Some pictures

First day

I wish I had thought to bring the camera this morning for Nate's first day of "big boy school." I dropped him off at 8:30 with his new teacher, and he seemed excited/curious about what was going on--no tears. I must admit, though, that I got a little teary watching him walk away while holding hands with another little boy on one side and his teacher on the other. I hope he's having fun!

Party

We had family over for Nate's birthday last night. Jon grilled hamburgers and hot dogs, and Nate ate his "happy birthday cake," which he has been talking about ever since Lucy's party a month ago. :) When we mentioned on Wednesday night that he would also be getting a few presents on his birthday, he nearly fell over with excitement--he had no idea. He got some clothes and lots of new toy cars, which I had mentioned since he didn't have any. Jon got himself Nate a remote control truck. It was a fun evening!

Lucy walking

Here's a video of Lucy doing some walking. She is consistently taking 20+ steps.

Nate

Yesterday, I brought all the paperwork to La Tierra to register Nate. To my surprise, they put up absolutely no fuss about his not having any immunizations after 18 months. I had brought a letter that included some of the state law that he can't be denied entrance into the school, but I didn't have to bring it out; I just signed their exemption request. Woo hoo! He starts this Friday, May 2.

Tomorrow is his birthday! Three years old... I can barely believe it. I'm going to run by the store today to get birthday candles and the ingredients to make an easy cake (for everyone else to eat; I still have frozen leftovers of the GFCF cake for Nate).

Holding hands

I turned around in the kitchen tonight and saw this. Nate had the proudest, cutest smile on his face showing me that he was holding Lucy's hand and leading her (sometimes a bit fast!).

Bible story

Quite a few months ago, Jon started telling Nate a Bible story every night at bed time. He started asking for them before nap time too, so I tell him one then, though I'm not as good a story teller. For the past several weeks (at least), Nate asks specifically for the story of Adam and Eve. (I think he likes the predictability of the same story each time.) He knows the story well now, and I tell it almost the same way each time, so he can complete some of my sentences.

• We start the story with Genesis 1:1, which he has memorized: "In da beginning, God cweated da heavens and da earf!"
• God decided that Adam needed a "help-Nate."
• God told Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of "knowledge of good and eeeevil."
• After they ate the fruit, they realized they had sinned, and they were ashamed, which means they were "vewy vewy sad and guilty."

So cute!

This morning

Full IEP report

Is it really Thursday already? I meant to write an update yesterday about the IEP meeting, but I spent all of my computer time listening to our recording of the meeting and writing detailed notes. I'm going to send those notes to the school district so they can include them on the IEP as an addendum.

The meeting and all in attendance were very pleasant. Afterwards, I wished I would have been a little stronger in resisting their putting Nate in the IBI tutoring, but I realized too that he probably still will do well in there, and if he doesn't, we can call another meeting.

Here are just some of my notes (with additional comments in grey). This is long, and it isn't even everything!

- We went over the few minor changes necessary in the assessments (just factual).

- Next, we went over the proposed goals:

• Occupational therapy (vestibular, grasping/drawing, tactile)
  Will use gluten-free products
• Speech/language
  Answering a variety of “wh” questions/functional language
  I asked about a goal for reducing Nate’s echolalia. The SLP said they usually don’t write a specific goal for that--usually it’s an elimination process because the child is comprehending more, and the echolalia decreases on its own.
• Cognitive skills and pre-academic
  The psychologist noted that these skills are on par for Nate’s age expectancy; she wrote goals to keep him moving along.
• Adaptive physical education
  Nate doesn't qualify for individual services for APE, but we included two related goals--using the pedals on a tricycle and learning playground games like red light green light.
• Social goals (initiating play, increase play repertoire)
• Other goal parents brought up but that was not included:
  Self-monitoring of his special diet. Psychologist and speech and language pathologist noted it was particularly difficult to write any sort of goal for this, especially because there aren’t any natural opportunities for choosing different foods at school besides what the child brings.

- Offer of program and parent response

• Special day class 8:30-10:45 five days/week
• IBI tutoring 10:45-1:30 five days/week
  I noted that the we loved the SDC—the kids were talking to each other, interacting (things Nate needs to work on), and we liked the teacher. I noted that the IBI setting did not seem this way. The kids were not interacting, and there were many more apparent behaviors. I asked, “How is he going to work on talking with other kids if the other kids don’t talk?” The district preschool program specialist answered that the SDC feels natural, much like a typical preschool; she said the IBI clinic feels more sterile and is run a little differently—it’s highly structured and they’re really focusing on goals and objectives. She said that, because it is structured with so much adult support, kids really are able to make progress toward goals, especially abstract, social skills. (Hmmm, did this really answer my question? No!)
  She continued by saying that IBI is an autism-specific class, so the kids in there do have language delays and difficulty with socialization. (She was saying this means they really do focus on the language and socialization in there, but in my mind I'm thinking, "Exactly! They have problems with those things! So how will Nate be able to interact with them?")
  The psychologist noted that the IBI tutoring we observed was the 4-year-olds class, but that the 3-year-olds IBI tutoring class has a "different ambience." I asked, then, if Nate were to meet this year’s goals, would he not be in the 4-year-old IBI? She answered that most kids do continue in the IBI—just his goals would be changing. (Another answer I didn't like. If she was confirming that I shouldn't have been comfortable with how bad the 4-year-old IBI looked, then why would it be good for Nate to be in there when he is 4?)
  The psych mentioned the mock Kindergarten program and other opportunities for inclusion and socialization/peer interaction for when kids turn 4. I asked would Nate be able to be in that mock K if he accomplishes these goals, or would we need to add more goals in order for him to be in the mock K? The psych answered that that is the goal; the SLP confirmed it is what we would anticipate, and the psych said that he is on target toward it. Jon and I noted that the mock K is what we want to shoot for.
  I said that our main concern with Nate and the IBI is that his trouble is interacting not with other children with autism but interacting with typical peers, so we are hoping for as much exposure as possible to those typical peers that is appropriate. This is the area we see him struggling the most. The SLP responded that the theory is to teach them in the smaller group so he can gain the skills, even if it’s rote, and he can generalize to the special day class. More practice, less intensive teaching. (Overall, I am not happy with their responses to my questions about typical peer exposure, since they just talked around the issue and didn't really address our concerns.)
• Group speech 15 minutes/week (this is basically nothing)
• Occupational therapy direct service 30 minutes/week
• Occupational therapy group 2x/month (with class)
  

- We talked about a transition plan; Nate will go at least the first few days (or week, or as long as I think it's needed) from 8:30-12:00 instead of all the way to 1:30. This means he'll be in the special day class until 10:45, then do lunch with the IBI class, then do recess, which ends at 12:00.

- We also discussed extended school year. Nate will attend the summer program, which ends July 25, but he will not have services in August. I pushed on this one for a while, but the only group-type program they have in August is for severely impaired children, so that wouldn't work for Nate.

Once I turn in our signed IEP and the registration packet, Nate will be starting next Friday, May 2!

IEP

We had the meeting today, and it went very well. I'm feeling sick right now (caught a really sore throat/stuffy nose/headache thing), so I'll write details soon!

Diet update

I was just reading through old posts and found the one about starting Nate on the GFCF diet. I wrote about how he had a meltdown when everyone else had pizza and he couldn't have any. That got me thinking about how extremely well he is doing with the diet now but that I haven't written about it here. When Nate wants to eat something in particular, but I say, "I'm sorry, but you can't have that. It has gluten [and/or casein] in it," he now responds by saying, "Gluten casein hurt the tummy." Then he moves on, not begging for the food or getting upset that he can't have it. If we are out and Lucy has pizza, he simply points out that it is Lucy's pizza, but he doesn't ask for any. He is starting to recognize which common items, like breads, crackers, and cookies, have gluten. It is so nice that he has become so compliant and go-with-the-flow in this area. I think part of it is that all the gluten and casein (and soy) are out of his system, so 1) his body doesn't have those addictions anymore and 2) he forgets what the foods taste like (and that he loved them so much).

This diet has been the best change we could have made for Nate.

Weight loss update week 2

I can't blame another slow week on the time during the month, can I? Looks like another half pound this week. Keeping at this pace obviously won't get me to 10 pounds in 6 more weeks, but I'll keep plugging away. (Note: I did not exercise this week beyond normal playing with the kids. Will try for more next week.)

Potty training update

I am extremely surprised at how potty training has turned into a non-issue. After the first three or four days, once I finally figured out what worked for Nate, it just turned into the new normal. I had to figure out that "making" him go every half hour, hour, or whatever didn't work because he doesn't like being told what to do. (OK, most children don't, and I do still tell Nate what to do, but in this situation it was just making him upset and wasn't getting the goal accomplished.) Here is what worked for him:

• Going without pants for a few days helped him figure out the feeling of needing to go.
• Once he figured out that feeling, he usually ran to the bathroom by himself (I'd follow).
• No rewards have been needed except for lots of praise.
• I figured out he can "hold it" for quite a long time (at least a couple of hours), so I don't need to prompt him very often to go--usually just before we leave for somewhere and after we get home.
• When he is in others' care (like in the nursery or at therapy), I tell the caregivers to ask him every once in a while if he needs to go. This seems to work fine, since he still has not quite gotten that he needs to tell someone before he goes.

He is now waking up dry after naps and in the mornings (I'm telling you--total non-issue!), though I still haven't braved putting just underwear on him overnight. :)

Lucy

Lucy started signing "please" this week--it's her first sign. She has also started saying "dee" for drink/cup. This morning, she said, "Dee!" and then signed please. Go Lucy!

Here's a video of her the other day dancing to an old VBS video.

Classroom observation

Jon and I went to La Tierra this morning to observe the possible placements for Nate. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the special day class. The class size was good (about 8 children to one teacher with one assistant), and I saw no behaviors, acting out, or stimming going on. Some of the kids were talking to each other and interacting. I think Nate would do well in there. The small group IBI setting (where they have stations set up with two to three children per therapist and they supposedly work very specifically on each child's goals) wasn't as pleasing, though: it was a bit chaotic feeling in there, the children seemed to have more issues, and the therapists weren't interacting very well with the kids. I'll have to think more about that one.

After having gone today, I am actually less sure about what I'd like to ask for for Nate. Before, when I thought the SDC was going to be full of lower functioning kids, I was against it. Now, when I see that it has some good components, I'm not sure.

Weekend pics

Observation

Two people from the school district went to Cornerstone this morning to observe Nate as part of the district's assessments of him. They attended Group for the first hour or so and saw Nate in the song time and in the first small group session, where he had speech today. I was not there, as Grampy drove Nate to therapy this morning, but I got a full report from Will.

I had been a little concerned that the observers (the school psychologist and the speech/language pathologist who originally evaluated Nate) were going to be observing him on a Friday, because 1) he is often tired by the end of the week and seems to pay less attention at Group and 2) his shadow on Fridays isn't Will; it's someone else who doesn't do a very good job of redirecting Nate if he gets distracted or whatever. However, Will said that Nate did an awesome job--he sang all the songs (sometimes on Fridays he zones out/stops singing by the end of song time, which is about 25 minutes), answered all the questions the song leader called out, raised his hand to volunteer for things, and participated very well. Will said the observers asked him (Will) a few questions, and they asked something like, "How are we even going to come up with areas for improvement for him?"

It sounds like a great morning. I'm hopeful it will add some ammunition to my argument that Nate shouldn't be put in the special day class.

Bad habits starting early?

Before I dive into some editing, I wanted to share this cute story from yesterday.

Yesterday morning, Nate found the unopened apple juice container on the counter and asked for some juice. I told him that one was warm but the one in the refrigerator was cold, so I poured him some from the opened container.

Fast forward to the end of the day, around 7:00 p.m. He ran into the kitchen and said, "I want a cold one!"

Weight loss update

It's the end of week one!

Exercise one time? Check.

Eat more "intentionally" without unwise snacking (including no more finishing the kids' food)? Check.

Weight loss? Less than half a pound.

Huh? In my experience, the first week of purposefully eating better and exercising usually shows huge results because of water weight and whatnot, but not this time! I may have chosen a bad week during my month to begin, so I'm hoping next week will be much more fruitful.

If you are doing this "challenge" along with me, feel free to update your progress in the comments section.

Pics

I just have to post these pictures from today. I tried Lucy's birthday sunglasses on her (she wore them over her eyes for a couple of minutes) and caught these cute shots.

Party pics

Had a fun time at Lucy's party yesterday. She didn't get too much into her cake, but I suspect if I had made one out of bologna or some other meat (perhaps a meat loaf), she would have devoured it. :) Nate LOVED the GFCF "happy birthday cake," though.

Potty training: a parent's equivalent to "hell week"

It looks like potty training is upon us. I hadn't planned on starting right now; I guess I didn't know when I was going to start... just not now. I think maybe it's one of those things I was hoping would go away, you know? It would be great if there were such a thing as potty training camp, where you send your child away for a week and he comes back fully trained (nights included, of course).

Here's how this all started. On Thursday, when I picked Nate up from the older kid nursery at MOPS, the worker asked, "Is he potty trained?" I answered no. She said, "That's what I thought. But when all the other kids were saying they had to go to the bathroom, Nate said he did too. So I took him, and he went." ... Wha?

Then, after his nap that day, Nate said something about going on the potty, so I took off his diaper, and he went. OK! We went the rest of the day diaperless and pantsless. It included three accidents but also three or four successes. I diapered him for bed time, and he did have a dirty diaper when I checked on him later.

The next day, Friday, he had therapy. I didn't want to keep him home because I hate having him miss therapy, so I took him. I packed a bunch of extra clothes and underwear (he didn't want to wear the plastic training pants I have) and pinned a sign on his back saying he was potty training. In the three hours of therapy that morning, he had one accident and one success. During the rest of the day, he did very well when naked and had a couple of accidents with underwear on. Another dirty diaper after bed time.

This morning, when he was playing on the computer and not wearing any pants, he looked at me and said, "Uh oh!" I asked if he had to go, and he said yes, so I rushed him to the bathroom, where he had his first (excuse all the toilet talk) BM. He was soooo proud.

So that's where we are. We'll see how the rest of the weekend goes. We have Lucy's little b-day party at the park today, where there is no bathroom, so I'll probably bring our little plastic toilet and see if Nate will use it.

Sibling fun

It's one of the best things to see your children play well together. I especially love this video because of the last few seconds; Nate says, "I found you!"



P.S. The "big boy underwear" is a whole other post (coming soon), but suffice it to say I cannot believe I'm doing this.

Accountability

OK, it's time for me to lose the last few pounds of "Lucy weight" I'm holding onto. I have 5 pounds to go to get to my pre-Lucy-pregnancy weight, but 15 pounds to get to my pre-Nate-pregnancy weight. I realize I may never get back to that pre-Nate weight. So I would like to lose 10 pounds in the next 2 months, which is totally doable at just over 1 pound per week. I am writing about this here because now I will feel accountable to someone/something. I plan on re-aligning my eating lifestyle with the Weight Watchers philosophy and also exercising more--at least once this week, then up to 2 or 3 times a week in the next month. I took my "baseline weight" this morning, so I'll check in on the blog once a week on Thursdays. Here I go!

Kitchen Q&A

I'd like to start by saying that the colors are inspired by Ricci's new kitchen. :)

• Do you feed your kids something different than you and hubby eat? Same time or different? Sometimes I wish I could change this, but I feed them something different AND at a different time. Jon gets home too late from work, so I wait and eat with him. And I just haven't gotten talented enough to make one big meal that will work for everyone, including Nate's special diet.


• How many nights a week do you cook? Ga! Do I have to answer these incriminating questions? Actually cook a meal--probably 2 nights/week. Other nights are out with ministry (e.g., Awana), take out (probably 1 night/week), or something I think of as halfway cooking, like sandwiches or a frozen pizza.


• Do you follow a recipe exactly or improvise? The first time, I follow it exactly, and then I improvise in the future to our tastes.


• Do you cook and then do dishes before you eat or do it all after? Most dishes get done before we eat... usually.


• Does hubby or kids help in the kitchen? Nate helps empty the dishwasher, and Jon sometimes does the after-dinner dishes.


• How often do you try a new recipe? Once a month or less, but I want to be better about trying more.


• Do you try to use a sparing number of dishes to cook or say heck with it and dirty the whole kitchen? Sparing number.


• Do you plan a menu or cook on the fly? Although I've tried several times in the past to start figuring out weekly menus, I've never stuck with it. On the fly.


• How many nights is the TV on for dinner? Zero for the kids, almost all the time for Jon and me! We enjoy doing this together.


• Do you grocery shop once a week or several times? Oh, several times. I always need/want something from Trader Joe's, so I go there at least once or twice a week. The grocery store I have down to once a month or so. I also go to Mother's Market for Nate.


• Do you have more cookbooks than days in a week to use them? Yes! My favorites are my own recipe book with recipes from friends and family, and my Rachel Ray "Just in Time" cookbook.


• Which wins, good tasting or good for you, if you had to choose? Hmmm... For my eating personality, good for you. That way, I can eat a ton of it and not feel terrible about myself.


• Do you like to cook dinner or bake dessert better? Bake.


• How often do you cook breakfast for dinner in a month? Never, which is funny since I love it and Jon's favorite meal is breakfast. Time to get out the eggs and bacon!

Lucy is 1

Today is our sweet daughter's birthday. She gave me a present by staying in bed until 7:00 a.m.! :)

What a fun, cute, sweet baby Lucy is. Her favorite things are her brother, any of his toys, telephones/remote controls, and her daddy. Her favorite activities are eating meat, pointing to pictures of people she knows, cruising along the furniture (she just took one small step not holding onto anything last night, too!), crawling super speed to Jon when he gets home, and laughing when I ask her to say "Mama."

It feels like she has gained some weight this past month, which would be good, so we'll see about that at her doctor's appointment on Friday.

We're having a small get-together on Saturday at the park where we'll play and let Lucy eat cake. I ordered one from The Sensitive Baker--it's GFCF so Nate can have it too!









(The birthday girl today)

Refreshed

We had a great weekend in Big Bear on the marriage retreat. Eight other couples went, including all of our closest friends, so we had a great time going out to meals, talking, hanging out in the cabin, going on walks, etc. Jon and I went on the Alpine Slide--that was fun. We also found Pine Summit, the Christian camp where he went to AWANA scholarship camp as a kid. Perhaps the best part of the weekend was sleeping all night through 'til 8:00 or 9:00 a.m. two nights in a row. Woo hoo! :)

It's the little things

My best friend is coming over today to watch the kids while I go to get my hair done. I haven't gotten it done in about 4 months (longer for a cut), which, in the world of hair color, is a long time. I'm rrrrrrreally looking forward to it!

Nice visit

We just got back an hour ago from dropping my mom off at the airport. It always feels like she hasn't stayed long enough, which I guess is a good thing. We had a great weekend, including coffee out a couple of times, a trip to the Spectrum for Nate to go in the fountains and ride the carousel (a special treat), In-n-Out and a shopping trip (with the kids, who behaved very well), a good Easter dinner at our house, and a dinner/movie out for Jon and me. We took Nate and Lucy to therapy on Monday, and Mama got to see the beginning part of Group, where Nate sings songs with the other kids (it is SO cute) before they split off into smaller groups.







Since it's such a bummer to have my mom gone, it's really nice to have something out of the ordinary to look forward to: Jon and I are going on our church's second annual couples retreat this Friday-Sunday while Nate and Lucy stay with Jon's parents. It's in Big Bear, so Jon plans on going snowboarding, and I plan on spending some nice time reading, maybe scrapbooking, and spending lots of non-snowboarding time with Jon. :)

P.S. All of the pictures on my blog are always "clickable"--click on one and you will see it full size.

Quick hello

I haven't updated the blog because my mom's here and we're having so much fun. But I wanted to write that Operation Lose the Paci has gone quite well. Nate has taken a nap every day since we got rid of the pacifier, though I have had to lie with him in his bed 'til he falls asleep, and then he hasn't slept very long, but that's OK. He woke up in a major funk that lasted well over an hour on Thursday and Friday after naps, but yesterday he was happy in less than 10 minutes. The sleep at night, what I was most worried about, has been better than it has been in weeks, maybe months. I'm serious. I can barely believe it. He is getting up at 6:00 a.m. after having not woken crying in the night. (Knock wood.)

Off for Easter dinner!

A dreaded day

Nate still uses a pacifier for nap time and overnight, and his desire to use one has gotten stronger since he started the m-B12 a couple of months ago--I've had to tell him no pacifier during the day a lot more lately. I've been noticing his teeth/bite getting much worse (you know the thumb-sucker bite I'm talking about), so that's the main reason I decided to nip the paci use in the bud.

This morning, we did it. Nate and I walked outside and gave his pacifier to the garbage man. "Give pacis to garbage man to give to other babies. No more pacis for Nate," Nate said. We had been talking about it for a week, so even though I decided it might be a terrible idea to go cold turkey, we did it anyway since I wanted to follow through with what we had been talking about. Nate said no and held onto the pacifier when he realized he was really going to have to hand it over, but I urged him once and he gave it to the man (who probably thought we were crazy).

So that was 5 hours ago, and we are just about to enter nap territory. Pray for me if you read this! :)

P.S. One of the reasons I thought to do this today is that my mom is coming into town tonight (yay!). She can help me keep him busy in the next few days to keep his mind off of the pacifier.

1:30 p.m. update: I can barely believe it, but he is asleep for his nap. There were some tears (about 20-30 minutes), but then I laid down with him in his bed until he fell asleep--about 20 more minutes. I can handle doing that for a few days. I'm more worried about overnight, though, as I know he wakes early in the morning (2:00-3:00 a.m.), finds his paci, and goes back to sleep (I hear him in the monitor). I'll update! :)

Assessments update (I'm long-winded!)

Nate's assessments at the school district went very well yesterday, and some other interesting things occurred too! First, he had the speech/psych eval with the school psychologist and a speech/language pathologist (SLP). Then, he had an occupational therapy eval, followed by a break when I took him to In-n-Out. Then we went back for his adaptive physical education eval. The interesting stuff happened in the speech/psych assessment, so I'll write about that since he did well in the OT and very well in the APE assessments (followed direction very well, could do all of the physical activities the APE evaluator wanted him to).

During most of the speech/psychology assessment, I sat outside of the cubicle where Nate was with the assessors, but I could see them through a window and hear them too. (I was filling out a comprehensive behavioral inventory of Nate.) He did so well, and it was so fun to watch/listen to him when he didn't know I could. He was compliant and so smart, showing he knows all of his letters and numbers and can do many of the cognitive exercises they had him do (e.g., look at four pictures, like a pair of pants, a shirt, a pair of shoes, and a lamp, and decide which object doesn't belong). He repeated 40 or 50 words after the SLP as she checked his pronunciation, and he did some very basic pretend play with toy animals. He also performed consistent with his normal capabilities, meaning he misused pronouns like he normally does, he showed a lack of imaginary/creative play skills, and he exhibited his slight echolalia.

Toward the end of their assessment, I finished with my paperwork and went into the cubicle with them. They had some good things to say about Nate (isn't it so nice when others think your child is cute?), and the psych asked me what some goals I have for Nate are. I wasn't expecting the question, so I wasn't completely prepared, but I mentioned a few (and then I e-mailed her later in the day with the ones I had written down at home; see * at end of post for that list) and said that they are mostly social in nature (like interaction and conversation with peers), since he is doing well in most other areas.

Then, and this is getting to the interesting part, the psychologist told me that they will probably offer a placement where he is in their "Special Day Class" half the day and then in a small group Intensive Behavioral Intervention (IBI) setting (2 to 4 kids with a therapist; this is just like ABA) the other half. This is interesting because, according to all the special ed law I've been learning, no program is supposed to be put together for Nate until the IEP meeting (next month), and they aren't supposed to try to fit him into their current programs but tailor one to him. So, essentially, this woman had already decided how to fit Nate into what they "usually" do by just spending a hour with him, not even reading the parent's behavioral inventory or considering what was most appropriate for him. At this point, I did not make any mention of my knowledge, as I consider it an advantage to know what they are planning to "offer," so I can decide how to prepare for the IEP to ask for what we want for Nate.

I asked what the Special Day Class (SDC) looks like. The psych said it is comprised of kids with "mild to moderate" disabilities, and not just autism. This does not sound good for Nate, seeing as he is now on the "mild" end, and how is he going to improve his social skills if he is surrounded by other children who also don't talk to each other? Anyway, thinking about this, I asked what the possibilities are of a half day in the regular preschool with a 1:1 aide (and the other half of the day in the small group IBI, which I think is a good idea for Nate). The psych pretty much said no. "We usually do that when the kids are closer to 4," she said. (Again, another violation of law, as what they "usually" do doesn't matter; it's what is appropriate for this particular child. It's also supposed to be what is the least restrictive environment for this child, meaning the most exposure to typically developing peers.) "The placement in the SDC for Nate," she said, "is at the highest end of the spectrum of where we place kids. He needs the SDC first to develop the functional skills to be able to go into the regular preschool." I disagree. How is the SDC going to give him the skills to talk to typical kids?

I scheduled a date with the school to observe the SDC and the IBI setting. I'll go to the school a week before Nate's IEP (which is April 22) and sit in on both settings. However, I saw the kids in the SDC while we were doing Nate's APE assessment outside during their recess, and I already don't think he would thrive in there. All of these kids were walking around on their own, not talking to each other, some exhibiting moderate behaviors/stims.

I asked Nate's ABA supervisor at Cornerstone today what she thought. She said she agreed with me that the SDC isn't a good idea for Nate, so I asked her to come to the IEP meeting with us, and she said yes. It will be nice to have her there as a professional who knows the terminology and can back me up on what I want for Nate, especially since she has known him for over a year, and these evaluators have known him for less than a day.

So, overall, I was pleased with the assessments and am actually glad the psychologist "tipped her hand" to me. Now I'm motivated to come to the IEP with documentation and support for placing Nate where I think he should go, whereas if I didn't know what the district was thinking, I would assume they wouldn't place him in the SDC. It's a bummer that some of the bad things I heard about school districts in the seminars I've attended are turning out to be true.

*Here is the list of goals I sent the psychologist:

• conversation turn-taking
• perspective taking (theory of mind)
• expressive, creative language (not just labeling items or expressing wants)
• imaginary play skills
• initiation of play with peers
• conversation with peers
• using words instead of screaming when frustrated
• self-monitoring with his special diet--that he will ask a parent or adult before he eats any food, and that he will know not to eat some of the obvious "no" foods like pizza
• appropriate initiation and interaction with peers during recess
• no resistance to holding hands with adult for safety purposes
• decrease in his desire to watch things spin (this may be an OT/vision therapy area)
• hand washing on own
• getting undressed on own and getting dressed with minimal assistance
• appropriate response to social comments/questions ("How are you?" "I like your shirt" etc.)
• ability to answer all types of "Wh" questions

Assessments

Nate's school district assessments are tomorrow. These will set the stage for where the district wants to place him, so it's important that they get these assessments right. I'm praying the evaluators are thorough, knowledgeable, and compassionate with a love for children/Nate, and that Nate is rested, cooperative, and "himself."

Do I really sound like this? :)

Translation: "This is Katie. Just calling hi to say. And... eeand... eand... [blah blah] ... hamburger and..."

Oops

The poor guy in this story came up with an original idea to propose to his girlfriend. It went more than a little bit wrong, but the only reaction his girlfriend can muster? Childish insensitivity. The guy says, "Now she is refusing to speak to me until I get her a new ring." Give me a break!

Lucy's first day

Today was Lucy's first time at therapy; she had a half hour of PT and a half hour of "infant stim," where they basically just play with the child and work on interaction, speech, social stuff. All morning, I kept telling Lucy how big a girl she was for getting to go to school like her brother. I told her what fun she was going to have. All the while, she smiled at me adoringly, having no idea what I was saying. That's because I was really saying those things for my own benefit, trying to ignore the fact that my baby needs therapy and I knew she was going to cry through it.

I stayed with her for the first part, PT, when the therapist asked me to. Lucy mostly cried the whole time, not liking that the therapist was making her lean over and reach for things, which was uncomfortable. Lucy doesn't have some of the "fall" reflexes (e.g., she doesn't try to stop herself when she falls backward).

When the time came for Lucy's infant stim half hour to start, that therapist came in to take her: it was Will (Nate's favorite ABA therapist--the one who came to our house for months for his in-home therapy and still works with Nate as his shadow at Group)! Lucy knows Will. She reached for him and, get this, put her head down on his shoulder and didn't even look for me as he walked away with her. Thank you, God! For this half hour, I was in my parent meeting for Nate, which was near where Lucy was with Will, and I didn't hear a peep of crying the whole time. :) Phew!

Here she is, ready for her first day

Look how cute

Baby pictures of my husband... and can you see now why I think Lucy looks so much like him? It's in the eyes and face/head shape. Here are four of Jon and then one of Lucy.

Weekend

We had a busy but sick weekend here. Nate came down with a cold on Thursday, and Lucy and both I had it by Saturday. We still managed a few cute pictures, though...



And Lucy's new daily activity: pulling up on someone's leg in the kitchen, making cooking or cleaning nearly impossible.



Our first family pictures with no one crying (Jon set up the camera on auto, and we told Nate to smile at the red light. Lucy didn't get the smile down, but oh well).

Lucy at 11 months

Lucy is in the midst of a possible-sickness-but-might-just-be-bad-teething week. I don't remember Nate's teething ever being this bad, but I think we got off easy with him in that regard.

Besides the sickness/teething, Lucy is doing so well! I can't believe she will already be a year old in just a few weeks (April 2). She is finally consistently sleeping at night, going to bed between 7:00 and 8:00 and waking at 6:00 or so (I go in there at 6:30). She started pulling up a few weeks ago and has also taken a few cruising steps along the furniture. Her favorite time of day is bath time, especially if Nate is in there with her too. She also loves the park, and she squeals with laughter if Nate pushes her in the swing. (Of course, she only gives me a grin if I push her. It's all about brother.)

She repeats "Mama" and "Dada" if prompted, but I'm not sure if she knows what the words mean. She does say "ba" for ball and also says "ba ba" and waves her arm for bye bye.

She will eat almost anything I put in front of her, but her favorite things are meats (especially bologna), salty things, blueberries, breads, and green vegetables. She does refuse most cheese, beans, and avocado (but I do sneak avocado into baby food, because who couldn't love avocado eventually? It's my favorite food.). I'm suspicious that she might be sensitive to milk, but that might be my paranoia because of Nate.

She still hates being left in the nursery at church, especially at AWANA since that's in the evening. I think in the mornings in the nursery, she stops crying pretty soon after I leave, but she cries nearly the whole time in there on AWANA nights (over 2 hours). It has improved a bit now that she's mobile, though.

Lucy is a content, usually easy-going, sweet baby. :)

Today's pictures and videos

Nate blowing dandelions today




...and then getting excited about arriving at the park:



Lucy the other night sort of saying a word:

Law day

The all-day seminar I went to on Saturday for special education law was really informative, interesting, and jam-packed with stuff I'm putting to use right away. I'm writing a more descriptive post about it on my autism blog, but some of the main points I walked away with are

• don't let the school district try to fit Nate into one of their existing programs. He is to have an individualized program that is most appropriate for him.
• keep everything in writing. If I do make a phone call, follow it up with an e-mail detailing all agreements, so I have record of them.
• tape record the IEP meeting (and give written notice first).
• have the district explain everything. If it's written Nate will have an hour of speech, then with whom? One on one? In a group? If in a group, how many other children? And what types of abilities will those other children have? etc.
• think beyond what is currently available at the school.
• get independent assessments for Nate if possible.
• remember: in these proceedings, my goal is the successful and appropriate education of my child.

Yesterday (Sunday), I wrote an e-mail to our district's special ed director, explaining how we had Nate's transition meeting over 3 weeks ago but have yet to hear anything about his assessments or IEP, etc., and I had a message first thing this morning from the district with dates for his assessments. Sometimes it just takes a little prodding, I guess.

On my autism blog, I'll also detail some of the actual law (IDEA) we went over.

IFSP to IEP

I just had Lucy's IFSP (individualized family service plan) meeting this morning. At this stage, it's just a formality, really--I just signed some papers--and now her services will start through Regional Center. Now I will schedule her 2 hours per week with Cornerstone (1 hour PT, half hour OT, half hour "infant stim").



Also, I'm signed up to attend an all-day "Law Day" tomorrow, put on by TACA. This will help prepare me for Nate's IEP (individualized education program) process with the school district, which has already started.