I always used to wonder why my friends, toward the end of their pregnancies, said they wanted to be "done" with being pregnant. I'd think to myself, "But they're getting to wear such cute clothes, and their tummies look so cute, and they're getting so much more sleep right now than they will when the baby comes, and don't they want to hold on to these last weeks of being just husband and wife?" Now, I think I'm beginning to see.

The clothes: I could chuck my maternity pants out the window. I'm fine with the shirts--I still like those--but the very limited selection of pants I have to wear to work (one pair of now tight-fitting khakis, one pair black, and one pair grey that we just bought this past weekend) is getting annoying.

The tummy: Sure, I can see the cuteness factor. I like my tummy still (but ask me again when the stretch marks start forming and I may give a different answer); it's the swollen ankles/feet/hands, legs, face, and the rest of me that are getting old... not to mention the fact that carrying around ("waddling around" is more like it) an extra 30+ pounds isn't the easiest thing on one's body. :)

The sleep: I'm still of the same opinion when it comes to the sleep. I love and cherish my sleep, and even getting up two or three times a night to go to the bathroom like I'm doing now is nothing compared to what I know those first few weeks/months (years?) are going to be like with the baby.

The last few weeks of just husband and wife: Although I know I'm going to look back and reminisce with fondness about what it was like to be just the two of us--how relaxing our life was--I now understand, because of the other factors (clothes, tummy, so much anticipation) and because this baby is going to be such a blessing, the feeling of just wanting to be done!

This past Sunday after church was over, Jon found an envelope tucked into his Bible, addressed to JOHN AND KATIE VARELA. Inside was a short typed note (also in all caps) and $200 in cash!--no signature or anything. The typed note says something like, "Hope you can use this for something for the baby--maybe a crib or a glider!" We have no idea who it’s from--but it’s someone who at least knows the couple of things we still have to buy for the baby’s room. I haven't spent too much brain time trying to figure out who might be the giver(s), since they want to be anonymous, but I can't figure out if perhaps they purposely misspelled Jon's name in order to throw us off. :) But then they mentioned the crib and glider, making it obvious that they know us enough to know we need those things... Neat, huh?

I gave my notice (as in, I'm not coming back) to my boss today. I was going to do it this Friday, which is exactly 4 weeks before what I anticipate will be my last day (April 29), but I decided to do it today instead because tomorrow is the baby shower the department is throwing for me. I guess I just didn't want to go to the boss the day after this nice shower and say, "Thanks for the party. I quit." Anyway, she took the news relatively well--I can't imagine she was too surprised--and we decided we/she will probably tell the rest of the department some time next week. The semi-nice thing is that, since another proposal writer quit a couple of weeks ago (which in and of itself is a bad thing, leaving the department short yet another person when I go, but overall is a good thing since he was, frankly, a poor proposal writer), my boss has already started interviewing prospective proposal writers.

I was nervous to talk to my boss, but after it was over I realized I was more nervous in general about the finality of it: I'm actually quitting! I hadn’t had to think about it too much ‘til now. I won't be working anymore...because I will have a kid! This is going to be a huge change...

Sorry about the two-week hiatus in blogging. Things have been nice and busy at work, which leaves little time for dawdling on the internet!

We've had a nice couple of weeks, doing the same old same old during the week (work, flute lessons, etc.) and having relaxing weekends. We went out to a nice dinner at Five Crowns this past Friday night with Scott and Kim--that was a special treat. We went over to Phil and Katrina's house on Saturday evening, and the guys played Settlers for hours while Katrina and I hung out (we felt like an old married couple being so tired after staying out until 1:30). For Easter yesterday, we went to Kim's parents' house in La Mirada and enjoyed a great time--and a delicious meal--with Scott, Kim, their kids, Kim's parents, her uncle and grandmother, and Dustin and Lissa.

Saturday 3/26 marked 32 weeks--that's 8 months. I've been starting to feel a bit uncomfortable in general with all this weight in one place, but I'm still feeling good overall. On Saturday night when we were at Phil and Katrina's, I swelled up like a balloon! I think it was because we stayed up so late and it was a bit hot in their place. Good thing I had taken my wedding rings off and put them on my pinky. My feet and ankles didn't even look like my own. The swelling went down a little bit by morning, but I still don't look like myself. I might be this way through the end! Even Jon noticed when he held my hand, and then I told him to look at my feet and he just about jumped. ;)

Weekend in Laguna
Our "get-away" weekend was great. The bed and breakfast was very nice, and we would definitely enjoy staying there again. It had an "old-fashioned" feel in keeping with the history of the original house, which was built in the 1920s. The breakfast both mornings was delicious, and they also serve “refreshments” each evening from 5:00 to 7:00, so we had appetizers (cheese, crackers, vegetables, dip, wine, etc.) both nights before we went out to dinner. On Friday night, Jon had made reservations for the Cedar Creek Inn. He got lamb, and I had pork--both were delicious. We enjoyed talking and just spending time with each other; we marveled about how it felt like we were on vacation and "far away" from home, when we were really only about 10 minutes from home! After our long dinner, we headed back to the B&B and lit a fire in the fireplace. After breakfast on Saturday, we walked around the gardens and grounds at the Montage Hotel (further south on PCH--it was really pretty), walked around downtown Laguna a lot, had coffee, searched for a restaurant some other guests had told us about (The Sundried Tomato--we found it and made reservations for dinner), ate some pizza, and then went back to our suite and watched a movie (“Philadelphia Story”) and read our books. Neil and Casey came down and had dinner with us at The Sundried Tomato (now one of my new favorite restaurants, because the cream of sundried tomato soup was absolutely delicious) and also came back to the B&B with us to look around. So all in all, it was a very relaxing, low-key weekend--I loved it! We went home Sunday at about 11:00 and did things around the house for the rest of the day.

Although we didn't bring our camera with us, Jon did take a couple of pictures with his phone--maybe I can post those.

Baby shower #2
Sunday, March 6 was my second baby shower, hosted by my good friend Casey. It was so lovely and so special! I arrived with Kim a few minutes before 12:30, just as Lucy and her friend Michelle were getting there (they had gone to Mission Hills church for the morning). The other guests were my college roommate Katrina (she helped Casey host), Liz, Colleen (mother-in-law), Jennifer (sister-in-law), Shiloh, Lissa, Amy, and Kristan. Casey took a picture of me with each guest, and she had each guest fill out a scrapbook page she had pre-made--she's going to put each picture with its corresponding page, and then I'll have a nice baby shower scrapbook! We had a delicious homemade lunch of pasta salad, vegetables with dip, delectable herb/parmesan-filled tomato halves (made especially with me in mind), potato salad, ham, warm crusty bread rolls, salad with mandarin oranges, and pound cake with strawberries and blueberries for dessert. We played several fun games organized by Katrina, including the one where guests break off the length of streamer they think will fit around my stomach (I think Lucy's was the longest! Kristan's length was exactly right, so she won).

Then I opened all of the wonderful gifts: this baby bathtub with a little robe, rubber ducky, and bath toys; a monitor (excellent for us since our two bedrooms are on opposite ends of the house; a health and grooming kit I'd picked out; this Snugli carrier like the one Ricci has; a bunch of cute little learning books from Colleen and Jennifer; several very cute outfits, onesies, socks, and shirts; things for help feeding the baby (milk storage kit, etc.); blankets; a sweet card and check from my aunt; and more! Then came the "surprise gifts"--things I definitely hadn't been expecting:

--a gift from Nannie! Lucy brought it with her, but I didn't know. Nannie had made several cute, fluffy blankets--I think there are six or seven of them. All of them but one are white with different stitching along the outside (one blue, one pink, two different greens, etc.). Then one blanket is of a multi-colored fabric with corresponding multi-colored stitching. Now I know what Nannie has been sewing for the past several months when she mentioned sewing over e-mail. :)
--a gift from Nell! This wasn't as much of a surprise, because I did know she sent the gift, but it was still special. She sent an adorable soft-cover book and--how perfect--a froggy dish set (baby's first cup, bowl, spoon, etc.). A little background: in high school and into college, I ended up with a sort of frog collection, and it all started with several very cute little frog figurines Nell gave me one year. Thank you Nell!!!
--a gift from my parents. I thought my mom would probably send something, but I didn't know it would be in such a huge box--that thing must have been over 3 feet tall by 3 feet wide by 5 feet long. When I first started opening it, I thought it was a joke, because I reached in to start taking out the newspaper stuffed in the box and couldn't feel anything but newspaper. But then I saw it: it was the rocking horse that was mine as a child! That my dad made for me! That our family friend painted for me! I had no idea my mom had even saved it all these years. I'm very glad to have it--it looks so cute in the baby's room.
--a gift from Casey. Now that isn't a surprise, but the gift itself was: the most adorable crocheted hat I think I've ever seen. It has a removable flower (remove if the baby is a boy). I didn't even remember that Casey could crochet, so I wasn't expecting such a sweet gift. Everyone in the room "oohed and ahhed." :)

After the gifts, this special shower was finished. Thank you Casey!

Woah! I just viewed our blog with Mozilla Firefox (we have this on our home computer now), and it looks horrible! The fonts are messed up, and a lot of it is green. Does it look this way to anyone else? I've always used Internet Explorer. Now, on to the post:

Ashley asked if we have settled on names for the baby, but we still haven't. We have kind of stalled at three girl names and two boy names (included below with their meanings):

Girl:
Emiline (nickname Emmy) (hardworking)
Claire (clear, bright)
Anne (gracious)

Boy:
Nathaniel (nickname Nate) (gift of God)
Benjamin (nickname Ben) (son of my right hand)

I've toyed around with different first-middle name combinations:
Emiline Grace. Claire Louise. Anne Elizabeth. Emiline Anne. Benjamin Ray. Nathaniel Shane. Benjamin Reagan.

I wouldn't be too upset if we went to the hospital still with no final decision made--one or two boy names and one or two girl names would be fine with me. We could decide the name after we met the baby. :) Feel free to "vote" on your favorites!

Oh, and since my comments get deleted after a couple of months, I thought I'd include the tidbits I told in some comments below:

One thing I have noticed is how I'm unaware of exactly how big I am. In the past week, I have closed a door on myself (thought I was standing far enough back from the door, but when it went to close, it hit my belly and stopped) and scraped against a dirty car (thought I could squeeze sideways in between two cars in a parking lot, but my belly was too big and got pushed up against the sideview mirror). The usual distances/measurements I subconsciously know are right for my size body just don't work anymore!

Baby is moving and shaking all over the place this afternoon--it's so cool. I'm looking humongous, and here are the pictures to prove it:




:)

Having a kid is a scary thing. First, being pregnant is new, unknown, possibly scary since you don't know exactly what's happening in there. The idea of labor is scary (the physics of it and the pain). Then, giving birth to a tiny, helpless baby means you are 100% responsible for this human being who can do absolutely nothing for himself. If something horrible happens to the baby, it's probably because of something you did or didn't do. Scary! But, even beyond the fragile baby stage, what about "train[ing] up a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6)? How do you do that? How do you not become one of those families in the grocery store (we all know we don't want to become them--but how?)? And then, oh then, the teenage years. Scary! I can read the parenting books and listen to the wisdom of those who have done a good job before me, but it's still daunting. I pray that God will give me grace, wisdom, and peace through all the scary stages...


Yesterday, two people told me something along the lines of "You are huge!" However, I took it as a compliment from Ricci, because she knew I wanted to be showing, and her comment was followed by one about being "cute." The other commenter (a coworker) may have had some ulterior/unkind motives, but I surprised myself at how little I cared, and I replied with a sincere "Thank you." I think I had my pregnancy "pop" in the past week or so; now it's evident to anyone that I'm pregnant.

I will hit 28 weeks--7 months (and the start of the third trimester I think)!--tomorrow, so Jon will probably take a couple of pictures like we did for hitting 6 months. (The picture I was going to add for you here is just not working. It isn't the picture's fault, so don't be mad...)

We had a nice long weekend here. We spent the day together on Saturday, going to lunch in downtown Fullerton and attending a CIF high school girls basketball game later in the evening (our friend is the coach). We went with some friends over to Jon's parents' house after the game to watch the NBA All Star events that Ray and Colleen had recorded for us. On Sunday, we had a normal morning at church (this week is missions week, and the speaker was head of Campus Crusade for Christ) and spent a good time at the food court with friends after church discussing the message. That evening, Neil, Casey, and Dan came over with us to Ray and Colleen's house to have Colleen's tacos and watch the All Star game. I had Monday off from work but Jon didn't, so I went to the lab to do the one-hour glucose test (uneventful; results will be back in a couple of days) and then to Target to buy a photo album. I spent most of the rest of the day putting in all of our pictures from summer 2002-present (we don't have that many, since we have a digital camera and mostly use that). So now I'm all caught up with pictures and will be ready to start a new album when the baby comes!

And Ashley, to answer your question: we went out to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen for Valentine's Day. We didn't do much for the day (no cards or anything), because Jon prefers spontanaeity over "forced romance." He likes to surprise me with flowers or cards, etc., so he doesn't like days where it's expected. That's fine by me. :)

Since I haven't been posting much at all, I thought I'd use my answers to Nell's questions left in the comments section below as my next post.

When is your last day of work?
Although I haven't officially given a day, I think it will be Friday, April 29. That will give me three weeks before my due date.

What have you decided to tell you boss about your "maternity leave?"
I'm going to continue avoiding questions of this nature (posed by my boss, that is) until probably the end of March, when I will give one month's notice about April 29 being my last day. I'm only obligated to give them two weeks' notice, but I think a month is 1) kinder, as they will have more time to find a replacement and 2) still fairly safe, as they could let me go on the spot, but I doubt they would because I think they need me and will want me to stay as long as I can.

Will you teach your flute students through the first few months with the baby?
Yes. I plan on taking approximately a month off from teaching lessons. I'm sending home a note to my students/their parents in the next week or two to let them know I'm pregnant (I usually don't see the parents--they just drop the kids off) and that there will be a month or so of no lessons beginning around the end of May. I think this will coincide well with summer, actually, so that we can start a summer schedule of lessons for July and August. That summer schedule can be worked out so that either 1) Jon's mom could come over/help with the baby during lessons, 2) I could see about scheduling lessons during baby's nap times, or 3) we could continue evening lessons so that Jon would be home. I figure that, as long as we don't have a super fussy baby and I can make sure I feed him/her at the right times before or after lessons, it should work out well.

I'm also going to continue editing, but the logistics of that aren't as difficult, as that is completely on my own time and schedule, and I can accept or deny jobs as necessary.

:)

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, and it went well. I had a couple of things to bring up with the doctor, and she was helpful and nice. I told her about my back hurting every day (for the past several months) in the evenings, and she said I could use a heating pad. This was after I asked about a couple of other questions about uncomfortable symptoms I've been having, and so she said something like how she was sorry I was having to go through having these symptoms. I said that it is completely worth it and these things are nothing--it's true! I’m feeling great, I said, and loving being pregnant. She said, "I can tell!" I have that glow, I guess. ;o)

Update
What a boring blogger I am! The reason I haven't been updating is that nothing much has been happening. Things are going great with the pregnancy--I'm feeling good and still enjoying feeling the baby kick. This past Saturday I hit 24 weeks--6 months--and so we took a couple of pictures:





Upcoming events:
My sister Lucy is coming to visit with her friend Michelle during their spring break. They'll be here March 5-11.

A couple of days ago, Jon booked a weekend trip for us for March 11-13--I am so excited! We decided we'd like to take one last weekend trip as a two-person family, especially seeing as it will probably be a while before we can take a trip just the two of us again. This time, we aren't going far, though: we're staying at the Casa Laguna Inn for two nights in the Mission Suite. (The link hasn't been working for me today, but I'm 99% sure that's the correct website.)

Oh, and my next baby shower is going to be on March 6. So March 5-13 is going to be a fun week for me!

Same old same old
Things are going well here--and that means normal, the same, nothing new to post! Baby has been moving a lot, and that is my favorite part of pregnancy so far. I still only halfway fit my maternity clothes, but I'm wearing them anyway.

Now, on to something completely different.

One of my friends is struggling with the beginnings of infertility. I say "beginnings" because I don't think she would even label it infertility herself yet. I don't think she's ready mentally to put herself in that category. But she told me that she and her husband were starting to try to have kids well over a year ago, and she had one early miscarriage several months ago. She was one of the ones I wasn't sure how to tell when we found out we were pregnant in September. Since September, I discovered and have been avidly reading the host of infertility/adoption/pregnancy blogs out there. Some of the authors are witty, intelligent, and fun to read. Indirectly, they have given me a lot of insight about what to say (and what not to say) to this friend and how to talk to her. The other day when she was over at the house, I spoke frankly with her about what they've been going through and how I struggled with how to tell her about my pregnancy. She was candid too, telling me that it was a wonderful and very difficult day when I told her. Anyway, I'm thankful for those authors and blogs--without them, I don't think I would have known what to say.

Here are my favorites:
Chez Miscarriage - a surrogate is carrying their baby
Julia/"Here Be Hippogriffs" - "secondary infertility"--they have a son (the one "completed" pregnancy out of 7 or 8) but would like more
Uncommon Misconception - she just gave birth last week to a baby girl; dealt with placenta previa (serious condition where placenta attaches to uterine wall)
Tertia - just brought home the tiny twins
A Little Pregnant - just brought home a premie son

First baby shower
I had such a nice time at my first baby shower yesterday. I tried on a bunch of my maternity shirts in the morning and picked the one that made me look the most pregnant (this isn't me):



After church, Colleen and I went over to the Hutchins' house, and Carolyn and Ashley welcomed us in. Kari and Katrina arrived next, then Ricci (with Miles) and Jenny, Sabrina, and finally Jennaya. We enjoyed punch and had a good time talking with each other, and then we ate a delicious light lunch (quiche, fresh fruit--including blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, yum!--fresh vegetables with dip, and a light spinach-strawberry salad). Next, I opened the gifts--a very generous pile! My mom even mailed a gift to the Hutchins' house so it would be there for the shower--that was very sweet. I got a great mix of practical and fun things--some diapers, onesies, hooded towels, crib bedding (the duvet, bumper, and crib sheets), outfits, socks, bibs, rattles, teethers, etc. And I love the ducky pattern that came on a lot of the things! After the gifts, we ate a good dessert and played two word games. In all, it was a pleasant, lovely afternoon!

Sabrina came over to the house with me after the shower to help put things away and figure out where things will eventually go when we get the baby furniture. The second bedroom is starting to feel like the baby's room now!

I'm at 21 weeks 4 days!

I’m wearing a maternity shirt and pants today. Although I feel like I’m swimming in this shirt, I’m tired of wearing all my old shirts and stretching them out! This has to be the only frustrating/uncomfortable thing about the second trimester of pregnancy--not fitting into any clothes! :o) Anyway, this is a size small maternity shirt, so it doesn’t look quite as silly as some of the other ones might. Oh well! I’m sure in a couple of weeks I’ll fill out these shirts better. The pants are fitting great though.

My first shower is this Sunday! I'm so excited. Maybe I should secure a small pillow around my waist to look a bit more pregnant... :)

This weekend, Jon is flying to Florida and then driving home! Scott bought a car online a couple of weeks ago, and it’s at a dealer in Orlando. So Jon and Scott are flying to Orlando together on Saturday and driving the car straight back to California--they hope to get home by Monday night. Crazy. Jon used one of his free flights on Southwest (just had to use one ticket since it’s just one way for each of them). I hope to spend some of that free weekend time going through the second bedroom and majorly cleaning out one side of the closet to get it ready to hold baby things.

(Can you tell I have baby on the brain?)

Quick pregnancy tidbit
Jon felt the baby move yesterday! I was lying down on my side in the afternoon, and I felt a definite bubble/kick on the left side, where Baby's legs are. I put my hand there, waiting to see if I would feel it again, and I did--both from the inside and with my hand. So I called Jon over and had him rest his hand there. After a moment, I felt the baby again from the inside and said, "There! Did you feel that?" And he did! He said it was faint, but he did feel it. Cool!

Ultrasound picture
Here are two copies of the profile picture from yesterday:




We have one more picture ("Alien Baby"), but we'll have to scan it. ;)

Ultrasound
The ultrasound was this morning. It was SO COOL!!!! We got to see the profile, the face, the little hands and feet, the arms and legs, the heart (could even see the two distinct sides of the heart), the brain, the spine/lungs/skeleton, everything! And it was so fun watching him/her move. The baby stayed relatively still, but every couple of seconds he/she would move arms or legs. It was so neat. We got a picture of the profile and one of the face straight on, but that one just captures the skull (I call it "alien baby"). We did see the facial features, though--especially the nose and lips. I loved it! And I’m so glad Jon came. Then I had a regular appointment after that and that went just fine--just a check-in with the doctor...

Oh, and we did not find out if it's a boy or girl. ;)

Sorry I haven't posted in over a week, but everything has been pretty boring/normal around here! And that's good.

We had a nice New Year's. I had Friday off from work, and Jon took the day off too. We went to see the new movie version of "Phantom of the Opera." We liked it, and it reminded me of when we went to see the play several years ago. (Somewhat funny story that illustrates my gullibility: taking me to see the play was Jon's present to me for my birthday in 1999, but it was a surprise. I knew something was scheduled for that evening and that I was to dress up, but that was it. One day several weeks before the event, Jon slipped and said something like, "When we go to see--". It didn't make me suspicious at all, but Jon thought it might have. So he had his dad "accidentally tell" Jon's secret--that he would be taking me to Sea World for my birthday. I was so mad at Ray for having given away Jon's surprise, but I did not wonder at all what at Sea World would require me to dress up. When the night came and we were at a fancy dinner before the show with our two friends, the waiter asked if we were going to see Phantom. Kristen fumbled through telling him that we were actually going to Sea World. I still had no clue. That's right, I still thought we were going to Sea World--right up until we pulled into the parking garage at the theater.) Anyway, the movie on Friday was good because it made the story a little easier to understand.

For New Year's Eve, we went to Scott and Kim's house with several others and enjoyed the entertainment provided by their kids until they went to bed. We also ate good Mexican food, and then the girls sat around and talked while the guys played Settlers until (and past) midnight. We love our friends and had a great time.

On New Year's Day, Jon and I took down the Christmas tree and decorations (a much longer task than I had anticipated--but satisfying nonetheless) and ended up doing some other gratifying sorting/throwing away of accumulated junk. Then we went out to dinner with his family and watched "Napoleon Dynamite" at their house.

So, like I said, normal and boring! This week I'm looking forward to the big ultrasound on Thursday morning, and I'm also enjoying feeling the baby move a bit more often! I've felt him/her three distinct times today!