hospital told us he has jaundice. They checked his levels and told us we did not have to take home special lights to put him under, but I had to return to the pediatrician's office on Thursday to have him checked again (he was checked and was deemed OK! No special lights necessary, just "sunning" in indirect sunlight). Here is Nate sunning:


Here he is "fighting" the jaundice:


And here is the first time we caught a smile on camera! Babies don't socially smile yet at this age, but they still smile and it's still cute:


Last, here we are on Mother's Day:


Already, we are overwhelmed with love for this wonderful blessing!

Welcome to the world, Nathaniel Shane Varela
Born Sunday, May 1, at 7:44 p.m.
6 pounds, 8 ounces
19 inches long
...with a head full of beautiful dark hair

Pictures and more details coming soon. Mama, Daddy, and Baby are all doing great! :)

Thoughts as I say goodbye to work
1. I'm going to miss the daily activity/brain stimulation. It's satisfying taking a project from beginning to end, learning new things, picking up and using industry jargon without thinking anything of it. Realizing I'm going to miss this makes me thankful that I still have the freelance stuff I can do from home (when I'm ready). I plan on taking "leave" from editing until probably some time in June.

2. I'm not really going to miss anyone in particular. This is sad, I know, especially considering I've been here for 2 years. I am the only Christian in my department (of 15 people) and met very few other Christians in the company (and those I did meet weren't "buddy" material; although the male 45-year-old manager of the mail room is nice, I don't think a nice friendship was possible). And it isn't that I would have only become friends with other believers; I guess I'm just illustrating that I don't have much in common with anyone else. There are two girls I will miss, but our friendship is just surface.

3. I could have done more. Yes, my coworkers know that I'm a Christian, but I did not make enough of an effort to live that out daily or to be vocal about it. I spoke plainly and too often with those two friends about one of our fellow coworkers who frustrates us; I missed opportunities to talk about God, faith, and Christianity on general and person levels. I think I could always look back and think I could have done more, no matter the transition/life situation.

4. I am so excited! I'm right in the middle of a major life shift, moving on to something I've looked forward to for years. I never looked forward to being a proposal writer per se (though I did look forward to the idea of work in general--and I have enjoyed it). I'm excited to see what God has in store for us.

Today starts my last week of work!

Here's one of the pictures we had taken at Sears yesterday for our 3-year wedding anniversary and to celebrate the pregnancy in general (Jon is such an indulgent husband--he hates going to have his picture taken but does it for me without a word of complaint because he knows I like it):

Getting close
I feel good preparedness-wise for the baby after this weekend. Not only did I pick our pediatrician and notify both his office and my OB, but I also finished all of the pre-admission forms for the hospital and did several loads of baby-related laundry (washed all baby's clothes, blankets, and bed linens). I also wrote out a list of the other things we have left to do to be physically prepared for the baby (things left to buy, items left to set up, etc.).

Then on Saturday, after Jon put together the stroller and carseat, he and I decided to get started on the furniture rearranging we'd been planning: in order to move our computer desk from the baby's room into our bedroom, we have to move Jon's dresser to a different wall. In order to move his dresser, we have to move an antique writing desk out of our room. Instead of putting that writing desk, my favorite piece of furniture, in the garage, I wanted to work it into the living room, which was already kind of crowded in its current arrangement. Well, I had wanted to rearrange the living room anyway, because it is kind of closed off and doesn't have any room to lay down a blanket to put a baby:

(in this first picture you can also see Jon's dresser in our bedroom, which is what originally had to be moved so we could put the computer desk there)


We figured, since we were going to move around the furniture, we might as well put down the rug underlay that we never put down underneath the rug. We moved every piece of furniture out of the living room (including the bookshelf, which had to be emptied). I'm not supposed to do heavy lifting, so Jon did most all of this by himself. We put down the rug pad and the rug, vacuuming accumulated under-furniture dust along the way. Then Jon decided we needed to put new felt-bottomed feet on the couches, as the metal ones on them had been scratching the tile floors, so he went to Home Depot while I sat around feeling useless. ;) ...Do you see how this very small project of moving the computer desk into our bedroom turned into much more than we had been planning?! So, 6 hours and a Home Depot trip later, our living room is rearranged, the writing desk is out of our bedroom, and the computer desk and dresser are still in their original places. We'll do those next.
Here are the new pictures (and, yes, the dresser still in the wrong place):

I went on our church's annual women's retreat this weekend, and I loved it. Three other "younger" women went, too (by younger, I just mean that we don't have kids yet. So I guess I barely fit into this category), and we roomed together, staying up extremely late on both Friday and Saturday nights just talking. The speaker for the weekend was excellent--possibly controversial in some of her points (especially about birth control, which she believes should not be used)--but overall I really loved her main messages: the world really devalues the roles of wife and mother, telling women that being "just a wife and mother" is not enough. However, these are our God-given, God-created roles. God calls us to these roles as our primary ministry on earth. As a woman, my spheres of influence are first inside the home (husband, children, the physical house) then move outside the home (church, community). As parents, we raise children with the purpose of adding to the army of God. These ideas certainly don't jive with what most people in the world (and, frankly, in the church) believe/teach, but I really enjoyed thinking and hearing about them this weekend, and I agree with them. I am a child of God, a wife, and a mother, and that is enough.

As requested, here are some pictures...
From two weeks ago in the baby's room:


From one week ago wearing my favorite paint-covered pants:

I always used to wonder why my friends, toward the end of their pregnancies, said they wanted to be "done" with being pregnant. I'd think to myself, "But they're getting to wear such cute clothes, and their tummies look so cute, and they're getting so much more sleep right now than they will when the baby comes, and don't they want to hold on to these last weeks of being just husband and wife?" Now, I think I'm beginning to see.

The clothes: I could chuck my maternity pants out the window. I'm fine with the shirts--I still like those--but the very limited selection of pants I have to wear to work (one pair of now tight-fitting khakis, one pair black, and one pair grey that we just bought this past weekend) is getting annoying.

The tummy: Sure, I can see the cuteness factor. I like my tummy still (but ask me again when the stretch marks start forming and I may give a different answer); it's the swollen ankles/feet/hands, legs, face, and the rest of me that are getting old... not to mention the fact that carrying around ("waddling around" is more like it) an extra 30+ pounds isn't the easiest thing on one's body. :)

The sleep: I'm still of the same opinion when it comes to the sleep. I love and cherish my sleep, and even getting up two or three times a night to go to the bathroom like I'm doing now is nothing compared to what I know those first few weeks/months (years?) are going to be like with the baby.

The last few weeks of just husband and wife: Although I know I'm going to look back and reminisce with fondness about what it was like to be just the two of us--how relaxing our life was--I now understand, because of the other factors (clothes, tummy, so much anticipation) and because this baby is going to be such a blessing, the feeling of just wanting to be done!

This past Sunday after church was over, Jon found an envelope tucked into his Bible, addressed to JOHN AND KATIE VARELA. Inside was a short typed note (also in all caps) and $200 in cash!--no signature or anything. The typed note says something like, "Hope you can use this for something for the baby--maybe a crib or a glider!" We have no idea who it’s from--but it’s someone who at least knows the couple of things we still have to buy for the baby’s room. I haven't spent too much brain time trying to figure out who might be the giver(s), since they want to be anonymous, but I can't figure out if perhaps they purposely misspelled Jon's name in order to throw us off. :) But then they mentioned the crib and glider, making it obvious that they know us enough to know we need those things... Neat, huh?

I gave my notice (as in, I'm not coming back) to my boss today. I was going to do it this Friday, which is exactly 4 weeks before what I anticipate will be my last day (April 29), but I decided to do it today instead because tomorrow is the baby shower the department is throwing for me. I guess I just didn't want to go to the boss the day after this nice shower and say, "Thanks for the party. I quit." Anyway, she took the news relatively well--I can't imagine she was too surprised--and we decided we/she will probably tell the rest of the department some time next week. The semi-nice thing is that, since another proposal writer quit a couple of weeks ago (which in and of itself is a bad thing, leaving the department short yet another person when I go, but overall is a good thing since he was, frankly, a poor proposal writer), my boss has already started interviewing prospective proposal writers.

I was nervous to talk to my boss, but after it was over I realized I was more nervous in general about the finality of it: I'm actually quitting! I hadn’t had to think about it too much ‘til now. I won't be working anymore...because I will have a kid! This is going to be a huge change...

Sorry about the two-week hiatus in blogging. Things have been nice and busy at work, which leaves little time for dawdling on the internet!

We've had a nice couple of weeks, doing the same old same old during the week (work, flute lessons, etc.) and having relaxing weekends. We went out to a nice dinner at Five Crowns this past Friday night with Scott and Kim--that was a special treat. We went over to Phil and Katrina's house on Saturday evening, and the guys played Settlers for hours while Katrina and I hung out (we felt like an old married couple being so tired after staying out until 1:30). For Easter yesterday, we went to Kim's parents' house in La Mirada and enjoyed a great time--and a delicious meal--with Scott, Kim, their kids, Kim's parents, her uncle and grandmother, and Dustin and Lissa.

Saturday 3/26 marked 32 weeks--that's 8 months. I've been starting to feel a bit uncomfortable in general with all this weight in one place, but I'm still feeling good overall. On Saturday night when we were at Phil and Katrina's, I swelled up like a balloon! I think it was because we stayed up so late and it was a bit hot in their place. Good thing I had taken my wedding rings off and put them on my pinky. My feet and ankles didn't even look like my own. The swelling went down a little bit by morning, but I still don't look like myself. I might be this way through the end! Even Jon noticed when he held my hand, and then I told him to look at my feet and he just about jumped. ;)

Weekend in Laguna
Our "get-away" weekend was great. The bed and breakfast was very nice, and we would definitely enjoy staying there again. It had an "old-fashioned" feel in keeping with the history of the original house, which was built in the 1920s. The breakfast both mornings was delicious, and they also serve “refreshments” each evening from 5:00 to 7:00, so we had appetizers (cheese, crackers, vegetables, dip, wine, etc.) both nights before we went out to dinner. On Friday night, Jon had made reservations for the Cedar Creek Inn. He got lamb, and I had pork--both were delicious. We enjoyed talking and just spending time with each other; we marveled about how it felt like we were on vacation and "far away" from home, when we were really only about 10 minutes from home! After our long dinner, we headed back to the B&B and lit a fire in the fireplace. After breakfast on Saturday, we walked around the gardens and grounds at the Montage Hotel (further south on PCH--it was really pretty), walked around downtown Laguna a lot, had coffee, searched for a restaurant some other guests had told us about (The Sundried Tomato--we found it and made reservations for dinner), ate some pizza, and then went back to our suite and watched a movie (“Philadelphia Story”) and read our books. Neil and Casey came down and had dinner with us at The Sundried Tomato (now one of my new favorite restaurants, because the cream of sundried tomato soup was absolutely delicious) and also came back to the B&B with us to look around. So all in all, it was a very relaxing, low-key weekend--I loved it! We went home Sunday at about 11:00 and did things around the house for the rest of the day.

Although we didn't bring our camera with us, Jon did take a couple of pictures with his phone--maybe I can post those.

Baby shower #2
Sunday, March 6 was my second baby shower, hosted by my good friend Casey. It was so lovely and so special! I arrived with Kim a few minutes before 12:30, just as Lucy and her friend Michelle were getting there (they had gone to Mission Hills church for the morning). The other guests were my college roommate Katrina (she helped Casey host), Liz, Colleen (mother-in-law), Jennifer (sister-in-law), Shiloh, Lissa, Amy, and Kristan. Casey took a picture of me with each guest, and she had each guest fill out a scrapbook page she had pre-made--she's going to put each picture with its corresponding page, and then I'll have a nice baby shower scrapbook! We had a delicious homemade lunch of pasta salad, vegetables with dip, delectable herb/parmesan-filled tomato halves (made especially with me in mind), potato salad, ham, warm crusty bread rolls, salad with mandarin oranges, and pound cake with strawberries and blueberries for dessert. We played several fun games organized by Katrina, including the one where guests break off the length of streamer they think will fit around my stomach (I think Lucy's was the longest! Kristan's length was exactly right, so she won).

Then I opened all of the wonderful gifts: this baby bathtub with a little robe, rubber ducky, and bath toys; a monitor (excellent for us since our two bedrooms are on opposite ends of the house; a health and grooming kit I'd picked out; this Snugli carrier like the one Ricci has; a bunch of cute little learning books from Colleen and Jennifer; several very cute outfits, onesies, socks, and shirts; things for help feeding the baby (milk storage kit, etc.); blankets; a sweet card and check from my aunt; and more! Then came the "surprise gifts"--things I definitely hadn't been expecting:

--a gift from Nannie! Lucy brought it with her, but I didn't know. Nannie had made several cute, fluffy blankets--I think there are six or seven of them. All of them but one are white with different stitching along the outside (one blue, one pink, two different greens, etc.). Then one blanket is of a multi-colored fabric with corresponding multi-colored stitching. Now I know what Nannie has been sewing for the past several months when she mentioned sewing over e-mail. :)
--a gift from Nell! This wasn't as much of a surprise, because I did know she sent the gift, but it was still special. She sent an adorable soft-cover book and--how perfect--a froggy dish set (baby's first cup, bowl, spoon, etc.). A little background: in high school and into college, I ended up with a sort of frog collection, and it all started with several very cute little frog figurines Nell gave me one year. Thank you Nell!!!
--a gift from my parents. I thought my mom would probably send something, but I didn't know it would be in such a huge box--that thing must have been over 3 feet tall by 3 feet wide by 5 feet long. When I first started opening it, I thought it was a joke, because I reached in to start taking out the newspaper stuffed in the box and couldn't feel anything but newspaper. But then I saw it: it was the rocking horse that was mine as a child! That my dad made for me! That our family friend painted for me! I had no idea my mom had even saved it all these years. I'm very glad to have it--it looks so cute in the baby's room.
--a gift from Casey. Now that isn't a surprise, but the gift itself was: the most adorable crocheted hat I think I've ever seen. It has a removable flower (remove if the baby is a boy). I didn't even remember that Casey could crochet, so I wasn't expecting such a sweet gift. Everyone in the room "oohed and ahhed." :)

After the gifts, this special shower was finished. Thank you Casey!

Woah! I just viewed our blog with Mozilla Firefox (we have this on our home computer now), and it looks horrible! The fonts are messed up, and a lot of it is green. Does it look this way to anyone else? I've always used Internet Explorer. Now, on to the post:

Ashley asked if we have settled on names for the baby, but we still haven't. We have kind of stalled at three girl names and two boy names (included below with their meanings):

Girl:
Emiline (nickname Emmy) (hardworking)
Claire (clear, bright)
Anne (gracious)

Boy:
Nathaniel (nickname Nate) (gift of God)
Benjamin (nickname Ben) (son of my right hand)

I've toyed around with different first-middle name combinations:
Emiline Grace. Claire Louise. Anne Elizabeth. Emiline Anne. Benjamin Ray. Nathaniel Shane. Benjamin Reagan.

I wouldn't be too upset if we went to the hospital still with no final decision made--one or two boy names and one or two girl names would be fine with me. We could decide the name after we met the baby. :) Feel free to "vote" on your favorites!

Oh, and since my comments get deleted after a couple of months, I thought I'd include the tidbits I told in some comments below:

One thing I have noticed is how I'm unaware of exactly how big I am. In the past week, I have closed a door on myself (thought I was standing far enough back from the door, but when it went to close, it hit my belly and stopped) and scraped against a dirty car (thought I could squeeze sideways in between two cars in a parking lot, but my belly was too big and got pushed up against the sideview mirror). The usual distances/measurements I subconsciously know are right for my size body just don't work anymore!

Baby is moving and shaking all over the place this afternoon--it's so cool. I'm looking humongous, and here are the pictures to prove it:




:)

Having a kid is a scary thing. First, being pregnant is new, unknown, possibly scary since you don't know exactly what's happening in there. The idea of labor is scary (the physics of it and the pain). Then, giving birth to a tiny, helpless baby means you are 100% responsible for this human being who can do absolutely nothing for himself. If something horrible happens to the baby, it's probably because of something you did or didn't do. Scary! But, even beyond the fragile baby stage, what about "train[ing] up a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6)? How do you do that? How do you not become one of those families in the grocery store (we all know we don't want to become them--but how?)? And then, oh then, the teenage years. Scary! I can read the parenting books and listen to the wisdom of those who have done a good job before me, but it's still daunting. I pray that God will give me grace, wisdom, and peace through all the scary stages...


Yesterday, two people told me something along the lines of "You are huge!" However, I took it as a compliment from Ricci, because she knew I wanted to be showing, and her comment was followed by one about being "cute." The other commenter (a coworker) may have had some ulterior/unkind motives, but I surprised myself at how little I cared, and I replied with a sincere "Thank you." I think I had my pregnancy "pop" in the past week or so; now it's evident to anyone that I'm pregnant.

I will hit 28 weeks--7 months (and the start of the third trimester I think)!--tomorrow, so Jon will probably take a couple of pictures like we did for hitting 6 months. (The picture I was going to add for you here is just not working. It isn't the picture's fault, so don't be mad...)

We had a nice long weekend here. We spent the day together on Saturday, going to lunch in downtown Fullerton and attending a CIF high school girls basketball game later in the evening (our friend is the coach). We went with some friends over to Jon's parents' house after the game to watch the NBA All Star events that Ray and Colleen had recorded for us. On Sunday, we had a normal morning at church (this week is missions week, and the speaker was head of Campus Crusade for Christ) and spent a good time at the food court with friends after church discussing the message. That evening, Neil, Casey, and Dan came over with us to Ray and Colleen's house to have Colleen's tacos and watch the All Star game. I had Monday off from work but Jon didn't, so I went to the lab to do the one-hour glucose test (uneventful; results will be back in a couple of days) and then to Target to buy a photo album. I spent most of the rest of the day putting in all of our pictures from summer 2002-present (we don't have that many, since we have a digital camera and mostly use that). So now I'm all caught up with pictures and will be ready to start a new album when the baby comes!

And Ashley, to answer your question: we went out to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen for Valentine's Day. We didn't do much for the day (no cards or anything), because Jon prefers spontanaeity over "forced romance." He likes to surprise me with flowers or cards, etc., so he doesn't like days where it's expected. That's fine by me. :)

Since I haven't been posting much at all, I thought I'd use my answers to Nell's questions left in the comments section below as my next post.

When is your last day of work?
Although I haven't officially given a day, I think it will be Friday, April 29. That will give me three weeks before my due date.

What have you decided to tell you boss about your "maternity leave?"
I'm going to continue avoiding questions of this nature (posed by my boss, that is) until probably the end of March, when I will give one month's notice about April 29 being my last day. I'm only obligated to give them two weeks' notice, but I think a month is 1) kinder, as they will have more time to find a replacement and 2) still fairly safe, as they could let me go on the spot, but I doubt they would because I think they need me and will want me to stay as long as I can.

Will you teach your flute students through the first few months with the baby?
Yes. I plan on taking approximately a month off from teaching lessons. I'm sending home a note to my students/their parents in the next week or two to let them know I'm pregnant (I usually don't see the parents--they just drop the kids off) and that there will be a month or so of no lessons beginning around the end of May. I think this will coincide well with summer, actually, so that we can start a summer schedule of lessons for July and August. That summer schedule can be worked out so that either 1) Jon's mom could come over/help with the baby during lessons, 2) I could see about scheduling lessons during baby's nap times, or 3) we could continue evening lessons so that Jon would be home. I figure that, as long as we don't have a super fussy baby and I can make sure I feed him/her at the right times before or after lessons, it should work out well.

I'm also going to continue editing, but the logistics of that aren't as difficult, as that is completely on my own time and schedule, and I can accept or deny jobs as necessary.

:)

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, and it went well. I had a couple of things to bring up with the doctor, and she was helpful and nice. I told her about my back hurting every day (for the past several months) in the evenings, and she said I could use a heating pad. This was after I asked about a couple of other questions about uncomfortable symptoms I've been having, and so she said something like how she was sorry I was having to go through having these symptoms. I said that it is completely worth it and these things are nothing--it's true! I’m feeling great, I said, and loving being pregnant. She said, "I can tell!" I have that glow, I guess. ;o)

Update
What a boring blogger I am! The reason I haven't been updating is that nothing much has been happening. Things are going great with the pregnancy--I'm feeling good and still enjoying feeling the baby kick. This past Saturday I hit 24 weeks--6 months--and so we took a couple of pictures:





Upcoming events:
My sister Lucy is coming to visit with her friend Michelle during their spring break. They'll be here March 5-11.

A couple of days ago, Jon booked a weekend trip for us for March 11-13--I am so excited! We decided we'd like to take one last weekend trip as a two-person family, especially seeing as it will probably be a while before we can take a trip just the two of us again. This time, we aren't going far, though: we're staying at the Casa Laguna Inn for two nights in the Mission Suite. (The link hasn't been working for me today, but I'm 99% sure that's the correct website.)

Oh, and my next baby shower is going to be on March 6. So March 5-13 is going to be a fun week for me!

Same old same old
Things are going well here--and that means normal, the same, nothing new to post! Baby has been moving a lot, and that is my favorite part of pregnancy so far. I still only halfway fit my maternity clothes, but I'm wearing them anyway.

Now, on to something completely different.

One of my friends is struggling with the beginnings of infertility. I say "beginnings" because I don't think she would even label it infertility herself yet. I don't think she's ready mentally to put herself in that category. But she told me that she and her husband were starting to try to have kids well over a year ago, and she had one early miscarriage several months ago. She was one of the ones I wasn't sure how to tell when we found out we were pregnant in September. Since September, I discovered and have been avidly reading the host of infertility/adoption/pregnancy blogs out there. Some of the authors are witty, intelligent, and fun to read. Indirectly, they have given me a lot of insight about what to say (and what not to say) to this friend and how to talk to her. The other day when she was over at the house, I spoke frankly with her about what they've been going through and how I struggled with how to tell her about my pregnancy. She was candid too, telling me that it was a wonderful and very difficult day when I told her. Anyway, I'm thankful for those authors and blogs--without them, I don't think I would have known what to say.

Here are my favorites:
Chez Miscarriage - a surrogate is carrying their baby
Julia/"Here Be Hippogriffs" - "secondary infertility"--they have a son (the one "completed" pregnancy out of 7 or 8) but would like more
Uncommon Misconception - she just gave birth last week to a baby girl; dealt with placenta previa (serious condition where placenta attaches to uterine wall)
Tertia - just brought home the tiny twins
A Little Pregnant - just brought home a premie son

First baby shower
I had such a nice time at my first baby shower yesterday. I tried on a bunch of my maternity shirts in the morning and picked the one that made me look the most pregnant (this isn't me):



After church, Colleen and I went over to the Hutchins' house, and Carolyn and Ashley welcomed us in. Kari and Katrina arrived next, then Ricci (with Miles) and Jenny, Sabrina, and finally Jennaya. We enjoyed punch and had a good time talking with each other, and then we ate a delicious light lunch (quiche, fresh fruit--including blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, yum!--fresh vegetables with dip, and a light spinach-strawberry salad). Next, I opened the gifts--a very generous pile! My mom even mailed a gift to the Hutchins' house so it would be there for the shower--that was very sweet. I got a great mix of practical and fun things--some diapers, onesies, hooded towels, crib bedding (the duvet, bumper, and crib sheets), outfits, socks, bibs, rattles, teethers, etc. And I love the ducky pattern that came on a lot of the things! After the gifts, we ate a good dessert and played two word games. In all, it was a pleasant, lovely afternoon!

Sabrina came over to the house with me after the shower to help put things away and figure out where things will eventually go when we get the baby furniture. The second bedroom is starting to feel like the baby's room now!

I'm at 21 weeks 4 days!

I’m wearing a maternity shirt and pants today. Although I feel like I’m swimming in this shirt, I’m tired of wearing all my old shirts and stretching them out! This has to be the only frustrating/uncomfortable thing about the second trimester of pregnancy--not fitting into any clothes! :o) Anyway, this is a size small maternity shirt, so it doesn’t look quite as silly as some of the other ones might. Oh well! I’m sure in a couple of weeks I’ll fill out these shirts better. The pants are fitting great though.

My first shower is this Sunday! I'm so excited. Maybe I should secure a small pillow around my waist to look a bit more pregnant... :)

This weekend, Jon is flying to Florida and then driving home! Scott bought a car online a couple of weeks ago, and it’s at a dealer in Orlando. So Jon and Scott are flying to Orlando together on Saturday and driving the car straight back to California--they hope to get home by Monday night. Crazy. Jon used one of his free flights on Southwest (just had to use one ticket since it’s just one way for each of them). I hope to spend some of that free weekend time going through the second bedroom and majorly cleaning out one side of the closet to get it ready to hold baby things.

(Can you tell I have baby on the brain?)

Quick pregnancy tidbit
Jon felt the baby move yesterday! I was lying down on my side in the afternoon, and I felt a definite bubble/kick on the left side, where Baby's legs are. I put my hand there, waiting to see if I would feel it again, and I did--both from the inside and with my hand. So I called Jon over and had him rest his hand there. After a moment, I felt the baby again from the inside and said, "There! Did you feel that?" And he did! He said it was faint, but he did feel it. Cool!

Ultrasound picture
Here are two copies of the profile picture from yesterday:




We have one more picture ("Alien Baby"), but we'll have to scan it. ;)

Ultrasound
The ultrasound was this morning. It was SO COOL!!!! We got to see the profile, the face, the little hands and feet, the arms and legs, the heart (could even see the two distinct sides of the heart), the brain, the spine/lungs/skeleton, everything! And it was so fun watching him/her move. The baby stayed relatively still, but every couple of seconds he/she would move arms or legs. It was so neat. We got a picture of the profile and one of the face straight on, but that one just captures the skull (I call it "alien baby"). We did see the facial features, though--especially the nose and lips. I loved it! And I’m so glad Jon came. Then I had a regular appointment after that and that went just fine--just a check-in with the doctor...

Oh, and we did not find out if it's a boy or girl. ;)

Sorry I haven't posted in over a week, but everything has been pretty boring/normal around here! And that's good.

We had a nice New Year's. I had Friday off from work, and Jon took the day off too. We went to see the new movie version of "Phantom of the Opera." We liked it, and it reminded me of when we went to see the play several years ago. (Somewhat funny story that illustrates my gullibility: taking me to see the play was Jon's present to me for my birthday in 1999, but it was a surprise. I knew something was scheduled for that evening and that I was to dress up, but that was it. One day several weeks before the event, Jon slipped and said something like, "When we go to see--". It didn't make me suspicious at all, but Jon thought it might have. So he had his dad "accidentally tell" Jon's secret--that he would be taking me to Sea World for my birthday. I was so mad at Ray for having given away Jon's surprise, but I did not wonder at all what at Sea World would require me to dress up. When the night came and we were at a fancy dinner before the show with our two friends, the waiter asked if we were going to see Phantom. Kristen fumbled through telling him that we were actually going to Sea World. I still had no clue. That's right, I still thought we were going to Sea World--right up until we pulled into the parking garage at the theater.) Anyway, the movie on Friday was good because it made the story a little easier to understand.

For New Year's Eve, we went to Scott and Kim's house with several others and enjoyed the entertainment provided by their kids until they went to bed. We also ate good Mexican food, and then the girls sat around and talked while the guys played Settlers until (and past) midnight. We love our friends and had a great time.

On New Year's Day, Jon and I took down the Christmas tree and decorations (a much longer task than I had anticipated--but satisfying nonetheless) and ended up doing some other gratifying sorting/throwing away of accumulated junk. Then we went out to dinner with his family and watched "Napoleon Dynamite" at their house.

So, like I said, normal and boring! This week I'm looking forward to the big ultrasound on Thursday morning, and I'm also enjoying feeling the baby move a bit more often! I've felt him/her three distinct times today!

We had a nice, low-key Christmas here. Jon loved the presents I got him, including a 20GB iPod (he stayed up 'til 2:00 a.m. Christmas night putting music on it) and a DVD of one of his favorite movies ("Better Off Dead" with John Cusack). Also, as a non-planned but fun gift, when we were out doing last-minute family Christmas shopping on Thursday night, we found men's suits majorly on sale in Macy's. He got a beautiful pin-striped Kenneth Cole suit for 50% off, and I used my Christmas bonus to pay for it (the bonus covered it all except $75--not bad). This is his first real suit. Jon got me a beautiful light blue wool/cashmere pea coat (I LOVE it), a DVD ("Ever After"--love that movie!), and he's taking me shopping for a new pair of shoes. OH!--and my parents got us a digital video camera!

After we opened our gifts to each other, we went over to Jon's parents' house for the rest of the day (around 10:00). I brought potato casserole and helped Colleen with some of the rest: barbecued green beans (a good recipe!), sweet potatoes, ham, rolls, and pumpkin pie. We all exchanged gifts and then ate around 3:00. Jon spent much of the day testing out the new video camera and iPod, watching the Miama Heat beat the Lakers, and catnapping. He and I went back home around 7:30 and watched Spider-Man 2 (a gift from Jennifer).

Now it's back to the real world... but at least it's just a 4-day week (Friday off).

In pregnancy news: I feel like I have gained about 80 pounds. I think it's closer to 15, but still...

I think I felt the baby move today! I can't be positive that's what it was, but still, I'm pretty sure. I was in bed this morning, having hit the snooze button a couple of times. I rolled over on my side and was still, and then, blip! a little tappy sort of bubble. It was a couple of inches below my belly button and a bit to the left. I waited for a few minutes to see if I felt anything else, but nothing felt as strong (and anything else I felt might have been a mind psych-out). Cool!

I'm going to sit still for a few minutes after I eat lunch today to see if I feel anything. ;)

Pregnancy update
Well, there isn't much to update. None of my clothes fit me, and I feel plump, especially in areas that I didn't think needed to get any bigger... This is all for a reason, so I'm not going to obsess too much! I still haven't felt Baby move, but I've been trying to pay attention. I think sitting still after I eat is a good time to feel movement.

My grandparents gave us the stroller/car seat system I found and love for Christmas. Yay! Also, I bid on a nice, gently used white crib on Ebay and was the high bidder, but apparently I didn't meet the reserve price. I didn't want to go above my bid anyway, though, so perhaps the seller will contact me. It's a local pickup arrangement in Del Mar--would be worth it for the money saved.

In other news, I have Friday off from work and am hopeful that they'll let us go early tomorrow too. I'm not taking any paid time off this week or next week in order to save the PTO for later in the pregnancy if I want to take it then. Also, I already used several hours here and there throughout December. That's it!

Blogs I've been reading
I don't have a blogroll on my blog because the purpose of my blog is more personal- and friend-oriented. I don't write anything too interesting to anyone who doesn't know me (perhaps it isn't interesting to those who know me either...). But these are some blogs I've been reading recently:

Chez Miscarriage - Not the best language you will come across, but this woman writes very well and injects humor in surprising places. I've read her archives from March 2004 through today. Struggling for years with infertility, she and her husband have finally chosen a gestational surrogate to carry their baby. That pregnancy is in the early stages still.
The Leery Polyp - Along the same lines (including the language), this woman struggled with infertility and, along with her husband, had decided to adopt. Now at the beginning of that process, she has found out she is pregnant, but she is not too hopeful, having had numerous miscarriages before ("The pregnancy feels imaginary. Unreal. I try to picture myself getting to the point where maternity clothes are necessary, and it actually makes me laugh, it's so ridiculous, so impossible to believe... And of course I want to believe in it, but I'm terrified."). She's currently struggling with still wanting to continue the adoption process but wanting to be hopeful about the pregnancy.
The Proverbial Wife - Written by Marla Swoffer, a Christian who lives with her family in the liberal San Francisco area. Thought-provoking posts.

And, of course, my real friends:
To A Discerning Eye - Bryce and Ashley in Scotland.
Jack Flack Always Escapes - Adventures of my friend Nell, now living in New York. We met in middle school and became good friends in early high school.

18 weeks!
We had a nice time at Denny's for breakfast this morning and are just getting lots done around the house now (I cleaned our bathroom and shower, am doing some laundry, will go empty the dishwasher after this, and wrote a couple of thank you notes for Christmas gifts already received; Jon mowed the lawn, will wash one of our cars, and is doing miscellaneous yard work). We're going over to Phil and Katrina's tonight--that should be fun. It's the first time the four of us have hung out since they got married in October. Nothing else big going on today!

Random thoughts 11 days before Christmas
I finished the rest of my Christmas shopping on Saturday--with two weeks to spare! That's actually cutting it a bit close for me. I don't like big shopping crowds and aisle upon aisle of cluttered merchandise thrown every which way. Before his married days, Jon wouldn't have even started Christmas shopping yet. "Two weeks?! That's plenty of time!" That's why I do the shopping. This year, he just has to buy gifts for his dad and his friend Scott (and me).

At my doctor's appointment last week, they took some blood to do a screening for Down's syndrome and a couple of other birth defects. The doctor said the results would be in within a few days, and they would call me if there was anything to discuss. "If you don't get a call from me," she said, "consider that good news." Yesterday, I had a message on my cell phone to call the doc office to "discuss some lab results." Yikes. I called the number and waited on hold for 10 long minutes. The "lab results," though, were from a urine sample, not the blood test, and I just have some hints of a minor bacterial infection. I already got the prescription and everything is fine. But I wish they could have been a little more specific about which lab results they were calling about. Of course, even if they were calling about the blood test and there was something "wrong" with the baby, we wouldn't be changing a thing. The doctors may recommend "terminating the pregnancy" (come on, people, call it what it is: killing the baby), but we would not consider that. The reason we agreed to have the blood test done in the first place is just to know, to be prepared.

We were very busy this weekend, but it was mostly with fun stuff. The wedding on Friday went very well. Jon was very groomsmanly. I saw quite a few old friends/acquaintances (Mickeal, the Millers, Amy, the Johnsons) and even a person/family I did not want to see, but even that went very well. On Saturday after a Christmas program rehearsal, I tried to help Jon's parents move into their new house, but only being able to lift light boxes doesn't help very much. So instead, that's when I finished my Christmas shopping. Saturday night was the annual ornament exchange party. This was our third year going, and I think we had the most fun this year since we knew a few more people. I even liked the ornaments we went home with (a first!--many people bring joke/ugly ornaments, and then the several that are really neat get "stolen"). After the party, we went over to Neil and Casey's house and had a really great time sitting around and talking until way past my bed time. That caused Sunday morning's message to be a little fuzzy in my mind, but it was still good. I was back at church at 4:30 for a last rehearsal before the Christmas program, which started at 6:00. It went surprisingly well, considering the singers had never practiced with the band and the actors had never practiced with the musicians and the lighting was never planned and there had never been a dress rehearsal. Dinner out with friends after the program was a nice ending to a full but nice weekend.

And so it begins
Our [too-busy] Christmas season seems to be beginning now. Tonight is the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for a wedding Jon is in (the wedding is tomorrow--Friday--and we'll be leaving work early to get to it. I wonder why they chose a Friday for the wedding and, since they chose a Friday, why they chose a time that meant everyone, guests included, would have to take time off of work to attend). Saturday is an annual ornament exchange party. Sunday is our church's Christmas program (I'll be singing). Thursday next is a potluck at work. Friday next is another party, this one involving a white elephant gift exchange (someone want to google the origins of the phrase "white elephant"?). Janel and family arrive some time around then for a week, and we'll be taking a Varela family Christmas picture on the 22nd. Seth's first birthday is the 23rd. Amid all of this, I really do want to continue to take a step back and remember the true significance of Christmas, enjoying the activities, decorations, parties, and company, but always with Christ and God's miraculous gift in mind.

Wednesdays are my favorite week day
Wednesdays are nice because I don't have anything scheduled after work. Mondays and Tuesdays are for flute lessons, and Thursdays are for music rehearsal at church. Wednesdays are free. It makes my whole day a lot more relaxing, knowing that I'm done with obligations at 5:00. I usually just relax at home, but today I'm going to Target to shop for a wedding gift and some ornaments for an ornament exchange we're going to on Saturday.

Oh, my next doctor's appointment is tomorrow, and I'm hoping Jon can come! He hasn't heard the heartbeat yet, so it would be neat if he could hear it tomorrow. I'm over 4 months pregnant now!--and our baby is about 4.5 inches long and weighs very little (a couple of ounces).