Back to normal

This week is a bit back to normal now that we can go outside without getting covered in ash. The fires are mostly contained, and we're praying the winds don't pick up again.

Nate had another evaluation at Cornerstone, and they recommended he keep the same number of hours but instead of doing in-home ABA on Mondays, he would do what they call "group" on Mondays and Wednesdays. Group is a lot like preschool: there are several children (4-5 I think) together, and they sit together, sing songs, do obstacle courses, raise their hands to volunteer or ask questions, etc. It sounds really cute and perfect for Nate. We'll see if Regional Center approves it.

I'm off to eat lunch while the children nap!

Oh, and here we are as Clark Kent and Lois Lane for a party we went to this weekend:



Edited to add more pictures:

Nateism

For a long time, I've looked forward to the day I could start posting about cute things my children said. Kids really do say the darndest things, and it is a special joy for me that Nate is starting to be one of those kids! Tonight after Bible study (where a babysitter watches the 8-10 kids at the house next door), as we were driving away, Nate said goodbye using a word we've never formally taught him: "Bye bye, children!"

In the works

This week I've been making more calls for the next steps in Nate's treatment. I've been looking for a DAN! (Defeat Autism Now) doctor. These are doctors (sometimes pediatricians, sometimes internists, sometimes other M.D.s, sometimes more "holistic" doctors) who usually have been to one or more DAN! conferences and believe in treating autism biomedically (enzymes, diet changes, supplementation, toxin removal, more) in addition to traditional therapies. I want to start taking Nate to one because some of the next things I want to try should be medically supervised (like if he needs treatment for yeast overgrowth, which often requires prescribed medicine).

The first and most prominent place I called is so full it is not taking new patients and apparently is not even using a waiting list (the girl on the phone was pretty rude, even when I read out loud to her an e-mail I'd received from one of the doctors there). However, another place I called sounds much more promising: the receptionist spent a good 15 minutes on the phone with me describing the doctor and her work, which includes a 2-hour initial appointment. The receptionist said about 30-40% of this doctor's work is with autism, which I like since some of the other places I looked at made little or no mention of autism. In addition, this doctor holds an open-to-the-public session one evening a month, so we could go talk to her and meet her without committing to a large first appointment fee.

This week we also went to get Nate's blood drawn for a second time. We'll have to go back to the lab for a third draw since the amount of blood needed for all the tests the neurologist wants run is too much to draw at one or even two times. Most of the tests are measuring things I don't understand unless I look them up: DNA for Fragile X, carnitine levels, quantitative plasma amino acids, acylcarnitine profile, and quite a few more. There will also be results for levels of lead, lactate, and ammonia in the blood. Whatever doctor we end up going to will no doubt use these results (and maybe more) in determining what we'll try next.

More on motherhood: being appreciated

I often depend on my husband to validate me, to make me feel appreciated, to tell me I'm a good wife and mother. He is good at doing that and does it often; however, I realize that it shouldn't be my motivation, that it isn't what dictates whether I actually am doing a "good job."

Amy from Amy's Humble Musings echoes these thoughts:

For many years, I walked around waiting for someone to notice my sacrifice and hoped for some grand acknowledgment on Mother’s Day. (I admit it.) One day I realized that my obedience is better than feeling appreciated. And this is the secret of the Christian’s life--everything is an offering for Christ. What we do for little ones, we do for Christ.

Aha!

God knows women desire appreciation and to be noticed. The Proverbs 31 woman, who seems to "do it all," is appreciated. A highlight of that chapter for me is verses 28-29:

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”

I do desire for my children and husband to appreciate me, and I don't believe that is wrong. However, verse 30 should be my focus:

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

It is the woman who does all of this work for Him who deserves the praise!

And happy birthday, Lucy M!

Miscellanies

Fires
Many of you have probably seen news coverage on the southern CA wildfires. The Malibu fire destroyed Malibu Presbyterian Church, where I went when I attended Pepperdine. It also destroyed a really neat castle we used to drive by and wonder about.

The air at our house has an eerie brownish tinge to it, and the smoke/ash smell is really strong. The closest fire to our house is still not very close, but having it be in our city does make the fact that people are losing their homes more real.

All of this is to say we're OK, and please pray with us for those affected!

Something new
I've been using my current purse since early high school. It is still in decent shape (which is certainly a testament to the sturdiness of this brand, The Sak), but I've been finding myself feeling a little embarrassed by it because it is so out of style. I have a couple of other bags, but they aren't everyday bags because they have lots of colors or are too fancy or too small. This past week, I used some of my flute lesson money to get myself a new bag. It came today and I LOVE it! It's a Harvey's seatbelt bag. Ricci had (still has?) one and I've always admired it.

I'll try to post a pic of my new bag later!

Cute kids
Here are Nate and Lucy after her nap today. I love these kids!

Language

Nate is saying a LOT! He repeats almost anything I say now, often with correct pronunciation. I hope to catch him on film saying some of the especially cute things, like "Cool," "Exercise," "Good morning," "Okay" (pronounced "Otay" of course), "Hi baby girl," and "Ohhh, nice" (he says that one after he gives someone an unpromted kiss, I think because I often say, "Oh, that's so nice" when he kisses Lucy). We also got his PECS book this week, and we've been using it. He finds the picture of what he wants, places it on the velcro strip next to the "I want" picture, and brings me the strip. Then he says, "I want _____" (cereal, bubbles, whatever). The key here is that he must bring me the strip and communicate with me, not go to what he wants and miss the communication thing (example: running to the fridge and saying "milk" even though I'm in the other room).

Go Nate!

I caught some of the words today:

Busyness

We are into the fall season, and it feels especially busy this year. We have therapy 4 days a week, MOPS (a fun commitment!), AWANA, flute lessons, and of course the normal day-to-day stuff. Now that I look at it, that little list doesn't seem like much... but it is! We don't have any commitments on Fridays, so I always let out a big exhale when we make it to Thursday afternoon. I don't want to get through each day just barely holding on, but some weeks, it feels that way!

Other notes: Nate and Lucy had their first sibling bath together on Monday evening. I was giving Lucy a bath, and Nate wanted to get in. It was cute.

Ricci and I took the kids to the pumpkin patch yesterday. A couple of school groups were there, so it was really crowded, but the kids still had a fun time.

Miles & Nate


Eli


Lucy in the sling

Sweet kids

Nostalgia

The picture I have in the post below of Nate playing with Jon on the couch reminded me of a picture of him from the day he turned one.



My baby certainly isn't a baby anymore! :)

Pics

We've definitely been missing my mom since she left a week ago. Here are some pictures for you, Mama, and one picture of the bathroom too! :)

Vaccines: some things I've been learning

There are those in the autism community who believe certain vaccines like the MMR caused their children's autism. I am not one of those. Nate's was not a regressive case, where he was "fine" and then, one day soon after a shot, lost skills, language, etc. Looking back, we can see signs all along in Nate's development. However, I agree with the experts (like in the book I'm currently reading, Changing the Course of Autism: A Scientific Approach for Parents and Physicians) who posit that autism is not merely a genetic disorder, but a disorder perhaps involving some genetic predispositions (in the brain? gut?) that are triggered by environmental factors that affect the gut, brain, and other areas of the body. One of those environmental triggers might be some of the ingredients in vaccines.

Some studies have found that children with autism are unable to process certain metals, like mercury and/or other vaccine ingredients, properly. Their bodies hold onto these materials, sometimes to toxic levels, which can then manifest in "autistic" behaviors. I'm being as careful as possible with Lucy's vaccinations since 1) autism tends to run in families and she may also have those "genetic predispositions" and 2) I've been finding out what's in these vaccines (a lot of junk, including aluminum, formaldehyde, and human tissue!).

Lucy got her first shot, the Hib (prevents Haemophilus influenzae type b bacteria, which causes bacterial meningitis, pneumonia, and other infections) at five months. Babies' immune systems often aren't ready for shots by two months, so we gave Lucy's body more time to develop. I'm getting her vaccinations one at a time (more spread out), so she only gets one shot at each doctor's visit, as opposed to the four or more that is standard protocol*. Also, she won't get the combination shots like the MMR; instead she'll get separate measles, separate mumps, and separate rubella shots. Here's how I plan to do all of her shots (probably not exactly to this schedule, but in this order and not any sooner than the ages listed):

5 months: Hib
6 months: DTaP
7 months: second series of Hib, IPV (Polio)
8 months: DTaP
9 months: third series of Hib, IPV
10 months: DTaP
15 months: measles
17 months: fourth series of Hib, IPV
27 months: rubella
39 months: mumps**
4-5 years: boosters for the measles, rubella, and mumps** shots (if possible, though, you can check for "titers" before giving boosters and may not need to give the boosters at all)
4 years: Hepatitis B

I haven't listed the chicken pox (varicella/varivax) vaccine because I may not get it for the children at all. I may file exemptions for both Nate and Lucy for some shots. Several states, including California, allow parents to file "philosophical exemptions." This way, they can still attend any school. FYI, California's school immunization record form has space on the back for a "personal beliefs" exemption request.

The book I've gotten most of my information from is What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations by Stephanie Cave. I like that the author, a doctor, isn't completely anti-vaccine; she just gives a fuller picture about what's in each vaccine, possible side effects, how best to protect our children, etc.

* More information on why I'm spreading Lucy's vaccinations out and only getting one at a time: "Marcel Kinsbourne, M.D., a pediatric neurologist and research professor at the Center for Cognitive Studies at Tufts University, expressed his concerns about multiple dosing to the House Committee on Government Reform when he was asked to speak on the subject of vaccine safety. Dr. Kinsbourne told his audience that 'when several vaccines are given at the same time, they may have adverse effects that none of the individual vaccines have when they are given by themselves....' In addition to the added assault on the immune system when more than one vaccine is given, injecting several vaccines makes it virtually impossible to know which one is responsible for any adverse reactions that may occur" (Cave, 2001, pp. 33-34).

** I keep thinking of more stuff to add! Lucy might not get the mumps shots at all. The major threat of the mumps disease is male sterility. (In addition, the rubella disease is rather mild except in cases where a pregnant woman contracts it; it can kill the baby. So girls don't need the mumps vaccine as much as boys do, and boys don't need the rubella vaccine as much as girls do.)

Edited to add: The book I'm currently reading presents evidence that the main issue with the MMR is the measles portion, and even separated out, the measles vaccine has caused problems.

Update January 2008: I have since decided not to get any vaccinations for Lucy. She has gotten the Hib (once at 5 months and once at 9 months), so I will probably get the other two rounds of that shot for her, but nothing else right now.

Fun week

We've been having such a good week with Mama here! I have "helped" ("Yes, that looks straight") as she wallpapered our guest bathroom, and it looks amazing. I'll take a picture tonight after we put up the mirror and light fixture. She also spoke at our MOPS this morning and did a terrific job. Since Nate got his cast off yesterday (YAY!!), we will probably take the kids to the Spectrum this afternoon so he can run in the fountains.

I've been putting together a post on vaccines and hope to get it done soon.

Nate saying "thumbs up!"


More fun pictures:

Visit

Speaking of house guests, my mom is coming tomorrow! She'll be here until Friday, and I am so excited. I told Nate today that Mimi is coming over tomorrow after church, and though he probably doesn't get the "tomorrow" thing, he has been saying "Mimi" randomly throughout the day. (He says it correctly now. And speaking of that, he is saying more and more every single day, including correctly pronouncing words he has thought he was saying correctly for weeks or months.)

My cousin, Hallie, posted some devastating information about what's in some of the vaccines we give our kids. I've been thinking about posting some of what I've been learning about vaccines, so I'll try to put something together soon.

Motivation

I love having guests to the house because it's my best motivation to do a good house cleaning. We're hosting a dinner tonight, so I've swept, mopped, dusted, cleaned bathrooms, and tidied our junk piles (kitchen counter and computer desk). I like having the house picked up and clean all of the time, but things do pile up. I'd love to be the mom who can keep a pristine house and play with her children too, but if it comes down to either or, I choose to be the mom whose house sometimes shows evidence that she just spent time with the kids that day!

Exersaucer

Nate at around 5 months and Lucy today (she'll be 6 months next week):

Explosion

Nate must be in the middle of a language explosion. He is saying so many more things just in the past week, including the actual words for yes, no, on, off, hi, and bye. He also started saying Daddy instead of Dada. It is so fun!

Oh no!

We woke up today to two sick children. I'd been thinking Lucy might be getting a cold for a couple of days, only because she had been sneezing. I was right, and Nate woke up with the same thing. At least they're only colds.

Progress

I feel like it's time for another inventory of all the progress Nate is making.

- He started saying bye bye (not just waving) about a month ago, and just in the past couple of days has started saying hi. (Both at appropriate times.) He pronounces "hi" very well, and then sometimes he is overzealous and it sounds like a karate chop "hi-ya!"
- A couple of weeks ago, Jon and I realized that Nate has stopped making his "signature" grunting noise--a loud, annoying noise he made when he was frustrated or not getting his way and that would get worse if we told him to stop. As he acquires more ways to communicate, he doesn't need that frustration noise anymore.
- In the past several days, he has started to put two words together (sporadically): bye bye Mama, bye bye snack (this afternoon), hi Dada, and all done (though I'm sure he thinks of "all done" as one word).
- He can jump really well (no more head-banger bouncing!), and it's cute too.
- He is sleeping so well--not waking at night and not crying in the morning. Months ago, he slept fine most nights, but at least one or two nights a week would involve waking and crying in the middle of the night. Also, he usually makes noise when he first wakes up in the morning now. He used to just sit/lie there in his crib for up to an hour just sort of waiting.
- He is eating a tiny bit better. He ate several blueberries for me at several meals this past week, though he refused the other new foods I tried to give. Food is just one of those battles that's really hard to win as a parent, since I am physically unable to make him eat something.

-This isn't necessarily progress, just a positive thing I'm always happy about: Nate is always gentle with others, especially children (and Lucy). I really love his gentle spirit. It's nice not to have to worry or interfere/referee if he is around other kids.

I'm sure there are more things, but it's time to get going to AWANA--the first night of the fall!

Good job, Nate!

Funny event this afternoon:

Couch

Here's a dimly lit picture of our new couch. It's a chocolate brown color, and the fabric is microsuede (very soft). It also has a sleeper. I like it!

The ottoman is new, too (ebay).

Weekend pics

Lucy on our new couch

The guys on the old one

A favorite time of day

That first hour after nap time is always so happy! Nate and I have gotten into the routine of reading several books together after he gets up. This works well because Lucy is usually still asleep; by the time we're done, she's often awake, so we go down together and say hi to her. I love this video.

Lucy - 5 months

Lucy is over five months old already! She has a fun personality and a very sweet disposition. She smiles a lot at Nate, and although he doesn't really get that, he still enjoys kissing her. She usually transitions from fully asleep straight to big smile. She still can roll from her stomach to her back and has almost rolled back to stomach but isn't quite there. She started chewing on her toes this past week. She usually catnaps in the morning since we are often out doing things or at therapy, and she takes a long afternoon nap around 12:30 or 1:00. She often still needs an evening catnap but doesn't easily go to sleep on her own at that time, so sometimes she's fussy. She doesn't laugh a big laugh like Nate did at this age; she does more of a cough-laugh, which is so cute. If she's smiling big, she opens her mouth really wide and gets a sparkle in her eye. She almost never spits up now (that change happened around 6 weeks to 2 months ago).

I think the rice cereal is upsetting Lucy's stomach a little bit, because she has woken up crying a few times during naps and also was awake six or seven times last night. (I'm tired!) I'm going to stop doing the cereal for a few weeks and then try again; I might just end up doing what I did with Nate, which is skip the cereal and go straight to baby food.

Bummer

I took Nate to get his cast off today! But, after an hour in the waiting room (and therefore a falling-to-pieces child), they took off his cast, took x-rays, and decided his bones aren't healed. They put on a new cast, but at least this one is under his elbow... and at least it doesn't smell (yet)! The entire ordeal was tiring but not too traumatic (even with the saw/vacuum thing they use to take off casts). I'm disappointed that we have another three weeks of no swimming, more difficult park-going, and no fountains at the Spectrum, but I want his arm to heal correctly, so that's OK!

Quick

The Zyme Prime arrived two days ago, so Nate is getting back to normal. It's nice to know what we're doing is having some effect!

Today in my parent meeting at Cornerstone, the head ABA therapist mentioned specifically that Nate is doing really well. He's interacting well, took turns well today, and is vocalizing a lot. :)

Revelation

I ordered more enzymes for Nate last week, as I have done several times, and they were set to arrive just before I ran out of the ones I had. The package came with only Peptizyde (not Zyme Prime) and a notification that Zyme Prime is backordered. I was out of Zyme Prime. I gave him just Peptizyde for a day or so until I could go to the local natural foods store and find a substitute "broad spectrum" enzyme to use until the ZP got here. The substitute I found has a much lower concentration of the various enzymes, but apparently a much worse taste (Nate takes it but then rubs his tongue to try to get the taste off), so I'm not even giving him a full capsule. Because of the low concentration of this replacement enzyme blend, I'm thinking it might be just above giving him nothing. Anyway, for the past three days or so, Nate has been very whiny and also very stimmy (turning in circles/spinning and doing lots of tip-toe walking, both things he hasn't done in months). It's a very obvious change. So, I guess it's nice to know the enzymes are really working well, but it's also really frustrating having the ZP backordered and not knowing when we'll get it. If it's going to be more than a couple more days, I need to go back to the store and find a better (more expensive, higher concentration) replacement.

Fun with Lulu

My sister helped me give Lucy her first rice cereal on Friday evening... She wasn't quite sure what to think!

Woowoo

My sister is here for the weekend! Nate saw her this morning and gave her a hug. He is calling her Woowoo (Lulu). :)

The motherhood club

I used to think that motherhood was like a club; once you had children, other mothers would exchange a knowing nod and smile, a sort of "Isn't this cool?" What I find generally in the real world, though, is an air of judgment. Even though that mother's child was probably screaming in the store last week (or thirty years ago), she still tsks at the other poor woman who is just trying to buy some groceries and keep her children quiet for five more minutes. Where is the mercy, the grace? The help?

Sometimes I catch myself wanting to look and seem put together, like I have it all figured out. But that is just so far from the truth! What I genuinely want, though, is to be transparent, for other mothers to see that I struggle too and ultimately need to rely on God.

Amy Scott posted some great thoughts recently:

Motherhood is not a competition but a calling. We are too needful of one another to be so short-suffering. Sometimes we concentrate on small things and miss the greater thing; sometimes we think a perfect method is a good substitute for genuine love.

Now that I'm also a mother of a child with autism, I believe that God has put this circumstance in my life so that I can learn from it and encourage and help other moms in similar situations. Mothering any child is a challenge, and I believe mothering a child with autism has some particular challenges that perhaps other moms don't understand. I've been praying to find (or form) a group of Christian moms with special needs children, because we all could use some judgment-free love!

Rejoice!

We are unpacked! The house is not clean, but we are unpacked. :) Jon worked a lot in the very hot garage over the weekend, and all of our things to store (maternity clothes, toys, etc.) are up on the shelves, so the car is now parked in there. I have a bit more organizing and putting away to do inside, but there isn't too much to do since I tried to do as much of that as possible while I unpacked. The only main decorating type thing I have left on my list is the guest bathroom, which is still lavender. Mama is going to help me wallpaper when she comes at the end of this month. Here's the wallpaper we got (I love it), though I found it for much less on a different website.

I'm off to fold laundry while Lucy naps and Nate is at therapy.

Fun weekend

Nate finally knows what I mean when I tell him to smile for the camera. I love the cheesy grin!


He also likes me to put him in Lucy's crib with her after her naps, and just this week he started thinking it was cool to "hold" her. (Whenever I'd put her on his lap in the past, he didn't like it.)


I had my hair done on Saturday--red again, but this time it's what I wanted.


Nate has a fun daddy.

A bit of bragging

Nate has been amazing us with his computer skills. He loves Starfall, an ABCs website, and now he can pretty much do all of the preschool portion by himself. He needs my help only on some of the memory/matching games. He is just mastering using the mouse this week--with his left hand of course, since his right still has a cast. I am so impressed!



In general, Nate is doing better and better with his communication. No one besides us knows what he is trying to say, but he is at least vocalizing and trying to use noises to express what he wants. I've even taught him to call "Mama" if he wants my help on the computer; he hasn't seemed to generalize that action to other areas (he doesn't call my name for anything else), but that will come.

I've been finding myself praying much more for patience, as I tend to get frustrated that Nate still can't talk--and he gets frustrated too. I have faith that God will give me more than I need.

We are so blessed by our little boy!

Congratulations are in order

Welcome to the world, Ezra Chalmers Hales! Bryce and Ashley welcomed their baby boy last night. I'd been checking their blog religiously waiting for the news, and he's finally here (a week past due)!

Some pictures

I just started giving Lucy baths in the tub instead of the baby bath seat I have for the sink. She had started kicking and splashing a bit too much in the sink (water was just pouring everywhere), so now she can kick as much as she wants!



Here is Nate leaving for "school" (therapy) this morning.

Home improvements

Here are some pictures of what I've been doing in the house lately. I'm almost done with the green in the kitchen. It's kind of a 70s avocado color, but I love it with the white cabinets (and what I hope will eventually be dark grey or black countertops). I'm unsure about the curtains, though (and ignore the pillows on the couch--they don't match). I like the panels but don't know about the valance. At first I put the valance in front of the curtains and didn't like it, but I think I like it a little better behind the panels (even though I know that isn't really the right way to do it). I might take it down completely!--we'll see.

From house to home

Well, I still have about five or six boxes still sitting around, but this week I've been doing the stuff I love--making this place feel like home. Today I've hung quite a few pictures, and I'm also hoping to finish the living room curtains in the next day or two. (I found this really great light blue/brown/tan fabric at the discount fabric place that is going to match our new couch perfectly.)

Here's Lucy enjoying her Bumbo.

Bath time

Nate's reaction to his first bath with a cast: not amused.

Cast

Yesterday at the orthopedist was not nearly as traumatic as it could have been. They didn't need to set the bone, so they just put the cast right on--it was very easy. Nate slept great last night and is his usual self today.

What a day!

Are you like me--do you think little kids who have casts are just so cute but just so sad, and you wonder how those kinds of things happen? Well, wonder no more, because Nate is now one of those children... Nate fell off of a tiny slide in the toddler nursery at church this morning and broke his arm in two places (the radius and the ulna).


We knew it was more than just a typical injury because he cried for more than two minutes, but even then he didn't cry very much (a testament, we think, to his high pain tolerance). He kept his arm by his side and didn't move it, though he could move his fingers. It wasn't too fun getting the x-rays or holding him still to have the splint put on, but Nate is a trooper. He was happy to have a Happy Meal and chocolate milk afterwards (with enzymes of course). We have to take him to the orthopedist tomorrow to have a cast put on. :( Poor boy! I hope these are his only broken bones, but since Nate is all boy, all the time, I'm not so sure!