The benefit of appeal

One of my favorite parenting concepts out of Shepherding a Child's Heart is the idea of appeal. The idea isn't new, but I credit the book with giving it to me. Anyway, the gist is that children are to obey the first time, without delay. However, while a child is in the process of obeying, he/she may make an appeal for the parent to change his/her mind. If at all possible, the parent should say yes to the child's request. If the parent's answer still is no (often accompanied by an explanation), the child should still continue obeying without complaint. (All easier said than done, of course.)

Nate has just begun to understand and implement this concept, and it certainly has done wonders to erase whining and to make him feel like his voice is heard. The light bulb moment for him was with his video game. When the timer went off and/or I told him time was up, he would whine and complain. Then I explained to him that, if he stops playing immediately and is on his way to turn off the system, he may ask for more time. I also explained that sometimes I would be able to say yes, and sometimes I would still say no; either way, he must not complain. It took a few days of reminders from me, but now Nate totally gets it and has also been very successful in continuing to obey even when I say no. I now delight in purposely setting the timer to a shorter time so I can gift him with an extended few minutes when he makes a proper appeal. (I do that every few days so he won't come to expect the extended time each day.)

Small successes in parenting are so sweet, especially when they accompany a very difficult week with a 3 year old.

Cute friends

Maggie and Lucy play well together and are just so cute!



Curren and Levi play OK together as long as Levi doesn't try to tackle Curren (and even when he does, Curren seems to take it in stride. Levi kind of just bounces off of him anyway, since Curren is so solid!). (Should I tell Levi that Curren outweighs him by at least 20%? Maybe that's why Levi feels the need to show his dominance.)

This isn't the best picture, but at least they were sitting still!

Letting go

The other day, I gave Nate and Lucy a tiny bit of freedom: on the way to the park by our house, I pulled Levi in the wagon up our hill and down the other hill to the bridge (if you've been here, you know what I'm talking about). I let Lucy and Nate walk by themselves the other way to the bridge (down a grass hill, through a greenbelt). They were out of my sight only for a short time, but still, to them this was a big deal. It got me thinking about how this was a small picture of what parenting is about: training and teaching my children until I think they're ready for a step away from me, and then giving them that freedom. I've met many mothers who say something along the lines of "All I want to do is protect my babies and make life as wonderful and happy as possible for them." They will "go to bat" for their child in the classroom, no matter what the child has been disciplined for. They will keep bringing that forgotten lunch to school, no matter how many times the child leaves it at home. That's a disservice. When those mothers' children go off to college (if they ever let them!), do you think professors are going to be concerned with those kids' happiness? When those mothers' children enter the work force, do you think their bosses will be concerned with their happiness? Of course not. Yes, my job as mother is to love my children, protect them as their age requires, and hopefully provide them with a wonderful life. But I also believe I'm here to teach them how to function in the world (how to be a light in that world!), how to make wise decisions. As I train and protect them, my motherly wisdom will also dictate when the time is right to allow new freedoms and choices. So yeah, that tiny freedom on the way to the park the other day was almost nothing, but it was a step in the right direction.

Cambria

Jon and I had a wonderful, relaxing, good-food-filled weekend. My favorite place we ate was Indigo Moon, where we shared the roasted pumpkin poblano soup and each had a delicious entree. We drove up the coast and saw the elephant seals on Saturday morning and also found a different beach to stroll on. We visited a winery in the afternoon and did a tasting. It was just so nice to have the whole weekend together.

Happy anniversary

Happy anniversary to my sweet husband of 8 years!








We are going on a weekend trip to Cambria this Friday-Sunday and I am SO excited.

Cute giveaway

There's a giveaway for cute Matilda Jane Girls clothes on this blog this weekend.

Nap-time song

I overheard Nate enthusiastically singing during rest time today, so I had to film it.

School pickup

When we pick Nate up from school, Levi always runs and gives him a big hug. (Of course, the day I brought the camera to film it, he wasn't that into it!)

Bike time

I picked up a bicycle and a scooter for free last week (I'm part of a Freecycle-like email group for my area) for Lucy. It was cute: she didn't know my plan to do that, so when we went to Target and I bought her a helmet, she was SO excited about just the helmet. She thought it meant she'd be able to ride Nate's scooter sometimes or something. So when she saw the princessy bike and scooter later, she was elated. She's still working out the kinks as far as how to actually ride the equipment, but that will come. :)

Daddy time

Lucy's nonsensical song

"Helping"

I guess this is what I get for leaving folded laundry so accessible.

Dentist

Nate had his first trip to the dentist today. (I know... According to current wisdom, I'm way late on this!) With our insurance, he had to go to a regular dentist (not pediatric), so no flashy colors or distractions, but he still did really great.

Before the x-rays: all smiles (he isn't strapped in; those are just the arm rests).



Time for the cleaning: a little nervous.



Sitting nice and still.



All done!

Leaders gifts: wrist cuffs

I made something new for my Cubbies leaders this year and handed them out last night. I forgot to take pictures of the actual gifts before I wrapped them, but here are some extras. The ones without ruffles are also reversible to a different pattern/fabric. I had a LOT of fun making these, and now I love my new snap tools (size 16 snaps and attacher tool bought here).

Lucyism

"Nate, I'm gon' check your heart beep!"

Nate's blood work came back showing nothing, which is good. Symptoms have been gone for about a week, which is also good. Here's what he brought home for me today:

Levi videos

I have no health updates on the kids except that I took Nate to get his blood drawn yesterday--haven't heard the results yet, though.

In the meantime, here are some Levi videos:

Proud of himself driving the remote-control car:



I love how he says "bye" so clearly (that's what I was trying to get him to do in this vid):



And here's the picture Jon took of the kids to put on the front of my Mother's Day card--love it:

Never a good idea

It's never a good idea to take all three children to the doctor for three separate check-ups. But I had to take both Nate and Levi, so I figured I'd get Lucy checked too since I'd been wondering if she had an ear infection (seems like she hasn't been hearing as well lately). The boys' problems have been stranger. Nate has thrown up four separate times in the past three weeks, all without really being "sick"--he can still eat a little later that same day; he can walk around and play just fine (instead of being splayed out on the couch). Levi also had a throw-up episode (twice) this past Sunday night, but he also could eat the next day and didn't seem sick (just fussy). He has also had some... shall we say... diaper problems for several weeks. Awful stuff. I mentioned perhaps it was an intolerance to eggs, since I started feeding him eggs at breakfast every day about 6 weeks ago, but I really don't know.

The doctor couldn't find anything wrong. What a wasted hour and 20 minutes! I did my best to dole out snacks and read books, but there's only so much you can do to keep three young kids happy in a 6-by-6-foot space for that long. And actually, the test the doctor ran on Nate showed his bilirubin levels were a bit high, so there could possibly be something going on with his liver (even hepatitis A), or he might have reflux. Poor boy. She wrote a referral for him to see a gastroenterologist, and I also need to take him for some bloodwork to see about hepatitis. She also gave me a bloodwork write-up for Levi if his symptoms don't improve (and I don't think they will). And again, just like when I took Lucy to the doctor several weeks ago sure there was something wrong with her, there was also nothing wrong with her this time. Go figure. (They did do a quick hearing test with normal results.)

Just overheard

Lucy:

"Oh, look! A ant! I'm gon' die him."

Nate's party

We had a great time at Nate's 5th birthday party today. Jon picked up In-n-Out for everyone, and we had cake too of course. It was fun!

This morning at the house. We gave Nate a new game, 3 books, and 2 made-by-Mama shirts.



Here he is waiting for everyone to arrive to the party.



Party pics and video (the cousins, the Andersons, and one friend from school):