Nate & Lucy

Lucy is so sweet. She definitely likes to nurse and is a good sleeper. She has had a few consistent awake times each day and then at night, she goes right back to sleep after nursing. She has especially long fingers, hands, and feet--just like her Aunt Lucy! And it looks like she might have the same hairline as her Aunt Lucy, too. At her well check at the doctor's office yesterday, Lucy weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces--her birth weight exactly, which is great. (Nate was still 11 ounces below his birth weight when he was about the same age.) She has jaundice, but it's minor and already looks a bit better today. (Nate had jaundice too.)

Nate is either still sick or has come down with something new. He has a 102-degree fever today and is acting like he feels terrible. Oh, and he is becoming a Daddy's boy. He has only wanted Jon today, not me. This week has altered his perceived reality of "Mama is on this planet for me and me alone." He has been fussy and testy this week (throwing things on the floor, licking the floor, banging objects on the wall, acting like he's going to bite me, etc.!), and I'm giving him lots of extra grace since #1 he doesn't feel good and #2 this whole little sister thing is very upsetting. He has mostly just ignored Lucy, but he doesn't like that she is with me so much. I'm being very laid back with letting him get up on the couch next to me when I'm nursing (not telling him to watch out for the baby or shielding her from him or anything like that), so I think that helps. In the car yesterday, I heard Nate laughing and looked back to see him pulling up and down on Lucy's sleeve/arm (his carseat and hers are right next to each other). She couldn't have cared less, and I was glad to see Nate at least looking at his sister. ;)

I remember feeling very scatterbrained for a while after Nate was born, and I'm feeling that way again this time but maybe not quite as bad. But if my posts make no sense, you know why!

Here are some pictures.

Nate visiting his sister in the hospital (obviously not interested in the baby)


Lucy today

Lucy's birth story--the long version

I woke up Tuesday morning at 4:00 to the baby giving a hard kick, and then I felt my water leak or break--I wasn't sure. I went into the bathroom and decided this was pretty similar to what had happened with Nate--about the same amount of fluid, maybe a bit more. With him, it ended up being a leak that didn't really spur labor, but I knew we should get to the hospital in the next few hours since even a leak meant we'd be having the baby. I didn't have any immediate contractions, and after about 30 minutes, I decided to get back in bed for a while (with towels underneath me) to try to rest a little bit, since this would probably be a long day. The contractions started pretty soon after that, coming about 7 minutes apart but mild enough that I could stay lying down and just breathe through them. When I got back up at 5:30, the contractions were really uncomfortable but still bearable, and they were coming a bit closer together. I went back into the bathroom and found that leaning on the sink and rocking forward and backward made the contractions less painful, and I did this for a while, realizing they were still getting closer together and a lot stronger--fast.

I woke Jon up at 6:00. He hopped in the shower and then heard me groan with the start of a contraction--the first time I'd made any noise. I have never seen him finish a shower faster. He was an adrenaline madman after that, getting dressed, getting Nate up and dressed (even toasting him a waffle), putting the last couple of items on my written list into Nate's packed bag, calling his dad, and packing the car, all while I labored in our room and packed my things (already set aside and/or written on a list) in between contractions, which were coming very fast now--about 3 minutes apart. Somewhere in this time, I called the hospital and let them know we were on our way. I called Jon's sister, Janel, too, since she'd be watching Nate. And I think I called Casey. I couldn't talk during contractions at this point.

We decided to drive straight to the hospital as opposed to Janel's house to drop Nate off; Jon's dad, Ray, was going to meet us at the hospital to get Nate. As we were getting in the car at about 6:45, I told Jon I was scared. Everything was happening so fast and the contractions had gotten so painful so quickly that I wasn't sure we were going to make it to the hospital in time for the epidural (if you are past a certain point--I think around 7 cm dilated--they can't give you the epidural). In my thinking, I had hours left, and if it was going to get worse than this, I couldn't do it. I had several bad contractions in the car while Jon sped the 7 miles to the hospital. We pulled up to the hospital door, and Ray walked up behind us. I stood up out of the car, and suddenly, I had to push! I can't explain the urge except to call it primal; my body was just under so much duress that the way to address it was push.

Ray ran inside the hospital and almost immediately came back out with a nurse and a wheelchair. Sitting in the chair took away the pushing urge somewhat. The nurse took me inside and up the elevator. As the doors opened onto the second floor, I saw an I-mean-business Jon bound up the last step of the stairwell to meet me holding all of our things (bag, cameras--he remembered it all). We pulled up to the nurse's station for me to check in, and I hollered my name at them and said, "I hope I made it in time for the epidural!" I think I was a bit delirious.

We made it into room 287, and the nurse gave me a gown and said she needed a urine sample. I don't think she understood the urgency of the situation. I went into the restroom and promptly had a terrible contraction, and I bent over the tub and made what I'm sure is the universal "I'm pushing" noise. The nurse ran in, yelling, "Don't push! Don't push!" She ushered me, clotheless (me, not her), to the hospital bed, which was surrounded by several other nurses and Jon also telling me not to push. There was no doctor in the room yet. A nurse checked me for about a half second and shouted, "She's complete, plus two!" (This means I was 10 cm dilated and the baby was really far down.) Someone put a gown over me (Jon now tells me he did) while nurse Jaime had me breathing lots of short, fast breaths to try to stop my body from pushing. "Where is Doctor O'Toole?" someone yelled. "I don't know!" "Where is Doctor Han?" "I don't know!" "Page any doctor, stat!" They really did say stat. I had to do the breathing through several contractions while waiting for a doctor, and this was the worst part of the labor. My body was taking control and telling me to do one thing, and I was trying to tell it no. I hated that nurse for not letting me push. I think Jon almost hyperventilated because he was doing the breathing with me. During this time, another nurse tried to fill in some of the paperwork, so she actually expected me to answer such questions as, "Who is the pediatrician? Were you Group B Strep positive or negative? What number baby is this?" I did answer her questions but probably not very nicely.

Finally, Dr. Han arrived. I think she might have had time to put on gloves (wink, wink). I got to push--hallelujah! The nurse had to remind me to hold my breath, because I was yelling out. I pushed for just over one minute (what a crazy feeling), and out came our baby! The doctor held the baby up, moved the cord out of the way, and someone (doctor? nurse? Jon? I don't know) said, "It's a girl!"

It's amazing how quickly I went from feeling so bad to feeling so amazingly good. I laid there while the doctor finished taking care of me (no stitches or anything necessary!) and tried to get over the shock of the last few minutes. I couldn't believe how quickly I had gone from very bearable contractions (4:30 a.m.) to oh-my-goodness-let's-get-to-the-hospital contractions (6:15 a.m.) to I-might-have-this-baby-in-the-car contractions (6:50 a.m.) to pushing (7:05 a.m.) to baby (7:12 a.m.)! They brought our little Lucy to me, and I held my precious daughter for the first time. :)

Going home

We're going home from the hospital today. We would have been ready to go home yesterday, but I guess it's standard to stay two nights, and we didn't mind the extra night. My mom stayed at the hospital with me, and Jon went home to rest in something other than a two-foot wide, rock-hard, plastic-covered pull-out chair. Lucy did very well and is eating great, and I got several hours of sleep (woo hoo).

Nate came by with Grammy yesterday to see his sister. He couldn't have cared less about that little baby (except when I held her, and even then he was easily distracted). It was nice to see my little boy; I missed him. (Sad side story: although he was fine on Sunday and Sunday night, Nate got really sick--throw-up sick--at his aunt Janel's house on Monday, and he was still under the weather yesterday. It was hard on Monday being in the hospital with Lucy knowing that Nate was feeling bad... I felt terrible for Janel too, who has her own two kids and now was cleaning up after Nate. Anyway, I think he's doing a bit better now.)

I'm interested to see how the transition to home goes. It's easy to sit and nurse for 30 undistracted minutes in the hospital every two or three hours, but we'll see how that happens in the real world!

P.S. I bought a custom diaper bag on eBay yesterday. It isn't the same one I pictured in the post below, because I found some other ones that include a name embroidered on the bag. Here's the one I got (but of course with my precious Lucy's name!):

Announcing...

Lucy Janel Varela

Born Tuesday, April 2, at 7:12 a.m.
6 pounds, 9 ounces
20 inches long



I'm posting from our hospital room, where we had quite a morning! I can't wait to relay the labor/birth story--it was exciting and ended perfectly with our sweet little girl.

I'm an eBay addict

How cute is this diaper bag? There are a bunch of handmade bags on eBay I could use as diaper bags. I've been browsing ones made with fabrics I like (this one has Amy Butler fabrics). I'm really tempted to bid on this one but I will have to wait to see if I have a girl!



Edit: I found some even cuter bags, too--ones I can have custom embroidered with the baby's name. Oh I can barely wait! I've been having some contractions tonight (Sunday) for a couple of hours, but they are pretty far apart and not very painful, so it's probably nothing.

God's hand

Most of what I post--in general and specifically about Nate and his development--is factual, practical, things I'm working through in my head. One of the main reasons for that is this blog is mainly for the benefit of family and friends who don't live close by, and they like to stay informed about what's going on with us. I don't do a lot of relating what's going on in our everyday lives to their spiritual implications. In general, I'm not that kind of thinker I guess. But I do definitely think about and see God's hand working in our circumstances, specifically the things we've been learning about Nate.

"O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether...

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well...
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them." (Psalm 139:1-4, 13-16)

God intimately understands every fleeting thought I have. He knows me fully. To me, that is comfort. I don't have to be able to explain how I'm feeling in words; He knows and cares. And he knows Nate fully, knows him and formed him just this way. Nate is fearfully and wonderfully made--he is marvelous. Nate has a grand purpose in life, one that God has already written out. I get excited thinking about the man of God I pray Nate one day will be.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). When I am in the Word and praying consistently, humbly asking the Holy Spirit to work through me, nothing in my life is too difficult. My view of our circumstances changes from "Poor me; how am I going to overcome this?" to a calmer "Thank you, God, for walking with me through this and giving me Your strength."

And God is stretching me. Becoming a mother has been one of the most rewarding and most difficult things that has happened to me, opening my eyes to my weaknesses and selfishness but also to my strengths and ability to love. Through Nate having autism, I know God is going to grow me in areas I still struggle: worrying too much about what others think, having too much pride in and placing too much importance on my children's accomplishments/intelligence/"impressiveness", being too impatient.

I am so thankful for our son. I think we are in a difficult stage in his development right now, especially as far as communication goes, but I also read about and see other kids and parents whose hardships are so much more profound. We really do have it easy. We have a foundation in God that allows us to see a much bigger picture. We have a son who is visibly attached to us, is generally easy to care for, and is fun to be with. Our family has a bright future!

No news

Baby is still hanging on tight with barely any contractions. OH! But I'm pretty positive we did settle on a boy name, so I'm not so worried about whether it's a boy or girl now.

Still here

I've been having some contractions, but nothing regular yet. As of my appointment yesterday, I am 3 cm dilated--yay for progress! C'mon baby, we want to meet you!

Book

On the recommendation of the doctors last week at Nate's appointment, I ordered a specific book on autism. I like it after just the first page of the introduction:

"There are few things in life scarier than having a child diagnosed with any kind of special need, and autism is one of the scariest disabilities, because the diagnosis tells you nothing about a child's prognosis. No one can honestly say to you, 'We know exactly what your child will be like when he's twenty.'

People will, however, feel free to comment on the diagnosis in every way, most of them unhelpful. You'll hear things like 'They're crazy, he's just a late talker,' [heard it], 'My cousin's brother's kid had autism, and they changed his diet and he was cured,' [heard it], and 'Oh, my god, are you going to put him in an institution?' [haven't heard it] You'll start reading articles and combing the Internet for helpful information, and you'll find that there are a lot of conflicting opinions out there--some people swear by certain approaches, others by completely different ones, and some even believe a kid with autism should just be left alone, since 'he'll be whatever he's going to be, and nothing you do will make any difference.'

Now, that's where they're wrong.... Everything you do will make a difference" (p. xiii).

The book is written by a physician and a parent of a child with autism and seems like it covers a lot of practical information, with chapters organized by symptom. They write, "We chose to focus on one symptom at a time for a very simple reason: every child with autism is different and needs a different intervention plan. This plan needs to be based on that specific child's needs and the symptoms being exhibited, not on some general idea of how a kid with autism behaves" (p. xv). I like this, because Nate seems to strongly exhibit some symptoms while barely having others.

Anyway, all this to say I'm encouraged and am still working through everything in my head. :)

Still pregnant

No baby or any signs of labor! Tomorrow I'll be 38 weeks. (Nate was born at 37 weeks 1 day.) I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable and think I'm ready to have this baby any time now. Plus I rrrreally want to know if it's a boy or a girl!

Thank you to many of you for your encouraging notes and e-mails you sent after I posted the last post. We are doing well!

The post

We took Nate on Wednesday for his appointment with the pediatric neurologist. She met with us and observed Nate for over an hour, all the while asking us questions about family history, Nate's behavior, things he does or doesn't do. A speech pathologist also observed and played with Nate, and I noticed her doing a lot of the same things the speech therapists are doing with him in therapy (getting eye contact, playing with bubbles and getting him to sign for more/interact, etc.). I was pleased with how thorough the doctors were and how they thought Nate was so cute. After her observations, the doctor left the room for a few minutes to put together the report, which she came back and shared with us. She explained a little bit about how the Childhood Autism Rating Scale (CARS) works and that Nate scored at 43.5

Nate's score places him in the "moderately autistic range." Jon and I were surprised at first by the word moderately--as opposed to mildly--but after reading through the written evaluation and thinking about the things Nate either always does or never does that fall within the descriptions of autism, we see why the diagnosis fell where it did.

Our overall reaction is that we are not generally surprised; we went into the appointment believing that Nate does have some degree of autism. We have felt that way for a while now (months), and so it wasn't scary hearing it put into words by a doctor. I know I've already been doing some "grieving" over the fact that my little boy is going to have a harder time in some areas than other kids do.

A lot of people seem really hung up on "the A word." Like they're afraid to say it. What's the big deal? It changes pretty much nothing. Nate is still the way he is, regardless of labels. He is still hilarious, cute, playful, energetic, rambunctious, smart, adorable, and fun to be around. And oh yeah, he has autism. But it doesn't define him.

However, because so many people get caught up with the word autism and the image it conjures in their heads, Jon and I think we'll err on the side of caution as far as telling people about Nate's diagnosis. Of course all of our family and close friends will know. But the nursery workers at MOPS? They don't need to know. The grocery store clerk who gives me a weird look because Nate never responds to her when she talks to him? She doesn't need to know. (And that is a whole different post, by the way, because I know Nate's behavior looks like rudeness to outsiders, when I know it isn't--and I care too much about what other people think of my parenting skills.) Everyone who knows Nate already already loves him and sees and understand his quirks. Anyone we meet for the first time will love him too, and his autism won't be something we bring up unless it's appropriate.

We're going to continue with the therapy Nate is getting through the state-run program, and now, with his diagnosis, we will probably also be able to add additional programs through our insurance. What's nice about that is there is more to choose from location-wise through insurance, so most anything we did would be very close to home.

If you don't know anything about autism, here is a quick paragraph I took from a website: "Autism is a developmental disability that typically involves delays and impairment in social skills, language, and behavior. Autism is a spectrum disorder, meaning that it affects people differently. Some children may have speech, whereas others may have little or no speech.... Left untreated, many autistic children will not develop effective social skills and may not learn to talk or behave appropriately.... The good news is that there are a wide variety of treatment options which can be very helpful."

So, that's my disjointed post about the appointment. It was good, we're good, and we're moving forward.

No baby yet

I didn't realize I had gone so many days without a post!

I had an OB appointment on Monday, and everything looks great with the baby. I've been having a few mild contractions here and there over the past weeks, but I'm only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, so the baby's still pretty snug. I, on the other hand, am less and less comfortable. It's just hard getting around with 35 extra pounds hanging off my front (and sides and legs and everywhere else)!

aaaaaaaaaaa

(above from Nate)

We had Nate's appointment with the pediatric neurologist today. It was good. I'm definitely still processing all the information, so I'll probably post about it in a few days.

As requested

Taken today (and honestly, I'm not trying to exclude my face on purpose. It's just the way the camera ends up sitting best on the couch to take the picture):



And Nate having lots of fun with the hose in the back yard today:

Outside fun

I'm loving the extra daylight after dinner! So is Nate.



Running with eyes closed:

Update

This week has been another good week at therapy (excluding Monday, when Nate cried and cried for most of the hour and a half. He actually did better when I left for the last 20 minutes, so I'm not going to go in with him anymore I think). It's still tiring, and Nate still would choose not to go if he had the choice, but it's getting better. Next week starts our new schedule! Tuesday morning is two hours of ABA at our house; Wednesday and Thursday are 9:30-11:00 at the center. I'm interested to see how Nate does with so many days (Friday-Monday) in between therapy sessions, because I think one reason Mondays have been hard for him is that he hasn't been in therapy since the previous Thursday...

Baby #2 update
I hit 36 weeks earlier this week. I feel like there is no possible way my body could expand for four more weeks. Skin isn't supposed to be able to stretch like that! I think Jon and I might have come up with two possible boy names we like last night, so that gives me a bit more peace of mind if this is a boy. Overall, though, I still am leaning slightly toward guessing it's a girl.

Preparation progress
Clean Nate’s closet--both sides
Clean my closet (DONE)
Goodwill clothes (DONE)
Find boppy (DONE)
Get out and set up:
-bassinet (DONE)
-car seat (mostly done)
-neutral newborn clothes (DONE)
Pack hospital bag
Pack overnight bag for Nate (to last 2 days)
Make and freeze some meals to have for dinners after baby comes
To buy:
Plastic drawers for clothes (DONE)
Diapers (DONE)
Nursing things
Wash cloths?

Here is Nate's contribution to today's post: ssszzzzcccccccc x

He says "Mama" with flair

Video fun

Here is Nate one year ago. I forgot how light his hair used to be... and it got even lighter over the summer! Boy was he cute.

I'm not ready to call it a turning point, but...

Nate has done so much better in therapy this week. Yesterday, he didn't cry at all, especially since he was with the therapist he has seen the most so far and recognizes. She figured out that he loves playing a computer program she has, so she starts out each session with that. With the way her office/room is set up, I can sit in the next room and listen while her door is open, and Nate doesn't know I'm there. It's nice to hear what he's doing but not be in the way. Then today, Nate cried when the therapist (someone different) took him, but it was only for a minute, and I didn't hear him cry for the rest of the hour and a half, including when they transitioned him to a different therapist/room after the first half hour (the transitions have been hard for him).

I think he's starting to "get" how this place works. I'm noticing, too, that what upsets him besides being away from me is that, in the therapy, he is being directed. Even though he gets to play with toys and do things he normally likes, he is being shown/told when, where, and how to play with each toy, and when it's "all done" time with something specific, he has to give it back and move on to the next thing even if he doesn't want to. He is very self-directed, as a therapist and I were talking about yesterday.

I think his body is adjusting to the changes, too. He took a two-hour (or nearly two-hour) nap Tuesday, Wednesday, and today. That is phenomenal for him. I'm not calling it a sure change yet--he may take a 30-minuter tomorrow--but it has made for a wonderful week with my non-whiny boy back.

Thank God for small improvements!

:)

Nate did pretty well in his therapy today (very minimal crying) and slept for nearly 2 hours after we got home! I call that a successful day. ;)

Why?

Why, on the days when Nate probably needs a nap the most (and the days when I most need a break too), does he sleep for a stinking half hour? :(

Although he's still under the weather (it's just a cold), I'm planning on taking him to therapy this afternoon. We'll see how it goes.

Developing actor?

A 22 month old can't fake a fever to get out of going to therapy, can he?

Nate seemed particularly fussy most of the day yesterday after therapy, and he started feeling really hot in the evening. I ended up taking him home from AWANA, giving him a tepid bath, and loading him up on Tylenol before bed (temp was at 101.7). He slept fine but woke up early, hot and sad. I gave him some Tylenol, called to cancel his therapy, and he was acting fine by breakfast. Of course I'm kidding about him faking the fever, and I know it's the medicine and bit of breakfast he ate that helped him feel better, but I do hope this isn't some major sickness coming on. :(

Dangerous habit

I have yet to capture it properly on camera, but Nate is still enjoying hiding behind too-small objects (his cup, for instance--yes, he'll hold it in front of his face and think he's hiding). He is also finding it fun to walk around with his eyes closed:

Baby update

I'm feeling pretty good and getting nice and big! This baby is strong and likes to keep me from taking a nap by kicking and punching up a storm if I lie down. That's the baby news right now. At 34 weeks, I'm definitely at the waddling stage. Nate was born at 37 weeks, but I'm hoping to make it farther than that this time, mostly because I can't fathom having another baby already three weeks from now. Here's what my to-do list looks like:

Clean Nate’s closet--both sides
Clean my closet (partially done. This is where I will keep some of the new baby's clothes until our housing situation is changed.)
Goodwill clothes (DONE)
Find boppy
Get out and set up:
-bassinet (need sheets?)
-car seat (adjust straps)
-neutral newborn clothes (wash)
Pack hospital bag
-Travel-size toiletries
-One boy & one girl outfit
-Flute phone numbers (input into phone?)
Pack overnight bag for Nate (to last 2 days)
Make and freeze some meals to have for dinners after baby comes

To buy:
Plastic drawers for clothes (DONE. Eventually, Nate will get the dresser Jon uses now, and Baby will get Nate's dresser. My dad is going to build a new one for Jon and me!--no hurry, though.)
Diapers
Nursing things
Wash cloths?

Rejoice!

I spoke several times with the scheduling person at the therapy center today, and, beginning the week of March 20, Nate will have two hours of in-home therapy on Tuesdays, and I will just have to take him to the center on Wednesdays and Thursdays (hour and a half each time). That is so much better! We just have to hold on for another month. Praise God.

Hard day

Today was one of those hard mothering days where I felt like I must be doing everything wrong. I took Nate to therapy and listened from the next room as he cried for a majority of the hour and a half. He seems to be liking the therapy less and less, not more and more. We got home and he took a characteristically short nap, which, on days like this, makes me feel more stressed knowing he didn't sleep enough and I didn't get enough of a break. He acted fussy and clingy and whiny for most of the rest of the day. I'm sure it's when he acts like that that he needs even more of my love and reassurance and patience, but sometimes I feel like I just don't have what it takes.

Can't see me

Nate has just started doing what I think is one of the cutest things little kids do: hiding behind something small thinking no one can see him. I was chasing him in the back yard this morning, and he got behind a post about three inches wide and stood still, thinking I couldn't see him. Later, he stood out in the open and covered his eyes with the backs of his hands, waiting for me to "find" him. :)

On a walk

This picture makes me laugh because it looks like he's saying, "You wanna piece of me?"



Here's how our morning walks usually go (though today is the first weekday in nearly two weeks we've gone on a walk--the therapy has really cut into our walking time):

On a completely different note...

Jon and I usually don't make a big deal out of Valentine's Day, so I was very surprised on Wednesday when I got in the car to drive Nate to therapy to see a note on the dashboard telling me to look in the center console. That's where I found my new iPod Nano! I've never had an iPod before, but our new car has a hookup in the dash for one, and with all the extra driving I'm now doing for Nate's therapy, Jon thought it would be a good gift... and he was right! I love it. I spent several hours yesterday (nap time and after bed time) putting songs on it. Yay!

Then, on Wednesday night, Ray and Colleen came over to watch Nate while Jon and I went to the Clippers game. What I didn't know is that Neil and Casey were coming too, and we all went out to a really nice dinner first. It was relaxing, fun, and almost perfect! (It would have been perfect if the Clippers had won, but we fell apart in the fourth quarter.) What a great Valentine's. :)

Adventures in the park

I took Nate to the park yesterday afternoon after running a few errands. For most of the time, there weren't any other kids there, which I like since Nate is often one of the youngest and sometimes can get accidentally pushed around (older kids forget how wobbly and unsteady toddlers might be on the play structures). The only other child there ended up being a little girl who was maybe 2 and a half--a good head taller than Nate. Nate mostly played on his own but tried to instigate play with her a couple of times, walking up to her and then turning and running, trying to get her to chase him (she didn't). (On another note, this is definitely progress for him as far as social interaction goes.) He also followed her one time to one of the play structures, but she kept yelling, "Stop!" and "No!" at him, so I was glad when he decided to go off on his own again. (I wasn't going to tell him to go somewhere else; he wasn't doing anything wrong, so, if anything, the other mother should have told her kid to stop complaining 'cause the baby wasn't doing anything to her.) Nate and the girl ended up at the same slide structure later. While she was going up the steps, she half kicked, half nudged Nate with her shoe to make him go away (the mother saw this, but was on the phone so didn't say anything). He took a step back and waited for her to go up. After she was up the three or four steps, he started to go up. She thought for a second, turned back around, came down the steps, and kicked Nate hard in the face. It surprised and hurt him, and he started crying strongly. The mother got off the phone, and said, "Olivia, that wasn't nice! Please say you're sorry! That was not nice."

Excuse me? Please say you're sorry? That's how you're going to address your child maliciously kicking a much younger child in the face? I was seething. I picked Nate up and held him there long enough for the kid to laugh out an I'm sorry, and I walked away. My instincts were telling me to yell at this mom (I was angrier at her than at the girl, who obviously doesn't receive much discipline). If the mom doesn't believe in spanking, fine, then take the child off the slide, sit her on a bench, and give her a time out...just do something.

This situation is not unique--I'm sure every mom witnesses her child being hurt by another, especially at playgrounds, but it still makes me mad. And I felt so bad for my little Nate, who just wanted to play and in this instance was really just minding his own business, and here came a little brat who was so mean to him.

Nate is fine, by the way. :)

This week

Well, we're into week two of therapy, and though I'm still discouraged about the scheduling of it, I'm happy about how it's going. It is still new and maybe a bit overwhelming for Nate--he fell asleep in the car on the way home today, which is very unusual for him--but in another two or three weeks, he'll have the hang of it. He saw an occupational therapist yesterday, who gave me a couple of stretching exercises/manipulations to do on Nate's face each day to help develop his "tone" and gums, since his upper lip apparently is a bit overly attached to his gums/teeth. Today he saw a physical therapist for an evaluation since he hasn't been PT-evaluated at this center before. I didn't go in with them for that part, so I'm not sure what they did. He also saw the speech therapist today, who said she worked with him on things like chewing on a specific toy thingy and trying to blow into a recorder (hasn't done that yet). She gave me a handout on different mouth exercises to do with him (sucking through a tiny straw, blowing into an instrument, etc.).

Small breakthrough?

I listened to how the therapists speak to the kids at the center this week and tried to take some of that knowledge home with me. Twice today, Nate followed instruction that he has never followed before--bringing an object to me. Could it be because I said it in a new way? "Nate: teddy bear give Mama" and "Nate: keys give Mama" worked both times. Whenever I have said before, "Nate: give the keys to Mama. Bring Mama the keys. Take the keys here to Mama," I've been met by a blank stare. I thought he was being obstinate, but maybe, just maybe, he really didn't understand. I know there's still plenty of belligerence in that little boy of mine, but I was so pleased today to see him wanting to cooperate when he understood what it was I wanted.

From one to two

We are getting pretty close to being a family of four! My due date is two months from tomorrow.

I am nervous about having two. Although I feel like taking care of Nate at the beginning came relatively naturally to me (especially because he was an easy-going infant), I'm anxious about doing all of that and having a toddler at the same time. The sleep deprivation at night was OK with Nate, because then I could sleep during the day when he napped. Nursing was generally relaxing and easy, because it meant sitting down and being quiet with no distractions. Sticking to a schedule/routine was natural and effortless, because the only child who mattered was Nate, and he thrived on the schedule I put him on. Not so this time. Sleeping during the day won't be an option most of the time. I'm hopeful that nursing won't be a stressful time, that Nate won't be too jealous, that this baby will eat quickly (some take 45 minutes each time, some 10!). As far as routine goes, I really like and need structure, but I know I'll learn to be more flexible too (already have a little bit).

I guess I'm mostly nervous about having two because I now know how much effort, energy, and selflessness go into having just one. And now I'm about to start over again! And of course I ask the question I've heard so many parents ask: "How can I love another child as much as I love my first?" It's true. Nate is my pumpkin, my sweet boy, my laughing partner... and I don't even know the name of this next baby. At this point, I think more about how the next child will affect Nate, and not how much I'm sure we're going to love him/her and how much joy he/she will bring to our family. I'm just nervous!

So far

After three days of going to Nate's therapy, I can tell it's going to be a big adjustment! Nate and I both were tired this morning (proof of this occurred when he kept crying for no real reason), and driving home I couldn't believe I have to go back again tomorrow. It takes about a half hour to get there (a long time by So-Cal standards). The center does have therapists who do in-home therapy, and I have requested that for us, so I'm hopeful that some of the therapy can be done at our house so that I only have to drive there, say, two days a week instead of four. Logistically, it will be hard for them to schedule in-home therapy because we live so far away, but I'm praying it'll still happen.

As far as the actual therapy goes, I am pleased. I like the therapists and am excited to see the progress I know Nate will make. It will take a few weeks for Nate to get used to the therapists and the routine, but I think he will thrive. As far as I can tell, most of the parents drop their kids off or wait in the waiting room for them while the kids have their therapy, so I will probably eventually do that for at least the majority of his therapy sessions (especially after the baby is born). For this first week, though, I plan on going in with Nate and observing so that 1) he will be comfortable and 2) I can see what I can be doing at home to foster his development. (In the future, I may go observe at least part of his therapy each week so I can be involved. There is a scheduled half-hour parent meeting each week with one of the head therapists, and she fills me in on all they're doing and answers any questions I have, but I may still observe for extra benefit.) So far, the therapists are just seeing where Nate is and not doing much in-depth work from what I can tell, but they will work on getting him to communicate what he wants (more, all done, help me with this toy, I want something to eat, etc.) without prompting from an adult, developing appropriate play with toys (not lining things up, for example), imitating, eye contact--when name is called and also spontaneously for approval/interaction, socializing, identifying body parts, imitating animal noises, learning to sort by shape and size, eating more foods, self-feeding, and more.

Therapy

Nate's therapy starts today. The center called me last week to give me the schedule, and I was and am kind of disheartened by it, because they're having us come in four days per week (Monday-Thursday). It wouldn't be so bad if it were closer, but since the center is in Huntington Beach, going for just an hour of therapy will turn into a several-hour venture--four times per week. I told the lady on the phone that I was under the impression that three of the five hours of therapy were going to be at our house, and she didn't know that (there has been some miscommunication instigated, I believe, by the case worker at the state program). The lady at the center has always seemed very accommodating and is going to see if we can do the three hours of ABA at our house (they have one therapist who would be able to come that far). If that does work out, then I'd only have to take Nate to Huntington two days a week. As it is now, here's the schedule:

Mondays 3:00-4:00
Tuesdays 9:30-11:00
Wednesdays 10:00-11:00
Thursdays 9:30-11:00

That's a lot for a 21 month old. Oh, and it will be nearly impossible in April-May-June as I'll have Nate and the new baby. What I'm hoping, at least, is that Nate enjoys the therapy and thinks of it as play time; it won't be such a burden to take him if he thinks it's fun.

Quick

I'm feeling much better today... My senses of smell and taste are pretty much back, and I can hear out of one ear at least (my ears never "popped" when the plane descended on Monday night; now one ear is fine and one basically feels deaf. It's incredibly annoying). I just wanted to write a quick update and say I'll write soon about Nate's therapy--I got a call with his new schedule.

Home

I don't know how I ended up with such a great little traveler, but Nate did great again yesterday for our flights home. I was pretty miserable not being able to breathe (I caught Nate's sickness with a vengeance over the last 3 or 4 days), but I'd much rather be the one who is sick (not Nate). I'm feeling pretty terrible again today, but I'm hopeful that tomorrow will be better.

Here is Nate on a walk with Grandpa:


And playing with Mimi:


I'm 30 weeks along today! That means the baby is close to 3 pounds and over 15 inches along. He/she is still a mover and shaker, especially when I sit down or lie down. I feel huge but know I'll still get much bigger from here...

:)

Nate has made a nice recovery and was acting much more himself yesterday and today. Even better, he slept through the night last night and the night before, which makes for a much happier Mama. We're having a good time just hanging out with the family and taking it easy. I'm looking forward to being home with my husband tomorrow, though!

VA

Nate was an angel for our travel day yesterday. He was fascinated getting to see so many airplanes up close (for months, he looks for and points out every plane we see in the sky at home). We had a row of 3 seats to ourselves for the OC-Atlanta flight, so we spread out and Nate watched a few videos, ate some snacks, etc. He even clutched his blanket, sucked his pacifier, and sat still for a good half hour (he should have been napping, but sitting still and silent is nearly as good). The Atlanta-Lynchburg flight went quickly, and now we're here! Nate is definitely still sick, though. He was up several times last night and is back to being kind of cranky/fussy/sad today, with what seems like a slight fever. That just means to me that God answered the prayers of everyone who prayed that the travel day would go smoothly yesterday!

Still going

Nate is worse, not better, but we're still going to VA tomorrow. He's running a fever and has the worst cough he's ever had, but I really want to visit my family and know my mom will help me take care of Nate, sick or well. The major downside is the day of travel (including a layover). Alone. With a sick 20 month old. I'm bringing our portable DVD player (an absolute lifesaver without which I would not travel) and lots of videos, some books, snacks, and prayers. :) We'll be back Monday night.

Weekend

We had a wonderful time on the retreat. It was a low-key retreat without much planned; we all just played games, went on a nice walk, some went snowboarding (not me), ate out twice, had some times of worship, some of us girls scrapbooked, etc. The cabin we stayed in was REALLY nice (it belongs to one of the participants' uncle). It has 6 bedrooms, 4.5 baths; Jon and I had our own room and own bathroom. Two couples did have to share a room, but that's it. It was relaxing, fun, and beautiful!

We came home to a happy but sick son. :( Nate has a fever, cough, and stuffy nose. He is still acting OK, though, so it's good to know he isn't miserable. I pray that he feels much better by Thursday, though, because he and I are going to Virginia for a last-minute trip! I'm very excited.

Banana

Retreat

Jon and I are going on a marriage retreat this weekend to Big Bear with 6 or 7 other couples from church. I've really been looking forward to it! Nate will be staying at Ray and Colleen's house. This is the second time we will have left Nate with grandparents for more than a quick overnight (the retreat is 2 nights). Nate likes it so much at Ray and Colleen's house that he most likely won't notice we're gone. It's nice not to have to worry at all.

I'm looking forward to some time with friends and with my husband... without school! Since Jon started University of Phoenix a few months ago, he has been so busy with it. I am so proud of him for doing so well--working a more-than-full-time job, taking care of a wife and son, and getting great grades in full-time college classes! But doing all of that means that he gets home from work every day, eats dinner with me, and goes right to work on school work. He's usually still working when I go to bed. Weekends aren't much better, since his classes have work due usually on Fridays and Sundays. Anyway, he's trying to have his work done for the weekend so we can have a true retreat. I can hardly wait!

Better

Today was the first day in nearly a week that Nate slept until later than 6:00 a.m. Who knew I would ever rejoice to get to "sleep in" until 7:00?

Night before last, I had a vivid dream that I had our baby, and it was a boy--but we still hadn't picked out even one boy name we liked, so the baby went nameless for a few days. In the dream, I ended up calling him Eli, but I think that's because my friend Ricci's 4-month-old son is named Eli (Elijah).

Audiology appointment

I'm no longer sure Nate is sick. I think he just might be having some monster-strength teething. He woke up a little after 4:00 today and was up for good at 5:00 (in a good mood at least). What happened to last week, when he slept in until 8:00 every day?

Nate and I got back from his audiology appointment a few minutes ago. It went well, and he has normal hearing. Nate sat in my lap in a chair in a small room with a window (how's that for 4 prepositional phrases in a row?). Anyone who knows Nate knows that keeping him in a sitting position, especially in my lap, is a feat in and of itself! I lured him with Honey Nut Cheerios. Anyway, in the room there are two speakers, one on the left and one on the right. The doctor turned on various noises (quiet static, different pitches of a whistling noise, etc.) in one speaker or the other and observed to see if Nate would look toward them. If he did, a toy just below the speaker would light up and play. The doctor also spoke through a microphone a few times in the left or right speaker. Nate seemed to respond to most all the cues if he wasn't trying to get out of my lap. He did well. So no surprises today!

Changing plans

Nate woke up this morning with a cold. Bleh! If he's sick, it changes most of this week's plans--at least any plans that involve someone else watching Nate. I was going to go in for my glucose test (a pregnancy screening to see if I have gestational diabetes) on Wednesday and have my neighbor watch Nate, but she has a 9-month-old daughter. I have really been looking forward to getting my hair cut on Thursday, and Casey is supposed to watch Nate, but she has 4-month-old Bennett. I just remember not wanting to watch someone else's sick child when Nate was really little (heck, I still feel that way now). And unless Jon can get home early on Wednesday, I will probably have to stay home from AWANA because I shouldn't put Nate in the nursery. Nate has his audiology appointment tomorrow, which I will still take him to. I hate when Nate is sick!

Progress

Jon and I have really been encouraged in the past 6 weeks or so with Nate's development. It's like having the evaluation at the end of November spurred something in him! He has become much more interactive with others, especially other children; he started doing the sign for "more"; he learned all 9 of the shapes in a puzzle he got for Christmas (I ask, "Where is the [trapezoid, circle, triangle, pentagon, etc.]?" and he picks up the correct shape); he points to objects in books when asked where they are; he now pays attention much more often when his name is called; he seems to understand even more of what I say to him. It is a bit of a relief. Several people who know what they're talking about (educators, etc.) have also known that the word "autism" has floated around in reference to Nate, but they have commented to me that he does not fit the picture of the other kids they've seen with autism, even high functioning autism. That is promising. We still aren't sure if we'll take him to the pediatric neurologist, but at this point I'm leaning toward no.

Promised pics

Here is Nate in his new car (and the first picture has the back/side of our house in the background). :)

Car

Jon did get a car on Saturday! It's our first car purchase together, since we have had the Sentra and Tiburon since before we got married. Jon traded in the Tiburon, so now he'll drive the Sentra and I'll drive our new (well, new to us) 2006 Dodge Durango. It only had 12,000 miles on it. I'm super excited!--especially now that we don't have to worry about fitting car seats and passengers into our vehicle. :)

Update

Jon is in Buena Park at this moment possibly buying a car. Our Sentra has been great 'til now, but the only way it will fit the new baby's car seat and Nate's car seat is if the passenger seat is pushed up all the way, leaving essentially no leg room (I'd have to sit Indian style somehow). So Scott is with Jon right now as an impartial voice of reason and because Scott is a great haggler.

I've been searching for different fabrics to use for crib bedding if this baby is a girl. I want to do green and pink and have found some really cute ones. I'll choose between the first two paisleys (either the simpler just pink and green one or the more elaborate one) and try to find coordinating fabrics like the ones below those.















Nate has an appointment with an audiologist next week (1/9) for a hearing screening. Jon and I are both sure he hears just fine, but this is a "rule it out first" precaution I guess. My mom and grandfather have genetic hearing loss, so it is of course a possibility. The referral for the pediatric neurologist has also been approved, so now it's a matter of deciding whether we want to take Nate. The pediatrician told me that every child he refers to the ped neurologist does get diagnosed with autism--it's like every child has some sort of symptom that could be assessed that way. So he said that, if we do take Nate, we should take the diagnosis with a grain of salt. The reason we would still take him is that, with a diagnosis, Nate is ensured the highest quality therapy (at no cost to us). So we'll see.

Signing

I have signed to Nate since he was about 8 months old. I say I sign to him because he has never done any signs in return. I got discouraged with the whole signing thing after 6+ months of him not getting it, so I mostly stopped except for every once in a while when I'd try it for a day or two. He finally got it on Saturday, though! He realized that, when he does the sign for "more," he gets more food without having to make a fuss. He doesn't do the sign exactly right, but hey, I know what he means!



I should mention, too, that Nate has never clapped before!

Merry Christmas!

Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:
“Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

Luke 2:8-14

LE

Our friends Neil and Casey came over last night (with their 3-month-old, Bennett) to have dinner and exchange gifts. They gave Nate a Little Einsteins (LE) book, and I just know he is going to love it. I don't have any LE paraphernalia at the house, though I have browsed the children's book club I joined to see if they had any LE books, but they don't. Nate still watches LE every morning and often one in the late afternoon while I make/start dinner. I haven't showed him the book yet because I'm waiting for Jon to get home from playing basketball. I figure I get to see Nate do a million cute things every week while Jon is at work, so if I can save something and let Jon do it with Nate, then I will.

News buff

Nate is fascinated by the ticker at the bottom of the news channel. I don't know what he's doing here, but he does it nearly every time it's on.



P.S. There was obviously not a lot to report on.

Labels and new look

I've been having fun today applying labels to lots of my posts. Blogger finally caught up with everyone else and has a new version that allows this. My labels so far are Baby #2, Cute things Nate does, Deep thoughts with Katie Varela, Editing, Flute, Jon and me, Nate's development, Parenting, Pictures, Pregnant with Nate, Trips/holidays/events, and Work.

Funny, but this post doesn't fit into any of those categories.

And you'll notice the change in look, I'm sure. I'm still messing around with it and will make some more changes I think.

Christmas thanks

Christmas card drawn by my 7-year-old student (whose 9-year-old sister takes lessons too):

R2

We went to an annual ornament exchange last night and came home with some cool ornaments, one of which is a little R2D2. We sometimes call Nate our little R2 because of the assortment of funny sounds/beeps he makes. I'm putting Nate's name on it and am hanging it on the tree!

3-footer in front of the 4-footer

Treeless

Is it terrible that we don't yet have a tree? Although I love having one and decorating it, I'm really not looking forward to what it means to have Nate and a Christmas tree in the same house. Even if he doesn't pull it over on himself, we'll still have to hang ornaments waist high or higher. Maybe we'll just buy a three-footer and put it on top of the table in the corner. I wouldn't have a place to put presents (they're all wrapped and stacked in Nate's closet), but that might still be the best solution.

Nate's evaluation

A couple of weeks ago, at the recommendation of Nate's doctor, we took Nate in for occupational therapy and speech evaluations. We got the full written evaluation in the mail over the weekend. I wasn't particularly surprised by any of the results, and I was pleased with how thorough and observant the evaluators were. He has a greater than 50% delay in speech/language development (both receptive and expressive), a 47% delay in cognition, and a 47% delay in social/emotional development (the name of this one surprised me, as Nate is happy and doesn't seem to have emotional "problems," but reading the description explained it, since it relates to his not paying attention when his name is called, not shaking his head no, not imitating facial expressions, and not bringing a toy to share with a caregiver). They evaluated other areas, but these are the ones with the greatest delays.

They recommended an hour of occupational therapy per week, an hour of speech therapy per week, and three hours of ABA per week. I had to look up what ABA was, and I found some links like this. Although it talks about autism, Nate has not been diagnosed with it (I'm not ignorant or blind, though, and I realize there's a chance this diagnosis could still happen). The "social emotional/ABA play-based goals" the evaluators listed for Nate are that he will "imitate clapping at appropriate times ... imitate facial expressions ... stop playing and turn to look when his name is called ... bring a toy to therapist/adult/parents to share ... [and] follow one-step commands in play such as put in, put on, put away, etc."

I feel a little overwhelmed with the amount of therapy they are recommending... five hours per week? We were only doing one hour before with the physical therapy. I'm interested to see how they want to break that up (five days per week? Two or three days per week with several hours at once?). I guess sometimes I just feel busy enough already. (Ask me in four months when our next baby is born, and I'm sure I'll say I didn't know what busy was.) Though the number of hours is a little overwhelming, I'm still not overwhelmed by the outlook for Nate. Nothing we read in the evaluation changes who our son is. Nothing changes how we love him. He is still a happy, sweet, funny, good-natured boy who has a family that loves him. We would do anything for him, so if it is good for him to have some therapy several hours a week, then so be it.

My son

I just walked into the living room to find Nate watching Little Einsteins like this:





Oh child...

Cute

Nate loves to be outside. I just suited him up with a sweatshirt and let him go in the back (it's too chilly for my California blood). He is over by one of our plants picking up the dead leaves that have fallen on the ground and trying to put them back on the plant. Precious!

21 weeks

A few people have asked to see a "belly picture" like the ones we took when I was pregnant with Nate. Here is my best attempt at one today by myself. I didn't purposely exclude my face, but hey, oh well. I'm definitely showing now.

Getting in the spirit

I decorated for Christmas this past Saturday. I love getting out the same decorations each year and adding a few new things too. Each Christmas that we've been married, I've decorated an ornament and included the year on it. This year makes five!


One of my favorite things to do is look through and save the Christmas cards we receive (mostly the ones with pictures). All the new ones get put into the basket too.


I also like putting out the items that belonged to my mom that she gave me; I remember many of them from my childhood. I especially like this little nativity scene, which didn't photograph well but is one of my favorites:


We'll get the tree next weekend or the weekend after. I have half a box of ornaments, ribbon, and lights for it.

Merry Christmas!

Thankful

2004
"...my salvation; my husband, his leadership in our home, his work ethic, his love for me, his gentleness; my husband's job; the miraculous little life growing inside me; the abundance of food, shelter, clothing, and every necessity God has provided for us; Scott and Kim and the other close friends God has blessed us with; [and] our families."

2005
"...God's grace and mercy in loving me and sending His Son to die for me; my understanding, funny, handsome, hardworking husband; my precious, hilarious, growing, lovable, beautiful son; my friends, especially Casey; and the provision God has made for us, especially that I can stay home to be with Nate."

2006
I am thankful for being able to grow up in a loving family with parents who are still together and that my husband grew up that way too; a God who knows my every need and who has already satisfied my deepest need to know Him; my perfect match of a husband who still doesn't mind killing bugs for me (and even gets out the flashlight to find them); my handful of a precious son (and his brother or sister too); our church; our friends... and for times like this:

Trouble

My mom called me laughing about this picture when she saw it on Snapfish. She said she recognizes this look from when I was a child... :) Nate was getting in trouble because he kept pushing the chair in a way that was going to make it fall over. Notice how he is avoiding eye contact.

Little boy heaven

This morning I took Nate to an indoor play area with slides, ramps, a bounce house, a ball room, and more--basically, a bigger, more padded, and much cleaner version of a McDonald's Playplace. He loved the ball room and spent a good hour in there; he also discovered the hanging punching-bag-type things, and he had fun purposely running into them. Although this was our first time going, I knew well enough not to go on a weekend or rainy day, because it would be really crowded. It was perfect today--just a couple of other families there. So Nate and I even got some time just the two of us in the bounce house, and he loved it. (He doesn't jump yet, but he loved walking around in there and trying to keep his balance.) We were there for about two hours, and it was definitely worth the $4 admission. Now he's taking a nap!

Yay

Nate was acting MUCH more himself today! We played and giggled and ate good meals and had a much better day--I had my boy back. :)

Random things

I am still waiting to see if Nate is the same today as he has been for the past week. So far, the day has seemed better. I just wish I knew what was wrong with him so I could fix it!

Yesterday, I watched my next door neighbor's daughter for her and took a picture of one of Nate's favorite things to do as of late: play with others' hair. I can tell when he's going to do it because he gets this cute look in his eye and does this high-pitched squeal/laugh/singing sort of thing. He doesn't pull the hair; he just moves his hands back and forth like he's washing it. He does it to me all the time and sometimes it actually feels good! Lately, the nursery workers at church have said that he goes around to each child in the nursery and does it to them.



Last night Jon took me out to dinner to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for my birthday. We had such a wonderful time and ate some really good food. Boy do I love my husband. And he got me a ring! I've always loved rings and am more likely to wear them than other pieces of jewelry (don't know why--maybe because I like my hands???). It's a white gold ring with a blue topaz (topaz is November's birth stone) and diamonds. It's a few sizes too big, but Jon knew it would be and is going to get it sized this week. He did a great job!

Who?

I got a box from Amazon.com today with two books inside, and I am so excited to read them! The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time has been on my need-to-buy-and-read-this list for a long time. The thing is that I don't know who sent these! It is my birthday this week, and I have a very thoughtful friend who usually does things like this, so I think they might be from her, but I don't know! The box had no invoice slip or anything in it. Who wants to 'fess up? :)

Something's up

Something has been up with Nate for the past week. He just isn't acting himself... He's super fussy, unamused by activities he usually loves (e.g., going outside), not eating very much at lunch or dinner, taking very short naps (though that isn't very unusual), and generally just a big crank. He hasn't necessarily seemed sick except for one episode early last week, so I don't know what it is (more teeth coming in? He's never acted this bad about that before). Although I feel bad for him if something is wrong, it's just feeling more and more overwhelming for me. Son, I need just a little break!

In happier Nate news, he did have his 18-month appointment last week and is doing well. He weighs 25 pounds 8 ounces (50th percentile), is 33 inches tall (75th percentile)--or, as I like to say, he's 2 foot 9--and still has a big ol' head (90th percentile).

Little Injun

"Trust"

Did you ever play the game "Trust" in elementary school or junior high? One person stands up with planted feet and purposely falls straight back without bending his/her knees, trusting that the person behind him/her will catch him/her. Well, sometimes when Nate is supposed to be napping but is standing in his crib instead, I go in to tell him to lie down. Now that he knows the routine, I have to make sure to get over to the crib quickly, because he knows to lie down. His way of lying down is just like "Trust": he plants his feet and falls straight back, regardless of what might be in his way (crib slats, etc.). I'm always there to catch him and help him lie down gently. It cracks me up!

My husband

I knew it already, but I'm realizing even more what a blessing my husband is. Lately, through random conversations, I have been hearing about what other husbands/dads are like around the house with the family. Some believe their only "job" is making money for the family, and any other responsibility falls on the wife. My husband is definitely not like this. He works hard to provide for our family, spends many hours each week doing school work (did I tell you? He started University of Phoenix a few months ago to get his BA), takes care of our cars, mows the lawn--you know, all the "man" stuff. Then he also plays with Nate, often gives him his bath, always puts him to bed, kills every bug or spider I ask him to, and always gets up during the night if Nate needs one of us. The thing that makes this so much of a blessing is that he does it naturally, without thinking he's doing anyone a favor. He really has a servant's heart, and I am so thankful for him.

10/30

I've been feeling the baby move quite a bit for the past few days! I feel it sometimes when I lie down, but usually when I'm sitting straight up in a chair. Feeling the baby move was one of my favorite things about being pregnant the first time, and it's the same now!

Nate went home with Grammy and Grampy from church yesterday, and then they took him to Disneyland for the rest of the day (they said he liked looking at the lights and sat back and observed on the couple of rides they took him on). He slept over at their house last night while Jon and I went with two friends to a Clippers season ticket holder appreciation night at Universal Studios. The event wasn't anything great (especially since Jon got carsick on the way up and then got really sick after going on a simulated motion ride), but it was just nice to get out and be together, and then to come home and sleep soundly without listening to the baby monitor!

I picked Nate up this morning. He's down for a nap right now, but I'm looking forward to playing with him after he wakes up--I missed him yesterday!

Video

Here's a new video I just uploaded:



And Nate in the back yard:

My energy returns?

Today is the first day I've felt like "getting something done" while Nate naps. I mopped! I did dishes! It's either that second trimester energy finally kicking in, or it's the half a can of regular Coke (my first this pregnancy other than a few sips here and there) I drank earlier.

I'm exactly 4 months along today. Oh, and I think I felt the baby move yesterday morning, but it's hard to be sure this early on. I have my next appointment tomorrow and look forward to hearing the heartbeat and getting a good report from the doctor.

Still no boy names have popped into my head. Feel free to tell me your favorite(s)--but I might steal it!

Morning walk

Nate and I go on a walk around the neighborhood each morning. He leads the way and always seems to stop at the same places (certain flowers, every sprinkler head he sees, certain walkways).

Precious times

There have always been little moments of joy with Nate since he has been born, but they seem to happen more and more as he gets older. This morning, Jon got up with Nate and let me sleep for another hour (a moment of joy in and of itself), and when I got up, we all were hanging out in the living room. Jon and I were standing near a doorway, and Nate was walking toward us, but not really watching. He walked into Jon and nearly lost his balance, but he righted himself. Jon and I both laughed, and as Nate was walking away, he let out a big guffaw too, so he could be part of whatever it was we were laughing at. That made us laugh harder. It was just so cute.

Yesterday, Casey came over with her one-month-old boy, Bennett. Bennett was in his carseat on the floor, and Nate walked up to him. I said, "Be gentle," and Nate used one finger to poke Bennett in the forehead. It might have been a little rough, because Bennett made a funny face. Nate hasn't had much (any) exposure to newborns, but I think he knows what I mean when I say to be gentle; that's what I say when he touches flowers when we go on our walks. A moment later, Nate came back to Bennett, and I told him again to be gentle. This time he bent over and used one finger to stroke what little hair Bennett has--just like he touches flowers. :)

Pumpkin patch: then & now

Nate at the pumpkin patch last October:


Nate at the pumpkin patch this October:

PT update

Nate's physical therapist is pleased with his gross motor skill development. His walking now puts him where most 15 month olds are (he is 17 months old). Now, though, she recommends he have a speech evaluation, since most kids say at least a few, if not 15-20, words by now, and he doesn't say anything (not even "no" or "uh-oh"). I know I shouldn't worry, but it's hard not to. I just keep reminding myself that I have a happy, contented son, which is what matters most at this point.

Back to normal

It took Nate all the way until Saturday to feel better. That was the first day he ate more than three bites of food at a meal without crying (because I think it was hurting his stomach). Now he's back to his cheerful, chipper self. We spent yesterday together playing around the house. One of his favorite things lately has been to wrap himself up in the curtains and hide while I ask, "Where's Nate?" and come tickle him. His laugh cracks me up.

My parents were here from Friday night until Tuesday morning for a quick visit. It was really nice to have them. We all went down to Laguna for a few hours on Saturday to walk around and have lunch. Nate put his feet in the ocean for the first time (I think it shocked him). On Sunday, we all went to church, and it worked out perfectly that I had been scheduled to play flute for special music, so my parents got to hear/see that. I think it was Sunday afternoon that my dad took Jon to Home Depot to buy him a new toy--an air compressor (how exciting!). We went to dinner at CPK that night. On Monday, my dad dropped my mom and me off to get pedicures while he took Nate with him to Home Depot to teach him about the different kinds of wood. ;) On Monday evening, my parents stayed home with Nate while Jon and I went out to a lovely, relaxed, long dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, the Sundried Tomato (though we've only been there twice). It was great!

Now it's back to the real world with cleaning, errands, and meetings!

Mimi = fun

Nate and my mom spent some time in the back yard this weekend. Here he is making sure she is chasing him around the table:



After a minute, he would laugh while he walked right to her to be tickled:

Better

Things are a lot better in the Varela household today. Jon stayed home from work on Monday to recover, but he was back at work and nearly back to normal on Tuesday. Nate, on the other hand, has taken a while to recover. He got sick on Friday and is still not himself today. He's fussy and clingy and doesn't want to eat (shocker!). I'm praying he is back to his chipper self by Friday, though, because that's when my parents are coming. They will be here for a quick visit (until Tuesday morning), and I'm really looking forward to it. Of course, I have completely neglected the housework this week (just like Sara when her boys were sick this past weekend--I love the baked potato part), as nearly every waking minute has to be devoted to Nate, but I'm sure my parents won't notice since they'll be too caught up with Nate.

I have my 12-week prenatal appointment today and will get to hear the heartbeat--yay! I remember the first time around, when I was pregnant with Nate, I thought about it all the time (at least once an hour)--how big the baby was that day, what was developing that week, what we should name him/her, when and where I should register, etc. But I'm finding with this pregnancy that I've sometimes forgotten I'm pregnant (if I'm not having morning sickness)! I guess I just don't have time to think about it. I receive weekly e-mails about the pregnancy and how the baby is developing, but I have time only to skim them (before, I'd read them in-depth and click through all the links).

Oh, and about names: I absolutely cannot think of a boy name I like. I've mentioned a few to Jon, but he has voted no on them, which is fine because I'm not really attached to them anyway. With Nate, we didn't know if he was a boy or girl, and I couldn't settle on a girl name. Does this mean I just need to think harder or does it mean I'm having a girl? :)

My boys

Now my poor husband is really sick. This is no fun at all. He feels terrible and I wish there were something I could do to help! My poor boys!

Sick again

Nate woke up yesterday morning with some sort of stomach bug. He kept down a bit of liquid and a few crackers yesterday, but he had a hard night last night and a very rough morning this morning. We spent the day watching Little Einsteins episodes (we have about 10 saved on our DVR, and we watched all 10 of them and might have even repeated one or two), going on a few quick walks in the stroller, and just cuddling. Nate was super hot all day long but never had a fever. He kept down a few sips of 7up (which he had never tasted before and now hates), a few bites of popsicle, and a Saltine. He went to bed very angry because he wanted more water than what we gave him, which was only a little bit. I feel so terrible and wish he could understand why we weren't giving him what he wanted. Nothing else matters when your child is sick. :(

Tada!

Nate is walking! He started taking 5 or 6 steps at once last week, and a few days later would walk across a room. Now he's walking pretty well! :)

Pregnancy

I had my first prenatal appointment this week, and it went well. Nothing too exciting happens at the 8-week visit, since the baby is still too small (kidney beanish) to hear its heartbeat with the Doppler or anything like that. I do get to go back on Tuesday, though, for an ultrasound where they will verify my due date. I had an ultrasound with Nate at this stage, too; the baby looks like a little blob with arm buds and leg buds, but you can see the beating heart! That's pretty cool.

I've been feeling relatively good as far as morning sickness goes. I've pulled out all my old tricks I learned while pregnant with Nate (like keeping food by the bed and eating right when I wake up in the morning--ahem, I mean right when Nate wakes up--so that I have something in my stomach). I'm pretty tired and still feel somewhat queasy most of the day, but so far so good!

Fun

Announcement

I've been meaning to post the news for a few days but haven't had the time... We are expecting our second little Varela! :) I'm due April 10, and we're very excited!

New video

Nate is getting closer and closer to walking. He still will take a few steps toward outstretched arms. Here he is using a unique walker.

Missouri

We got back this past Tuesday from a quick trip to Missouri, where Jon's mom's side of the family lives. Jon grew up going there at least once a year to visit his grandparents and aunts and uncles (there are lots--Colleen has six siblings). He has lots of fond memories of playing with his cousins and making trouble at his grandparents' house in the tiny town of Eldon.

We flew out of Orange County on Thursday (yes, Thursday, the day the authories foiled the terror plot in London... We had a very long day and arrived in St. Louis over seven hours later than scheduled). We stayed at Jon's aunt Mary's house in Jefferson City. Friday was kind of a recovery day--I don't remember doing much on this day except going to get coffee at the Starbucks in the new Target store there. On Saturday, we drove about two hours back in the direction of St. Louis to attend Jon's cousin Jessica's wedding in Mexico, Missouri. On Sunday, we went to church at Fellowship Bible Church, where Jon's grandfather was the pastor before he died about 12 years ago. It was a little country church with a big, long basement floor where Jon says he used to run around and play games. After church, we went to the White family reunion, where I met some of Jon's grandmother's siblings and aunts and other relatives. (Weird side note: the reunion was held in the lower level of a Masonic temple!....) On Monday, we visited Jon's grandparents' house, where Jon pointed out the tree he used to love to climb, the fields and stream where he and his cousins used to run and play, the room he used to sleep in that used to be so big to him (it was tiny), etc. Monday evening, we went back to Aunt Mary's house and ate Colleen's tacos. Then we had to pack up to leave! Our flight was Tuesday afternoon out of St. Louis, and the security hassles were much more manageable.

This wasn't an extremely kid-friendly trip with all the driving, flying, and sitting, but Nate did well. He was very happy to be home on Tuesday, though. We got in the house, and he crawled excitedly to each of his toys and played with it for a minute before going on to the next one.

Oh, and while on the trip, Nate took his first steps! He still doesn't really walk on his own, but if you stand him on his feet, then move a foot or two away from him with your arms out, he'll walk three or four steps before planting his feet and leaning/falling toward you. :)

Too cool