Nate's new hobby

Nate has been writing some cute things lately. It all started when we told him we needed to limit his video game playing and said he could make a schedule and decide which days he would like to play so we could discuss it. So he created this:



("The days I can play my video games
Friday - Thursday - Monday - Tuesday
Nate Varela")

He decided that was fun, because he liked the checkboxes. A few days later, he did this during nap time. It's some sort of discipline tactic he created for his toys (which, by the way, mirrors something his teacher is doing for him at school).



("For all of my toy cars
XXXXX
Oodie
XXX
All Xed means no played
for the rest of the week
Sooril
XXXXX")

He created this one the other morning for Lucy (and, although the last line made me laugh, we had to talk about that one):



("The days Lucy can play
with my Wedgits
Days for Lucy Varela

Lucy can never
come in my room")

This week, he has been creating games for us to play in the car. This one was for me to check off each box as I saw the required object on our drive:



("19 red lights
Only for my mom

My mom has to do this tomorrow")

My new toy

Using some funds from my Etsy shop, I got a new sewing toy: the Accuquilt GO! Baby fabric cutter. I also bought one die to make a few different flower shapes and circles. After just 2 minutes of playing with it, I had these!




The main reason I wanted this cutter is because the quilt I'm planning on making for Lucy (when we switch her to a twin bed) will have lots of appliqued flowers on it. I tried other ways of cutting flowers (using a scalloped-edge rotary cutter was one), but this will make them consistent in shape and size. And I'm so excited about it! (Nerdy, I know.)

Look what else came today:



the fabric I ordered for Lucy's quilt. The cheater print--the hexagons with pinks and greens and blues--will be the quilt back. The polka dot will be a border on the front/top. The stripe is for the binding. The rest of the quilt top will be white (I already have that fabric), with appliqued flowers all over it using all of my pink and green scraps (I have a ton!). I am SO excited to get started on it!

Lucy spurt

Over the past 2 to 3 weeks, Lucy has had some sort of developmental spurt. All of the things she had been struggling with 90% of every day have turned into 10%-of-the-day, manageable issues.

A month ago, she fussed/cried/threw fits in the car about her car seat being too tight: every car ride, the whole car ride, every day. I had to pull the car over for discipline several times a day. Now, we have pleasant car rides, with very little to no complaining, with singing, with pleasant conversation. Somehow, the difference here just came one day. She was pleasant in the car all day, and I made a point to make a big deal about it with Jon when he got home from work. She was so proud. Now, at the end of each day, she tells him, beaming, that she didn't fuss in the car all day.

A month ago, she fussed every day about her clothes and shoes being too tight: every outfit, every shoe, every morning. I purposely picked the least constricting, softest knits, gave her a choice of two outfits, etc. She still threw fits (and received cold-shower disciplines pretty regularly). Now, I still pick soft outfits, but she puts them on without a fuss and even willingly puts on her shoes. Weird. She even wore her AWANA Cubbies uniform vest this past Wednesday for the first time. (I never chose to make the vest a battle, since I knew she'd think it was too tight and just wanted her to behave during Cubbies.)

A month ago, she started having toilet accidents several times a day (one day it was 8 in a day! I called the doctor about an infection, but she didn't have one). Now, not only has she had no accidents, but she is now in regular underwear overnight (no more pull-ups). To me, this is a physical manifestation that something was going on with her developmentally a month ago: her brain was working on a big jump, so the physical took a back seat for a week or two while her brain worked it out. Then, it all clicked.

Life is so much more pleasant. Yesterday, when she did start fussing about her car seat, I pulled the car over, got out, and spoke calmly but firmly to her. She responded with, "OK, Mama. I will stop." What?! A month ago, when I spoke calmly but firmly to her, it did nothing (and would then escalate into further discipline and crying).

Thank you, God, for this breakthrough.

How kids care for their toys

Daddy tells a story about me when I was little (maybe 3?). My toy shopping cart had broken, and he spent some time fixing it. After I got it back from him, I promptly smashed it into the wall several times, breaking it again. I told him, "See Daddy? It isn't fixed!"

Mini quilt project with Lucy

Lucy and I finished decorating those mini dresses together. She loved hanging them up in her chosen location.



My favorite is the green one. Lucy loves the yellow one with the tutu.





I stitched around the outsides of two of the dresses, so now they look like appliques. I got tired of all the stitching and didn't do it on the third dress. ;)

Mama's visit

We had a great time with Mama/Mimi last weekend. Her visits are always too short!

School decisions

I've been praying about decisions for the kids' schooling over the next couple of years. I still don't know exactly what we'll do, but here's where I'm leaning:

Lucy, who will be 4 and a half in the fall, would go to preschool 3 days/week. She's been dying to start school.
Nate will homeschool with me for 1st grade.

Wait, did I just say homeschool? That is not me. I'm the mom who has been counting down the days until all my kids are in school. (I love my kids--I really, really do--but I'm also an introvert and crave some daily alone time.)

There are many reasons I'm leaning in this direction. One main factor is cost. Nate's current school had to raise tuition, and we'd also be paying nearly twice as much anyway because he'd switch from half-day kindergarten to full-day school. If we send Lucy to preschool instead (at the place where Nate did his "mainstreamed" preschool), the cost would be about 1/4. Then I could set aside some funds for field trips and homeschool supplies.

If cost were the only factor, then public school would probably be the easy choice for Nate. But the second factor is boredom. Nate comes home telling me the "sight words" they went over in class ("Mom, we learned the new site words 'as' and 'the' this week")--all while he is able to read chapter books on his own. When they do learn something new to him in school (there have been math concepts he didn't know), he loves it. If I can help it, I don't want Nate to believe that learning is boring, slow, with nothing new or exciting. (I initially put "school" in that sentence instead of "learning"--but it's learning that he loves now, and I don't want him to lose that.) All of this isn't meant to say "I have such a smart, smart little snowflake and I don't want inferior schooling to tarnish him!" Not at all. I do want to figure out what's best for him, though. And I also realize that if he homeschools and eventually wants to go back to school, the grade level issue will still be there.

One of the reasons I think I might be able to do this is if Lucy is at preschool. The combination of all 3 children at once is what I feel might put me over the edge of overwhelmedness (is that a word?). Even with Luce in school, I'm still quite apprehensive about homeschooling (the organization required. the decisions about materials. the actual teaching time. the space). But on Lucy's days off from preschool, we could do our field trips or easy school days.

I've been mulling all of this over for a couple of months now, and I feel like God has been nudging me with different encouragements over that time. A friend from church gave a talk at a recent MOPS about changing our mentality about learning and how our kids learn, allowing them to pursue their interests and passions, not bogging them down with what they "should" be learning compared to other kids. Then Nate's school's announcement came about tuition increases.

I'm still unsure. :)

Just like Lulu!

Lucy did her own styling the other day and told me, "Mama, look! I'm wearing this scarf just like Lulu wears her purse!"

Why'd it take me so long to figure this out?

Although Nate loves school, he doesn't like getting ready in the mornings. Each day was the same thing: me reminding him several times to get dressed, then to eat, then to put on his shoes, then to brush his teeth, etc. Each time, he'd whine. This is obviously an attitude-obedience-discipline issue, BUT I also needed to figure out something that worked better. WHY did it take me so long to think of writing up a schedule for him? When I printed this out and posted it (in his bedroom and also in the kitchen), he loved it.



He likes to know when things need to be done, and of course he loves that it's the same each day. Now, it's amazing. I usually have to remind him about the first step or two, but then by brushing-teeth time, he usually does it on his own before I even say a thing. It's a miracle!

Valentine creation: Love lives here

Here's what I've been working on all week. (It's 99% done, anyway.) I woke up on February 1 with a lot of craft energy (sometimes I have it and sometimes I don't) after having seen this adorable Valentine's advent/count-down calendar on Leslie's blog. The idea is you write a little love note to each member of the family and put it in their pocket for that day--one for each day in February leading up to Valentine's Day. We've been reading the notes written the previous day during breakfast each morning. By the time Valentine's Day hits, each person will have 50+ notes of love in their pockets.


Nate and Lucy are loving this. On Tuesday night at MOPS, we moms did a love language evaluation for our children (to determine what we thought our kids' love languages are), and it confirmed what I already knew about Nate: he is a words-of-affirmation lover. So this love note thing is right up his alley. (Plus, he's all about routine, calendars, and schedule, so seeing the 14 days and 5 people organized visually appeals to him.)


I was able to make this whole thing with materials I had on hand (except for the fabric for the binding, which I bought on sale). It is basically a quilt (two layers of white fabric with batting in between), with the pockets sewn straight onto it, embroidered numbers (which, yes, are unfinished--I wanted to take pictures in daylight so only made it up to 4 this morning), and "Love lives here" letters made using fabric and Heat n Bond (which lets you turn fabric into iron-ons).


I'm excited to do this every year, save the notes, and document how our family is growing--in age and also in love toward one another.

Fun desktop backgrounds

While I try to finish sewing up the craft I wanted to post, here's something fun:

Each month, I like to use the free desktop backgrounds found on this site. I pick pictures from the previous month and get to enjoy seeing them each time I sit at the computer. Here's our February desktop:

Some pictures

I'm working on a fun craft that I think will be finished today. I can't wait to post and explain it. For now, here are Lucy and Levi.

Levi lately

I love Levi's language lately (how's that for alliteration?):

• Putting down a toy he didn't want: "I don't want it that."
• Seeing a picture of Nate riding a bike: "Dere's Nate ride biking."
• For a few weeks, he has called me "mummy" in a decidedly British way.
• Hearing Jon say it often, he has now taken to saying, "You un'stan me?" to Lucy and Nate.
• He loves Kix, which he calls either "Glix" or "Klix."
• He calls his blanket his "glanky."
• Balloon is a one-syllable one for him: "bloon!"
• And, as Casey noted in the comments, he is quite adamant when he is being feisty. One morning, I made a soft-boiled egg for him like I usually do. He didn't want it. "No eggs ever GAIN!!!" ("ever 'gain" is definitely an everyday part of his vocabulary)
  

Quilt show inspiration

Colleen and I went to a quilt show in Ontario on Sunday. It was so fun. There were several booths I could have spent lots of time in, including one that had every cute vintage and new ribbon, trim, button, ric rac, and lace you could imagine, sorted and displayed by color on vintage spools and in vintage glass bottles. I also got LOTS of inspiration for my next quilt, which will be a twin size for Lucy's room (when we switch the boys to bunk beds and give the twin bed to Luce).

Here's the only picture I managed to take at the show, since the booth vendors don't want you to take pictures of their stuff:



I liked the scalloped border and think I'll do at least one or two edges of Lucy's quilt scalloped like this.

I also loved a quilt a vendor had in her booth that had several different girl dresses adorned with tiny buttons, ric rac, lace, etc. It was just very sweet. I told her as much, and since it was getting toward the end of the day, she said if I came back at 3:30, she would give me her last piece of fabric that she used for the quilt. I couldn't pass that up! So I came home with about 1/2 a yard of the fabric, with 6 dresses on it. Lucy and I are making it a mini-quilt project. Here are 5 of the dress squares cut, pinned, and ready to be quilted (all of which Lucy helped with):




Then we will adorn the dresses (think fabric belts, mini buttons, ric rac, aprons, etc.). I plan to frame a few for Lucy's walls and use 2 to make a pillow. Lucy is SO excited.

A favorite stage

One of my favorite things about little kids has always been their art. Lucy just started doing the "sticks coming out of the head as arms and legs" thing, and I love it.

Levi counting

Levi counted some cars for me today. He always skips 11, and then all the teens sound the same (sir-teen). :)

A January beach day

It is in the 80s today, so we packed up and went to the beach for a couple of hours. I love where we live!





Lucy posing as she waits for the waves:

Wipeout

The kids love watching Wipeout, the obstacle course show designed basically to cause the most spectacular falls/crashes/wipeouts possible, with Jon. I like watching them watch it. :)

The case of the ruined library book

Last week, I caught Nate drawing with pen in one of his library books. He knew it was wrong, as he tried to hide it when I walked in. I told him it was wrong to do that and asked what he thought we should do when we had to return the book. His first response was, "Don't tell them!" (as in, Mama, please don't tell the library what I did). I said that no, we would have to tell them, but I would talk to Daddy first. Jon and I decided that Nate would have to bring the book to the librarian himself, tell her what he had done, apologize, and ask how he could make it right. We knew we'd probably have to pay for the book, so we told Nate he will do extra chores around the house to pay us back.

Today we went to the library after school to return our books. The person behind the returns desk was a somewhat-gruff-looking older man, and Nate asked if he could please not talk to him. :) So I looked around and saw a woman at the information desk and told Nate he could go to her. He walked up, said "Excuse me," and opened the book. "I'm sorry I wrote with pen in this book. What do I need to do to make it right?" The lady told him he'd have to go tell the children's librarian. As we were leaving to find her, the first lady smiled at Nate and thanked him for being honest. We found the other librarian, and Nate repeated his apology (word for word). She explained that it ruined the book, and we would have to pay for it. But she also said it was good that he was brave and told the truth.

I paid for the book as we checked out our new ones, and now I have to think of some good houseworky things he can do to earn $15. :)

What I've learned

Inspired by this post, I am going to write an actual post!

I should start by saying that the biggest thing I've learned in the past few years is that I know way less than I thought I knew. Thinking I know it all is a sign of blind pride, and nothing has taught me that truth more than motherhood!

But I guess I have learned a few things worth sharing with others, so here I go.

On parenting
Let go of expectations about how your children will turn out--as babies, as young kids, and beyond. Enjoy who they are and try not to compare them to other children.

Give grace to other moms who are trying to do right or who are obviously having a bad day. I had a big list of "I will nevers" before I had kids. (I will never let my children do x in the middle of a store. I will never let my children talk to me in x sort of way. Insert your "I will never" here.) Then I had kids. And I learned that, in those situations where I feel I must give in on something, I certainly don't want to be judged. I appreciate a sympathetic smile, though.

On having a child with autism
Some may consider this a negative trial, but going through it, mourning the loss of what I thought mothering was going to be like the first time around, I learned much about letting go of expectations and embracing the beauty of what the Lord has given me.

But you do mourn the loss of your "blissful mothering experience," and you mourn for your child's lost childhood. It's hard seeing others' neurotypical children who just "get it." Their moms don't have to teach them how to talk or communicate; they just get it. Their moms can go to parks and playdates and fun stuff, all while you're taking your child to therapy.

Doing something to try to help your child is far better than sitting around wallowing. Read. Research. Talk to others. And, please, try the GFCFSF diet.

On marriage
Just as I rest in the security of my husband's love, he rests in the security of my respect. It doesn't make sense to the female brain, but it works. For me, practically, this means never speaking negatively about him to our children or to my friends. It means telling him and showing him how much I respect and appreciate how hard he works to provide for our family. It means remembering that he is not another one of my children, so I should not speak to him as if he were one.

When you want your husband to do something, just ask. Spell it out. None of this passive-aggressive stuff, expecting him to "just know" what you want without having to tell him. Chances are, he wants to please you but just needs some direction, because what you wanted yesterday is different from what you want today.

Dress-up time

Sweater refashion

I enjoy the Grosgrain blog a lot and have made a few of her things. Last month, she did a series on refashioning knit cardigans, and I was inspired to redo this old sweater of mine:



Those pictures are from Nate's baby dedication 5 years ago!

Using this post as inspiration, I added some polka dot chiffon and cording, and now look how fun!

Wreath update

Here are my new and improved front-door wreaths. Don't the flowers and yo-yos look better than that sad bow? :)

A Big Bear New Year

Over the weekend, we drove up to Big Bear and spent the night in a cabin owned by a family at church. Once Jon got the cabin warmed up (it was in the 20s!), we enjoyed hanging out.

The kids got a little stir crazy:



On Saturday, we went sledding in the beautiful snow. Lucy was first to try it, and she liked it until she got snow in her boots. Nate didn't want to sled at first, and he waited around for a bit before deciding to try it. Then he loved it. Levi wanted absolutely nothing to do with the snow or the snow clothes--perhaps because the snow suit was pink (borrowed from a girl cousin)!--so he spent the whole time in the car.








After sledding, we had lunch, took a nap at the cabin, and drove home. It was a quick but fun trip.