I haven't blogged about the "cold shower treatment" yet. Here's the gist of it: our usual discipline tactics were not very effective with Lucy. They would maybe have a momentary impact, but apparently she didn't care enough about the consequences to stop the tantrums, fit-throwing, and disrespectful words. We talk about how God wants us to act with gentleness, self control, respect for authority, etc. She is just having a really hard time. Recently, she kept throwing a fit about something (probably clothes-related), and Jon told her if she threw one more fit, he was going to put her in the shower with cold water. Within a minute, she was throwing another fit. Jon calmly but firmly took her to the shower, clothes and all, and held her under cold water for about 10 seconds. She hated it (of course). After he turned the water off, he dried her off, held her, and prayed with her. She was like a different child--humbled, calm, and happy for the rest of the day.
Since that day, I have had to do the shower treatment with her several more times (it probably comes out to about once a week now that I think about it). She really hates it. But she comes out of it so much better. And I have found that I am able to stay calm and matter-of-fact with her about it, making sure I count out loud to 10 while she's in the water, so she can understand I'm under control and not doing it out of anger. Afterward, I make sure we talk about why we had to do it, then pray with her.
So that's the cold shower explanation. It may sound cruel to some people, but when you're dealing with a spirited child for whom regular discipline has little effect, you have to find something!
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6 comments:
I think that sounds like a wonderful solution!! Hope it keeps working. A fine simple soldution so a terrible problem. L&K Nannie
Hey have you read "Raising the Spirited Child"? I've heard some amazing things about it esp, regarding tantruming. Just a thought if you want to read. ;)
It's great you're able to be in control and not angry.
Katie--I love this idea--thanks for posting--it seems very practical and physical (which I think some kids need) without spanking, etc. I will keep this in the back of my mind...(grin!). I wonder if it would work well to "wash the bad attitude off" of a 6 year old, too...? :)
I have to tell you I actually got out the towel the other night because I thought I was going to have to do this with Eli, he was beside himself and so was I. I ended up just leaving him alone to collect my thoughts and when I came back he was much better but I am totally going to try this the next time I can't get him to calm down or "snap out of it" so to speak. Thanks for posting it!
Ashley - I have not heard of that book but will definitely be checking it out from the library!!! It's always good to have lots of resources and knowledge at hand.
Sara & Ricci - Thanks for your comments. I was a little worried posting this since I thought people might think it was overboard. :)
It is overboard! And so is Lucy!!!! You and Jon are doing an awesome job.
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