The Varelas

I haven't written anything about my "weight loss journey" in here, but I think I should since it has been such a part of my life for the past 9 months or so.

I wasn't overweight growing up, but starting in college (when I no longer participated in organized sports and also had cafeteria food every day), I did the rollercoaster thing--up 10-20 pounds or so during the winter, down 8 to 10 pounds in the summer. I hovered somewhere between 135 and 145. For my 5'5" frame, I think around 130 is really optimal. I got to a great weight--probably around 132 (I never weighed myself)--for our wedding, and in the year after we got married, I gained just under 30 pounds. I don't feel like I "let myself go," but with adjusting to married life, cooking for two (instead of eating my mom's healthy cooking), working in a job I disliked (until May 2003 at least), and all in all loving food and eating, those 30 pounds flew on me so fast I didn't even realize it was happening. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. When we went to the beach with our church friends on Sunday nights beginning in May 03 for cookouts, I wore regular clothes while most everyone else wore swimsuits. I was not as good of a wife as I could have been--feeling bad about myself often put me in a bad mood or made me snappy towards Jon. I get embarrassed thinking back about how I was. I am embarrassed that I let myself gain so much weight, when I have always wanted to look great for my husband. It isn't about looking great for other people, it's about my husband and being desirable to him. Here is sort of a "before" picture of me (I don't have many!)--this was actually taken when I had already lost 8 pounds.

Exactly at Jon's and my one-year anniversary, June 2003, I went back to Weight Watchers (I had done Weight Watchers with my mom a few summers before with just about 10 pounds to lose, and I lost the amount and then stopped going, since my mom was paying for it). I just love WW! It is such a healthy, balanced way of eating and thinking. I don't feel like I'm "working" to get the weight off; I just need structure, and then I'm on a roll. I got down to my WW goal of 140 at the end of October. My personal goal was 132. Here is an "after" picture of me--much happier and with my new hairstyle (a reward for losing 28 pounds)!

I am most thankful for Jon, my wonderful, supportive husband who never said anything demeaning about my weight and who always told me I'm beautiful. Now he DOES call me "Skinny Wife" though! The other day when we were out to dinner, he even told me he thinks I'm thinner now than I was when we got married--which surprised me because I didn't think I am. But I guess I am!

Here's a link to my weight loss chart, which I last updated in December when I reached WW lifetime status. I have since kept watching what I eat (I don't think that will ever end--it's a "lifestyle change," not a diet) and have gotten down to my personal goal! Now that I've started to go to the gym again, I think I will make it down to 2 pounds below my personal goal to end up at a nice round figure (but not a nice round body!), which will also put me 10 pounds below my WW goal (a good buffer so that I will remain at lifetime status).

Feeling better about myself and my health has been such a wonderful change. This is not about all of that new age, self-esteem, "you need to love yourself" mentality stuff--this is a health thing: a healthy mentality and attitude toward food (it is not a bandaid or comfort to run to when sad/happy/bored) and a healthy physical body. I am definitely a better wife now, and that is what is most important to me. I am back to being more outgoing and friendly with our friends. I am also proud that I lost weight the "right way"--not by giving up an entire food group or losing weight at a too-fast rate, but by balancing what I eat and adding physical activity into my day to lose weight slowly but steadily. This is something I can stick with forever! :)