Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I was tagged

Here are my answers.

On Marriage...

How long have you been together?
9 years, married for 5 and a half

How old is he?
30

Who eats more?
Sad to say, but I think I do. As my friend Casey says, Jon eats to live, and I live to eat.

Who said I love you first?
Jon did. It was on my sister's birthday and we were in my parents' kitchen.

Who is taller?
Jon

Who sings better?
I do. :) But Jon has a good voice.

Who is smarter?
Jon is way smarter in the street smarts/general knowledge category. I can handle book smarts pretty well, but that serves barely any purpose outside of school.

Who does the laundry?
I do.

Who does the dishes?
I usually do.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
I do.

Who pays the bills?
I recently took over this job, and I like it for the most part.

Who mows the lawn?
Right now we don't have a lawn, so neither. When we do have a yard, Jon takes care of it.

Who cooks dinner?
I do (does making sandwiches count too?).

Who drives when you are together?
Definitely Jon. I get a little nervous driving when Jon is in the car... silly, huh?

Who is more stubborn?
Hmmm.... probably I am.

Who kissed who first?
Jon kissed me.

Who asked who out?
Jon insists that I threw my phone number at him, but he asked me out. Our first real date was seeing "October Sky" in the theater.

Who proposed?
Jon did--when we were visiting Hanshill (in VA) with my family.

Who is more sensitive?
I am.

Who has more friends?
Jon does.

Who has more siblings?
We both have two younger siblings. Good thing Jon isn't a "typical first child." I am.

Who wears the pants in the family?
Jon does.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Mother & babe

We've had a nice, low-key weekend with lots of family time... yay! Today, I had Jon take a few pictures of me with Lucy. I barely have any of me with the kids, since I'm usually the one behind the camera.


Friday, February 01, 2008

Book review: Seeing through new eyes

Last week, I finished reading Seeing through new eyes: Changing the lives of children with autim, Asperger syndrome and other developmental disabilities through vision therapy by Melvin Kaplan. Dr. Van Dyke at the Rimland Center tipped us off to this book and the work this author/doctor does. I had never heard of anything like it.

Kaplan uses prism lenses (special glasses) and vision therapy to alter how people see and perceive their world. He posits that many "undesired" behaviors we see in autism--toe-walking, hand-flapping, dragging hands along walls, stimming, staring at spinning objects (like Nate does)--are children's coping mechanisms, their "logical strategies for adapting to sensory disturbances" (p. 45). These children are "seeing" 20/20 but are not perceiving correctly. He writes that these behaviors are not the problem; they are the solution! They show us what is going wrong perceptually.

He writes that children's toe-walking, stimming with their hands, touching walls when they move "stem from their inability to handle both themselves and space simultaneously. To orient themselves, they flap their hands or touch objects, providing sensory input that tells them where they are in space" (p. 18). Many people with autism have problems with orientation of self (where am I?) and/or organization of space (where is it?).

The purpose of ambient prism lenses is "to actually alter perception in ways that cause patients to reoganize their visual processes[...]. The behavioral changes caused by this alteration of perception often are instantaneous and dramatic. Patients with autism or related disabilities have spent a lifetime developing strategies to compensate for their visual deficits. By the time they arrive at the optometrist's office, these strategies--eye turns, postural warps, self-stimulating behaviors, etc.--are habitual and ingrained. Ambient prism lenses instantly create a new visual world, in which those adaptive mechanisms are no longer either necessary or relevant. As a result, patients must rapidly re-awaken previously suppressed visual processes, in order to make sense of their altered surroundings" (p. 34). Kaplan believes that altering these patients' perception can level the playing field in a way, making it possible for other therapies to be even more effective.

Kaplan includes many interesting and relevant case studies in addition to descriptions of the tests he uses in his practice (including tests for non-verbal patients).

This book was a page turner for me, not only because I found the case studies so interesting, but also because I saw so many children I know reflected in the pages. I see many children at Nate's therapy center walking on their toes while dragging one hand along a wall while a therapist leads them by the other hand. Though I've read of other explanations of some of the behaviors (e.g., toe-walking is the body's response to painful GI tract problems), many of Kaplan's explanations really resonated with me.

I'm not sure if Nate is an excellent candidate for vision therapy, as he doesn't display some of the markers Kaplan mentions multiple times. Nate doesn't toe walk. He doesn't drag his hands along walls. He doesn't flap his hands regularly. However, here are the tidbits in the book I did highlight that describe Nate:

"[Individuals with autism] display a fetish for numbers and letters, as well as spinning objects [...]. Higher visual development, in contrast, involves smooth eye movements and visual search patterns. The autistic pattern is marked by static attention, which is unsustainable, where the latter involves dynamic attention and is sustainable. Dynamic attention requires a concentration of internal energy, and patients who cannot coordinate their eyes are unable to achieve this level of concentration" (p. 55).

"Sometimes children will be comfortable watching certain sections of a video, but cover their ears, scream, or turn their eyes away during other sections. Such behaviors provide valuable insights into the type and amount of visual and sensory input a patient is capable of handling" (p. 61).

There are other times when Nate seems to completely zone out/stare into space when a question is asked, and I've often interpreted it as sensory overload, which may include visual/perceptual components.

I plan on recommending this book to anyone who asks for my "long list" of autism treatment information.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

AWANA

This is my third year helping with the Cubbies (3-4 year olds) at our church's AWANA program. I think it is such a terrific program and a wonderful way to help kids hide God's word in their hearts. I am amazed at how well 3 year olds can memorize scripture and then recall it weeks or months later. I am also amazed at how completely exhausted I am every Wednesday night after helping wrangle 24 kids!

Tonight was leader thank you night. Here are two of my favorite notes:


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Sa-mommy



I love "tune and a half" too. :)

Silly Lucy, cute Lucy, and coy Lucy:


Monday, January 28, 2008

Diapers

For all you moms of young ones, you have to check out Diapers.com. I just bought the same diapers I buy at Costco at the same price, with free shipping on orders over $50 (and, if I buy a Costco-sized pack for Lucy and for Nate, that's always over $50). They take manufacturers' coupons (you have to mail them in, and then they apply the coupons to future orders) and give a discount toward future purchases if you spend over a certain amount. They also have wipes and other baby products.

If you do end up buying from here, would you input my referral code? You'll get $5 off your first order, and I also get a $1 credit. My code is KAVA1225.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Observations after two weeks on m-B12

Welcome to the new permission-only blog! :)

We've been giving Nate the at-home methyl-B12 shots for two weeks now. His sleep is back to acceptable levels (not great, but acceptable)--he's going to bed at a regular 8:00 and getting up usually between 6:00 and 7:00, with night wakings still common. We put a gate on his door, which is helping.

At the end of every day this past week (Monday-Friday), I sat down and thought, "Wow, today was a pretty good day." No major meltdowns, generally good cooperation, good language. Nate has also started asking a few questions in the last week to 10 days, including, "Who it is?" when I answered the door and he couldn't see who it was, and "Mama, where are you?" a couple of times (he seemed to be saying that one more to himself than actually calling out to me, but still, it's a great step). He has never asked questions before.

In general, Nate just looks healthier: his complexion is smoother and brighter, and the bumps on his legs are better. I attribute these changes to the diet but also recognize that m-B12 could be contributing.

The actual shot-giving is not too fun. It requires two of us (one to hold down, one to give), and Nate doesn't like it at all. He still cried this last time, but he didn't act like the shot hurt him, so that's good. I'm planning on asking the doctor this week for some EMLA (numbing) cream.

Overall, I'm pleased with the lessening of bad side effects and am excited to see what other positive changes occur.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Home ownership: not so glamorous

Well, the exciting thing around our house this week involved our entire master bedroom closet collapsing. The long board attached to the wall finally gave way after 30 years of tension, and that board was the only thing holding up the pole/rod and all of our clothes and stuff.

I've been spending nap time today and yesterday browsing online for different closet systems and equipment we can install ourselves instead of just re-screwing the old, sagging board and rod back in there. I've dreamily looked at the custom closets with drawers, shoe compartments, varying height hanging rods, etc., but we will probably get some wire shelves and rods and install them ourselves. It'll still be nicer than what we had. Meanwhile, all of our clothes are neatly piled in strategic places around the house!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Privacy

[Edit: I'm going to leave this post at the top of my blog for another few days, and then I'll change the blog and send out the e-mail permissions. As I said, I want everyone who reads already to be able to continue to read, whether or not I know you're there. :)]

I've decided to turn this blog into a "permission only" blog. Since I post so many pictures and personal/family information, I don't want just anyone to be able to see it. I want everyone who reads now to continue to read, and anyone else who comes along and has a genuine interest is welcome too, especially those looking for autism information. To read the blog, I need to invite you to join by adding your e-mail to my list, and I think you'll have to log in to be able to view the blog. If I don't know your e-mail address and you want to be added, please either comment with your e-mail address (you can be a bit sneaky by adding spaces or words so that spammers don't find your address. For example, k a t i e "at" yahoo "dot" com) or e-mail me at my first and last name dot cox dot net.

Thanks for understanding!

Furniture

We currently have a cheap-o, all-wires-and-other-junk-exposed, no-drawers Ikea computer desk in our kitchen. I'm looking for a nice-looking, decent quality desk or armoire to go in its place. It needs to be 40" wide or less and, ideally, have a file drawer, a place for our small printer, and drawers for pens and accessories. I'm looking at the $500-1000 price range.

Here are some of the not-quite-perfect ones I've found:

This one has lots of great storage and some cool features, but I'm not crazy about the louvered doors.

I love the closed look on this one (full info here), but it is too wide.


This one (full info here) is pretty close, though I'm not sure about the quality.


I liked this one a lot and almost got it, but I rethought it since it didn't have a place for the printer and also couldn't bear the weight of resting elbows on the desk part.


I have looked at Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, Ethan Allen (too expensive and not my style), Ballard Designs, and Home Decorators Collection.

Where do you shop for furniture like this?

Edit: I found something that will work very well for us. Yay! :)

Monday

This is how I found Nate sleeping last night when I went to check on him.


And this is what Lucy looks like when she has a cold. :(

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Let's dance!

I put on the video from this past summer's VBS, which we haven't watched in months. Nate knows many of the words and motions! It is so joyful to hear children singing praise songs, even when they don't fully understand what they're singing.



Thursday, January 17, 2008

Pictures

Some cuteness from this week.

Nate used my duster on the banister and kept telling us he was painting.


Lucy with her grammy.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Aha!

Nate came down with a high fever on Friday (it was 103.7 when we took it that evening), and he was lethargic, fussy, tired, and had no appetite throughout the weekend. Jon stayed home from church with him yesterday. Today, his fever is finally gone, and he broke out in a rash. I was proud of myself for knowing it's roseola. I don't know what the incubation period is, but so far Lucy hasn't exhibited any symptoms (fever). Yay for unharmful illnesses! :)

Friday, January 11, 2008

Milestone

Lucy is crawling! She has been close for a few weeks now, but last night she decided to get her legs up underneath her and scoot to something she really wanted. So far, she has only gone a few "steps," and she keeps one leg sort of straight with that foot on the ground.

It's fun to watch Lucy hit each little milestone. During the past couple of weeks, she has also started giving kisses, clapping, waving, and, just yesterday, playing peekaboo. She still doesn't have any teeth (!), but she is gumming a whole bunch of foods anyway (just tried and liked hot dog this week. I "skinned" it to help with the no teeth thing.).



Here's Nate in my shoes. The only way I can get him to look like he's sort of smiling is to have him "wink." When he smiles, he says "Eeeee" but doesn't look happy.



And Lucy disliking her first taste of deli meat turkey...


Thursday, January 10, 2008

Getting used to insensitivity

I wasn't going to post about this, but I've been thinking about it all morning, so I'm at least going to write about it and then might or might not publish the post.

Last night, I went early to our Cubbies classroom at church to set up for AWANA. The school teacher was still in there, so she and I talked while I set up. I had Nate and Lucy with me, so Lucy sat in the stroller and I set up some crayons and coloring sheet to occupy Nate. (It was quite cute: the sheet was a picture of Noah and the ark, and after I told Nate that, he started singing the "Who built the ark?" song, which we haven't sung together in some time.)

Nate's autism came up. The first thing the teacher said was, "Oh, I had two boys in my class last year with autism," and she raised her eyebrows and cocked her head in an expression of "can you believe that? Just my terrible luck." She talked about how some days were OK, but other times one or both of the boys would just be unmanageable, and she'd "finally just have to send one home."

I'm sure I'm a little hyper-sensitive right now as I'm running on way less sleep than I need, but still, come on lady! I'm a mom to one of those boys!

My first thought was, "Well, I just hope Nate doesn't end up with a teacher like her one day." But he probably will. I'd like to prepare myself for it now, not be blindsided or shocked when it happens. Even teachers who may end up loving Nate would not choose to have "someone like him" in their classrooms, because it means more work for them. And when they read the piece of paper that says they're teaching a boy with autism this year, they don't see the cute, funny, aiming to please, smart boy they'll be teaching; they see a piece of paper, words, AUTISM.

Just like many parents begin praying for their children's future spouses years ahead of time, I can begin praying for Nate's future teachers--that God would prepare their hearts and pave the way for Nate, placing him in the right classrooms with the right teachers and classmates.

There, I feel better! :)

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Fashion

I've spent Lucy's nap time looking for some boots to buy with some editing money. I've never really had boots, and I like the look of them under jeans. I want some basic, brown, ankle- or calf-height, not too pointy toed but not round toed boots. Here's what I've found....






You have to be kidding me. And these are just the ones under $150!

I have found a few cute pairs I like (not these!), but I fear the toes are too pointy for my feet.



Here is a cute pair from Target (thanks, Shey), but I forgot to include as part of my requirements that it needs to be from a place that accepts Paypal. :)

Monday, January 07, 2008

Start of the week

Jon is home very sick today, poor guy.

Nate, Lucy, and I are in the kitchen. Nate is "washing dishes" in the sink, and Lucy is having a ball with Trader Joe's bags and empty bottles on the floor. Who needs toys?


Saturday, January 05, 2008

Things to remember

Jon and I went to dinner last night (we tried a new restaurant, French 75, and loved it while Jon's dad came over to our house; the kids were already asleep). We talked about some of the cute things Nate has been doing lately and how we don't want to forget them.
  • No matter the time of day, if he wants to eat, he says, "Time to fix dinner!"
  • Just a few weeks ago, he would say "keekeeboowa" for computer. Now he pronounces it correctly.
  • A few times lately, he has asked for a spanking. When Jon drove him to therapy the other morning, Nate spent some time in the car screaming because he didn't want to go. After a few minutes, he said, "Spank! Spanking!" It's sad but cute.
  • He does really well at the park when other children are around. He waits at the top of the slide for the child in front of him to go down, and then he sees that the child is off the bottom of the slide before he goes. He learned this mostly at therapy.
  • He thinks every baby is Lucy. When we went to visit my new niece (Jon's sister's third child), Nate went right over and gave her a kiss. A minute later, he explained, "Kiss Wucy!"
  • After a bath, he likes to walk around "free" for a minute. He comes out of the bathroom, beaming, and exclaims, "Jaybuwd!"

A not-so-cute side note: he has gotten up for the day between 4:15 and 4:45 a.m. every morning since we returned from Virginia. It was like a treat today when he made it until 5:00.

Thursday, January 03, 2008