Same old same old
Things are going well here--and that means normal, the same, nothing new to post! Baby has been moving a lot, and that is my favorite part of pregnancy so far. I still only halfway fit my maternity clothes, but I'm wearing them anyway.

Now, on to something completely different.

One of my friends is struggling with the beginnings of infertility. I say "beginnings" because I don't think she would even label it infertility herself yet. I don't think she's ready mentally to put herself in that category. But she told me that she and her husband were starting to try to have kids well over a year ago, and she had one early miscarriage several months ago. She was one of the ones I wasn't sure how to tell when we found out we were pregnant in September. Since September, I discovered and have been avidly reading the host of infertility/adoption/pregnancy blogs out there. Some of the authors are witty, intelligent, and fun to read. Indirectly, they have given me a lot of insight about what to say (and what not to say) to this friend and how to talk to her. The other day when she was over at the house, I spoke frankly with her about what they've been going through and how I struggled with how to tell her about my pregnancy. She was candid too, telling me that it was a wonderful and very difficult day when I told her. Anyway, I'm thankful for those authors and blogs--without them, I don't think I would have known what to say.

Here are my favorites:
Chez Miscarriage - a surrogate is carrying their baby
Julia/"Here Be Hippogriffs" - "secondary infertility"--they have a son (the one "completed" pregnancy out of 7 or 8) but would like more
Uncommon Misconception - she just gave birth last week to a baby girl; dealt with placenta previa (serious condition where placenta attaches to uterine wall)
Tertia - just brought home the tiny twins
A Little Pregnant - just brought home a premie son

First baby shower
I had such a nice time at my first baby shower yesterday. I tried on a bunch of my maternity shirts in the morning and picked the one that made me look the most pregnant (this isn't me):



After church, Colleen and I went over to the Hutchins' house, and Carolyn and Ashley welcomed us in. Kari and Katrina arrived next, then Ricci (with Miles) and Jenny, Sabrina, and finally Jennaya. We enjoyed punch and had a good time talking with each other, and then we ate a delicious light lunch (quiche, fresh fruit--including blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, yum!--fresh vegetables with dip, and a light spinach-strawberry salad). Next, I opened the gifts--a very generous pile! My mom even mailed a gift to the Hutchins' house so it would be there for the shower--that was very sweet. I got a great mix of practical and fun things--some diapers, onesies, hooded towels, crib bedding (the duvet, bumper, and crib sheets), outfits, socks, bibs, rattles, teethers, etc. And I love the ducky pattern that came on a lot of the things! After the gifts, we ate a good dessert and played two word games. In all, it was a pleasant, lovely afternoon!

Sabrina came over to the house with me after the shower to help put things away and figure out where things will eventually go when we get the baby furniture. The second bedroom is starting to feel like the baby's room now!

I'm at 21 weeks 4 days!

I’m wearing a maternity shirt and pants today. Although I feel like I’m swimming in this shirt, I’m tired of wearing all my old shirts and stretching them out! This has to be the only frustrating/uncomfortable thing about the second trimester of pregnancy--not fitting into any clothes! :o) Anyway, this is a size small maternity shirt, so it doesn’t look quite as silly as some of the other ones might. Oh well! I’m sure in a couple of weeks I’ll fill out these shirts better. The pants are fitting great though.

My first shower is this Sunday! I'm so excited. Maybe I should secure a small pillow around my waist to look a bit more pregnant... :)

This weekend, Jon is flying to Florida and then driving home! Scott bought a car online a couple of weeks ago, and it’s at a dealer in Orlando. So Jon and Scott are flying to Orlando together on Saturday and driving the car straight back to California--they hope to get home by Monday night. Crazy. Jon used one of his free flights on Southwest (just had to use one ticket since it’s just one way for each of them). I hope to spend some of that free weekend time going through the second bedroom and majorly cleaning out one side of the closet to get it ready to hold baby things.

(Can you tell I have baby on the brain?)

Quick pregnancy tidbit
Jon felt the baby move yesterday! I was lying down on my side in the afternoon, and I felt a definite bubble/kick on the left side, where Baby's legs are. I put my hand there, waiting to see if I would feel it again, and I did--both from the inside and with my hand. So I called Jon over and had him rest his hand there. After a moment, I felt the baby again from the inside and said, "There! Did you feel that?" And he did! He said it was faint, but he did feel it. Cool!

Ultrasound picture
Here are two copies of the profile picture from yesterday:




We have one more picture ("Alien Baby"), but we'll have to scan it. ;)

Ultrasound
The ultrasound was this morning. It was SO COOL!!!! We got to see the profile, the face, the little hands and feet, the arms and legs, the heart (could even see the two distinct sides of the heart), the brain, the spine/lungs/skeleton, everything! And it was so fun watching him/her move. The baby stayed relatively still, but every couple of seconds he/she would move arms or legs. It was so neat. We got a picture of the profile and one of the face straight on, but that one just captures the skull (I call it "alien baby"). We did see the facial features, though--especially the nose and lips. I loved it! And I’m so glad Jon came. Then I had a regular appointment after that and that went just fine--just a check-in with the doctor...

Oh, and we did not find out if it's a boy or girl. ;)

Sorry I haven't posted in over a week, but everything has been pretty boring/normal around here! And that's good.

We had a nice New Year's. I had Friday off from work, and Jon took the day off too. We went to see the new movie version of "Phantom of the Opera." We liked it, and it reminded me of when we went to see the play several years ago. (Somewhat funny story that illustrates my gullibility: taking me to see the play was Jon's present to me for my birthday in 1999, but it was a surprise. I knew something was scheduled for that evening and that I was to dress up, but that was it. One day several weeks before the event, Jon slipped and said something like, "When we go to see--". It didn't make me suspicious at all, but Jon thought it might have. So he had his dad "accidentally tell" Jon's secret--that he would be taking me to Sea World for my birthday. I was so mad at Ray for having given away Jon's surprise, but I did not wonder at all what at Sea World would require me to dress up. When the night came and we were at a fancy dinner before the show with our two friends, the waiter asked if we were going to see Phantom. Kristen fumbled through telling him that we were actually going to Sea World. I still had no clue. That's right, I still thought we were going to Sea World--right up until we pulled into the parking garage at the theater.) Anyway, the movie on Friday was good because it made the story a little easier to understand.

For New Year's Eve, we went to Scott and Kim's house with several others and enjoyed the entertainment provided by their kids until they went to bed. We also ate good Mexican food, and then the girls sat around and talked while the guys played Settlers until (and past) midnight. We love our friends and had a great time.

On New Year's Day, Jon and I took down the Christmas tree and decorations (a much longer task than I had anticipated--but satisfying nonetheless) and ended up doing some other gratifying sorting/throwing away of accumulated junk. Then we went out to dinner with his family and watched "Napoleon Dynamite" at their house.

So, like I said, normal and boring! This week I'm looking forward to the big ultrasound on Thursday morning, and I'm also enjoying feeling the baby move a bit more often! I've felt him/her three distinct times today!

We had a nice, low-key Christmas here. Jon loved the presents I got him, including a 20GB iPod (he stayed up 'til 2:00 a.m. Christmas night putting music on it) and a DVD of one of his favorite movies ("Better Off Dead" with John Cusack). Also, as a non-planned but fun gift, when we were out doing last-minute family Christmas shopping on Thursday night, we found men's suits majorly on sale in Macy's. He got a beautiful pin-striped Kenneth Cole suit for 50% off, and I used my Christmas bonus to pay for it (the bonus covered it all except $75--not bad). This is his first real suit. Jon got me a beautiful light blue wool/cashmere pea coat (I LOVE it), a DVD ("Ever After"--love that movie!), and he's taking me shopping for a new pair of shoes. OH!--and my parents got us a digital video camera!

After we opened our gifts to each other, we went over to Jon's parents' house for the rest of the day (around 10:00). I brought potato casserole and helped Colleen with some of the rest: barbecued green beans (a good recipe!), sweet potatoes, ham, rolls, and pumpkin pie. We all exchanged gifts and then ate around 3:00. Jon spent much of the day testing out the new video camera and iPod, watching the Miama Heat beat the Lakers, and catnapping. He and I went back home around 7:30 and watched Spider-Man 2 (a gift from Jennifer).

Now it's back to the real world... but at least it's just a 4-day week (Friday off).

In pregnancy news: I feel like I have gained about 80 pounds. I think it's closer to 15, but still...

I think I felt the baby move today! I can't be positive that's what it was, but still, I'm pretty sure. I was in bed this morning, having hit the snooze button a couple of times. I rolled over on my side and was still, and then, blip! a little tappy sort of bubble. It was a couple of inches below my belly button and a bit to the left. I waited for a few minutes to see if I felt anything else, but nothing felt as strong (and anything else I felt might have been a mind psych-out). Cool!

I'm going to sit still for a few minutes after I eat lunch today to see if I feel anything. ;)

Pregnancy update
Well, there isn't much to update. None of my clothes fit me, and I feel plump, especially in areas that I didn't think needed to get any bigger... This is all for a reason, so I'm not going to obsess too much! I still haven't felt Baby move, but I've been trying to pay attention. I think sitting still after I eat is a good time to feel movement.

My grandparents gave us the stroller/car seat system I found and love for Christmas. Yay! Also, I bid on a nice, gently used white crib on Ebay and was the high bidder, but apparently I didn't meet the reserve price. I didn't want to go above my bid anyway, though, so perhaps the seller will contact me. It's a local pickup arrangement in Del Mar--would be worth it for the money saved.

In other news, I have Friday off from work and am hopeful that they'll let us go early tomorrow too. I'm not taking any paid time off this week or next week in order to save the PTO for later in the pregnancy if I want to take it then. Also, I already used several hours here and there throughout December. That's it!

Blogs I've been reading
I don't have a blogroll on my blog because the purpose of my blog is more personal- and friend-oriented. I don't write anything too interesting to anyone who doesn't know me (perhaps it isn't interesting to those who know me either...). But these are some blogs I've been reading recently:

Chez Miscarriage - Not the best language you will come across, but this woman writes very well and injects humor in surprising places. I've read her archives from March 2004 through today. Struggling for years with infertility, she and her husband have finally chosen a gestational surrogate to carry their baby. That pregnancy is in the early stages still.
The Leery Polyp - Along the same lines (including the language), this woman struggled with infertility and, along with her husband, had decided to adopt. Now at the beginning of that process, she has found out she is pregnant, but she is not too hopeful, having had numerous miscarriages before ("The pregnancy feels imaginary. Unreal. I try to picture myself getting to the point where maternity clothes are necessary, and it actually makes me laugh, it's so ridiculous, so impossible to believe... And of course I want to believe in it, but I'm terrified."). She's currently struggling with still wanting to continue the adoption process but wanting to be hopeful about the pregnancy.
The Proverbial Wife - Written by Marla Swoffer, a Christian who lives with her family in the liberal San Francisco area. Thought-provoking posts.

And, of course, my real friends:
To A Discerning Eye - Bryce and Ashley in Scotland.
Jack Flack Always Escapes - Adventures of my friend Nell, now living in New York. We met in middle school and became good friends in early high school.

18 weeks!
We had a nice time at Denny's for breakfast this morning and are just getting lots done around the house now (I cleaned our bathroom and shower, am doing some laundry, will go empty the dishwasher after this, and wrote a couple of thank you notes for Christmas gifts already received; Jon mowed the lawn, will wash one of our cars, and is doing miscellaneous yard work). We're going over to Phil and Katrina's tonight--that should be fun. It's the first time the four of us have hung out since they got married in October. Nothing else big going on today!

Random thoughts 11 days before Christmas
I finished the rest of my Christmas shopping on Saturday--with two weeks to spare! That's actually cutting it a bit close for me. I don't like big shopping crowds and aisle upon aisle of cluttered merchandise thrown every which way. Before his married days, Jon wouldn't have even started Christmas shopping yet. "Two weeks?! That's plenty of time!" That's why I do the shopping. This year, he just has to buy gifts for his dad and his friend Scott (and me).

At my doctor's appointment last week, they took some blood to do a screening for Down's syndrome and a couple of other birth defects. The doctor said the results would be in within a few days, and they would call me if there was anything to discuss. "If you don't get a call from me," she said, "consider that good news." Yesterday, I had a message on my cell phone to call the doc office to "discuss some lab results." Yikes. I called the number and waited on hold for 10 long minutes. The "lab results," though, were from a urine sample, not the blood test, and I just have some hints of a minor bacterial infection. I already got the prescription and everything is fine. But I wish they could have been a little more specific about which lab results they were calling about. Of course, even if they were calling about the blood test and there was something "wrong" with the baby, we wouldn't be changing a thing. The doctors may recommend "terminating the pregnancy" (come on, people, call it what it is: killing the baby), but we would not consider that. The reason we agreed to have the blood test done in the first place is just to know, to be prepared.

We were very busy this weekend, but it was mostly with fun stuff. The wedding on Friday went very well. Jon was very groomsmanly. I saw quite a few old friends/acquaintances (Mickeal, the Millers, Amy, the Johnsons) and even a person/family I did not want to see, but even that went very well. On Saturday after a Christmas program rehearsal, I tried to help Jon's parents move into their new house, but only being able to lift light boxes doesn't help very much. So instead, that's when I finished my Christmas shopping. Saturday night was the annual ornament exchange party. This was our third year going, and I think we had the most fun this year since we knew a few more people. I even liked the ornaments we went home with (a first!--many people bring joke/ugly ornaments, and then the several that are really neat get "stolen"). After the party, we went over to Neil and Casey's house and had a really great time sitting around and talking until way past my bed time. That caused Sunday morning's message to be a little fuzzy in my mind, but it was still good. I was back at church at 4:30 for a last rehearsal before the Christmas program, which started at 6:00. It went surprisingly well, considering the singers had never practiced with the band and the actors had never practiced with the musicians and the lighting was never planned and there had never been a dress rehearsal. Dinner out with friends after the program was a nice ending to a full but nice weekend.

And so it begins
Our [too-busy] Christmas season seems to be beginning now. Tonight is the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for a wedding Jon is in (the wedding is tomorrow--Friday--and we'll be leaving work early to get to it. I wonder why they chose a Friday for the wedding and, since they chose a Friday, why they chose a time that meant everyone, guests included, would have to take time off of work to attend). Saturday is an annual ornament exchange party. Sunday is our church's Christmas program (I'll be singing). Thursday next is a potluck at work. Friday next is another party, this one involving a white elephant gift exchange (someone want to google the origins of the phrase "white elephant"?). Janel and family arrive some time around then for a week, and we'll be taking a Varela family Christmas picture on the 22nd. Seth's first birthday is the 23rd. Amid all of this, I really do want to continue to take a step back and remember the true significance of Christmas, enjoying the activities, decorations, parties, and company, but always with Christ and God's miraculous gift in mind.

Wednesdays are my favorite week day
Wednesdays are nice because I don't have anything scheduled after work. Mondays and Tuesdays are for flute lessons, and Thursdays are for music rehearsal at church. Wednesdays are free. It makes my whole day a lot more relaxing, knowing that I'm done with obligations at 5:00. I usually just relax at home, but today I'm going to Target to shop for a wedding gift and some ornaments for an ornament exchange we're going to on Saturday.

Oh, my next doctor's appointment is tomorrow, and I'm hoping Jon can come! He hasn't heard the heartbeat yet, so it would be neat if he could hear it tomorrow. I'm over 4 months pregnant now!--and our baby is about 4.5 inches long and weighs very little (a couple of ounces).

We had a very nice time this weekend with my parents. They arrived mid-day Friday, and we went straight from the airport to Laguna Beach for lunch and to enjoy the beautiful, sunshine-y California weather. It's a good thing we enjoyed it Friday, because Saturday and Sunday were dreary, rainy, and chilly. My dad also got another crazy shirt. The four of us went to I Love Sushi for dinner on Friday. I didn't think I would get that jealous of everyone for getting to eat all that good sushi, but I did. I really do miss those Philadelphia rolls and tropical rolls and wasabi... Of everything I'm not supposed to eat while pregnant, sushi is what I miss. The shrimp wontons, miso soup, and salad I had were still very good.

On Saturday, we had breakfast at home and hung around the house for a while. Jon, my mom, and I got lunch at Del Taco while my dad went to a business meeting. Then my mom and I did some baby room shopping at Babies R Us (I think I might register here); we looked at cribs (expensive!), strollers (expensive!), crib mattresses (expensive!), and dressers/changing tables (super expensive!). I found some decently priced things that I like. Saturday evening, the four of us went to the Clippers game versus the Timberwolves. We had seats in the Clear Channel suite (Jon's company advertises on the radio through Clearchannel/Clear Channel--however they write it--and so he gets these tickets sometimes), where they provide lots of good food (free) and comfortable seats. The game was exciting--it went into overtime, but we lost.

On Sunday, Jon and I went together early to church to do our normal routine (Jon setting up sound, me rehearsing music), and my parents came later (already over halfway through the service--I know this was my mom trying to be sensitive to my non-believing dad, but oh well). A bunch of us went out to lunch after church, and I was reminded once again why I like going to the food court at the mall if a bunch of us are going at once: no bill sharing. Trying to figure out how 12 people are going to pay one bill is always a huge hassle. Anyway, Jon was off to Sacramento by this time for work, so my mom, dad, and I spent the rest of the day together (including a drop-off-dad-at-Home-Depot-so-we-can-do-one-more-stint-of-baby-shopping hour. We went to Target and saw the crib linens/room decorations I'd like to register for and also found a dresser that would work as a changing table--less than half the cost of the ones at Babies R Us. It felt weird to do all this baby room shopping when I'm not even really showing yet and still have 6 months to go. I felt like an imposter in Babies R Us, with all these cutely very pregnant women walking around looking at the same things I was. But hey, I'm still pregnant.). We made taco soup for dinner and then watched "Italian Job," since my parents had never seen it.

We got ready this morning at a leisurely pace, and I took them to the airport. That pretty much sums up the weekend!

I don't know if it's my prolonged absence from being around my dad for so long that made me forget or if it is actually that he has changed, but I think he has gotten more set in his ways and impatient. At lunch on Friday, a girl one table over from us had a loud, annoying laugh--it was quite noticeable and inappropriate. While I think most people I would have been with would either not notice it, laugh about it, make fun of her, or just shrug it off, it really frustrated my dad. Things like that annoy him to the point where it could ruin his meal and prevent him from having a good time. I don't know if he has always just been that way and I didn't notice as much or if it really has gotten worse. Interesting.

There isn't too much on tap for this week, but I do have my 16-week appointment on Thursday morning. In addition, Thursday is my one-year anniversary of reaching lifetime status in Weight Watchers.

General news
Work
I have been quite bored here lately. So have the other proposal writers--at least the other two I'm friends with. Because of the restructure of the sales and marketing force in the company and the changing nature of how exactly we're doing business (new products, new sales targets), the salespeople haven't been getting/submitting proposal requests. This is our slow season for proposals anyway, but annual projects are only so interesting (and only take up so much time). The fact that I'm only going to be working here 5 months longer (though no one here knows that yet) also factors in to my boredom/lack of motivation.

Jon's job, on the other hand, is anything but boring. He's working his typical long hours and coming home exhausted. I can tell when he has had a good day, because, though he has usually worked 10+ hours, he feels productive--like he actually got things done. Receiving constant interruptive phone calls and questions surely impedes progress...

Home
We still haven't decided 100% what to do with our house: do the addition after the baby's born? Not do the addition and instead just get a new roof, of which the house is in desperate need? Regardless, we need to have something done about the roof so we don't stay up at night each time it rains praying there are no leaks.

We're still really enjoying our new tile floors and the heat, protection, and comfort God through our home gives us.

Pregnancy
This past week has felt new. I've been feeling great, but I've also noticed that my lower-to-middle back has been hurting. I guess that's typical, even this early in pregnancy when I haven't gained much weight. Also, I've been thinking that it is a boy. Of the 4 or 5 dreams I have had with our baby in it, it has always been a boy. And in discussing names with Jon, I kept thinking about and wanting to talk about boy names--almost like I had forgotten about the girl names I like. This might just be my subconscious "psyching me out," since I have been leaning toward wanting a girl just a little bit more than a boy. But a couple of the boy names we came up with have me very excited, so maybe it's God preparing to change my heart. :)

Weekend plans
My parents are coming to visit this weekend! This is my dad's first time back out to California since they moved exactly two years ago. My mom has been out numerous times (three I think). They're flying in Friday and leaving Monday morning, so this is a short visit, but certainly better than nothing. Though I don't mention it much, I really miss my parents and brother and sister.

We're planning on going to I Love Sushi for dinner at some point over the weekend, and Jon got four tickets to the Clippers game for Saturday night, so we'll go to that too. I think my dad wants to go to Laguna Beach and buy a t-shirt, too (my silly dad).

Flute lessons
I have four flute students right now--two on Mondays and two on Tuesdays. If it weren't for one of my Monday students, I would think that I am a great flute teacher.

Angela, the student I've been teaching the longest, is a diligent 12-year-old who has long fingers and a naturally good tone. She comes from a typical Orange County Asian family; I think her parents push her to do well in everything--tennis, swimming, flute, school, etc. I'm sure her room is always clean too. She has improved steadily since starting lessons.

Tosin is a man from Nigeria who is in the states for school. Although he is busy and sometimes cancels our lessons (well in advance), he is a good student. He practices a lot for our lessons, and he listens well (I'd hope so--he's 27). He's improving steadily.

Natalie is a new student--we've had just two lessons so far (tonight will be the third), but I will have fun teaching her. She is a freshman at a local high school, and she is intimidated by the [snobby] older flute players. Although she has a good sound, we're working on the fundamentals now (scales, reading notes) and on not getting frustrated/flustered when she messes up.

And then there's Annie-Jo. She is a 9-year-old from England living here with her family for 6 months. I have taught others as young as she is, so I don't think the issues stem solely from age. Annie-Jo talks incessantly--her stories start off sounding like they're related to what I've just told her about flute, but then they tangent off and keep going and going. It's hard for me to get a word in edgewise, and so I end up having to be stern with her. But it isn't just the talking. In the three months or so that I've been teaching her, I think she has made about three weeks' worth of improvement. I give her basically the same assignments each week because she either hasn't done them at all or she hasn't made any change/improvement. I do think she practices. Another problem: her mother. Annie-Jo's mom is also a beginner flute player, so I think she tells Annie-Jo how to do things; often, those things are in direct opposition to whatever I've told or assigned Annie-Jo. (Oh, and after talking with the mother a few times, I see where Annie-Jo gets the incessant talking from.)

I think it's time for a new teaching plan with Annie-Jo. Usually, I don't have to do much preparation for my lessons. I set up my flute, the chair, the music stand, and then, when the student arrives, I look over what I assigned him/her last week and start from there. Maybe Annie-Jo needs even more structure: a written out quiz she must start immediately upon arrival while I put her flute together for her (instead of her putting her flute together, which has become a time where she slowly puts together the flute while rambling on and on); a rule sheet with the number one rule of "no story-telling"; a requirement that she repeat my instructions to her after I give them... Look out, Annie-Jo!--you're about to be hit with Extreme Flute Teaching!

Thanksgiving
What a great weekend. Jon's parents and little sister stayed over, and Colleen and I did the traditional meal--turkey, gravy, stuffing, cranberries, potato casserole, squash casserole, green beans, sweet potatoes, and three pies. I cleaned the house, avoided shopping madness, and did most of my Christmas decorating (to be completed when we get a tree) on Friday. It was very nice to spend some extra time with Jon and sleep in. He and I went to dinner and a movie on Saturday night, and we talked about baby names for the first time. I think we whittled the choices down to 2 for a girl and 3 or 4 for a boy. We still have plenty of time to decide, of course, but this was the first time I actually pinned him down to talk about it. I think the whole thing (pregnancy, actually having a baby) hasn't really hit him yet. Will it ever? Maybe not until the baby's born. :)

This year, I am very thankful for
- my salvation
- my husband, his leadership in our home, his work ethic, his love for me, his gentleness
- my husband's job
- the miraculous little life growing inside me
- the abundance of food, shelter, clothing, and every necessity God has provided for us
- Scott and Kim and the other close friends God has blessed us with
- our families

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

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