Dangerous habit

I have yet to capture it properly on camera, but Nate is still enjoying hiding behind too-small objects (his cup, for instance--yes, he'll hold it in front of his face and think he's hiding). He is also finding it fun to walk around with his eyes closed:

Baby update

I'm feeling pretty good and getting nice and big! This baby is strong and likes to keep me from taking a nap by kicking and punching up a storm if I lie down. That's the baby news right now. At 34 weeks, I'm definitely at the waddling stage. Nate was born at 37 weeks, but I'm hoping to make it farther than that this time, mostly because I can't fathom having another baby already three weeks from now. Here's what my to-do list looks like:

Clean Nate’s closet--both sides
Clean my closet (partially done. This is where I will keep some of the new baby's clothes until our housing situation is changed.)
Goodwill clothes (DONE)
Find boppy
Get out and set up:
-bassinet (need sheets?)
-car seat (adjust straps)
-neutral newborn clothes (wash)
Pack hospital bag
-Travel-size toiletries
-One boy & one girl outfit
-Flute phone numbers (input into phone?)
Pack overnight bag for Nate (to last 2 days)
Make and freeze some meals to have for dinners after baby comes

To buy:
Plastic drawers for clothes (DONE. Eventually, Nate will get the dresser Jon uses now, and Baby will get Nate's dresser. My dad is going to build a new one for Jon and me!--no hurry, though.)
Diapers
Nursing things
Wash cloths?

Rejoice!

I spoke several times with the scheduling person at the therapy center today, and, beginning the week of March 20, Nate will have two hours of in-home therapy on Tuesdays, and I will just have to take him to the center on Wednesdays and Thursdays (hour and a half each time). That is so much better! We just have to hold on for another month. Praise God.

Hard day

Today was one of those hard mothering days where I felt like I must be doing everything wrong. I took Nate to therapy and listened from the next room as he cried for a majority of the hour and a half. He seems to be liking the therapy less and less, not more and more. We got home and he took a characteristically short nap, which, on days like this, makes me feel more stressed knowing he didn't sleep enough and I didn't get enough of a break. He acted fussy and clingy and whiny for most of the rest of the day. I'm sure it's when he acts like that that he needs even more of my love and reassurance and patience, but sometimes I feel like I just don't have what it takes.

Can't see me

Nate has just started doing what I think is one of the cutest things little kids do: hiding behind something small thinking no one can see him. I was chasing him in the back yard this morning, and he got behind a post about three inches wide and stood still, thinking I couldn't see him. Later, he stood out in the open and covered his eyes with the backs of his hands, waiting for me to "find" him. :)

On a walk

This picture makes me laugh because it looks like he's saying, "You wanna piece of me?"



Here's how our morning walks usually go (though today is the first weekday in nearly two weeks we've gone on a walk--the therapy has really cut into our walking time):

On a completely different note...

Jon and I usually don't make a big deal out of Valentine's Day, so I was very surprised on Wednesday when I got in the car to drive Nate to therapy to see a note on the dashboard telling me to look in the center console. That's where I found my new iPod Nano! I've never had an iPod before, but our new car has a hookup in the dash for one, and with all the extra driving I'm now doing for Nate's therapy, Jon thought it would be a good gift... and he was right! I love it. I spent several hours yesterday (nap time and after bed time) putting songs on it. Yay!

Then, on Wednesday night, Ray and Colleen came over to watch Nate while Jon and I went to the Clippers game. What I didn't know is that Neil and Casey were coming too, and we all went out to a really nice dinner first. It was relaxing, fun, and almost perfect! (It would have been perfect if the Clippers had won, but we fell apart in the fourth quarter.) What a great Valentine's. :)

Adventures in the park

I took Nate to the park yesterday afternoon after running a few errands. For most of the time, there weren't any other kids there, which I like since Nate is often one of the youngest and sometimes can get accidentally pushed around (older kids forget how wobbly and unsteady toddlers might be on the play structures). The only other child there ended up being a little girl who was maybe 2 and a half--a good head taller than Nate. Nate mostly played on his own but tried to instigate play with her a couple of times, walking up to her and then turning and running, trying to get her to chase him (she didn't). (On another note, this is definitely progress for him as far as social interaction goes.) He also followed her one time to one of the play structures, but she kept yelling, "Stop!" and "No!" at him, so I was glad when he decided to go off on his own again. (I wasn't going to tell him to go somewhere else; he wasn't doing anything wrong, so, if anything, the other mother should have told her kid to stop complaining 'cause the baby wasn't doing anything to her.) Nate and the girl ended up at the same slide structure later. While she was going up the steps, she half kicked, half nudged Nate with her shoe to make him go away (the mother saw this, but was on the phone so didn't say anything). He took a step back and waited for her to go up. After she was up the three or four steps, he started to go up. She thought for a second, turned back around, came down the steps, and kicked Nate hard in the face. It surprised and hurt him, and he started crying strongly. The mother got off the phone, and said, "Olivia, that wasn't nice! Please say you're sorry! That was not nice."

Excuse me? Please say you're sorry? That's how you're going to address your child maliciously kicking a much younger child in the face? I was seething. I picked Nate up and held him there long enough for the kid to laugh out an I'm sorry, and I walked away. My instincts were telling me to yell at this mom (I was angrier at her than at the girl, who obviously doesn't receive much discipline). If the mom doesn't believe in spanking, fine, then take the child off the slide, sit her on a bench, and give her a time out...just do something.

This situation is not unique--I'm sure every mom witnesses her child being hurt by another, especially at playgrounds, but it still makes me mad. And I felt so bad for my little Nate, who just wanted to play and in this instance was really just minding his own business, and here came a little brat who was so mean to him.

Nate is fine, by the way. :)

This week

Well, we're into week two of therapy, and though I'm still discouraged about the scheduling of it, I'm happy about how it's going. It is still new and maybe a bit overwhelming for Nate--he fell asleep in the car on the way home today, which is very unusual for him--but in another two or three weeks, he'll have the hang of it. He saw an occupational therapist yesterday, who gave me a couple of stretching exercises/manipulations to do on Nate's face each day to help develop his "tone" and gums, since his upper lip apparently is a bit overly attached to his gums/teeth. Today he saw a physical therapist for an evaluation since he hasn't been PT-evaluated at this center before. I didn't go in with them for that part, so I'm not sure what they did. He also saw the speech therapist today, who said she worked with him on things like chewing on a specific toy thingy and trying to blow into a recorder (hasn't done that yet). She gave me a handout on different mouth exercises to do with him (sucking through a tiny straw, blowing into an instrument, etc.).

Small breakthrough?

I listened to how the therapists speak to the kids at the center this week and tried to take some of that knowledge home with me. Twice today, Nate followed instruction that he has never followed before--bringing an object to me. Could it be because I said it in a new way? "Nate: teddy bear give Mama" and "Nate: keys give Mama" worked both times. Whenever I have said before, "Nate: give the keys to Mama. Bring Mama the keys. Take the keys here to Mama," I've been met by a blank stare. I thought he was being obstinate, but maybe, just maybe, he really didn't understand. I know there's still plenty of belligerence in that little boy of mine, but I was so pleased today to see him wanting to cooperate when he understood what it was I wanted.

From one to two

We are getting pretty close to being a family of four! My due date is two months from tomorrow.

I am nervous about having two. Although I feel like taking care of Nate at the beginning came relatively naturally to me (especially because he was an easy-going infant), I'm anxious about doing all of that and having a toddler at the same time. The sleep deprivation at night was OK with Nate, because then I could sleep during the day when he napped. Nursing was generally relaxing and easy, because it meant sitting down and being quiet with no distractions. Sticking to a schedule/routine was natural and effortless, because the only child who mattered was Nate, and he thrived on the schedule I put him on. Not so this time. Sleeping during the day won't be an option most of the time. I'm hopeful that nursing won't be a stressful time, that Nate won't be too jealous, that this baby will eat quickly (some take 45 minutes each time, some 10!). As far as routine goes, I really like and need structure, but I know I'll learn to be more flexible too (already have a little bit).

I guess I'm mostly nervous about having two because I now know how much effort, energy, and selflessness go into having just one. And now I'm about to start over again! And of course I ask the question I've heard so many parents ask: "How can I love another child as much as I love my first?" It's true. Nate is my pumpkin, my sweet boy, my laughing partner... and I don't even know the name of this next baby. At this point, I think more about how the next child will affect Nate, and not how much I'm sure we're going to love him/her and how much joy he/she will bring to our family. I'm just nervous!

So far

After three days of going to Nate's therapy, I can tell it's going to be a big adjustment! Nate and I both were tired this morning (proof of this occurred when he kept crying for no real reason), and driving home I couldn't believe I have to go back again tomorrow. It takes about a half hour to get there (a long time by So-Cal standards). The center does have therapists who do in-home therapy, and I have requested that for us, so I'm hopeful that some of the therapy can be done at our house so that I only have to drive there, say, two days a week instead of four. Logistically, it will be hard for them to schedule in-home therapy because we live so far away, but I'm praying it'll still happen.

As far as the actual therapy goes, I am pleased. I like the therapists and am excited to see the progress I know Nate will make. It will take a few weeks for Nate to get used to the therapists and the routine, but I think he will thrive. As far as I can tell, most of the parents drop their kids off or wait in the waiting room for them while the kids have their therapy, so I will probably eventually do that for at least the majority of his therapy sessions (especially after the baby is born). For this first week, though, I plan on going in with Nate and observing so that 1) he will be comfortable and 2) I can see what I can be doing at home to foster his development. (In the future, I may go observe at least part of his therapy each week so I can be involved. There is a scheduled half-hour parent meeting each week with one of the head therapists, and she fills me in on all they're doing and answers any questions I have, but I may still observe for extra benefit.) So far, the therapists are just seeing where Nate is and not doing much in-depth work from what I can tell, but they will work on getting him to communicate what he wants (more, all done, help me with this toy, I want something to eat, etc.) without prompting from an adult, developing appropriate play with toys (not lining things up, for example), imitating, eye contact--when name is called and also spontaneously for approval/interaction, socializing, identifying body parts, imitating animal noises, learning to sort by shape and size, eating more foods, self-feeding, and more.

Therapy

Nate's therapy starts today. The center called me last week to give me the schedule, and I was and am kind of disheartened by it, because they're having us come in four days per week (Monday-Thursday). It wouldn't be so bad if it were closer, but since the center is in Huntington Beach, going for just an hour of therapy will turn into a several-hour venture--four times per week. I told the lady on the phone that I was under the impression that three of the five hours of therapy were going to be at our house, and she didn't know that (there has been some miscommunication instigated, I believe, by the case worker at the state program). The lady at the center has always seemed very accommodating and is going to see if we can do the three hours of ABA at our house (they have one therapist who would be able to come that far). If that does work out, then I'd only have to take Nate to Huntington two days a week. As it is now, here's the schedule:

Mondays 3:00-4:00
Tuesdays 9:30-11:00
Wednesdays 10:00-11:00
Thursdays 9:30-11:00

That's a lot for a 21 month old. Oh, and it will be nearly impossible in April-May-June as I'll have Nate and the new baby. What I'm hoping, at least, is that Nate enjoys the therapy and thinks of it as play time; it won't be such a burden to take him if he thinks it's fun.

Quick

I'm feeling much better today... My senses of smell and taste are pretty much back, and I can hear out of one ear at least (my ears never "popped" when the plane descended on Monday night; now one ear is fine and one basically feels deaf. It's incredibly annoying). I just wanted to write a quick update and say I'll write soon about Nate's therapy--I got a call with his new schedule.