From one to two

We are getting pretty close to being a family of four! My due date is two months from tomorrow.

I am nervous about having two. Although I feel like taking care of Nate at the beginning came relatively naturally to me (especially because he was an easy-going infant), I'm anxious about doing all of that and having a toddler at the same time. The sleep deprivation at night was OK with Nate, because then I could sleep during the day when he napped. Nursing was generally relaxing and easy, because it meant sitting down and being quiet with no distractions. Sticking to a schedule/routine was natural and effortless, because the only child who mattered was Nate, and he thrived on the schedule I put him on. Not so this time. Sleeping during the day won't be an option most of the time. I'm hopeful that nursing won't be a stressful time, that Nate won't be too jealous, that this baby will eat quickly (some take 45 minutes each time, some 10!). As far as routine goes, I really like and need structure, but I know I'll learn to be more flexible too (already have a little bit).

I guess I'm mostly nervous about having two because I now know how much effort, energy, and selflessness go into having just one. And now I'm about to start over again! And of course I ask the question I've heard so many parents ask: "How can I love another child as much as I love my first?" It's true. Nate is my pumpkin, my sweet boy, my laughing partner... and I don't even know the name of this next baby. At this point, I think more about how the next child will affect Nate, and not how much I'm sure we're going to love him/her and how much joy he/she will bring to our family. I'm just nervous!