Adventures in the park

I took Nate to the park yesterday afternoon after running a few errands. For most of the time, there weren't any other kids there, which I like since Nate is often one of the youngest and sometimes can get accidentally pushed around (older kids forget how wobbly and unsteady toddlers might be on the play structures). The only other child there ended up being a little girl who was maybe 2 and a half--a good head taller than Nate. Nate mostly played on his own but tried to instigate play with her a couple of times, walking up to her and then turning and running, trying to get her to chase him (she didn't). (On another note, this is definitely progress for him as far as social interaction goes.) He also followed her one time to one of the play structures, but she kept yelling, "Stop!" and "No!" at him, so I was glad when he decided to go off on his own again. (I wasn't going to tell him to go somewhere else; he wasn't doing anything wrong, so, if anything, the other mother should have told her kid to stop complaining 'cause the baby wasn't doing anything to her.) Nate and the girl ended up at the same slide structure later. While she was going up the steps, she half kicked, half nudged Nate with her shoe to make him go away (the mother saw this, but was on the phone so didn't say anything). He took a step back and waited for her to go up. After she was up the three or four steps, he started to go up. She thought for a second, turned back around, came down the steps, and kicked Nate hard in the face. It surprised and hurt him, and he started crying strongly. The mother got off the phone, and said, "Olivia, that wasn't nice! Please say you're sorry! That was not nice."

Excuse me? Please say you're sorry? That's how you're going to address your child maliciously kicking a much younger child in the face? I was seething. I picked Nate up and held him there long enough for the kid to laugh out an I'm sorry, and I walked away. My instincts were telling me to yell at this mom (I was angrier at her than at the girl, who obviously doesn't receive much discipline). If the mom doesn't believe in spanking, fine, then take the child off the slide, sit her on a bench, and give her a time out...just do something.

This situation is not unique--I'm sure every mom witnesses her child being hurt by another, especially at playgrounds, but it still makes me mad. And I felt so bad for my little Nate, who just wanted to play and in this instance was really just minding his own business, and here came a little brat who was so mean to him.

Nate is fine, by the way. :)

This week

Well, we're into week two of therapy, and though I'm still discouraged about the scheduling of it, I'm happy about how it's going. It is still new and maybe a bit overwhelming for Nate--he fell asleep in the car on the way home today, which is very unusual for him--but in another two or three weeks, he'll have the hang of it. He saw an occupational therapist yesterday, who gave me a couple of stretching exercises/manipulations to do on Nate's face each day to help develop his "tone" and gums, since his upper lip apparently is a bit overly attached to his gums/teeth. Today he saw a physical therapist for an evaluation since he hasn't been PT-evaluated at this center before. I didn't go in with them for that part, so I'm not sure what they did. He also saw the speech therapist today, who said she worked with him on things like chewing on a specific toy thingy and trying to blow into a recorder (hasn't done that yet). She gave me a handout on different mouth exercises to do with him (sucking through a tiny straw, blowing into an instrument, etc.).

Small breakthrough?

I listened to how the therapists speak to the kids at the center this week and tried to take some of that knowledge home with me. Twice today, Nate followed instruction that he has never followed before--bringing an object to me. Could it be because I said it in a new way? "Nate: teddy bear give Mama" and "Nate: keys give Mama" worked both times. Whenever I have said before, "Nate: give the keys to Mama. Bring Mama the keys. Take the keys here to Mama," I've been met by a blank stare. I thought he was being obstinate, but maybe, just maybe, he really didn't understand. I know there's still plenty of belligerence in that little boy of mine, but I was so pleased today to see him wanting to cooperate when he understood what it was I wanted.

From one to two

We are getting pretty close to being a family of four! My due date is two months from tomorrow.

I am nervous about having two. Although I feel like taking care of Nate at the beginning came relatively naturally to me (especially because he was an easy-going infant), I'm anxious about doing all of that and having a toddler at the same time. The sleep deprivation at night was OK with Nate, because then I could sleep during the day when he napped. Nursing was generally relaxing and easy, because it meant sitting down and being quiet with no distractions. Sticking to a schedule/routine was natural and effortless, because the only child who mattered was Nate, and he thrived on the schedule I put him on. Not so this time. Sleeping during the day won't be an option most of the time. I'm hopeful that nursing won't be a stressful time, that Nate won't be too jealous, that this baby will eat quickly (some take 45 minutes each time, some 10!). As far as routine goes, I really like and need structure, but I know I'll learn to be more flexible too (already have a little bit).

I guess I'm mostly nervous about having two because I now know how much effort, energy, and selflessness go into having just one. And now I'm about to start over again! And of course I ask the question I've heard so many parents ask: "How can I love another child as much as I love my first?" It's true. Nate is my pumpkin, my sweet boy, my laughing partner... and I don't even know the name of this next baby. At this point, I think more about how the next child will affect Nate, and not how much I'm sure we're going to love him/her and how much joy he/she will bring to our family. I'm just nervous!

So far

After three days of going to Nate's therapy, I can tell it's going to be a big adjustment! Nate and I both were tired this morning (proof of this occurred when he kept crying for no real reason), and driving home I couldn't believe I have to go back again tomorrow. It takes about a half hour to get there (a long time by So-Cal standards). The center does have therapists who do in-home therapy, and I have requested that for us, so I'm hopeful that some of the therapy can be done at our house so that I only have to drive there, say, two days a week instead of four. Logistically, it will be hard for them to schedule in-home therapy because we live so far away, but I'm praying it'll still happen.

As far as the actual therapy goes, I am pleased. I like the therapists and am excited to see the progress I know Nate will make. It will take a few weeks for Nate to get used to the therapists and the routine, but I think he will thrive. As far as I can tell, most of the parents drop their kids off or wait in the waiting room for them while the kids have their therapy, so I will probably eventually do that for at least the majority of his therapy sessions (especially after the baby is born). For this first week, though, I plan on going in with Nate and observing so that 1) he will be comfortable and 2) I can see what I can be doing at home to foster his development. (In the future, I may go observe at least part of his therapy each week so I can be involved. There is a scheduled half-hour parent meeting each week with one of the head therapists, and she fills me in on all they're doing and answers any questions I have, but I may still observe for extra benefit.) So far, the therapists are just seeing where Nate is and not doing much in-depth work from what I can tell, but they will work on getting him to communicate what he wants (more, all done, help me with this toy, I want something to eat, etc.) without prompting from an adult, developing appropriate play with toys (not lining things up, for example), imitating, eye contact--when name is called and also spontaneously for approval/interaction, socializing, identifying body parts, imitating animal noises, learning to sort by shape and size, eating more foods, self-feeding, and more.

Therapy

Nate's therapy starts today. The center called me last week to give me the schedule, and I was and am kind of disheartened by it, because they're having us come in four days per week (Monday-Thursday). It wouldn't be so bad if it were closer, but since the center is in Huntington Beach, going for just an hour of therapy will turn into a several-hour venture--four times per week. I told the lady on the phone that I was under the impression that three of the five hours of therapy were going to be at our house, and she didn't know that (there has been some miscommunication instigated, I believe, by the case worker at the state program). The lady at the center has always seemed very accommodating and is going to see if we can do the three hours of ABA at our house (they have one therapist who would be able to come that far). If that does work out, then I'd only have to take Nate to Huntington two days a week. As it is now, here's the schedule:

Mondays 3:00-4:00
Tuesdays 9:30-11:00
Wednesdays 10:00-11:00
Thursdays 9:30-11:00

That's a lot for a 21 month old. Oh, and it will be nearly impossible in April-May-June as I'll have Nate and the new baby. What I'm hoping, at least, is that Nate enjoys the therapy and thinks of it as play time; it won't be such a burden to take him if he thinks it's fun.

Quick

I'm feeling much better today... My senses of smell and taste are pretty much back, and I can hear out of one ear at least (my ears never "popped" when the plane descended on Monday night; now one ear is fine and one basically feels deaf. It's incredibly annoying). I just wanted to write a quick update and say I'll write soon about Nate's therapy--I got a call with his new schedule.

Home

I don't know how I ended up with such a great little traveler, but Nate did great again yesterday for our flights home. I was pretty miserable not being able to breathe (I caught Nate's sickness with a vengeance over the last 3 or 4 days), but I'd much rather be the one who is sick (not Nate). I'm feeling pretty terrible again today, but I'm hopeful that tomorrow will be better.

Here is Nate on a walk with Grandpa:


And playing with Mimi:


I'm 30 weeks along today! That means the baby is close to 3 pounds and over 15 inches along. He/she is still a mover and shaker, especially when I sit down or lie down. I feel huge but know I'll still get much bigger from here...

:)

Nate has made a nice recovery and was acting much more himself yesterday and today. Even better, he slept through the night last night and the night before, which makes for a much happier Mama. We're having a good time just hanging out with the family and taking it easy. I'm looking forward to being home with my husband tomorrow, though!

VA

Nate was an angel for our travel day yesterday. He was fascinated getting to see so many airplanes up close (for months, he looks for and points out every plane we see in the sky at home). We had a row of 3 seats to ourselves for the OC-Atlanta flight, so we spread out and Nate watched a few videos, ate some snacks, etc. He even clutched his blanket, sucked his pacifier, and sat still for a good half hour (he should have been napping, but sitting still and silent is nearly as good). The Atlanta-Lynchburg flight went quickly, and now we're here! Nate is definitely still sick, though. He was up several times last night and is back to being kind of cranky/fussy/sad today, with what seems like a slight fever. That just means to me that God answered the prayers of everyone who prayed that the travel day would go smoothly yesterday!

Still going

Nate is worse, not better, but we're still going to VA tomorrow. He's running a fever and has the worst cough he's ever had, but I really want to visit my family and know my mom will help me take care of Nate, sick or well. The major downside is the day of travel (including a layover). Alone. With a sick 20 month old. I'm bringing our portable DVD player (an absolute lifesaver without which I would not travel) and lots of videos, some books, snacks, and prayers. :) We'll be back Monday night.

Weekend

We had a wonderful time on the retreat. It was a low-key retreat without much planned; we all just played games, went on a nice walk, some went snowboarding (not me), ate out twice, had some times of worship, some of us girls scrapbooked, etc. The cabin we stayed in was REALLY nice (it belongs to one of the participants' uncle). It has 6 bedrooms, 4.5 baths; Jon and I had our own room and own bathroom. Two couples did have to share a room, but that's it. It was relaxing, fun, and beautiful!

We came home to a happy but sick son. :( Nate has a fever, cough, and stuffy nose. He is still acting OK, though, so it's good to know he isn't miserable. I pray that he feels much better by Thursday, though, because he and I are going to Virginia for a last-minute trip! I'm very excited.

Banana

Retreat

Jon and I are going on a marriage retreat this weekend to Big Bear with 6 or 7 other couples from church. I've really been looking forward to it! Nate will be staying at Ray and Colleen's house. This is the second time we will have left Nate with grandparents for more than a quick overnight (the retreat is 2 nights). Nate likes it so much at Ray and Colleen's house that he most likely won't notice we're gone. It's nice not to have to worry at all.

I'm looking forward to some time with friends and with my husband... without school! Since Jon started University of Phoenix a few months ago, he has been so busy with it. I am so proud of him for doing so well--working a more-than-full-time job, taking care of a wife and son, and getting great grades in full-time college classes! But doing all of that means that he gets home from work every day, eats dinner with me, and goes right to work on school work. He's usually still working when I go to bed. Weekends aren't much better, since his classes have work due usually on Fridays and Sundays. Anyway, he's trying to have his work done for the weekend so we can have a true retreat. I can hardly wait!

Better

Today was the first day in nearly a week that Nate slept until later than 6:00 a.m. Who knew I would ever rejoice to get to "sleep in" until 7:00?

Night before last, I had a vivid dream that I had our baby, and it was a boy--but we still hadn't picked out even one boy name we liked, so the baby went nameless for a few days. In the dream, I ended up calling him Eli, but I think that's because my friend Ricci's 4-month-old son is named Eli (Elijah).

Audiology appointment

I'm no longer sure Nate is sick. I think he just might be having some monster-strength teething. He woke up a little after 4:00 today and was up for good at 5:00 (in a good mood at least). What happened to last week, when he slept in until 8:00 every day?

Nate and I got back from his audiology appointment a few minutes ago. It went well, and he has normal hearing. Nate sat in my lap in a chair in a small room with a window (how's that for 4 prepositional phrases in a row?). Anyone who knows Nate knows that keeping him in a sitting position, especially in my lap, is a feat in and of itself! I lured him with Honey Nut Cheerios. Anyway, in the room there are two speakers, one on the left and one on the right. The doctor turned on various noises (quiet static, different pitches of a whistling noise, etc.) in one speaker or the other and observed to see if Nate would look toward them. If he did, a toy just below the speaker would light up and play. The doctor also spoke through a microphone a few times in the left or right speaker. Nate seemed to respond to most all the cues if he wasn't trying to get out of my lap. He did well. So no surprises today!

Changing plans

Nate woke up this morning with a cold. Bleh! If he's sick, it changes most of this week's plans--at least any plans that involve someone else watching Nate. I was going to go in for my glucose test (a pregnancy screening to see if I have gestational diabetes) on Wednesday and have my neighbor watch Nate, but she has a 9-month-old daughter. I have really been looking forward to getting my hair cut on Thursday, and Casey is supposed to watch Nate, but she has 4-month-old Bennett. I just remember not wanting to watch someone else's sick child when Nate was really little (heck, I still feel that way now). And unless Jon can get home early on Wednesday, I will probably have to stay home from AWANA because I shouldn't put Nate in the nursery. Nate has his audiology appointment tomorrow, which I will still take him to. I hate when Nate is sick!

Progress

Jon and I have really been encouraged in the past 6 weeks or so with Nate's development. It's like having the evaluation at the end of November spurred something in him! He has become much more interactive with others, especially other children; he started doing the sign for "more"; he learned all 9 of the shapes in a puzzle he got for Christmas (I ask, "Where is the [trapezoid, circle, triangle, pentagon, etc.]?" and he picks up the correct shape); he points to objects in books when asked where they are; he now pays attention much more often when his name is called; he seems to understand even more of what I say to him. It is a bit of a relief. Several people who know what they're talking about (educators, etc.) have also known that the word "autism" has floated around in reference to Nate, but they have commented to me that he does not fit the picture of the other kids they've seen with autism, even high functioning autism. That is promising. We still aren't sure if we'll take him to the pediatric neurologist, but at this point I'm leaning toward no.

Promised pics

Here is Nate in his new car (and the first picture has the back/side of our house in the background). :)

Car

Jon did get a car on Saturday! It's our first car purchase together, since we have had the Sentra and Tiburon since before we got married. Jon traded in the Tiburon, so now he'll drive the Sentra and I'll drive our new (well, new to us) 2006 Dodge Durango. It only had 12,000 miles on it. I'm super excited!--especially now that we don't have to worry about fitting car seats and passengers into our vehicle. :)